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Our family sofa, from what I remember, was a disgusting shade of blue. This particular shade of blue was on the offensive, ready to be interpreted by my body in ways other colors couldn't. Tasting and swallowing a color isn't possible, but I'm positive that couch gave me a punch to the tonsils more than once. And between the cushions, there was a thick layer of crumbs and food particles that solidified together and sat just beneath the surface. My feet would sometimes itch while lying there and to get it scratched, I would shove my foot between the back of the cushion and just scrape it against shards of Doritos, dried-out cookie crumbs, and other decayed carbohydrates. It felt so good.
My father would sit beside me in his green arm chair with no arms on it and drink Old Milwaukee and watch TV. This was our nightly ritual. He would watch re-runs of MASH and Cheers and get drunk and I would doze off on the sofa, periodically scraping my foot against the crumb-laden scratching post until he decided it was time to eat. He would saunter over to our stove which had a permanent brown burn mark that stretched from one end of the panel all the way over to the other. It didn't all happen at once, it accumulated after so many nights of my father's midnight drunk cooking choreography.
The food was always prepared perfectly and was always served in under one hour. He may have burned the shit out of the actual stove several times, but never the food. It's beyond confusing as to how he managed that. It's as if the universe was watching him and had every intention to make him ruin, burn, or drop something, but then just decided "Fuck it, let him succeed. What's one more paradox?"
After we ate, I would doze back off, periodically scraping my foot against the crumb confetti under the cushion until he would say "Alright, time for bed" and he would carry me back to my parent's room where we would sleep until morning. I slept in my parent's bed, with my actual parents in it, until I was about thirteen or fourteen. That may seem strange and that's because it is.
Years later, as a spritely young college student, I met a French exchange girl. She was ethnic Armenian and had every bit of that Levantine merchant (as Hitler called them) mystique about her. Her frame was small, her body was thin, and she dressed like a hipster. I'm not really sure what a hipster is, but I assume it's someone who denies themselves the pleasure of food in order to wear clothes meant for 11 year old orphans in Kosovo. And that's what she looked like. So tiny, so brown, such bizarre clothes, I imagined her sitting on a dirt road in an Indian market, sitting next to a giant pile of some kind of red spices. That's how exotic she seemed to my extraordinarily white eyes.
Because I'm the type of person who likes to get way too personal way too fast and also because I have a very poor concept of acceptable social behavior, I walked up to her after class one day and said "Hey! Where are you from?" as I extended my hand like a vacuum salesman.
Her eyes widened and then she looked down at the floor and zipped her bag and muttered "France ..." and she said it with absolutely no confidence, as if she expected me to mock her for being French. I said "Oh, where exactly? Paris? Lyon?" and then scanned my memory banks for more French cities that I had skimmed on Wikipedia once. Nope. That's all I had. I remembered Strasbourg, but it was too late as she had already began answering and said she was from Paris and then rattled off the Blah-de-blah-Blah town from where she specifically came. Then my eyes widened because I realized that now I am completely in love with her. By the time we walked out that door together, I already had our wedding location and our first adopted puppy's name already picked out.
That first day was a complete blur. She asked if I had to go to another class and I said no even though I had a lot of classes left for the day. I ended up not going to any of them and sitting with her outside the cafeteria and talking nervously while heart-attack sweat piled on under my armpits. I can't remember anything I said except for one instance when I made her laugh. I seriously saw the roof of her mouth because her head slid back so far from giggling. At one point, I slipped and made a comment about how I was supposed to be sitting in Philosophy class and she said "I thought you said you didn't have class?"
My heart immediately took the wheel and sent a surge of "cute" to my brain and I used it to craft the most charming sentence ever said to any woman anywhere ever: "I lied because I wanted to spend time with you." She stared at me for a second and I smiled and widened my eyes and she started laughing and said "You don't have to do that! We can text!" and by the end of that first day, I had her number. Feeling high from the first step towards an exclusive, committed, monogamous relationship with her, I resigned myself from the table and said I was actually going to class. In reality, I was going home to take a shower. Humans are 95% water and at that moment, 94% of it was soaked into my shirt. Before I left, I held up my hand for a high-five, but for some reason, when she touched my hand, I clasped my fingers between her's and just held it like that for a second. Then I said "Byeeeee" and she said "Byeeee" in an equally high-pitched tone and we parted ways.
While I was at home that night, I had thoughts running back and forth about what I should do next. I have her number, so should I text her? Every ten minutes, I would pick up the phone, type a text, delete it, and then put the phone down. I did that all night until I finally decided that we would have no contact until we saw each other in class the next day. However, even that seemed like it wasn't enough, so I used every ounce of my overly-observant, borderline-stalker instincts and thought about every possibility that I could use to be closer to her. Then the perfect plan emerged: I would intentionally show up late. Sounds strange, but the desks were split into two and she sat directly behind me and the girl who sits next to me has a BFF in the same class. If I show up late, her BFF will take my seat and I'll be "forced" to take the one right behind it which just so HAPPENS to be next to her. With the confidence that my psychotic obsession with her had made a plan come together, I shut my eyes and went to sleep.
The plan worked. There was an awkward silence at first and I thought about how I was going to kill myself once I got home because of it, but then the professor gave us a group assignment. Group assignments are carte-blanche to interact with other students with every intention EXCEPT the group assignment. I can't remember exactly what it entailed, but I intentionally tried act serious about completing it just to see if she would follow along. Thankfully, she didn't and even tried to be cute and lighten the mood. Everything was falling into the place. I wanted to greedily rub my palms together like Scrooge McDuck.
