I used alcohol as a social lubricant from the ages of 18-25. I might have a drink or two at night by myself, but for the most part I was drinking entirely socially. And, to a good extent, it helped! I attribute a few good friendships, and many fantastic experiences, more or less to the group/alcohol interaction. There were some downsides of course, but all in all I think it enriched my earlier experiences.
But these days, I have been more isolated. I continue drinking, but more often alone. And the more I go down this route, the more I find drinking isn't the same social lubricant as it was before. Instead, I find myself forced to get shitfaced just to go out to a bar or talk to people I don't know. Facing social interaction requires me getting so drunk that I am not a good person to be around for the most part. And the last few times I've gone out, I've realized I would far more enjoy just drinking alone and playing some video games than dealing with this fact.
I realize however that this is a terrible long-term strategy. I will die miserable and alone. But my social interactions give me such a negative emotional response, and alcohol has ceased to help this fact. I have a hard time figuring out why I shouldn't just stay isolated and drink. It seems to optimize my happiness in the short-term. And the long-term can go fuck itself, because it is ethereal and imaginary. My sanity on a day to day basis is tangible and real.
But...when I wake up the next morning, I always feel regret, feel that I am wasting my life, feel that I am pathetic.
I know it's kind of cheap and cliche, but do you have any family? They would most likely stay by your side until the end.
But before we get to the end of things, ask yourself why do you need a social lubricant? What are you trying to escape? What about social interaction is frightening?
Keep your chin up, the long-term may be far off, but it's far off from imaginary. Every thing you do from this day forward will have an impact on the rest of your life as well as the lives of others.
My dad's currently in hospital due to depression, largely due to alcohol abuse. If you want to destroy yourself and everything you care about then keep it up.
Im not sure about what kind of person you are, but i far prefer drinking by myself. I used to be a super-social guy. Like in high school i knew everybody, was prom king and went to parties all 'round town. But my interest in meeting new people slowly wore off. My increasing depression has its share of blame, but not meeting new people isnt a pressing issue for me. If you have 5-10 close friends that you enjoy being with, i'd say you dont need more than that in life. You will often chance upon people too, so just be sure to take the opportunity when it presents itself. But meeting new people all the time, bah, that is more often than not a total waste of time (and good alcohole). The aesthetical/lyrical high alchohole gives you is best enjoyed in solitude. At least thats my opinion.
On May 05 2012 17:35 ArcticMuse wrote: My dad's currently in hospital due to depression, largely due to alcohol abuse. If you want to destroy yourself and everything you care about then keep it up.
I don't have kids or a girlfriend. I don't have anything I really care about.
I don't want to argue about the objective benefits and detriments of alcohol. Especially regarding something as subjective as your experiece with your dad. But all I can talk about is my own experience.
For me, alcohol abuse and depression go hand in hand, but not necessarily because alcohol causes depression. I've been sober for vast stretches. 1/3 of the last year I didn't drink a drop (took two two month periods off). 4 months the year before straight. All I realized is that alcohol helps me to cope. Being sober leads to me sleeping 12 hours a day and sabotaging my life EVEN MORE than before. Seriously, it's rather pathetic that I am better at university while drinking, but I am, because without the occasional consciousness reset I can't cope. Alcohol helps treat depression for me. Even being hungover is better than being depressed. But this is just me. And I've tried anti-depressents, and I find alcohol to be superior.
Despite me saying this, I'm sure that in the long run this is bad, because it has lead to isolation. But I'm not sure what I could have done better. I'm honestly scared that if I tried to fully be sober that I would end things shortly.
On May 05 2012 17:25 Roe wrote: I know it's kind of cheap and cliche, but do you have any family? They would most likely stay by your side until the end.
But before we get to the end of things, ask yourself why do you need a social lubricant? What are you trying to escape? What about social interaction is frightening?
Keep your chin up, the long-term may be far off, but it's far off from imaginary. Every thing you do from this day forward will have an impact on the rest of your life as well as the lives of others.
