Hi, I don't know how old you are, but I was married young, at around 24 or so. After my divource, I felt a lot like you. At the time, I could have never immagined my life without her.

But sometimes things are for the best.

What you need to do right now is give the whole situation some time. Whatever happens to you, whether you stay broken up or not, know that you will be OKAY.

Thats right, if you break up for good, it is going to suck. A lot. But the good news is, you will be ok, eventually. You will get the opportunity to work through a very difficult time, and you will become a stronger man because of it.

You will be ok.

No matter what.

BisuDagger

Bisutopia19316 Posts

July 13 2012 18:58 GMT

If she is going through a lot sometimes the best thing to do is give her space. It's really hard to process your feelings about someone when they are constantly around you. If she still has feelings for you then she will come back to you. Even if you spend weeks/months apart and she wants you back in the end then you haven't lost much time. Just take this opportunity to focus on yourself and do things you usually don't because you had a girlfriend. I went through a similar situation. Just let her make up her mind without you around. I learned pushing someone to see your side only pushes them away and reinforces their decision to leave.

How old are you btw? In your twenties this is just a process people go through in life. Even though it sucks and you may seem to know what's right from wrong and she doesn't, everything will turn out the way it's supposed to be. Just be faithful and let everything run its course.

ScaryOlive

Canada121 Posts

July 13 2012 21:02 GMT

Thanks a lot guys.

I'm 22 and she's 21.
We know each other since we were 14 and have always been near each other.

I try to do things to change my mind but I feel as if i've lost interest in everything.
Can't play any games (not even SC), don't want to see friends, movies seems boring...
All I do is think about it.

I feel like my life is being ripped of me and that it's all a mistake.

edit: typo

Ahzz

Finland780 Posts

July 13 2012 22:33 GMT

On July 14 2012 06:02 ScaryOlive wrote:
Thanks a lot guys.

I'm 22 and she's 21.
We know each other since we were 14 and have always been near each other.

I try to do things to change my mind but I feel as if i've lost interest in everything.
Can't play any games (not even SC), don't want to see friends, movies seems boring...
All I do is think about it.

I feel like my life is being ripped of me and that it's all a mistake.

edit: typo

All the symptoms you mention are a natural part of it, and in your situation pretty much unavoidable. Time heals all wounds though, believe it or not. Just try to have a positive attitude and do whatever activities you can to keep your mind off of it from time to time, even if 'you don't feel like it'. What you must know is that this is not your fault, and you cannot blame yourself. You probably could not have 'done things different'. It was out of your hands. She doesn't know why she stopped liking you, and like you said, she does have some levels of mental illness.

Don't lose hope, but be prepared for it if this doesn't get resolved. You will be fine in the end.

docvoc

United States5491 Posts

July 13 2012 23:55 GMT

Very natural stuff dude, she has been yours so you are going to feel whiplash from her pulling away. HOWEVER, she seemed, and still does seem like damaged goods, she isn't someone you want to be dating till she gets her life together. You need to be away from dating for a bit, find a hobby for maybe a year or so and then get back in the ring to find a girl, but give yourself time and maybe go on a few dates but don't be too serious so you can give yourself time.

ScaryOlive

Canada121 Posts

July 14 2012 02:30 GMT

I know that time will make things better, but right now seconds takes hours.
I've also always have problems with breakups, for I have waited 6 years for a girl after she left me (from 14 to 20) and only when I fell in love with my current ex girlfriend did I forget her. I'm scared that this will happen again...

Ahzz

Finland780 Posts

July 14 2012 07:37 GMT

On July 14 2012 11:30 ScaryOlive wrote:
I know that time will make things better, but right now seconds takes hours.
I've also always have problems with breakups, for I have waited 6 years for a girl after she left me (from 14 to 20) and only when I fell in love with my current ex girlfriend did I forget her. I'm scared that this will happen again...

Of course you will end up comparing girls to your previous girlfriends. If they seem 'even worse', then of course you naturally wouldn't want to date them because it probably wont work out. You seem like a dude who looks for a relatively serious relationship. There's nothing wrong with that, and it is only natural that you won't find another girl easily, because you want her to be better. This is how I see it at least. Remember that there is nothing wrong with being single for a while.

ScaryOlive

Canada121 Posts

July 14 2012 18:11 GMT

#10

On July 14 2012 16:37 Ahzz wrote:

Show nested quote +

Right now i'm not thinking about a new relationship, i'm thinking about moving on and be able to live on my own.
Before I moved with her I lived with my parents and sisters. It was my first experience in a appartment and with my girlfriend it felt so right and felt like I was still with my family.

I can't think of living in a house with someone that dosent really care for me and that I don't care for him.

I'm really scared right now of the future and it really hurts me to see my ex seemingly Ok with all that situation and looking like
it's really nothing after our 2 years toghter. I feel so betrayed and alone now.

dracomanm

Netherlands60 Posts

July 14 2012 18:19 GMT

#11

Having gone trough something similar (breaking up after living together for a year and a half in a two and a half year relationship at the age of 21) I can sort of relate to where you stand in life right now, and the talk about how it will eventually get better is kind of lost on you, so I will spare you that, though there will probably be enough people on TL to do that still.

What I'd like to give you however, is some more practical advice to get trough this, so that when the time comes to either move on or get back together you won't be as deep in that dark pit of despair as you are now.
1) Make sure you keep getting exercise, healthy food and water intake, sunlight and fresh air. When dealing with these kinds of things it's pretty hard not to forget about these things, but if you skimp on them you will feel all the worse for it. And I know that going to the park on a sunny day might be the last thing you'd enjoy right now, but a long walk in the rain will still be pretty good for you.
2) Keep to some kind of schedule, especially sleeping. A messed up sleeping schedule will tire you out like no tomorrow, and will make you feel even more terrible
3) Have something to do, work, school, hobby's etcetera. Keep yourself functioning, last thing you need on top of a depression is even more trouble. And of course you'll need some time to at least function again, but don't go hermit yourself
4) Keep in touch with friends/family, they can and will help you.

*big hug of sympathy*

ScaryOlive

Canada121 Posts

July 14 2012 20:27 GMT

#12

On July 15 2012 03:19 dracomanm wrote:
Having gone trough something similar (breaking up after living together for a year and a half in a two and a half year relationship at the age of 21) I can sort of relate to where you stand in life right now, and the talk about how it will eventually get better is kind of lost on you, so I will spare you that, though there will probably be enough people on TL to do that still.

What I'd like to give you however, is some more practical advice to get trough this, so that when the time comes to either move on or get back together you won't be as deep in that dark pit of despair as you are now.
1) Make sure you keep getting exercise, healthy food and water intake, sunlight and fresh air. When dealing with these kinds of things it's pretty hard not to forget about these things, but if you skimp on them you will feel all the worse for it. And I know that going to the park on a sunny day might be the last thing you'd enjoy right now, but a long walk in the rain will still be pretty good for you.
2) Keep to some kind of schedule, especially sleeping. A messed up sleeping schedule will tire you out like no tomorrow, and will make you feel even more terrible
3) Have something to do, work, school, hobby's etcetera. Keep yourself functioning, last thing you need on top of a depression is even more trouble. And of course you'll need some time to at least function again, but don't go hermit yourself
4) Keep in touch with friends/family, they can and will help you.

*big hug of sympathy*

Thank You, It is true that right now i'm skipping meals a lot. I just don't feel like eating.
But it's great a have a lot of support from my family and friends are calling to check on me so that I keep being healthy.

I just booked a meeting with a psychologist of my own as friends recommanded me to do, it's worth trying.