This period of awkward silences and no-texting lasted longer than I would have liked, but it's because I was over-thinking every single ounce of intention which went behind every action. Then Charlie St. Cloud was released in theatres and that was our first date. We didn't actually go to the theatre, we stayed in her apartment and told stories and drank blueberry vodka (which I detest) and then decided to just not even attend. Part of me was elated because that meant we could be alone the entire night. The entire rest of me was feeling sick and my eyes were blood-shot red. Despite my wretched human body in which I was obliged to keep alive, I've never had a more fulfilling experience before. We told each other everything about our families. I told her everything about my crazy German parents, about growing up in Suriname with no electricity before we moved to Texas when I was a kid, how my mother always screams "You kids make me so nervous, I could just shit!" and all the rest. In turn, she told me about how her mother tries to treat every illness with Armenian folk remedies, like putting a wad of garlic in your ear for a headache and wrapping a hot stone in a towel and putting it on top of your stomach for a belly ache and then she told me her father died when she was about four years old. She started to cry and I told her that I couldn't feel what she was feeling because my father was a chronic alcoholic and chain-smoker and was still alive well into his early seventies. Nothing seemed as small as her existence when it was inside of my big bodied embrace at that point in time.
Of course, you can see where this leads. The usual pattern ensued: We spend time together, we become a couple, we only spend time with each other, and with time comes obligations and with obligations comes a commitment and with commitment comes a relationship and with a relationship comes sacrifice. My greedy plan was being fulfilled faster than I could have expected, but I wasn't ready. I just simply was not ready for the stares other men would give to her, almost graciously ignorant of how it might affect me, the fights we would have because of my insecurity, the days without speaking because I was stubborn enough to wait for her to come to me instead of the other way around ... but there was never anything through which we couldn't push. We made it through each, individual, hurtful phase.
Really, we did. My previous girlfriends, whom I still love and wish nothing but happiness upon, couldn't do what she did or tolerate what she tolerated. I even appealed to TeamLiquid for help several times regarding my attempts to learn her language and once to help write an apology letter (albeit deceptively) to show my proficiency. By the way, if anyone is wondering how that turned out, she read it and just said "You didn't write this." and the kissed me. That had a very Taylor Swift ending. It sounds like it couldn't be true, but with what was about to come before us, it almost seems insignificant.
My father passed away almost a year into our relationship. I say "my father" and "passed away" because this is the normal, distant language I'm expected to use. I accept it and will follow the protocol, but I will say this: My father passed away, but my daddy died. I can accept my father passing away and I will never accept my daddy dying. The negativity which this event unleashed on our relationship is what lead to its complete and utter Soviet-style collapse. I starved her of honest interaction and she responded accordingly. After my daddy died, I became completely demented. I became a cancer-phobe (since he died at 72 from cancer) and a hypochondriac. I was running to doctor after doctor, psychiatrist after psychiatrist and I wouldn't discuss a single aspect of it with her. The final nail in the coffin, straw on the camel's back, and mound on the grave was when I packed up and moved back in with my mother. And even THIS she was willing to tolerate. She loved my mother and my mother loved her and she understood that as a mother of four children who has never lived alone, she wants the youngest, the baby, me, to be back home with her in this time of my father's death. In her mind, it was a cultural obligation and as a good German boy, I will come back to my mother.
Except that I only became more distant. The idea of speaking with her on the phone would make my back erupt into this rash which felt like it would be with me seven weeks after my death. My embarrassment, shame, and above all, my complacency with my pathetic mental situation was defeating me. Utterly and hopelessly defeating me. There were nights when I would be in bed with my phone next to my hand and periodically I would turn over to see how many of her missed calls would rack up ... I think her record was over thirty calls. Thirty calls in one night. But I just could not bring myself to reciprocate. I just wanted to die.
My mother sprang to my rescue and arranged for me to go on a short holiday in Austria with my father's family, but this wasn't my first set of goodbyes to put into motion. Marie texted me and told me she was going back to France and this was my last chance to see or speak to her. I called her immediately after reading that text, but she didn't answer. I called again later that night, no answer. I tried to Skype her, no answer. Ready to just sink my head into my pillow for yet another night of hypochondria and loneliness, I turned out the lamp.
Then the phone rang.
It was her.
Her voice ... I could have fainted at the sound of it and not even the strongest smelling salts or most convincing Voodoo ritual could have brought me back to life ... her voice ...
Somewhere, out of my thick-tongued, dry-mouthed, hypochondria-ridden brain, I made the sincere promise of seeing her before she left for France. It was absolutely sincere. I remember when I said "I love you" before I hung up, she said "You should .... because I love you."
Thankfully, my sister was visiting from Austin at that time and she was going home regardless, so I rode with her with plans to stay for the weekend and that was how I found myself in her apartment that night. Every bit of my distance, neurosis, psychosis, every last scintilla of it vanished that very night. I kissed her, her mouth, her cheeks, her forehead, her eye-lids and then promised to kiss every part of her before she left. She even came back to my sister's house with me. I felt like a twelve old sneaking my girlfriend into my parent's house. What happiness I felt! We slept together on the couch, sleeping soundly to the Dirty Dancing DVD on repeat.
The next day, as my sister drove Marie and myself to the airport, my heart was completely steady, my mind was clear, and I felt normal. Not sad, not anything. Just completely normal. But somewhere along the line inside of that airport, around those people, I just couldn't say goodbye to her. I did what, in my mind, was keeping a theme alive. Kissing every part of her before she leaves seems like a theme, right? So, I lifted up her left elbow and kissed it. Without a moment's hesitation, I said "I'm gonna kiss the other one when you come back" and then she said "When you come here!!"
Her voice ... the excitement ... every single one of you would kill me if you knew that I never spoke with her after moment. Never sent her any Skype messages, any Facebook messages, no emails, nothing. You guys would tear me apart and you have every right to do so ... but Taylor Swift had a point. Sometimes, you have to believe in love stories.
"Remember that woman from work who bought all our furniture when we moved?" my mother asked on one awkward summer Wednesday morning
"Yeah ... Sandra, right?"
"Yes, well, her and her husband are moving to Montreal, their son is a doctor up there, and since daddy died, they want to leave that furniture with us."
"What are we gonna do with it?"
"Well ... let's just put it in the living room and then we'll have a big garage sale."