I want connection with people. I want friends, But my natural state of being is so very withdrawn and concealed. Alcohol helps to fix this. It has helped in the past. Every girlfriend I've had, and many good friends ive met since college have occured thanks to alcohol helping with this defect.
Social interaction is frightening because I am afraid of myself, to some extent. I am weird. I don't hold myself in high esteem.
I agree that everything we do will effect us in the future. I wish I understood that earlier in my life. These days I struggle with this fact.
...You will often chance upon people too, so just be sure to take the opportunity when it presents itself. But meeting new people all the time, bah, that is more often than not a total waste of time (and good alcohole). The aesthetical/lyrical high alchohole gives you is best enjoyed in solitude. At least thats my opinion.
I have a hard time arguing with this. And I find alcohol helps me recapture the openness of my youth. While sober I would have never really listened to the song posted earlier, but while drunk I gladly will and I can appreciate it despite the preconceptions sober-me has. I find myself often annoyed while drunk because people won't appreciate the aesthetic input that I am inclined to. It's like getting high in that sense, but more cerebreal and less spiritual.
Drinking alone though has it's problems. The worst of all is the willingness to lose yourself in a very isolated state, which may come back to bite you rather harshly. But when I listen to new music, play old games, talk to old friends, write poetry and music....alcohol helps with the creative and adventurous spirit so much.
Do you have any hobbies in which you can try to meet people through? I am a 2nd year phd student who has recent left undergrad. Graduate school is nothing like undergrad where you don't really interact with nearly as many people. I understand leaving highschool/undergrad makes it harder to connect to quality people you would like to establish friendship/relationships with, but you should try to meet people through hobbies. It's easy to discuss hobbies and overtime you will meet friends of your friends. Just go into things making the best of it. Don't go in trying to become good friends with people, but instead try to have the best time you can while sharing it with others.
On May 05 2012 17:11 trias_e wrote: I used alcohol as a social lubricant from the ages of 18-25. I might have a drink or two at night by myself, but for the most part I was drinking entirely socially. And, to a good extent, it helped! I attribute a few good friendships, and many fantastic experiences, more or less to the group/alcohol interaction. There were some downsides of course, but all in all I think it enriched my earlier experiences.
But these days, I have been more isolated. I continue drinking, but more often alone. And the more I go down this route, the more I find drinking isn't the same social lubricant as it was before. Instead, I find myself forced to get shitfaced just to go out to a bar or talk to people I don't know. Facing social interaction requires me getting so drunk that I am not a good person to be around for the most part. And the last few times I've gone out, I've realized I would far more enjoy just drinking alone and playing some video games than dealing with this fact.
I realize however that this is a terrible long-term strategy. I will die miserable and alone. But my social interactions give me such a negative emotional response, and alcohol has ceased to help this fact. I have a hard time figuring out why I shouldn't just stay isolated and drink. It seems to optimize my happiness in the short-term. And the long-term can go fuck itself, because it is ethereal and imaginary. My sanity on a day to day basis is tangible and real.
But...when I wake up the next morning, I always feel regret, feel that I am wasting my life, feel that I am pathetic.
Fuck.
I'm in MA (Marijauna Anon) and I regularly go to AA because I need it to stay sober right now. I feel like reading your post you could get a lot of help from AA but you can only get help if you want it. I think you will find a lot of people with similar stories and thoughts if you start going to different AA meetings until you find one your comfortable with.
Isolating is not good and neither is getting shitfaced. I'm not here to make you feel worse about yourself because honestly your probably a much better person than you think. Asking others for help is extremely hard for me, but I'm learning to do it. Your bottom will be where you want it to be.
I'm not going to call you anything, but what I can say is this. I was doing a lot of the things you were doing (with a different substance) and I needed help to quit using. I'm a Fucking Stoner Addict and I needed a power greater than myself (whatever you want to call it, mine right now is just the fellowship I get from MA) to stop.
Edit: AA isn't just about not drinking, its about learning about yourself and becoming a better person so that you don't sabotage your own life.
I think I may intepret these lyrics differently than intended.
But it's a beautiful song.
