I tell ya guys.
I have been without the internet since january. I am getting it on wednesday.
The other day I was alone at home, it was around 6 in the morning and I suddenly realized, what the fack am I doing man? What the hell is my plan? I've been working in a call center for a bit more then 3 years now, I started working there a year after i finished highschool. How the hell did I last this long without going crazy from self uselessness?
What have I been doing for the past 5-6 years with all my free time? Well I played brood war, I wrote weird ass blogs, I played sc2, I played lol. I joked around with my friends about really offensive things. Just kinda took it easy ya know.
Then one day I was 21 in an appartment living with my ex with no prospects except joining people to teleconference calls by day and getting drunk and speeded up on the balcony by night.
And my health? Let me tell you I am built like a truck. Eat well, regular sleep, 1 perfectly shaped crap every day at 4 PM, my teeth are just great, hardly drink or take drugs.
No I lied, for a guy of 21, I feel more like a 50 year old dude who was exposed to nuclear waste during his childhood. I stopped taking my meds for crohn's months ago because it just seemed like they weren't changing anything. And my teeth are fucked man, I'm ashamed to open my mouth around people. My eating habits consist of 1 fast food meal per day, usually around 6 pm, washed down with shitty energy drinks that I've been trying to stop drinking for some time now. I started smoking cigars just to give me something to do.
And did I mention how fucking lazy I am? My god, lazyness like this is pretty amazing. If something happens where I need to do something that isnt getting up in the afternoon going to work for 6 hours and coming back home to vegetate, I probably won't do it. I've had to go for blood tests for like a year and a half, I've been meaning to get my amplifer fixed since october, one of my friends got puke on my laptop I think 3 months ago and I only just today wiped it off because my mother was grossed out by it.
And god I am just so fucking unaware. I lose my debit card constantly, I lost my drivers liscence and have been too lazy to get a replacement even though I'm looking at a 300$ ticket if I get pulled over. I can't make a decision to save my life, I am completely useless at easy housework like putting up a painting or something. My girlfriend left me probably because she was sick of having to do things like explain to me how to use a cheese grater or a can opener or which way you're supposed to put the condom on.
So what is it that I am going to do? What great plan have I come up with to solve all my troubles? Well I'm going to do like all the other motivationless childhood burnouts who wake up one day wondering what the hell they are doing do: move to another city, take some easy university course and try to get laid.
Shitty times lately, but it's not all bad. I'm pretty amazing at guitar and I am damn sexy. And I can sit down and think back to the good times! The good times being times when I'd sit down and think back to farther away good times.
edit: oh hey 1500th post lol