It seemed like a normal proposal, I had no ulterior or subconscious feelings towards the decision, so I welcomed that disgusting blue sofa back into our home. After all, it was the structure which hosted, comforted, and soothed me during my boyhood years. During this time of furniture transplantation, I tried sending emails to Marie, short and sweet, nothing too serious, and she responded in the equivalent tone. Knowing that it was over between us, I felt I had nothing to lose. One night, after becoming completely dogshit drunk, I wrote her a message which could carry every dead man's memories from the Civil War. That's how long and obnoxious it was. And, somehow, through the great unknown cosmic forces of physics and probability, she gave a favorable response. One thing lead into another, a different tone, a different medium of conversation, a different feeling ... but somehow, it wasn't different. It's what we are.
It is what we are. To put it into humane sentiments, I had even broken up with my current (at the time) girlfriend Emma, just on the off-chance that this could lead into something which would make me happy.
When I signed into Skype that night because she wanted to tell me the "big news" (which I knew was her returning to Austin, but to retain the mood, I played ignorant), I could not believe the image I saw. When that webcam flicked on, I just saw her sitting on her bed and holding up her right elbow and said "Are you gonna kiss this one, too?"
I nodded. I couldn't speak.
To skip past a few boring and minor details, we ended up embracing each other in person in a way which would make the Columbine shooters put aside their plans and think about sticking around on Earth for the possibility of having something similar to that. It was absolutely incredible. After deciding on being hosted by my mother for the rest of the holiday, she found herself in our home. Welcomed to the smell of roast beef and slightly raw potatoes (typical German odors), she collapsed into my mother's arms. I was shocked to see that she was so happy to be within the confines of the family which raised me, my mother's little baby. Not knowing what to do, I ran away to my bathroom and turned on the faucet and waited for those two to settle down.
They never did. When I walked outside to the patio, I heard my mother's dialogue and realized that she was explaining every detail of our family to Marie. Not every detail, but every single particle from the Austro-Hungarian Empire until that very moment. Trying to brush my mother off of Marie's back, trying to get Marie to pay attention to me, trying to get BOTH of them to settle down and call it a night ... absolutely futile. That first night turned into an all-night family revisionist history session. And the fault was on both parties, to be clear.
However, it wasn't always that boring. One night, while in bed with her, I told her the story of that disgusting blue sofa and how it is the EXACT same sofa we have in our living room right now. I told her how clean it is now, how different it feels now, but in my heart, that will always be MY sofa. She laughed so hard when I described my foot-scraping ritual. And how my dad always cooked when he was drunk. She couldn't contain herself. She would giggle so hard and then peer at me with these wifely eyes, that I could just FEEL the oxytocin building up inside of her membranes. All of these family history" shticks wore off very quickly. This is when things became a little ... aggressive. I had pushed her away, lost my mind, then kind of regained my good sense, then kind of lost it again, then suddenly I have her in my home with our old furniture, which provides MANY stories to make her laugh. But ... having her .... all good sense is absent. One night, we had sex with each other. It was my first time, it was her first time, and everything else is irrelevant.
She left, became settled back in Austin, had her first semester at U.T. right ahead of her. I'm still with my mother, doing what I can to help around the house. I re-painted the entire house, cut down all the cedar trees, even took some of the leftover cedar and had a beautiful plant-bed made for my mother ... just things like that. However, I couldn't live this life without any amount of sacrifice. I couldn't live this amount of happiness with having her back in my life without some form of responsibility ... I just couldn't.
In one very distant part of my mind, I knew this was coming.
When I received the call, I was wearing work-gloves and had just turned off a chain-saw.
"I'm pregnant."
I threw off my gloves and ran inside to make sure I heard that correctly? Did I hear really hear that?
At that point, I was almost delirious. I had tunnel vision.
I took off my gloves and gave them to my brother. I was going inside. How could I EVER TELL MY MOTHER? How could I ever tell my mother I made a girl pregnant before I was married?
I wanted to kill myself.
As I entered that house ... my mother comes RUNNING at me, SOBBING and says, verbatim "I just got off the phone with Marie ..." and then started sobbing again and saying how proud she is. How proud she is? Of me? For what?
My mother always wanted grandbabies and she wanted them from me and she wanted them from her. In her mind, this is the greatest gift she could have ever received.
In my mind, it's .... I don't know what it is. To be honest, I cannot comprehend what it actually is. Last night, I slept on that disgusting blue sofa in our living room. At one point, I woke up and turned over. I dug my foot between the backs of the cushions, but they're clean now. There is no crumb confetti to comfort me.
Slowly descending into this spiral of responsibility to which I have voluntarily assigned myself, I drifted off into a deep sleep.
At one point, I woke up because I heard the typical voice from my father:
"Alright, it's time for bed."
I was so groggy and tired, but I got up and lifted my arms up, waiting to be picked up by my father.
The reality seeped into my pores like an air-borne illness. My father is dead. He is not going to pick me up and take me to bed. His days of taking care of his children are over. They're over.
However, mine are just beginning.
 
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Probably the most beautiful blog I've ever read.... The imagery, the analogies, pure genius.
CONGRATULATIONS
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United States17042 Posts
CONGRATULATIONS ^_^ Beautiful Beautiful <3
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Like, holy shit wow.
This is an awesome piece of writing.
EDIT: And congrats obviously.
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United States4796 Posts
Awww congrats pubbanana! Tell us all about it!
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I can't really sympathize with you since I've never been in the same situation, but one thing sticks out in my mind from high school health classes.
Use protection. Always.
Also congrats!
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On November 25 2012 13:45 Praetorial wrote:I can't really sympathize with you since I've never been in the same situation, but one thing sticks out in my mind from high school health classes. Use protection. Always.
I think this time he wants to keep the kid?
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Truly a great read, and congratulations.
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Congrats man, fantastic blog post - one of the best TL posts I've read.
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Half way through, I went ahead and gave 5/5 just in case I forgot at the end.
Great work. Congratulations.
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What a great read. Congratulations man.
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ALLEYCAT BLUES49647 Posts
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Wow. I read the whole thing. That was amazing. Congrats and good luck on fatherhood. I'm sure you'll do fantastic!
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Wow that was beautiful.
I once went out with a French, Armenian girl.
That ended abruptly because she was a med student and her parents didn't approve of an Atheist or the fact I was having an effect on her school.