Our course is our own, I know we're to blame We're born into shame, to live in despair
I feel such pity for what we've become Our needs and desires...our weakness, our pain
Our need to fulfil, the urges we feel It weakens our will, it brings us great pain
A flood of hatred surges inside Control it, deny it...let it run free
I can't run away...I can't hide from myself It is what I am...it is what we are
Look around and see...pathetic human beasts We have written our own ending
How can we live with ourselves Our jealousy, our tyranny The lives we make, the lives we take The fools we serve, the fools we are
Brazen in our final days Our time on top is near on end It's clear to me we'll never change It's clear that I will never change The tragedy of life we live The tragedy of life we'll see We call it human nature The seducer of mankind
Our course is our own, I know we're to blame We're born into shame, to live in despair A flood of hatred surges inside Control it, deny it...let it run free
I can't run away...I can't hide from myself It is what I am...it is what we are Look around and see...pathetic human beasts We have written our own ending
How can we live with ourselves Our jealousy, our tyranny The lives we make, the lives we take The fools we serve, the fools we are
But!
Why I love metal is that there is hope. There is vengeance. Never, never, never fucking give up. I would never survive without this.
Not all of us choose to believe Some of us choose to live Not all of us follow so blindly And accept all that we hear
Maybe you're not so smart To look outside yourself Maybe you've chosen unwisely In the God you've made your own I'll be my own leader I'll be my own saviour I'll be the strength that carries I'll be the light that guides...me I will make you see Your devotion is in vain I'll be the one left standing When all of you are kneeling And smiling, so content I'll wipe the smiles off your faces
Don't you dare pity me I've made my choice and I'll prove you wrong
My voice will thunder through the heavens And my flames of hatred burn I believe in me and only me And I bow to no sovereign
On May 05 2012 17:11 trias_e wrote: I used alcohol as a social lubricant from the ages of 18-25. I might have a drink or two at night by myself, but for the most part I was drinking entirely socially. And, to a good extent, it helped! I attribute a few good friendships, and many fantastic experiences, more or less to the group/alcohol interaction. There were some downsides of course, but all in all I think it enriched my earlier experiences.
But these days, I have been more isolated. I continue drinking, but more often alone. And the more I go down this route, the more I find drinking isn't the same social lubricant as it was before. Instead, I find myself forced to get shitfaced just to go out to a bar or talk to people I don't know. Facing social interaction requires me getting so drunk that I am not a good person to be around for the most part. And the last few times I've gone out, I've realized I would far more enjoy just drinking alone and playing some video games than dealing with this fact.
I realize however that this is a terrible long-term strategy. I will die miserable and alone. But my social interactions give me such a negative emotional response, and alcohol has ceased to help this fact. I have a hard time figuring out why I shouldn't just stay isolated and drink. It seems to optimize my happiness in the short-term. And the long-term can go fuck itself, because it is ethereal and imaginary. My sanity on a day to day basis is tangible and real.
But...when I wake up the next morning, I always feel regret, feel that I am wasting my life, feel that I am pathetic.
Fuck.
I'm in MA (Marijauna Anon) and I regularly go to AA because I need it to stay sober right now. I feel like reading your post you could get a lot of help from AA but you can only get help if you want it. I think you will find a lot of people with similar stories and thoughts if you start going to different AA meetings until you find one your comfortable with.
Isolating is not good and neither is getting shitfaced. I'm not here to make you feel worse about yourself because honestly your probably a much better person than you think. Asking others for help is extremely hard for me, but I'm learning to do it. Your bottom will be where you want it to be.
I'm not going to call you anything, but what I can say is this. I was doing a lot of the things you were doing (with a different substance) and I needed help to quit using. I'm a Fucking Stoner Addict and I needed a power greater than myself (whatever you want to call it, mine right now is just the fellowship I get from MA) to stop.
Edit: AA isn't just about not drinking, its about learning about yourself and becoming a better person so that you don't sabotage your own life.
I'm just not sure why I should quit drinking. My life without it seems worse. The only thing I am worried about is using it a crutch and then finding myself later on regretting it. But right now it seems to be right.
