Its summer and there's so many different thoughts running through my mind at different times. Why am I downstairs alone in the dark instead of sleeping in my room? Why do I feel so free to do absolutely nothing, and yet so constrained by the things I know I should be doing?
I should be running, I have a half marathon to prepare for in September and I don't even think I have the time to train for it, with 2 months left and 0 conditioning. I should be reading: I've heard in college, there's really very little free time to read so you have to make a queue of books you plan to read in the future, and now that its before college, I should be finishing it up.
Started right now: Rynd's Atlas Shrugged, Milton's Paradise Lost, Austen's Pride and Prejudice. In the queue, Larsson, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five; Orwell, Animal Farm; Stevenson, Treasure Island.
All very doable in my 6 weeks left, yet I'm put off by the idea of annotating. Its so annoying to stop reading and write down my thoughts, and the solution I've devised - typing them in my OneNote journal, still forces me to stop reading. At the same time, I don't want to forget what I'm thinking while trying to experience the books. I want to write it all down, somewhere, but it makes me not want to read. Maybe I should start recording myself via audio.
That's another problem: recording. I love records of things. I have AIM logs from my first times using that program, I have papers from middle school, even though I'll never look at them again. I think the reason for this is because, well, I don't want to forget they happened. So much happens that your mind just forgets most of it, and I want to have a collection of something to make sure I KNOW it has happened.
Here's the focused problem I'm having: there's so many things I want to focus on to better myself (the things listed above are just some examples that are very relevant, a few more are that I want to pick up sewing because it'd be really cool to trim down an old pair of jeans i have into something wearable, and that I want to work on my passive mindset by going after whatever opportunities I see, not withholding girl blog type shit).
The most important thing is for me to study, because that's the most direct way of bettering myself. I have a goal, I have a vision for a me I see in the future, and that's the most direct way of getting to it. But I do have to do the other things too. The problem with that is that I want to ONLY study and remove all my other responsibilities to other people, and only work on myself. That's my justification of moving away for college, and I know that's flawed.
I should really just be enjoying myself. I am, kinda. I've been staying up for GSL, sleeping at 5-7AM and not waking up till late into the afternoon. I've been watching Arrested Development, soon I'll finish Firefly and start Parks and Recreation on Netflix. I went out with friends a lot last week, and this week is kinda dull but hopefully it picks up again.
I digress; that's not a very focused problem. But in a very meta way, it is the problem. I'm looking for a solution that's GIVEN to me, when I should be finding this solution out for myself. That's how I better myself, but I can't seem to...do.
Maybe writing all this out is helping me. Maybe the solution is, as Nike puts it, "just fucking do it." The "fucking" isn't officially there but it certainly does help in expressing the emotion.
On a side note, I got my college schedule and I'm very excited. Not sure how it'll all work out, with my major and my desire to follow a childhood dream and minor in astronomy.
Thanks for reading, if you did, and for clicking, if you're reading this. Have some amazing music.
if you want to get shit done, eliminiate distractions, and make nice bullet point lists where you cross off stuff you have done. Bullet points should be tanglibe - 'read 2 chapters of atlas shrugged'.
two months for a half marathon is easy-peasy. and I'd not give a hoot what other people have to say about college. most 'other' people are stupid
My problem's not getting things done, I wouldn't be a bio major otherwise . My problem is whether I want to or whether I should, or some other angsty shit really similar to that. Thanks regardless, (and I don't know how to say that without making it seem like I'm disregarding what you're telling me, cause I'm not at all).
Spacing was great, make it easier to read definitely.
Unfortunately I have no solution to offer, but I enjoyed just reading that you seem to know what you must do yourself (i.e. solution is for you to find the solution to it yourself), so good luck. I know the feeling very well--you have so much to do but at the same time it's like you're bored with nothing to do. Still haven't overcome it myself, huge pile of work to get to but I'm literally just bored. Happened to me in high school when I had all those SAT/AP exams coming up lol.