Girl left a scar in a really bad place. That's the last virgin I'll ever sleep with.
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Great and amazing read. Congratulations man!
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Beautiful Story.
Beautiful Prose.
Congratulations man!
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dam im glad i came back to finish it
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This is seriously an amazing read. I'm not sure what else to say but congrats and I hope that this doesn't complicate things in your mind instead of cements them for you.
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Congrats man! (Even though y'all are at UT  ) Good luck!
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Nice story dude you sound really lucky
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Pubbanana you are the man!!
You should write more often too, you are so good at it
Congratulations!
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damn. Ten stars for a wonderful read. I started t skim but was like " wow this is interesting" and went back and read every word.
Congrats and good luck 
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You have a gift with words.
Congrats!
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This is... the best blog I've ever read on TL. Congratulations and just the best wishes for you. =)
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On November 25 2012 16:29 Pokebunny wrote:damn. Ten stars for a wonderful read. I started t skim but was like " wow this is interesting" and went back and read every word. Congrats and good luck
Ditto, I started reading, checked the length, was like "holy shit" and started to skim the rest and had to go back and read it all proper after reading a few more lines. Congrats
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amazing, beautiful, ties all together, your life is an assortment of meaningful happenstances that make it seem as if there really is intention in this world
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Grats, i have a 13 month old girl, it's pretty cool and amazing. The one advice i have is to really try and enjoy the first few months as they are very special with the first kid.
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On November 25 2012 17:37 r.Evo wrote:
This is... the best blog I've ever read on TL. Congratulations and just the best wishes for you. =)
I agree, completely amazing.
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Congratulations man Awesome writing, good luck in the future ! And Vive la France :p
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wow dude. That's probably the best piece of writing I've read read on TL.
I must say that your girl sounds amazing. It might seem like you aren't ready for a kid yet but I think that its a mistake that couldn't have happened with a better woman. She's a keeper. Don't fuck it up.
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5/5 easily, started skimming it, had to go back and read it, and it is easily one of the best blogs I've read. You, sir, are a great writer and I sincerely hope to read more of your blogs soon.
Also, congratulations are in order! Can't say I really relate, but I'm sure you have some great changes coming into your life.
Let us know how it goes!
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That was actually one of the most incredible stories I've ever read. Congratulations!
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Wow what a beautiful piece of writing. Ive never had a TL blog really suck me up into the story, it happened here though . Congratulations man!
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This is the best blog I've ever read. Congratulations and good luck.
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Congrats! Wonderful post. I wish you the best with your partner, she's a keeper.
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Congratulations man, you're going to make a great father.
I wish we all had the luxury of becoming a family with our one true love. Didn't happen with me, but alas, knowing that it really is out there gives me comfort.
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Netherlands6142 Posts
I'm crying. grats and gl man
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Very wonderful story.
And congratulations!
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Oh man, grats!!!!!
edit - lol got bad token error fort he first time ever. Apparently I was on the reply thing for too long before posting haha. What can I say, I reread parts of it ~~
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Netherlands19129 Posts
Aahhh beautiful story and beautifully told! Congratulations good sir.
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I echo the people who have wished you well and congratulations ^^
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Touching stuff, well written, and congratz!
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Estonia4644 Posts
This is simply amazing
made me emotional
everyone should read this
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What a beautiful blog, and beautiful story! I am almost crying right now and i'm not at all emotional!
Best of luck to you and Marie!
You should write more blogs in the future!
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True story or just creative writing?
GL if it is true. I'm sure you'll be a good father.
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Aotearoa39261 Posts
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beautiful story. absolutely marvelous. 5/5
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"I should be in philosophy class right now"
"Oh you shouldn't do that! We can text!"
When I read this all I could think was, "damn, she's smooth"
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I cried!
Be a great dad man.
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Gott schütze und segne euch 3.
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Congrats!
I almost had a kid once. Would've taken care of it but we found out she wasnt pregnant. It was quite a scare though considering that we were really young (REALLY young).
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Great story. Best wishes!
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Congratulations
A touching story, I hope things work out for you in the end.
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I even appealed to TeamLiquid for help several times regarding my attempts to learn her language and once to help write an apology letter (albeit deceptively) to show my proficiency. By the way, if anyone is wondering how that turned out, she read it and just said "You didn't write this." and the kissed me
Oh wow, now I am so happy that I helped you out with this letter :o I'm a character of your story hahaha.
Congratulations !
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United States10089 Posts
o my god?
5/5 would read again.
congratz ^^ :D
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Are you guys going to get married, or are you going to stay as bf and gf? Also congratulations Puba, you are going to be a great father.
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Touching story, best of luck in your life.
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Congrats! That was really well written, too. Hope you keep us updated!
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Wow.
I'm really glad you're doing alright man. On and off, things have been tough (for us all), so I'm really relieved you've found such beauty. But now you've got it, don't you dare let that fall through. Bear with her, carry through, truly become a full man and do pursue the right with more than all the strength you've got!
Love from Switzerland
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Lalalaland34486 Posts
This is such a beautiful story. Just added it to my folder of bookmarks named 'Feel Good Reads', alongside 'The Worst (Best) Pick-up Line Story Ever'
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congradulations it was an amazing read that I'm very thankful for you writing.
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Awesome read. Thanks for sharing!
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I read only the part where you first met her. Damn yo.
Also what the fuck this must have taken like 3 hours to write, not to mention how well thought out it was. Gratz man!
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This story reminds me of that lucky bastard from TL who met the girl in Europe and wrote those really awesome blogs about it.
Congrats!
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United States10328 Posts
great writing, amazing story
Congrats!
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This is simply beautiful. Like shady, I was just mind-blown by the writing itself. It took me a moment to gather myself and wish you guys the best as parents and what appears to be soul mates. Wow, I gotta get me a girl like that. Simply amazing.
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Be nice to the mother. If you are going insane again...pull out of it. You have free will!
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I cannot emphasize how much I love your story! Truly beautiful!
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FuDDx
United States5007 Posts
Fatherhood so scary so rewarding...so scary.
