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Alas, after giving many other blogs information about how to deal with breakups and saying what needed to be said, My girlfriend and I just broke up :/ We were going out for about a year and a half which I know isn't an insane amount of time, but still enough to the point where it really stings. We were great friends for about a year before we started going out which makes this even more hurtful.
She decided that she has changed a lot since we first started going out. I do agree with this and even though I understand how she just can't explain how she feels but knows she's changed, I do feel jipped out of a reasonable explanation. All I can say is that I'm in shock at the moment and know I will get over it, but I just don't want to... She really was an amazing person and her family was incredible as well which makes it hard knowing that I will also lose some good friends. This is something that will surely take time to heal but I just felt after all the girl blogs i've seen on TL that I needed to vent about it.
She's a year younger than me and is a Senior in high school. I'm going to a community college by my house this year so the big thing was "What's going to happen to us when you go off to college next year?" because she wanted to go to a college away from home after high school.
I'm not sure why these paragraphs are the way they are and why they're spaced this way lol, but I thought some of you might be able to give me some encouraging words! I know I will get over it, I don't need to hear that because I know time will pass, but anything encouraging or advice you have, toss it my way 
I loved this girl very much and we decided to stay friends and to take a break from talking for about 5 days (she's going on a camping trip tomorrow through the weekend) but it had to come to an end. I will take this one step at a time and hopefully with some loving people in my life helping me along, I will be just ok before I know it.
Thanks for listening to my whining, you're all amazing :D
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Good thing Starcraft 2 exists!
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I'm going to say something that you might not understand right now.
You might not understand it until a couple months or maybe years down the line.
Relationships in high school don't really matter ever.
You'll go to college and see girls who are 10x more attractive, or have 10x better something else.
Then a few years later you'll laugh at this blog 
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It's a hard thing to go through, Lubu. There are no easy answers. The only thing that will help you is time. Lots of time.
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On September 27 2012 13:01 EffervescentAureola wrote:I'm going to say something that you might not understand right now. You might not understand it until a couple months or maybe years down the line. Relationships in high school don't really matter ever. You'll go to college and see girls who are 10x more attractive, or have 10x better something else. Then a few years later you'll laugh at this blog
This has yet to hold true for me (and I'm a fourth-year in college).
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These things have to happen, and it seems like you are in that (common) state where you keep focusing on what you've lost, and not really the opportunity you have gained for the future. I guess that would be my first piece of advice, stop thinking about how "great" you think she is/was (she may have been, but probably isn't nearly as objectively "great" as your perception of her right now), and start thinking about all the possible opportunities you have with different girls in the future. This will take a little while, but the big thing is stop dwelling on her and the past. That's important.
Related to that, keep as busy as you can. Try to avoid situations where you are just left alone with your thoughts for extended periods of time, as they will inevitably wander back to her. Like you said, it takes a little time to get over, and it is much better to pass that time not focusing on the issue that is hurting you (but you can't do anything about) and focusing on... anything else really.
Hope that helps.
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On September 27 2012 13:21 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On September 27 2012 13:01 EffervescentAureola wrote:I'm going to say something that you might not understand right now. You might not understand it until a couple months or maybe years down the line. Relationships in high school don't really matter ever. You'll go to college and see girls who are 10x more attractive, or have 10x better something else. Then a few years later you'll laugh at this blog This has yet to hold true for me (and I'm a fourth-year in college).
Seconded. I'm still with my girl from high school and I'm a fourth year in college too. [No, we don't go to the same university]
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Human beings like the future, whatever you do, when talking to her, don't reminisce on how great the past was.
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There's a book called "Mars and Venus Starting Over" by John Gray and it's about how to deal with the loss of a loved one, including a break up. If you can find this book at a local library I would highly recommend it.
Part of the book is about four emotions we need to feel to get over a break up. These emotions are anger, fear, sorrow, sadness. Anger at what has happened and possibly at our ex. Fear of never finding love again or feeling loved again. Sorrow over what we have lost. And sadness that we won't have the happy times we were expecting to have. In order to get over our loss, we need to feel all four of these emotions multiple times over a long period of time. If we don't, we can get stuck in our pain.
That's a condensed version. Again, I would highly recommend finding the book.
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TLADT24366 Posts
Just hang in there and keep yourself busy. Yes, it will very difficult and will take time but you will eventually get over it. Forget about the past as hard as it is and look forward to the future. GL!
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I loved this girl very much and we decided to stay friends and to take a break from talking for about 5 days (she's going on a camping trip tomorrow through the weekend) but it had to come to an end.
Don't fall into the trap of "being there for her" after that period while still having feelings for her. You have no obligation to be her best friend from now on. Being selfish until the point when you're already chasing other skirts is completely fine. Your first and primary job is to look out for your own emotional health now, not hers.
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On September 27 2012 12:54 lubu42 wrote:
I loved this girl very much and we decided to stay friends and to take a break from talking for about 5 days (she's going on a camping trip tomorrow through the weekend) but it had to come to an end. I will take this one step at a time and hopefully with some loving people in my life helping me along, I will be just ok before I know it.
Thanks for listening to my whining, you're all amazing :D
you're welcome. I love to listen to pain. It makes me feel less unique. Rejoicing in other loved ones whilst remembering that the sorrow is passing in time. great!
So I'm going to give my mind's opinion. I highly advise you not to take anything I say too seriously because frankly, I don't know much about dating. This is more of an exercise that i enjoy.
- the 5 day break. For me the no talkign rule has been sooo important. I think five days is too short because the reason the "no talking to her" method works for me is because it takes them out of the loop of people that you often think about. Not talking to them means they intrude less of your thoughts. Some time to put things in perspective without having the person dominating your thoughts rules.
-You seem to kind of know this but... I find once i have faced more breaks ups im like a saiyan. I just keep getting back up less afraid of rejection and discomfort and oh man.. its fun once you reawaken to all the other beauty around you~~
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EPT