Definitely try to get to that book list. Depending on what type of road you take and how you just go through college in general, usually you won't have much time for reading at all, what with homework, finals, lectures, jobs, internships, chilling with or making friends, going on trips, studying, games, TL, and many more things >.<
If you want to talk about motivation and doing work throughout college/university, you need only to talk to me. In my first year I watched 109 episodes of a single TV show in just 9 days. I've had all manner of distractions: from girls, to partying, to girlfriends, to video games, to 10:30pm Spicy Chicken Wrap runs. I've watched my fair share of TV too, and through it all I pulled off a Mechanical Engineering degree and carved out a pretty good life for myself. I've had setbacks, but I never failed, or knocked a girl up, or lost to alcoholism or drug addiction.There is a way to get it all done and focus, I can assure you, and if you want my help just ask. I could type for hours if I wasn't so busy, but a question here and there I can handle.
As for writing down your thoughts as you're reading - I can't say that I have ever done that. Not on first read through. Usually not on second read through. And practically never, at all. It just doesn't make sense to me - and as you notice, it can interrupt the flow of the story in the book. Why do people do that? Is it something you'll look back at later, during a re-read? Will you look at them again? What is the purpose of pulling yourself out of the story to say "I think Orwell is making fun of bankers and politicians here"? (I dunno. I've been reading non-stop since I can remember, and the only book outside of school assignments that has markings (neither do most of the ones I read for school) in it is Stranger in a Strange Land - which I practically have memorized anyway.)
I also understand the recording things bit - I have instant messaging software set to "record" and have chat logs going back into 2000 (probably older ones on a CD somewhere) although I never am sure why - sometimes it's interesting to go back and read them, as it does jog the memory and show that things have changed a lot since then. (And some of it is hilarious. I was seriously insane back then. Some of it is depressing, people I miss and who have moved on. Y'know. Girl blog type shit.)
Finish Firefly. Do it. Serenity is good for the soul.
Good luck at college - although how you'll spend hours memorizing reactions, compounds, and the like, and still have time to stare up at the stars, I dunno. Interesting blog.
On July 13 2012 16:38 Juliette wrote: Why do I feel so free to do absolutely nothing, and yet so constrained by the things I know I should be doing?
God I know that feeling, its kinda horrible, and yet I am stilling basically doing nothing. Even just posting this and going in TL in general feeds into it.
Not to sure on the Frank Ocean, but you like Kanye West and Arrested Development, so we can be friends ^_^
I hadn't heard New God Flow, I like it, and the song it samples I adore, Mighty Healthy, even if the video is goofy
I have the same problem in the summers, theres a ton of things that I want to do. But what usually happens is I end up playing video games. Take this summer for example, Once the semester ended, I hung out with friends and beat like 3 games on my ps3. Then the summer semester started and I suddenly got really busy.
On July 13 2012 23:14 TheGiz wrote: If you want to talk about motivation and doing work throughout college/university, you need only to talk to me. In my first year I watched 109 episodes of a single TV show in just 9 days. I've had all manner of distractions: from girls, to partying, to girlfriends, to video games, to 10:30pm Spicy Chicken Wrap runs. I've watched my fair share of TV too, and through it all I pulled off a Mechanical Engineering degree and carved out a pretty good life for myself. I've had setbacks, but I never failed, or knocked a girl up, or lost to alcoholism or drug addiction.There is a way to get it all done and focus, I can assure you, and if you want my help just ask. I could type for hours if I wasn't so busy, but a question here and there I can handle.
I'll be sure to keep this in mind ^^
On July 13 2012 23:30 felisconcolori wrote: Fuck Ayn Rand.
Seriously.
As for writing down your thoughts as you're reading - I can't say that I have ever done that. Not on first read through. Usually not on second read through. And practically never, at all. It just doesn't make sense to me - and as you notice, it can interrupt the flow of the story in the book. Why do people do that? Is it something you'll look back at later, during a re-read? Will you look at them again? What is the purpose of pulling yourself out of the story to say "I think Orwell is making fun of bankers and politicians here"? (I dunno. I've been reading non-stop since I can remember, and the only book outside of school assignments that has markings (neither do most of the ones I read for school) in it is Stranger in a Strange Land - which I practically have memorized anyway.)
lol why? I can only explain why I do it, really. Aside from my teachers checking every now and then to promote good habits. Its because at some moments reading a book, I have small epiphany about the book, or its message, or its storytelling, or something about it that I don't really wanna lose. Even something as simple as, "well this book is really all about the littlest things" (the book for that comment, by the way, is Gaiman's Stardust, which I'd recommend to everyone with a spare 3 hours). If I don't write it somewhere, the thought is lost forever, and I may as well never have thought it.