If you should need anything,anything at all please let me know. I don't have many answers, but I do have a bit of experience!!
Congratulations, enjoy every minute of it !!
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The last part was a little tough (emotionally) to get through. My face hurts from frowning... I love my dad
5/5 I wish you all the luck in the world. I can tell you're going to be a great man and father
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This was a great read, thanks for sharing. And of course congratulations on being a father!
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oh my god how can anybody write so well.
i never read things longer than like, 5 lines because i have no attentino span but i read the entire thing it was crazy.
it was beautiful
congrats.
edit: gratz on the spotlight, "intensely human and moving blog" is RIGHT
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United States13896 Posts
This story = Mike Tyson-strength K.O. combination. Starts and finishes with hooks to the temporal lobe, sandwiched around a devastating uppercut causing trauma to my frontal lobe and sensory cortex. My head is left spinning.
Amazing writing man, and I wish you, your progeny, and your family all the best.
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Wow, your writing is amazing...I was captivated the whole time. Keep us updated and congrats!
Btw, are you in college too?
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Congrats and thanks for the 10 minutes in which you managed to make me feel everything in the spectrum of human emotions
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Damn, this was a really nice read. I'm feeling a little bit more optimistic after this.
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Was not expecting to read this on TL out of the blue... but I couldn't help but read the whole thing. Very moving story.
Good luck with your life and your child.
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Northern Ireland24214 Posts
Great read, especially as someone who is going through a similar 'circle of life' kind of scenario at the minute, was a poignant read made better by your great writing style
Even persuaded my girlfriend to read the link, and she tries to steer clear of any hyperlinks with the words 'Team Liquid' anywhere near them!
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omg this was just amazing. please write more, it was such a good story! i got chills at the end!
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Cripes man. You're a real-life liver. Always amazing, what you write, the way you write. Thanks dude for keeping us updated! And Congratulations!
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God damn this was a fantastic read, a real love story unfolding in front of our eyes. Congratulations and all the best in the future.
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Whan an amazing story, congratz !
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Your prose is strong!
I wish you the best!
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Amazing blog. Congratulations!
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Wow....reading this really makes me want to continue my blog back from spring considering I'm about to become a father in 3 weeks...
I guess maybe I never really planned on continuing it though, something about the therapy of writing it all down or whatever...
Anyway, best of luck to the both of you, and the rest of your family. It's one hell of a ride, and it's just beginning!!
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The ending made me cry
congrats dude, best TL blog ever no doubt
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I think I'm in love with you.
Very good blog, however, did you use protection or not? Just a curiosity that's personal to me because if you did indeed use a condom satisfactorily, I'll become very insecure 
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This is one of the most beautiful stories I have ever read, on TL or off of it. Without even knowing you or anything about you I feel so...proud and so vicariously happy for you to have lived this awesome story with such an amazing ending. It sounds like something out of a Nicholas Sparks novel/movie or something. Stories like this are what make life worth living. The idea that I might someday live through something half this amazing is true inspiration.
Thank you so much for sharing and best of luck as a father!
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On November 26 2012 11:20 WaveofShadow wrote:
Wow....reading this really makes me want to continue my blog back from spring considering I'm about to become a father in 3 weeks...
I guess maybe I never really planned on continuing it though, something about the therapy of writing it all down or whatever...
Anyway, best of luck to the both of you, and the rest of your family. It's one hell of a ride, and it's just beginning!!
I wish you good luck! My first born is expected around the second/third week of March... same time as HoTS release (talk about timing)
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Wow man. Powerful, REAL and affirming of the better things in life. Thanks for the read and GL!
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Holy crap man. That was fantastic. It sounds like something that would happen in a movie!
Congratulations on your child. I wish you the best!
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You're such a good writer. I aspire to be as good as you.
The anecdote was amazing, but I love your style.
Please write more.
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United States7483 Posts
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Great writing seriously, you have talent galore. I hope you guys get married, it seems you are meant to be together.
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Great piece of writing do more in future
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Fantastic writing I really enjoyed it. Gratz
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It sounds like you are with the right woman. Marry her!
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Amazing, thank you! This was very heartwarming, I wish you the best of luck.
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United States5582 Posts
You are an excellent writer. Thus, it was an excellent read.
Congratulations to you and your family! May the baby come out strong and healthy.
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Really nice read. First time I just skimmed through but then noticing the great writing I went back and read the whole thing.
Gratz and good luck!
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I think this sounds like the best, most well written up and interesting blog on Teamliquid ever that even I, am using proper punctuation and grammar for this comment, which, trust me, is not normal. Well done and hope you have a great future!
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There are always YouTube videos where people say things like "this will make you cry." There is even a tumblr dedicated to such videos somewhere. They never do anything for me.
However, from time to time, there is a rare gem of a blog post on TeamLiquid that will really make me feel something deep down inside, even with the miles upon miles of wire that are the Internet separating us.
This was one of those blogs. You are a superb writer.
Congratulations. On your baby, and on finding love.
Good Luck. With your baby, and with love.
EDIT: I just thought I'd note that I just realized that the other blogs I've read on TeamLiquid that have stirred something inside me were also written by you for the most part. You truly are an amazing writer, and if you ever decide to write a book, I would love to read it.
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Great writing and congrats!
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Congrats man
What a great story! I have absoloutely no doubt, that you will be a great daddy! - and you better more about it! Will look forward to your next one. You know, if you need to crowdsource baby names, we're here for you!
Best wishes
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Great story, incredibly well written
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With a bilanguage education, your child will have a lot of opportunities.
I remembered Strasbourg,
Haha, thank you for that: even Parisians -especially parisians- don't know/remember that my city is not in Germany
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Wow, this was really good! How old are you btw?
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what a wonderful heartwarming story. I almost cried. Thank you for sharing that part of your life with us. Blogs like this are showing what a great community TL still is.
Greetings from Germany
p.S.: Sure kind of raw potatoes are a German thing? :D
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awesome writeup. Congrats man.
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On November 25 2012 15:43 nohbrows wrote:
Beautiful Story.
