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Hey guys ; this isn't a depressing story or anything. It's more of me asking for suggestions on how to approach a situation that is in front of me.
I have a summer job that ends right before August does. I'm enjoying it but 2 weeks ago a new girl from Ireland just joined the company. She's here with some friends on a work visa, they're just travelling and making money to spend while they're here.
To get to the point; I'm just so drawn to her, physically and her personality is so alluring. I'm not in love or anything, not at all. But I know that she would be the type of girl I would go for.
Two big problems; 1- she has a boyfriend but they sorta are together and not together, and 2- she's lives across the Atlantic ocean. And moving back home at the end of august
I obviously know it can't work but I am kinda falling for her, and we get on really well. I wont go into a lot of detail but assuming she thinks I'm awesome too..
Do I just not tell her that I'd definitely ask her out if it werent for the circumstances or do I just tell her casually that I do think shes cute ..?
So far everyone Ive talked to has told me to tell her in one way or another but its the timing that they dont know about. I dont wanna just throw all of this at her right before she leaves because apparently girls dont like getting surprised with info like that, (ive had another girl tell me she had a huge crush on me once out of the blue and that was weird for me too)
But if i tell her too early, and she takes it too seriously or something then it will be awkward at work and she probably wont be as receptive to us hanging out after work (she has been so far though)
 
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The simple solution, ask her to go do something. Dinner, drinks, movie, who really gives a shit, something.
It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
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Just walk up to her and say this: "Hey! What about.. You..Me...My sofa...This weekend...Titanic 2...Popcorn...Something to drink, okidoki?"
-- Works everytime
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It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
^^one of my personal favorite quotes. also, "Just do it"
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Tell her and enjoy the 2.5 months together while you can.
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Making money to spend while shes there? I assume she's going out at night/on weekends then, so meet up with her sometime. She's irish so try not to let her out drink you/fall in love with her accent. See how things go and don't friend zone yourself if you haven't already ~~
TL:DR it's only awkward if you make it.
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On June 19 2012 09:17 jjun212 wrote:
Two big problems; 1- she has a boyfriend but they sorta are together and not together, and 2- she's lives across the Atlantic ocean. And moving back home at the end of august
I obviously know it can't work but I am kinda falling for her, and we get on really well. I wont go into a lot of detail but assuming she thinks I'm awesome too..
Do I just not tell her that I'd definitely ask her out if it werent for the circumstances or do I just tell her casually that I do think shes cute ..?
First of all, she has a boyfriend. It doesn't matter if it's a good relationship or not, it's a boundary that deserves to be respected. My current girlfriend was in a relationship when she started falling for me. Even though I didn't make a move until they were on break (two weeks before breaking up entirely), I STILL felt like a total scumbag. You can rationalize it however you want, but if you go for it and she reciprocates you may feel bad about it.
You should definitely tell her, but not in a way that expects anything. Tell it like it is: "I really like you and would love do date you; too bad you're taken AND leaving the country." In the very least she can affirm that nothing would ever happen and you can move on a lot faster. If she says she likes you and would like to court for the summer then that's also great. I personally wouldn't go for it if she wouldn't break up with her boyfriend, but that's also your prerogative.
It's to your advantage to tell her; this way you won't have to worry about the whole "what would have happened if I went for it" fiasco.
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First rule for chicks at work - if short term work, go for it, but if long term, don't cross the line.
Well, which one applies here?
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On June 19 2012 10:02 Servius_Fulvius wrote:Show nested quote +On June 19 2012 09:17 jjun212 wrote:
Two big problems; 1- she has a boyfriend but they sorta are together and not together, and 2- she's lives across the Atlantic ocean. And moving back home at the end of august
I obviously know it can't work but I am kinda falling for her, and we get on really well. I wont go into a lot of detail but assuming she thinks I'm awesome too..
Do I just not tell her that I'd definitely ask her out if it werent for the circumstances or do I just tell her casually that I do think shes cute ..? First of all, she has a boyfriend. It doesn't matter if it's a good relationship or not, it's a boundary that deserves to be respected. My current girlfriend was in a relationship when she started falling for me. Even though I didn't make a move until they were on break (two weeks before breaking up entirely), I STILL felt like a total scumbag. You can rationalize it however you want, but if you go for it and she reciprocates you may feel bad about it. You should definitely tell her, but not in a way that expects anything. Tell it like it is: "I really like you and would love do date you; too bad you're taken AND leaving the country." In the very least she can affirm that nothing would ever happen and you can move on a lot faster. If she says she likes you and would like to court for the summer then that's also great. I personally wouldn't go for it if she wouldn't break up with her boyfriend, but that's also your prerogative. It's to your advantage to tell her; this way you won't have to worry about the whole "what would have happened if I went for it" fiasco.