But yeah I do agree it breaks the flow of reading.
On July 13 2012 23:33 micronesia wrote: I removed the typo from the thread title... please proofread thread titles :o
I only noticed after I posted, lol. Thanks, I will in the future!
On July 13 2012 16:38 Juliette wrote: Why do I feel so free to do absolutely nothing, and yet so constrained by the things I know I should be doing?
God I know that feeling, its kinda horrible, and yet I am stilling basically doing nothing. Even just posting this and going in TL in general feeds into it.
Not to sure on the Frank Ocean, but you like Kanye West and Arrested Development, so we can be friends ^_^
I hadn't heard New God Flow, I like it, and the song it samples I adore, Mighty Healthy, even if the video is goofy
Do you like Mvp and Flash? Cause if so.... .
I love Frank because he's feeding into a better level of this contemporary hip-hop. The quality of his last album is pretty much barely a notch under Watch the Throne for me (maybe the production could use work, but he didn't have Kanye so its not really fair). Everything now is so subtle, at least in good music, you can see it in New God Flow when Pusha says
"What's a king without a crown, nigga? What's a circus without you clown niggas? What's a brick from an outta-town nigga When you flood and you can drown niggas?"
Each of them = young money member, and its so brilliant and so easy to miss.
On July 14 2012 02:00 HeeroFX wrote: I have the same problem in the summers, theres a ton of things that I want to do. But what usually happens is I end up playing video games. Take this summer for example, Once the semester ended, I hung out with friends and beat like 3 games on my ps3. Then the summer semester started and I suddenly got really busy.
STEAM SALE. waiting on something really fun to go on sale so I can waste my time with that. Nothing so far, but I did buy The Polynomial for $2 and its more fun as a music simulator than audiosurf. Much trippier though.
On July 14 2012 04:39 Gae wrote: i love frank ocean, i get to see him next thursday good luck at college
"What's a king without a crown, nigga? What's a circus without you clown niggas? What's a brick from an outta-town nigga When you flood and you can drown niggas?"
"What's a king without a crown, nigga? What's a circus without you clown niggas? What's a brick from an outta-town nigga When you flood and you can drown niggas?"
Can you explain what's so brilliant about this?
He's taking shots at Young Money (who started taking shots at Jay-Z and Kanye). Push is "under the umbrella, aka under Jay-Z
He's mentioning Tyga (his last album was titled "rise of the last king"), the "others" of young money (gudda gudda, jae millz, mack maine are the main 3) who have done nothing noteworthy under the label, Drake (who's canadian), and then hitting Wayne and Birdman in a cold fashion because their home town (which is important in rap), New Orleans, was flooded from Katrina.
But the way he does it, like you'd never notice it if you didn't know (I did NOT come up with this on my own, by the way), isn't like how rappers used to take shots at each other. Before it was like, well here's wayne's "attack" to pusha T right before
its more direct, more crude, and really just name calling.
I dunno I just think its clever and i appreciate it.
On July 13 2012 23:14 TheGiz wrote: If you want to talk about motivation and doing work throughout college/university, you need only to talk to me. In my first year I watched 109 episodes of a single TV show in just 9 days. I've had all manner of distractions: from girls, to partying, to girlfriends, to video games, to 10:30pm Spicy Chicken Wrap runs. I've watched my fair share of TV too, and through it all I pulled off a Mechanical Engineering degree and carved out a pretty good life for myself. I've had setbacks, but I never failed, or knocked a girl up, or lost to alcoholism or drug addiction.There is a way to get it all done and focus, I can assure you, and if you want my help just ask. I could type for hours if I wasn't so busy, but a question here and there I can handle.
On July 13 2012 23:30 felisconcolori wrote: Fuck Ayn Rand.
Seriously.