Beautiful Prose.
Congratulations man!
so true.
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Congratulations. Best of luck coping with the responsibility.
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Firstly, This is probably the best blog I've ever red on TL. Filled with emotions, fears and typical relationship anxiety put in so gently that you don't even think about it.
Secondly, Congrats on you becoming a Dad, hope your kid gets born healthy and in a home with love! Which it seems neither of you lack
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Wow, she's a keeper. Great blog!
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This is the most beautiful piece of writing I can ever remember reading on TL. You convey your emotions in such a way that I can picture exactly how you felt and I got a lump in my throat at so many points, which almost never happens to me! Congratulations!
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Great piece, so well written!
Congratulations!
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Fantastic blog. I'm feeling a little lovesick at the moment, but the story of your life and relationship with her cheered me up, so thank you.
Keep up the good work, and believe in yourself.
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Amazing, So good wow. Congrats man!
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I cried. Such an amazing story
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What a story and amazing writing. Perfect.
I hope you and Marie can be happy together.
GL HF becoming a father
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I nearly missed it because of the title.
Good read.
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This is an amazing story that is brilliantly told. You are a really impressive writer. I'm sorry to hear about your father but I'm glad to hear that you managed to regain control over your psychosis. I've never experienced anything like that, but it sounds pretty serious; and finding a girl who can make you forget about such pain is someone worth hanging onto.
Congratulations on your child. I hope that you and your family find peace and happiness through your newest family member.
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Dude...wow
I hope things work out for you, as i hope they will for myself eventually. Losing a parent is hard, im glad you found what you did.
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Congratulations!!!!! What an amazing, intensely written piece. Being Armenian, I could've helped you write that piece in her native language. Keep us updated and good luck.
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"My father passed away, but my daddy died." That made me cry, man. This is an amazing blog.
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You are the man!
Inspiring story and great insight into the mind of a young man just about to become a father .
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My dog is outside uncharacteristically howling, so much for reading out loud, look what you've done to my dog!
Sometimes weirdos get lucky, sometimes weird-etts get lucky too. Expect a lot more chest hair and the best sex of your life, then 12 months of pure stress and then years and years of the coolest shit that will never fit inside of a blog.
Viva La conception!
Great read.
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Outstanding writing, and a great story!
Best of luck!
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Jesus, that was so well written.
Congratulations. Thank you for writing and thanks to the person who spotlighted this.
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Great read, for us fathers out there. There's really nothing better than fatherhood, even if you're too young to realize it
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Extremely well written, I couldn't stop reading. What a story! All the best for you and your family.
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hey man. congratulation. u will become a wonderfull daddy
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Your writing style is very cute ^_^
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nice story man. im happy for you
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This is why I come to TL Blogs *sniff*
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Very nice blog. Life will require significantly more patience now, but kids are lots of fun. Respect and enjoy yours, together with your mate and family.
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5/5 Read
Would read again. I love blogs like this - the only thing I look forward to nowadays coming onto TL
Congratulations by the way! Joining the ranks of Fatherhood on TL
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I felt lazy and tired so I skimmed to the end.
And got the chills and felt ashamed for skimming to the end so quickly.
PS : that's a 100% hit rate !
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That was an incredibly deeply moving story. Congratulations on becoming a father!
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Smix
United States4549 Posts
Holy shit, this is hands down, hands DOWN the best blog I've read on TL. Thank you so much for sharing.
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the cutest thing i've read on TL
maybe the second cutest
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congratulations, alles alles gute euch beiden
oh and raise your kid in a macro kind of way, keep him/her away from cheese
glückwunsch nochmals
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This made me smile.
Congratulations! Happy fatherhood to you!
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Thanks for sharing. Best of luck to both of you!
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How is this below a 5 star?
Amazing story
On November 27 2012 06:07 Smix wrote:
Holy shit, this is hands down, hands DOWN the best blog I've read on TL. Thank you so much for sharing.
couldn't agree more
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Absolutely fantastic. I couldn't stop reading, I felt like I was reading a great, dramatic short story. Splendid!
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Touching. Really makes me think of my girlfriend differently. Fucking incredible. Thank you so much for sharing.
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Omfg, the Piano man writer! :D Wish you good luck with your life and your child!!
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One of the greatest blogs I have ever read. Congratulations man, and I hope the best for you and your family
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best blog on TL hands down. One of the best stories I've heard in a long time. and one of the best written pieces I think I've read in the past six years.
congrats and GL HF!
Keep writing, you have a gift dude.
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United States4991 Posts
Congratulations pubbanana. This was a well and touchingly written piece, and I'm glad I clicked the link to read it .
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I feel like I miss your dad too man, came back to this blog to re-read 5 hours later... really touching story.
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Love how you link your story's ending back to the beginning.
Well done
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<3 one of the best stories I've read.
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10/10 would read again. That ending...
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Wow, what a great read. Congratulations, this is a new beginning
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damn what a read. Loved it.
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Really good read. Keep it up and good luck!
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Grats bro, I really hope you both the best, and it sounds like you both belong together, so I would say best of luck, but that doesn't feel appropriate. What I will say is that you've been given this mantle to bear, and you've been shown by yourself what mistakes to avoid. So do good work, be the best you can be.
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why is 5 the highest i can rate this? amazing.
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Amazing story, really nice read
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Amazing read. Simply amazing. Good luck to you and your child! I hope you and your french girl live long and happily together!
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I've been neglecting to actually post on TL, but reading this made me feel obligated to.
Such an amazing read! Your writing style is brilliant, and the story itself is beautiful. I was reading this on the bus on the way home from University, and I was getting the weirdest looks because of my snickers of happiness, and "aws" under my breath. I hope everything's going well for the both of you. Best of wishes (:!
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The words I am able to write would not do this blog justice. Thank You for sharing this with us.
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You've written your story in the most amazing way imaginable. Thank you for sharing it with me. I wish you to try your best and be the best father you can be and love your amazing Marie for many more years, however cheesy it may sound. : )
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Well written, amazing story. Congratulations!
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5/5 read.
