EPTBecoming unsocial - Page 3
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Azera
3800 Posts
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meteorskunk
Canada546 Posts
The way i see it, minds have obsessions that excite them. Some are less excitable generally, but most are just excited a lot by what excites them. You may not have the same i nterests as another, but passion is universally interesting. If you can get yourself excited and help others get excited thats the main point. We are trying to prod eachother for fun emotions,not get a nobel prize when we socialize. If people don'tknow what you're talking about with hitler or w/e, explain it to them so they can understand. Make a more general situation that is like the one that interests you. You'll be surprised by how talented some of the so called "uninteresting people" are when you enable their participation. Like others have said, you just gotta rough it through for other people sometime. Sometimes i really don't care about this sweet gun my friend found in borderlands 2 but i care about him so i put the effort to let him express his p assion | ||
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Tommie
China658 Posts
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Demonhunter04
1530 Posts
On November 01 2012 20:01 heyoka wrote: This has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with how people present themselves. This kind of "oh people dumber than me aren't willing to listen" attitude is born out of people who are full of themselves trying to rationalize why people call them out of their shit. I agree it has a lot to do with attitude, but it's not necessarily because of people "calling you out of your shit". (Not completely sure what you mean by that, sorry -_-). Beyond a certain point (estimated at around 3 SD in IQ from the norm) it becomes difficult to communicate with the average person because the expected flow of conversation (the speed more so than the subject) is significantly different on either side. The intelligent person will "skip steps" as when solving a familiar math problem, while the average person skips fewer steps in the logical chain or gets stuck, and so the parties engaged in conversation become confused or frustrated and communication breaks down. Going through life having to explain things repeatedly to people, despite learning how to communicate effectively, is quite a drag. It trains you to become very patient, but there just come points past which you stop being interested in socializing. A person like this doesn't need to be shy or antisocial for any other reason; this alone can do it. The attitude that results of not wanting to socialize or of thinking you are superior certainly does turn people away, so it has to be concealed permanently. So now you're not only averse to socializing, you conceal a part of your personality and suppress the negative emotions associated with it. Obviously, this is a big issue. If, say, your IQ is 160 (4 SD from the norm) you have difficulty communicating with those below roughly 115 IQ, which precludes 84% of the population. A person like this needs to find a small group of people who he can communicate well with, and that's unfeasible without the internet. Only one out of 30,000 people has an IQ of 160 or higher, for example, so people will typically only ever meet 0-3 such people in person in their entire lives, and due to circumstances of their meeting, they may never even know it. | ||
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sam!zdat
United States5559 Posts
On November 01 2012 20:01 heyoka wrote: Given that you apparently have a wife and daughter I'd think your priorities would have shifted a long time ago to more practical things. This kind of "oh people dumber than me aren't willing to listen" attitude is born out of people who are full of themselves trying to rationalize why people call them out of their shit. Seriously? I don't see why he should resign himself to a life of quotidiana just because he has a family. And most people in the world are pretty legitimately not interested in having the kinds of conversations this dude seems to want to have. I think your response is totally unfair. edit: On November 01 2012 19:07 hypercube wrote: The world has always been non-intellectual. Of course if you compare the intellectual elite of the past to the average person now the past looks rosy. But I doubt the average pub conversation in a working class neighbourhood 100 years ago was very deep either. Yes, I understand, but being an intellectual has lost a lot of its cachet even among the upper classes, compared to previous epochs. The overall tenor of society has become much more contemptuous of literacy in general. | ||
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Motiva
United States1774 Posts
I think demonhunter hit it on the head as well. Most definitely. | ||
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MassHysteria
United States3678 Posts
