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Decided to stop thinking up clever names about the topic of my blogs and just call a spade a spade. I've been using these blogs as therapy for my breakup. For anyone just starting to read now, let me sum things up:
6 months ago i started cheating on my girlfriend with her roommate because i developed feelings for the roommate and the roommate was encouraging me i also felt really isolated from my girlfriend at the time.
Roommate makes comments that leads me to believe she wants to be with me in a relationship
roommate keeps a boyfriend secret from me for a week or two, i find out, make bad decision to break up with my girlfriend (our only issue besides the affair was a lack of communication, we didn't talk through out issues anymore, easily fixed).
Girlfriend finds new guy couple weeks later after our 4 year relationship says she wants to be friends "always" roommate says similar thing.
Both girls cease all contact with me.
ex girlfriend tells me about her new boyfriend, i tell her about the affair.
ex girlfriend and her roommate still friends still roommates everything is great for them, i'm left confused heartbroken and angry at myself for trusting too much.
Takes me months to get out of my apartment from the loss.
The biggest issue i have now is all the sacrifices i made for my girlfriend (and her roommate) are coming back to bite me in the ass. I sacrificed my college scholarship for my girlfriend, sacrificed time with my family before they moved to Rhode island from florida for them both, sacrificed a few friendships for my girlfriend. and sacrificed my girlfriend for her roommate, and now I have absolutely nothing. I can't bring myself to ask my parents for money so I'm trying to pull everything together myself in secret which just adds more stress.
Now that you are caught up, I've been writing blogs about this to help myself through. I'm still in love with my ex girlfriend, still have feelings for her roommate, still don't have contact with either. My life has been gym, friends, games, everything I can do to try to keep my mind off the situation. It doesn't work.
Anyway, right now I'm in rhode island for a couple weeks until my lease begins on my new apartment north of the UCF campus for the next year. I'm excited to meet new roommates and people, excited to get back to the UCF gym which is incredible every week, excited about turning things around. But i always long to have my relationship back. I hate being alone like this and i know I'm in no shape to just go pick up girls for sex right now, and i know i'm not relationship material in my current emotional state so i don't see myself not being alone for a while now.
To make things worse all this stress and pain caught up with me during an argument over a beer pong game with my friends, I threw a ball in anger and pretty much ruined the game (which we were dominating) because I was mad that they were adamant that I had made only 1 shot and not the two I had made (my partner making 3 or 4). a completely unnecessary argument that i've apologized for but I dunno whats up with them since I left the state since then. I dunno. I'm feeling more and more alone as time goes on and this stress has started affecting my friendships and god damn I'm tired of this.
So, thanks for being my therapy Teamliquid members. I'll buy any of you a beer if you ever come to Orlando and let me know you are there two beers if you happen to be staff or a liquipedia contributor. I owe you guys at least that.
-Aaron
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When I come to orlando, you owe me a beer hahahahaha, also, Aaron, despite the mistake of cheating, you seem like a great guy. If I were 21, I'd buy you a beer, you deserve it. Remember, you are a good person, you made a mistake but you can now right that wrong, get your life together, get a great job, get a better girl that you will love unconditionally, and travel the world till you feel like settling down. Live life, live it up dude.
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Yeah definitely, and you guys can hold me to that buy a beer comment i mean it.
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49 Posts
I didn't noticed ur blog until now. But I think it's rather interessting. I also was in a relationship for 2 years, then my boyfriend started behaving like a stupid idiot. But that doesn't matter now, I just wanna make you notice,that I understand you. Whatever. It's really good that u handle your feelings with a blog. That's one of the most effective things.
Maybe it sounds stupid,but have you ever tried writing her a simple sms with the words "I miss you" or something like this? If she doesn't hate you for real, she'll think about it.
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On August 07 2012 06:04 Xhiwi wrote:
I didn't noticed ur blog until now. But I think it's rather interessting. I also was in a relationship for 2 years, then my boyfriend started behaving like a stupid idiot. But that doesn't matter now, I just wanna make you notice,that I understand you. Whatever. It's really good that u handle your feelings with a blog. That's one of the most effective things.
Maybe it sounds stupid,but have you ever tried writing her a simple sms with the words "I miss you" or something like this? If she doesn't hate you for real, she'll think about it.
If i kept her phone number i might have. i deleted it because i knew i was going to go drink with friends that night and i didn't want anything to be said to her.
I know she doesn't hate me, she probably still loves me knowing her. but shes really loyal, so she won't want to be with me right now, shes still roommates with the girl i had feelings for besides her, and shes dating someone, she won't take me back any time soon. ty for the message. <3
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49 Posts
Oh come on. It might sounds very kitchy but you need fighting for her (Just if you really want her). You are way too negative of course she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore when you're like this. You should try this, really.
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Well, if i get back together with her i'd want to marry her eventually. I'm really not ready for that just yet so i'm content to let it go. I mean i know it's unreasonable. but it's me.
I know being with her would make me very happy, but i don't know if it's right for me in the long run to try to start the relationship back up right away.
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49 Posts
Is there ANYTHING you loose, when you're fighting for her? Even if she says no, at least you've tried getting her back.
Just do it, really. Don't think so much about this. If you could even imagine marrying her, you need to try this. :/
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if i do it will you stop making me feel guilty T_T.
fine i did it. lol
"Hey, I miss you. How is Kit Kat?" is what i sent her lol btw that is her cat's name
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49 Posts
You are guilty until you've tried getting her back.
Nice. I'm proud of you ;D
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well hope it goes well :/
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49 Posts
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No answer. 
and now i feel like shit again.
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EPT