Congratulations.
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FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
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Dude!! THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!
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Wow. Amazingly well-written story - and good luck, of course!
On November 26 2012 20:01 Gonzo103 wrote:
p.S.: Sure kind of raw potatoes are a German thing? :D
haha, exactly what i thought o_O
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I dont read novels anymore. I read TL.
Thank you for sharing and congratulation on becoming a father.
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I know other people have said this, but seriously if you ever consider writing a book, just stick it on here and I'll buy and read it. You've got a fantastic style of writing.
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this gives me hope. im really glad I took the time to read this. congratulations man, I hope the rest of your story proves to be as beautiful as the first parts :D
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That was beautiful, congratulations. You just brightened my day. :D
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This is love. Please post pics of your baby when he's born!
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Seriously, an inspiring blog and an amazing read. Now write a book. I would buy it.
5 stars.
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good luck and congratz!
awesome blog
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konadora
Singapore66117 Posts
omg wow, so beautiful ♥♥ almost murakami-ish storytelling~
CONGRATULATIONS!!! *throws confetti*
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Great Story. Really Great Story.
Congrats.
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Tears in my eyes, Fucking beautiful.
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I am so happy for you that it all worked out for you after getting girl advice on teamliquid XD
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Beautifully written, best of luck OP.
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awesome blog,
congrats to you ^_^
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Seeker
Where dat snitch at?36945 Posts
4.90 stars based on 234 ratings
WHICH SOULLESS BASTARDS ARE REFUSING TO GIVE THIS MAN A 5?!!?!!?
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No other words come to my mind, but amazing. Just amazing.
Congratulations man
5/5
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On November 25 2012 15:04 StarStruck wrote:
Wow that was beautiful.
I once went out with a French, Armenian girl.
That ended abruptly because she was a med student and her parents didn't approve of an Atheist or the fact I was having an effect on her school.
Girl left a scar in a really bad place. That's the last virgin I'll ever sleep with.
omg I cant believe people like that are still out there
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I've never read a long blog like this on on TL before. I always glance at ones that sound interesting, maybe a paragraph or two in I stop. I started reading this blog with the same intent. The next thing I knew I was at the end.
Really well written! I wish you, Marie, and your baby the best.
It only took a very short conversation for you to fall in love with her in college, and it only took a blog on a gaming forum for the rest of us to fall in love with her as well. Thank you for sharing and Congrats!!
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wow that was a fantastic blog. I had a smile on my face the entire time i was reading and the way you explain your feelings i can relate to on almost every level. You seem to be a very talented writer and what a great life story to put on top of that.
I enjoyed every second of reading this, absolutley loved it.
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Congrats man! This blog brang tears to my eyes! GLHF with your new family~!
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Without a doubt the most touching/moving blog I've ever read. Truly amazing.
I've been a father for a few years, and can only say this: No matter how tough you think it's going to be, it will be tougher, and no matter what you hope the rewards are, they are bigger
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On November 25 2012 15:04 StarStruck wrote:
Wow that was beautiful.
I once went out with a French, Armenian girl.
That ended abruptly because she was a med student and her parents didn't approve of an Atheist or the fact I was having an effect on her school.
Girl left a scar in a really bad place. That's the last virgin I'll ever sleep with.
Scars turn into good stories after awhile. So do kids, actually.
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I bow down to thee sir (or thy writing style).
Oh yeah the important stuff...
GRATZ on the child!
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Oh my gosh, I can't believe how well-written that was!! Thank you for sharing this wonderful story, congratulations and best wishes to you two in the future!! <3
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After reading this, I can only hope that one day my story will be as good as yours.
Congratulations! Absolutely wonderful writing.
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Quite a blog, pubbanana. Good luck hf.
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Being a dad is the coolest thing ever. Congratz
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Norway1530 Posts
Beautiful story! Congratulations
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wow. just wow. 10/10. Perfectly written. Congrats! gl with the kid
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Its rare that I read a full post of that length, even rarer that I read a blog, and even rarer still that I post in it. You, sir, are a great writer, and have a great story. I wish you, Marie, and the new child nothing but happiness.
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What can I say? I've been on the phone telling everyone non-stop and refreshing this like crazy. After seeing the amount of views and the number of replies this thread received, I swallowed all my 'internet/IRL' divisions and told her I wrote this. She couldn't believe the amount of congratulations and well-wishes and wants to say thank you to everyone here. I want to talk her into taking a picture with me holding a sign that says 'TeamLiquid Fighting!' 
I appreciate everyone who told me it was perfectly written, but looking at it now, there are a ton of mistakes which embarrass me. Also, there were so many other funny stories I wanted to write, but I didn't want to torture anyone with the length so I left them out. Looking at this huge response, I'm regretting that now. I may go back and re-do this entire blog one day.
As for the questions:
On November 26 2012 02:33 docvoc wrote:
Are you guys going to get married, or are you going to stay as bf and gf? Also congratulations Puba, you are going to be a great father.
We plan on having our wedding in April. And thank you!
On November 25 2012 21:35 Chef wrote:
True story or just creative writing?
GL if it is true. I'm sure you'll be a good father.
It's not creative writing, it's true.
On November 26 2012 08:02 il0seonpurpose wrote:
Wow, your writing is amazing...I was captivated the whole time. Keep us updated and congrats!
Btw, are you in college too?
I will and thank you! I was, but I took a year off. I'm returning next year.
On November 26 2012 11:30 Scholera wrote:I think I'm in love with you. Very good blog, however, did you use protection or not? Just a curiosity that's personal to me because if you did indeed use a condom satisfactorily, I'll become very insecure
No, we didn't use anything. And I love you, too.
On November 26 2012 18:58 Path wrote:
Wow, this was really good! How old are you btw?
Thank you, I'm 24.
On November 25 2012 13:47 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On November 25 2012 13:45 Praetorial wrote:I can't really sympathize with you since I've never been in the same situation, but one thing sticks out in my mind from high school health classes. Use protection. Always. I think this time he wants to keep the kid?
Yes, we're keeping it.