On November 01 2012 15:42 xenogis wrote:+ Show Spoiler + Hey friend I've felt similar sometimes. Don't be discouraged, some people are afraid to have heavy conversations. Even people who are willing to discuss things deeper than pop culture and small talk many times don't have the values or insight to say anything interesting. You say you only enjoy talking to elders. I think that you have to be careful about feelings like that. I am an 18 year old American and I commonly discuss topics such as philosophy, socioeconomics, and ethics with my friends and family. Much wisdom comes from older men and women, it cannot be denied. Young people are not generally as matured and learned but they'll never improve if they don't have guidance. In my daily life I see that the average person only appears to care about petty things. They work unfulfilling jobs, spend their money on entertainment with little value. Even the religious folk don't seem to actually grasp meaning behind the words they speak. It is important to not be pessimistic about people. If you can get someone excited about something important, you've done a good thing for the world. People like you and I are not outcasts, we are intellectuals. Something I believe in is loving every person equally. Being kind and generous can build a bridge to someones mind that allows you to plant the seeds of thought. Show compassion to those who have small minds and lead them in the right direction. I think you will feel more joyful about someone when you see them learn from you. On November 02 2012 02:56 Demonhunter04 wrote: + Show Spoiler + On November 01 2012 20:01 heyoka wrote: This has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with how people present themselves. This kind of "oh people dumber than me aren't willing to listen" attitude is born out of people who are full of themselves trying to rationalize why people call them out of their shit. I agree it has a lot to do with attitude, but it's not necessarily because of people "calling you out of your shit". (Not completely sure what you mean by that, sorry -_-). Beyond a certain point (estimated at around 3 SD in IQ from the norm) it becomes difficult to communicate with the average person because the expected flow of conversation (the speed more so than the subject) is significantly different on either side. The intelligent person will "skip steps" as when solving a familiar math problem, while the average person skips fewer steps in the logical chain or gets stuck, and so the parties engaged in conversation become confused or frustrated and communication breaks down. Going through life having to explain things repeatedly to people, despite learning how to communicate effectively, is quite a drag. It trains you to become very patient, but there just come points past which you stop being interested in socializing. A person like this doesn't need to be shy or antisocial for any other reason; this alone can do it. The attitude that results of not wanting to socialize or of thinking you are superior certainly does turn people away, so it has to be concealed permanently. So now you're not only averse to socializing, you conceal a part of your personality and suppress the negative emotions associated with it. Obviously, this is a big issue. If, say, your IQ is 160 (4 SD from the norm) you have difficulty communicating with those below roughly 115 IQ, which precludes 84% of the population. A person like this needs to find a small group of people who he can communicate well with, and that's unfeasible without the internet. Only one out of 30,000 people has an IQ of 160 or higher, for example, so people will typically only ever meet 0-3 such people in person in their entire lives, and due to circumstances of their meeting, they may never even know it. Nice posts. | ||
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Recognizable
Netherlands1552 Posts
On November 02 2012 02:56 Demonhunter04 wrote: I agree it has a lot to do with attitude, but it's not necessarily because of people "calling you out of your shit". (Not completely sure what you mean by that, sorry -_-). Beyond a certain point (estimated at around 3 SD in IQ from the norm) it becomes difficult to communicate with the average person because the expected flow of conversation (the speed more so than the subject) is significantly different on either side. The intelligent person will "skip steps" as when solving a familiar math problem, while the average person skips fewer steps in the logical chain or gets stuck, and so the parties engaged in conversation become confused or frustrated and communication breaks down. Going through life having to explain things repeatedly to people, despite learning how to communicate effectively, is quite a drag. It trains you to become very patient, but there just come points past which you stop being interested in socializing. A person like this doesn't need to be shy or antisocial for any other reason; this alone can do it. The attitude that results of not wanting to socialize or of thinking you are superior certainly does turn people away, so it has to be concealed permanently. So now you're not only averse to socializing, you conceal a part of your personality and suppress the negative emotions associated with it. Obviously, this is a big issue. If, say, your IQ is 160 (4 SD from the norm) you have difficulty communicating with those below roughly 115 IQ, which precludes 84% of the population. A person like this needs to find a small group of people who he can communicate well with, and that's unfeasible without the internet. Only one out of 30,000 people has an IQ of 160 or higher, for example, so people will typically only ever meet 0-3 such people in person in their entire lives, and due to circumstances of their meeting, they may never even know it. I don´t think OP is such a person. He just wants to have ´´intelligent´´ ´´discussions´´. He doesn´t have difficulty communicating with ´lesser´´ mortals he just doesn´t like the talking points ´´they´´ talk about. Other than that, I agree with your post. | ||