How is this insanity punctuated so nicely. Fuck boundaries. She's only still with her boyfriend who's a million miles away because it makes her more secure than if she didn't. Just ask her out, screw her boyfriend, if he was so important he'd be traveling with her.
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cut off your ear, wrap it in a newspaper and give it to a prostitute. trust me bitches go wild
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United States996 Posts
ok ive read OP 5 times and im going crazy. what the hell does "vvelling" mean
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On June 19 2012 10:16 Sinensis wrote:Show nested quote +On June 19 2012 10:02 Servius_Fulvius wrote:On June 19 2012 09:17 jjun212 wrote:
Two big problems; 1- she has a boyfriend but they sorta are together and not together, and 2- she's lives across the Atlantic ocean. And moving back home at the end of august
I obviously know it can't work but I am kinda falling for her, and we get on really well. I wont go into a lot of detail but assuming she thinks I'm awesome too..
Do I just not tell her that I'd definitely ask her out if it werent for the circumstances or do I just tell her casually that I do think shes cute ..? First of all, she has a boyfriend. It doesn't matter if it's a good relationship or not, it's a boundary that deserves to be respected. My current girlfriend was in a relationship when she started falling for me. Even though I didn't make a move until they were on break (two weeks before breaking up entirely), I STILL felt like a total scumbag. You can rationalize it however you want, but if you go for it and she reciprocates you may feel bad about it. You should definitely tell her, but not in a way that expects anything. Tell it like it is: "I really like you and would love do date you; too bad you're taken AND leaving the country." In the very least she can affirm that nothing would ever happen and you can move on a lot faster. If she says she likes you and would like to court for the summer then that's also great. I personally wouldn't go for it if she wouldn't break up with her boyfriend, but that's also your prerogative. It's to your advantage to tell her; this way you won't have to worry about the whole "what would have happened if I went for it" fiasco. How is this insanity punctuated so nicely. Fuck boundaries. She's only still with her boyfriend who's a million miles away because it makes her more secure than if she didn't. Just ask her out, screw her boyfriend, if he was so important he'd be traveling with her.
Douchebag, that's all I can say.
She has a boyfriend, tell her you like her if you want to, then let her decide what to do, if she breaks it up, then go for it, if she doesn't, well screw her, there's more women around
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On June 19 2012 10:35 Probe1 wrote:
cut off your ear, wrap it in a newspaper and give it to a prostitute. trust me bitches go wild
dafuq did i just read? o.o
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Falling for her? After 2 weeks? Interesting. You know she just traveled for work/fun? Do go on.
Sounds like you just want to bone her. You don't owe it to some guy overseas to not go for it, but if you're interested in a girl who would step on her man and don't find that telling about her character, it seems to indicate that you don't care because you just want to bone her. Hence why the "falling for her" line strikes me as dishonest. You mean you want to bone her.
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Where's her boyfriend currently? (I'm Irish so I can probably shed some light).
EDIT: I also live in Canada :>
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It's none of your business whether she is in a relationship or not. It's her job to worry about that, not yours.
Taking that out of the equation the rest is rather simple if you want to persue it:
Go out with her, escalate physically, enjoy each other. If she blocks because of "butbut my bf..!" it's your job to decide whether you want to keep pushing it or not. If you want to: As long as she sticks around voluntarily, you can go further.
Considering you a) know each other from work, b) you don't come off as the most confident person in the world and c) you seem to have fallen for her quicker than it's healthy for yourself most likely I'd recommend skipping that thing and learning to enjoy your time with women on your own - away from work and girls in "relationships".
Edit:
Sounds like you just want to bone her. You don't owe it to some guy overseas to not go for it, but if you're interested in a girl who would step on her man and don't find that telling about her character, it seems to indicate that you don't care because you just want to bone her. Hence why the "falling for her" line strikes me as dishonest. You mean you want to bone her.
He doesn't, that's the problem. He wants to cherish her divine presence and imagine her as the mother for his future children. Yes, that's a bit over the top but he's definitely putting her on a pedestal already which is the main problem in situations like this. If he'd trust his dear Roger Willy a bit more he wouldn't have posted this blog. =P
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take your penis out. it works 2/3 times. dont ask why 2/3.
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As a girl I'd say just ask her to hang out with you. There is no awkwardness if you don't call it a date and you can see how it goes from there. You either get an awesome international friend or a awesome international lover. Win-win.
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Not much in the way of advice here, but "it's only awkward of you make it so" is the completely the truth. You probably have experienced it personally too--something only becomes awkward when you yourself feel awkward and make the situation awkward. Otherwise it really shouldn't be awkward, barring some massively embarrassing event. fwiw I think you just start by asking her to do something with you so you guys can just hang out.
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hi she has a bf O_O, you've known her for 2 weeks
you're a scumbag if you go after her, she's a scumbag if she accepts imo
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EPT
