EPTGoofy Backstory
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In late 2012 HOTS was released. In 2015, LOV followed. These expansions (combined with the revelation that Justin Bieber was a Grandmaster Zerg) catapulted SC2 into the mainstream.
MTV turned into a dedicated SC2 channel (no actual games were shown, but "The Real World: EG's Lair," "16 and Progamer," and "Snookie & Stephano" became huge hits). Skip Bayless spent hours eviscerating Naniwa for his inability to win a GSL championship. And perhaps most notably, Day[9] received the Nobel Peace Prize for his zany July 19, 2016 Funday Monday edict: "Let South Korean Humanitarian Aid Cross the Demilitarized Zone into North Korea Without Shooting!!!" SC2 was huge.
In 2020 America was attacked. Mexico and Canada had been conspiring for years. Mexico's drug war and Canada's pleasantness were simply smokescreeens to distract America from the incoming pincer. Led by President Marco Rubio and Vice President Ricky Rubio America fought bravely. In 2025, the tides of war appeared to be turning. But in 2026 the Canadians unleashed a new weapon which ravaged America: they poisoned words.
For a more detailed explanation of this phenomenon, please see the documentary "PontyPool" available for Instant Viewing on Netflix.
So the year is 2032. You and the remnants of the United States Military are entrenched in the small town of Belmont North Carolina. Because SC2 was so popular, the user interface for the entirety of the leftover weapons arsenal have been designed to perfectly mirror that of SC2.
You are a Drill Sergeant. Your goal is to teach all the new recruits streaming in how to use those weapons -- in essence teach them how to play SC2. But remember, the "MexiCanadians" have poisoned words. So, you've been allotted three sentences to teach the recruits as much possible.
Instructions: Write a three sentence SC2 guide. One line in the posting window counts as a sentence. Your goal in writing this guide is to make the reader improve as fast possible.
Here's an example (and my guide):
1) Play as many games as possible, with as little downtime between each game as possible.
2) Play each game with the goal of multitasking as much as possible (3+ bases and harass).
3) Don't get too happy when you win, or too unhappy when you lose.