I think maybe AA meetings are a kind of church. It's a matter of finding social connectedness. We partake because we don't have that. By replacing it, we help with the problem.
The problem with that is that I can't be a part of a church. I was raised mormon, and I rejected that when I was 10. I reject orthodoxy out of habit and princible. A very strong combination.
There is no power greater than yourself.
Some of us just need convincing of it to follow it. But it's like following a faulty premise to a reasonable conclusion. If you look deep, it will disintegrate.
On May 05 2012 17:11 trias_e wrote: I used alcohol as a social lubricant from the ages of 18-25. I might have a drink or two at night by myself, but for the most part I was drinking entirely socially. And, to a good extent, it helped! I attribute a few good friendships, and many fantastic experiences, more or less to the group/alcohol interaction. There were some downsides of course, but all in all I think it enriched my earlier experiences.
But these days, I have been more isolated. I continue drinking, but more often alone. And the more I go down this route, the more I find drinking isn't the same social lubricant as it was before. Instead, I find myself forced to get shitfaced just to go out to a bar or talk to people I don't know. Facing social interaction requires me getting so drunk that I am not a good person to be around for the most part. And the last few times I've gone out, I've realized I would far more enjoy just drinking alone and playing some video games than dealing with this fact.
I realize however that this is a terrible long-term strategy. I will die miserable and alone. But my social interactions give me such a negative emotional response, and alcohol has ceased to help this fact. I have a hard time figuring out why I shouldn't just stay isolated and drink. It seems to optimize my happiness in the short-term. And the long-term can go fuck itself, because it is ethereal and imaginary. My sanity on a day to day basis is tangible and real.
But...when I wake up the next morning, I always feel regret, feel that I am wasting my life, feel that I am pathetic.
Fuck.
I'm in MA (Marijauna Anon) and I regularly go to AA because I need it to stay sober right now. I feel like reading your post you could get a lot of help from AA but you can only get help if you want it. I think you will find a lot of people with similar stories and thoughts if you start going to different AA meetings until you find one your comfortable with.
Isolating is not good and neither is getting shitfaced. I'm not here to make you feel worse about yourself because honestly your probably a much better person than you think. Asking others for help is extremely hard for me, but I'm learning to do it. Your bottom will be where you want it to be.
I'm not going to call you anything, but what I can say is this. I was doing a lot of the things you were doing (with a different substance) and I needed help to quit using. I'm a Fucking Stoner Addict and I needed a power greater than myself (whatever you want to call it, mine right now is just the fellowship I get from MA) to stop.
Edit: AA isn't just about not drinking, its about learning about yourself and becoming a better person so that you don't sabotage your own life.
I'm just not sure why I should quit drinking. My life without it seems worse. The only thing I am worried about is using it a crutch and then finding myself later on regretting it. But right now it seems to be right.
I think maybe AA meetings are a kind of church. It's a matter of finding social connectedness. We partake because we don't have that. By replacing it, we help with the problem.
The problem with that is that I can't be a part of a church. I was raised mormon, and I rejected that when I was 10. I reject orthodoxy out of habit and princible. A very strong combination.
There is no power greater than yourself.
Some of us just need convincing of it to follow it. But it's like following a faulty premise to a reasonable conclusion. If you look deep, it will disintegrate.
Not to dis on those songs. But what is wrong with being willing and open to others, then accepting what YOU want and what YOU believe. I guess those lyrics are great if you want to just hate and be alone. Honestly that is not human nature, and even you have friends and people who care for you (I care about you). You don't have to bow to anyone to listen to what they have to say and then form your own opinion.
Bow to yourself. Kneel before the person you could be and ask him whats right for you. I don't believe in God, but I believe that there are other people who know more than me, and I'm willing to keep my ears open just incase one of them speaks the truth if only for a moment.
"Life as we know it, our daily life, is a process of becoming. I am poor and I act with an end in view, which is to become rich. I am ugly and I want to become beautiful. Therefore my life is a process of becoming something. The will to be is the will to become, at different levels of consciousness, in different states, in which there is challenge, response, naming, and recording. Now, this becoming is strife, this becoming is pain, it is not? It is a constant struggle: I am this, and I want to become that."