On November 26 2012 20:01 Gonzo103 wrote:
what a wonderful heartwarming story. I almost cried. Thank you for sharing that part of your life with us. Blogs like this are showing what a great community TL still is.
Greetings from Germany
p.S.: Sure kind of raw potatoes are a German thing? :D
Thank you! Well, they weren't finished cooking yet, I guess I didn't mention that. And greetings from America, where I am currently watching every episode of Knallerfrauen.
It's time I finally pry myself away from the laptop. There's a lot to be done.
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Congrats bro Amazing blog.
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I... am not the most social, or empathetic especially, of people. I've had some trouble with that, even (and despite) trying to, and I tend to read blogs or personal stories from time to time to try and understand people, and how they feel, better. I've never been really close to my parents and my romantic involvements have been kind of sparse, so I cannot really relate to you, your situation past and present, or feel close. But... I got stirred.
I was thinking up that reply while I read every other post along the way, before I got to yours, and I usually think that it is generally kind of "useless", "born out of habit" and even sometimes conditioned or hypocritical to put a comment/kind words in its sea of fellows; so I planned to add something along the lines of "even though it's 11 pages in and you probably won't ever read any of it" to mine before I saw that you posted again, and still hit the "Post" button because I think that I have to hand it, not to your writing, but to you.
Good luck.
Also, that memory of you meeting her made me feel somewhat nostalgic, because of the ingenuity, the blunt naivety that your retort encompassed. People's way of thinking and expectations shift after some point, and such things come to be seen as corny. It makes me glad that you got to experience that.
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Lots of love to you and your new family. I have two-year-old triplets, and my kids are by far the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It's a great trip and is as fulfilling as you're willing to work for it to be. And when it feels shitty, just think of me and turn to your girl and say 'You know, it could be worse: we could be that guy."
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man i gt two kids n its a wild ride embrace it
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Oh my god. Congratulations. When is he/she due? Is it known?
Above all I just want to thank you for writing this, because that was the most amazing thing I have ever read.
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Congrats! I have a 10 (almost 11) month old daughter. I fought having a kid so hard because I was so scared/nervous about raising a child. Well, Ill tell you what. After she was born, I have never been happier in my entire life. When you make the proper time for children and have a positive attitude, they are truly wonderful to have in your life.
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Congratulations! You'll do great with being a father.
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Germany1302 Posts
Amazing story and great writeup. Why aren't romantic movies like your story so men could actually watch/enjoy them?
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You are an incredible author and you delivered your story like very few can do. Amazing read. Best of luck with you, im certain you will be fine. Im sure you and your family will have a great future.
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Thank you and all the best for the future
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I had to come out of lurking to 5 star this. I like your writing style.
Also I need to go back and give other people less stars because it doesn't seem right to give them an equal rating to yours.
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TL but I will have to read it.. be back in 30 minutes. ;#
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congrats kid! nah you're a man now! hope you're forever happy. This made me feel so fluffy inside =D
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As someone who is scared to death of sex, and parenthood, this blog was quite a read.
Thank you for writing it, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your days.
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One of the best blogs I've seen in a while, and congrats on your life achievement, fathership
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this was definitely one of the best blogs i've read on TL. dat prose!
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wow... this story kind of blew my mind, i feel the same way about death aswell honestly so it hit me home. Really really good read man. I hope your long future parenthood is amazing and filled with the thousands of joyous memories it deserves.
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You just became a kind of personal hero to me. I've been having a similar relationship with a girl for years now, and this spoke to me pretty deeply. Best of luck from here on out, and cheers to you, my friend.
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What a beautiful story. Congrats!
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Seriously, thank you so much for sharing this story with us because it's amazing. Again, thank you and congratulations!
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You have a way with words that should not be wasted.
Congratulation and i wish you the best of luck.
Amazing story.
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Best TL post I've ever read. Congratulations!
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one of the most heart-warming stories i've ever read. well done sir
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You should sell this story to some movie producer. It's better than any other shit ive watched lol.
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Wow. That was horrible. And also reminiscent.
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United Arab Emirates14 Posts
A better love story than Twilight. Congrats and keep up the blogging, you are very gifted.
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This is my first post in almost 9 months, which is very fitting. An excellent story, and I wish you all the best!
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On November 25 2012 15:53 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
dam im glad i came back to finish it
That's what i said the first time too! And i've read it like three times since
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Good job man, i wouldnt have the nuts to pull that off!
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Inspiring read thanks
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CHILLS DOWN MY SPINE!!! Is what I remarked when I read the last final piece of that story! =) Absolutely fantastic read man, I stayed 10 mins late at work to finish reading this haha. I love your honesty, reading this makes me want to know more about your life and usually I couldn't give 2 shits about people lives that are close to me let alone a complete forum stranger.
Thanks so much for posting this story, just brilliant. You sir are a talented writer!
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Canada9720 Posts
I somehow missed this the first time. Good luck, pubbanana
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A really nice story, I like the details you share.
Congratulations!
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Very nice story, easily the best blog I have read here on TL. Best of luck to you and Marie.
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At 1/4 length I already knew I would give 5/5 but wasn't too sure about adding another one liner post to a spotlighted 13 page long thread... I just didn't realize you both are enjoying the comments and at 1/2 length I knew I would have to write my appreciation for the way you write :D great great stuff here man and definitely share more stories!
Stay in good health, both of you! And I wish you all the best things!
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Astoundingly written and incredibly heartfelt. A real treat to get to read.
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Good luck, hope everything goes well!
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You gave me some much needed hope. You have my heartfelt support, best of wishes to you, Marie and your new child.
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This is a beautiful blog. I enjoyed your story and story-telling. Good luck with your future dude, I'm sure you'll make it a great one!
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great blog.. congrats i guess...
i'll die if i am ever a father..
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3861 Posts
This story was so well written! Congrats!
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Still one of the best blogs I've read, made me tear up. Pubbanana I hope you're doing well in life with your family, thanks for sharing this story. It's been an emotional few days in the eSports landscape...this story doesn't fail in making me smile. I hope everyone is well out there.
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EPT