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cLAN.Anax
United States2847 Posts
Granted, that change in interest goes both ways. As much as younger folk find new things to "talk" about, so do older people. You've moved on to profound philosophical and political discourses, whereas younger citizens gear towards superficial movie stars and sports results. | ||
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MountainDewJunkie
United States10341 Posts
Being anti-social is pretty easy. If I have the urge to hear myself talk, I have TL and my fiancé and the small handful of people I consider trustworthy. Risk averse! Those are my reasons. But you just sound a little pretentious. You're a dime a dozen, man. We all are. | ||
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Chef
10810 Posts
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bokeevboke
Singapore1674 Posts
I appreciate that many of you understand and share same feelings. No wonder I hang out in TL too much. Its only place I can discuss matters that I'm interested in. But enough flattering ourselves. I'm pretty sure being antisocial is some sort of disorder, many people who are interested in deep stuff (scientists, artists, politicians, analytic people) are actually good at talking to anybody (kids, elders, youngsters), and they could talk about anything. That makes me think that I should broaden my interests and be more relaxed, simpler sometimes. I gotta stop overloading my brain and getting 'too much into'. Or else, I'm risking to fall into category of those 'weirdos' who make strange humour and comments  | ||
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sam!zdat
United States5559 Posts
edit: don't take life advice from me | ||
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Itsmedudeman
United States19229 Posts
If you have a particular interest but don't have people around you in your social circle who share them, then go look for them. TL is a good example of that and how you've done something similar already, but the difference is you just need to apply it to real life. | ||
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bokeevboke
Singapore1674 Posts
I think I'm doing well getting back to socialization, I have to practice, coz obviously i can't do it naturally. | ||
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MassHysteria
United States3678 Posts
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hypercube
Hungary2735 Posts
On November 02 2012 03:05 sam!zdat wrote: Yes, I understand, but being an intellectual has lost a lot of its cachet even among the upper classes, compared to previous epochs. The overall tenor of society has become much more contemptuous of literacy in general. I honestly don't see it. Even ignoring the fact that 95% of what passed as intellectualism 300 years was basically shit, science, philosophy and arts was never really central to the life of any social class. The only true exception is parts of Ancient Greece and a short period at the height of the Enlightenment. A lot of the so called "intellectualism" of the elites of the Renaissance was much more about prestige and power than any real appriciation of the content itself. | ||
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sam!zdat
United States5559 Posts
On November 02 2012 17:03 hypercube wrote: I honestly don't see it. Even ignoring the fact that 95% of what passed as intellectualism 300 years was basically shit, I feel like this just demonstrates your ignorance. science, philosophy and arts was never really central to the life of any social class. The only true exception is parts of Ancient Greece and a short period at the height of the Enlightenment. It's not about centrality to the life of a social class, it's about its place in the cultural imaginary. At least in America, intellectuals are actively derided. Things may be different in Hungary. | ||
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Recognizable
Netherlands1552 Posts
On November 02 2012 03:05 sam!zdat wrote: Seriously? I don't see why he should resign himself to a life of quotidiana just because he has a family. And most people in the world are pretty legitimately not interested in having the kinds of conversations this dude seems to want to have. I think your response is totally unfair. edit: Yes, I understand, but being an intellectual has lost a lot of its cachet even among the upper classes, compared to previous epochs. The overall tenor of society has become much more contemptuous of literacy in general. http://www.collisiondetection.net/mt/archives/2006/04/study_using_big.php Where ''normal'' words suffice, use them. Words have their own nuances in language and you should only use a ''big'' word when that particular word conveys the message better than the alternative ''small'' word. Because otherwise you just look like a tool. | ||
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