Alcohol does not give you anything that you do not already possess. Just like smoking weed never made me better at anything no matter how hard I tried to convince myself it did. Truth is in reality and the relationships we have. I am not better than you and I would never ask you to bow to anyone. You expressed pain, and you also expressed that you had to cope with it. Why cope with it when you could get rid of it completely?
There is no power greater than yourself? Really, does that make you God? Does that mean God exists to you? I don't believe in God. I believe that a group of people who care as much about each other as they do themselves is a power greater than myself on my own.
I'm not telling you to go somewhere and believe every fucking word they say. I'm telling you to go somewhere and listen to what they have to say, take the bits and pieces that apply to you, and right your own ship. Some AA meetings are pretty strict and some people will tell you that God is the only higher power. Who gives a fuck, maybe they are wrong, maybe they are right.
It doesn't matter how deep I look, I cannot disentegrate how I feel about something if I went into it with a willing and open mind. If I don't go into it willing and open, then I will do exactly as you said. Be honest with yourself. Alcohol can give you some moments of happiness, but they don't last (weed made me happy for a long time).
When you were learning to play starcraft, did you automatically know everything? If so why aren't you winning the GSL every season? The best players started as scrubs, learnt what they could from others, and formed their own ideas. None of them did it alone. Life is no different.
I cannot say that AA will *cure* you, or that you will like every meeting you go to. I asked you to try for yourself, because I was in the same situation (content to just get high alone and be angry at the world), and its exactly what I need right now. I don't need another bowl to smoke to *cope* with my problems, because as soon as I come down all of my problems remain.
I agree that there is no perfect system or way of living for all people. But there is a better way. Progress not Perfection. I didn't need any convincing to follow MA. I knew I was coping with my problems and I felt like a piece of shit because of it. You will know nothing about AA until you go to some meetings and honestly share your stories with others.
"One of the things, it seems to me, that most of us eagerly accept and take for granted is the question of beliefs. I am not attacking beliefs. What we are trying to do is to find out why we accept beliefs; and if we can understand the motives, the causation of acceptance, then perhaps we may be able not only to understand why we do it, but also be free of it. One can see how political and religious beliefs, national and various other types of beliefs, do separate people, do create conflict, confusion, and antagonism -which is an obvious fact; and yet we are unwilling to give them up. There is the Hindu belief, the Christian belief, the Buddhist - innumerable sectarian and national beliefs, various political ideologies, all contending with one other, trying to convert one other. One can see, obviously, that belief is separating people, creating intolerance; is it possible to live without belief? One can find that out only if one can study oneself in relationship to a belief. Is it possible to live in this world without a belief - not change beliefs, not substitute one belief for another, but be entirely free from all beliefs, so that one meets life anew each minute? This, after all, is the truth: to have the capacity of meeting everything anew, from moment to moment, without the conditioning reaction of the past, so that there is not the cumulative effect which acts as a barrier between oneself and that which is."
Believing in nothing is still a belief.
Edit: Just to add some more of my own thoughts. I'm only 23 years old. I smoked pretty much daily since I was 16. And regardless about how you feel about my last 2 posts. I love you, because I see parts of myself in you. And not just because of any Ego I may have. I fucking love you because of your pain and you deserve love. I love that you were honest and put your story into a blog.
In the past I cared so much about what I thought, that I was too afraid to open myself up to others. I was comfortable with my thoughts but not how everyone recieved them. You deserve better than what you have had in the past, regardless of what anyone says (oh you have it better than people in 3rd world countries! Some would say... Fuck that! Money doesn't buy happiness). I hope you discover who you are and I am thankful for you helping me discover who I am.
I need some sleep, but I'm glad I was up at 3 am to see your blog now.
I'm in MA (Marijauna Anon) and I regularly go to AA because I need it to stay sober right now. I feel like reading your post you could get a lot of help from AA but you can only get help if you want it. I think you will find a lot of people with similar stories and thoughts if you start going to different AA meetings until you find one your comfortable with.