As for writing down your thoughts as you're reading - I can't say that I have ever done that. Not on first read through. Usually not on second read through. And practically never, at all. It just doesn't make sense to me - and as you notice, it can interrupt the flow of the story in the book. Why do people do that? Is it something you'll look back at later, during a re-read? Will you look at them again? What is the purpose of pulling yourself out of the story to say "I think Orwell is making fun of bankers and politicians here"? (I dunno. I've been reading non-stop since I can remember, and the only book outside of school assignments that has markings (neither do most of the ones I read for school) in it is Stranger in a Strange Land - which I practically have memorized anyway.)
lol why? I can only explain why I do it, really. Aside from my teachers checking every now and then to promote good habits. Its because at some moments reading a book, I have small epiphany about the book, or its message, or its storytelling, or something about it that I don't really wanna lose. Even something as simple as, "well this book is really all about the littlest things" (the book for that comment, by the way, is Gaiman's Stardust, which I'd recommend to everyone with a spare 3 hours). If I don't write it somewhere, the thought is lost forever, and I may as well never have thought it.
But yeah I do agree it breaks the flow of reading.
Ayn Rand is pretty much anathema in the world of educated people, liking her loses more than gains you respect among most post-high school intellectuals. Her ideals (like great men going off into their isolation and forming a paradise) are generally just very dated compared to what the modern world is like now where everything is interconnected and collaborative (and especially since the 2000's Wall Street fiasco IMO), and it's regarded as pretty much selfish, callous libertarian fantasy with a not very rigorously defined or defended outline of a philosophy attached. Plus her writing is totally functional which gives something like Atlas Shrugged no real artistic resonance as a novel. But it's good to figure out these things on your own rather than just taking people's words for it. So read away if it's seems worthwhile. But also play Bioshock, one of the most awesome pieces of literary criticism ever.
On writing notes, I would just do it where you are naturally pausing to think things over while you read anyway. At least that's what I do, if there's anything I really want to think over, I naturally stop reading anyway, and I read passages multiple times on my first read through anyway.
Pride and Prejudice is really fun though. Also Firefly, the final episode Objects in Space is pretty much one of the best episodes of TV I've ever seen, so you have to finish it.
Ayn Rand is pretty much anathema in the world of educated people, liking her loses more than gains you respect among most post-high school intellectuals. Her ideals (like great men going off into their isolation and forming a paradise) are generally just very dated compared to what the modern world is like now where everything is interconnected and collaborative (and especially since the 2000's Wall Street fiasco IMO), and its regarded as pretty much selfish, callous libertarian fantasy with a not very rigorously defined or defended outline of a philosophy attached. Plus her writing is totally functional which gives something like Atlas Shrugged no real artistic resonance as a novel. But it's good to figure out these things on your own rather than just taking people's words for it. So read away if it's seems worthwhile. But also play Bioshock, one of the most awesome pieces of literary criticism ever.
On writing notes, I would just do it where you are naturally pausing to think things over while you read anyway. At least that's what I do, if there's anything I really want to think over, I naturally stop reading anyway, and I read passages multiple times on my first read through anyway.
Pride and Prejudice is really fun though. Also Firefly, the final episode Objects in Space is pretty much one of the best episodes of TV I've ever seen, so you have to finish it.
so I just noticed I've been spelling her name wrong forever. lol.
Its still an interesting read, for me, even if I do or don't agree with her philosophy. reading for the sake of reading I suppose, and its been enjoyable no matter what her message (or, I guess, lack of) is. I'll see if I agree or not when I finish :p.
I'm a chapter (or section or whatever) into P&P though I know the story already, I'll still finish it.
That's #2 for firefly, I'll resume it once season 1 of Arrested Development is done.
EPT
. My problem is whether I want to or whether I should, or some other angsty shit really similar to that. Thanks regardless, (and I don't know how to say that without making it seem like I'm disregarding what you're telling me, cause I'm not at all). 
you seem to know what you must do yourself (i.e. solution is for you to find the solution to it yourself), so good luck. I know the feeling very well--you have so much to do but at the same time it's like you're bored with nothing to do. Still haven't overcome it myself, huge pile of work to get to but I'm literally just bored. Happened to me in high school when I had all those SAT/AP exams coming up lol.