Isolating is not good and neither is getting shitfaced. I'm not here to make you feel worse about yourself because honestly your probably a much better person than you think. Asking others for help is extremely hard for me, but I'm learning to do it. Your bottom will be where you want it to be.
I'm not going to call you anything, but what I can say is this. I was doing a lot of the things you were doing (with a different substance) and I needed help to quit using. I'm a Fucking Stoner Addict and I needed a power greater than myself (whatever you want to call it, mine right now is just the fellowship I get from MA) to stop.
Edit: AA isn't just about not drinking, its about learning about yourself and becoming a better person so that you don't sabotage your own life.
I'm just not sure why I should quit drinking. My life without it seems worse. The only thing I am worried about is using it a crutch and then finding myself later on regretting it. But right now it seems to be right.
I think maybe AA meetings are a kind of church. It's a matter of finding social connectedness. We partake because we don't have that. By replacing it, we help with the problem.
The problem with that is that I can't be a part of a church. I was raised mormon, and I rejected that when I was 10. I reject orthodoxy out of habit and princible. A very strong combination.
Not to dis on those songs. But what is wrong with being willing and open to others, then accepting what YOU want and what YOU believe. I guess those lyrics are great if you want to just hate and be alone. Honestly that is not human nature, and even you have friends and people who care for you (I care about you). You don't have to bow to anyone to listen to what they have to say and then form your own opinion.
I don't want to hate and be alone. But I want to be strong.
Bow to yourself. Kneel before the person you could be and ask him whats right for you.
This is a damn good quote.
"Life as we know it, our daily life, is a process of becoming. I am poor and I act with an end in view, which is to become rich. I am ugly and I want to become beautiful. Therefore my life is a process of becoming something. The will to be is the will to become, at different levels of consciousness, in different states, in which there is challenge, response, naming, and recording. Now, this becoming is strife, this becoming is pain, it is not? It is a constant struggle: I am this, and I want to become that."
Life is becoming, if you take a positive look on it.
I like this.
Alcohol does not give you anything that you do not already possess. Just like smoking weed never made me better at anything no matter how hard I tried to convince myself it did. Truth is in reality and the relationships we have. I am not better than you and I would never ask you to bow to anyone. You expressed pain, and you also expressed that you had to cope with it. Why cope with it when you could get rid of it completely?
Alcohol helps me socially like caffiene helps you take a test. It augments what was already there. With social anxiety the helpful effects of alcohol are clear and obvious. They do help you to be what you are not, to some extent. You would take other drugs without trepditation to fix that same problems, even though they may have even worse side effects.
There is no power greater than yourself? Really, does that make you God? Does that mean God exists to you? I don't believe in God. I believe that a group of people who care as much about each other as they do themselves is a power greater than myself on my own.
There is no god, and while I respect tradition and those before me I know that they do not understand me, I have been fundamentally betrayed by advice, and there are no easy answers from tradtion. Caring is wonderful, but how can anyone relate to you unless they have experienced life through your eyes?
I'm in MA (Marijauna Anon) and I regularly go to AA because I need it to stay sober right now. I feel like reading your post you could get a lot of help from AA but you can only get help if you want it. I think you will find a lot of people with similar stories and thoughts if you start going to different AA meetings until you find one your comfortable with.
Isolating is not good and neither is getting shitfaced. I'm not here to make you feel worse about yourself because honestly your probably a much better person than you think. Asking others for help is extremely hard for me, but I'm learning to do it. Your bottom will be where you want it to be.
I'm not going to call you anything, but what I can say is this. I was doing a lot of the things you were doing (with a different substance) and I needed help to quit using. I'm a Fucking Stoner Addict and I needed a power greater than myself (whatever you want to call it, mine right now is just the fellowship I get from MA) to stop.
Edit: AA isn't just about not drinking, its about learning about yourself and becoming a better person so that you don't sabotage your own life.
I'm just not sure why I should quit drinking. My life without it seems worse. The only thing I am worried about is using it a crutch and then finding myself later on regretting it. But right now it seems to be right.
I think maybe AA meetings are a kind of church. It's a matter of finding social connectedness. We partake because we don't have that. By replacing it, we help with the problem.
The problem with that is that I can't be a part of a church. I was raised mormon, and I rejected that when I was 10. I reject orthodoxy out of habit and princible. A very strong combination.
There is no power greater than yourself.
Some of us just need convincing of it to follow it. But it's like following a faulty premise to a reasonable conclusion. If you look deep, it will disintegrate.
Not to dis on those songs. But what is wrong with being willing and open to others, then accepting what YOU want and what YOU believe. I guess those lyrics are great if you want to just hate and be alone. Honestly that is not human nature, and even you have friends and people who care for you (I care about you). You don't have to bow to anyone to listen to what they have to say and then form your own opinion.
I don't want to hate and be alone. But I want to be strong.
Bow to yourself. Kneel before the person you could be and ask him whats right for you.
"Life as we know it, our daily life, is a process of becoming. I am poor and I act with an end in view, which is to become rich. I am ugly and I want to become beautiful. Therefore my life is a process of becoming something. The will to be is the will to become, at different levels of consciousness, in different states, in which there is challenge, response, naming, and recording. Now, this becoming is strife, this becoming is pain, it is not? It is a constant struggle: I am this, and I want to become that."
Life is becoming, if you take a positive look on it.
I like this.
Alcohol does not give you anything that you do not already possess. Just like smoking weed never made me better at anything no matter how hard I tried to convince myself it did. Truth is in reality and the relationships we have. I am not better than you and I would never ask you to bow to anyone. You expressed pain, and you also expressed that you had to cope with it. Why cope with it when you could get rid of it completely?
Alcohol helps me socially like caffiene helps you take a test. It augments what was already there. With social anxiety the helpful effects of alcohol are clear and obvious. They do help you to be what you are not, to some extent. You would take other drugs without trepditation to fix that same problems, even though they may have even worse side effects.
There is no power greater than yourself? Really, does that make you God? Does that mean God exists to you? I don't believe in God. I believe that a group of people who care as much about each other as they do themselves is a power greater than myself on my own.
There is no god, and while I respect tradition and those before me I know that they do not understand me, I have been fundamentally betrayed by advice, and there are no easy answers from tradtion. Caring is wonderful, but how can anyone relate to you unless they have experienced life through your eyes?
[/QUOTE]
I thought of that because earlier today I was at an AA meeting and they were talking about higher powers and I remembered I have a Daisho in my room. I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to kneel before my Daisho and pray to it (because I have a hard time Praying and I find Meditatiing relatively easy). It made me think of how Samurai thought of Daisho as their "soul". Regardless of how I am each day, I will never be perfect. But inside of me there is a better person, I can pray for his guidance I think. I will try tomorrow.
It made me think of how Samurai thought of Daisho as their "soul". Regardless of how I am each day, I will never be perfect. But inside of me there is a better person, I can pray for his guidance I think. I will try tomorrow.
I love this thought process.
We can improve. We have the path in front of us. It is a matter of introspection and understanding that can guide us.
On May 05 2012 21:50 MethodSC wrote: I mean if you don't want to talk to anyone about your problems and want to solve them yourself the easiest way would be shrooms or dmt.
Yes, the way to fix wanting to 'take a break' from regular life with alcohol is to take other mid-altering substances.
There is no power greater than yourself? Really, does that make you God? Does that mean God exists to you? I don't believe in God. I believe that a group of people who care as much about each other as they do themselves is a power greater than myself on my own.
There is no god, and while I respect tradition and those before me I know that they do not understand me, I have been fundamentally betrayed by advice, and there are no easy answers from tradtion. Caring is wonderful, but how can anyone relate to you unless they have experienced life through your eyes?
Put harshly: You are not unique, and neither are your experiences. Tradition might not offer answers, but other people that faced similar issues might. It's hard to discuss alcohol use with people close to you, and support groups are the easiest way to do so anonymously. I'm not saying you should, but if you feel concious about your alcohol use there's no harm in going just once.
Alcohol rapidly becomes a crutch in social situations, at least it did for me, and my solution has been simply not drinking in social situations where I don't trust/know the people that are attending. I'll drink at times when going out with close friends, I will never ever drink with colleagues or other acquaintances. You'll rapidly get better at socializing without alcohol, it just takes practice, and you'll probably end up with more meaningful relationships because of it. It just requires getting over that initial anxiety.
On May 05 2012 17:11 trias_e wrote: I have a hard time figuring out why I shouldn't just stay isolated and drink. It seems to optimize my happiness in the short-term. And the long-term can go fuck itself, because it is ethereal and imaginary. My sanity on a day to day basis is tangible and real.
But...when I wake up the next morning, I always feel regret, feel that I am wasting my life, feel that I am pathetic.
I think feeling regret the next morning is enough of a reason to not want to drink anymore. It's obvious you want to stop. The long term is not ethereal or imaginary. It isn't distinct from the short term. Rather the short and long term are on a continuum with medium term effects in between. In that sense it's just as real as anything else.
Support groups are good. The first thing I would do on an online support group is to post a daily report and to keep it up. I don't know if you should go to a live support group meeting, but it's worth a try. You should also be honest to and try to get support from friends. The argument that you don't want to bother them is an excuse to not seem weak.
Definatly stop drinking by yourself and make some rules bro. No drinking unless its Friday or a special ocassion. The poisen got one of my budies pretty bad. Now he doesn"t drink at all and is not the same person.
You are getting too obsessed with alcohol. If you are thinking about alcohol every day, either as a solution to problems or the cause of problems, you need to reevaluate your situation and figure out what is really wrong. Alcohol is a fun thing to have once in awhile when you're already happy. It wastes a lot of time that could have been spent improving your life (aka while you feel so bad the next day, irregardless of physical symptoms).
I'm not gonna give you the whole spiel. Try not to be a huge dumb ass, is basically what it is. In a few months if you're saying 'I'm an alcoholic' and going to AA meetings, you'll be even more blind to the real issues in your life and massively egocentric about your problems. I have met a lot of people who once they have a scapegoat for a problem like alcohol, they never really get back on track or stop drinking like fools.
On May 06 2012 07:55 Chef wrote: You are getting too obsessed with alcohol. If you are thinking about alcohol every day, either as a solution to problems or the cause of problems, you need to reevaluate your situation and figure out what is really wrong. Alcohol is a fun thing to have once in awhile when you're already happy. It wastes a lot of time that could have been spent improving your life (aka while you feel so bad the next day, irregardless of physical symptoms).
I'm not gonna give you the whole spiel. Try not to be a huge dumb ass, is basically what it is. In a few months if you're saying 'I'm an alcoholic' and going to AA meetings, you'll be even more blind to the real issues in your life and massively egocentric about your problems. I have met a lot of people who once they have a scapegoat for a problem like alcohol, they never really get back on track or stop drinking like fools.
Lol were you ever in AA? I'm not telling him to blindly follow someones advice, but because of what I bolded it sounds like you have no fucking clue what AA is actually about. Its about recognizing your faults and doing your best to not repeat them and its also about looking at your life and why you have issues. Its not a scapegoat unless you let it be one.
I will admit that I don't agree with everyone at 12 step meetings. But if you look at the 12 steps and take them at face value the part I bolded makes you look completely ignorant.
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10.Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Total scapegoating right? Not saying its a perfect system. And frankly I disagree with a lot that is said by members of AA. But if someone goes into those steps open and honestly there is no scapegoating and no ego. Ego is usually a defect of character btw.
Its not about just saying the words and thinking you believe them. Its about honestly looking at your life and making corrections. How can you do that if your not living in reality.
Edit:
On May 06 2012 07:27 GohgamX wrote: Definatly stop drinking by yourself and make some rules bro. No drinking unless its Friday or a special ocassion. The poisen got one of my budies pretty bad. Now he doesn"t drink at all and is not the same person.
Totally agree with this. Also I agree with what Chef said about not drinking unless your already in a good mood.
If you have a problem drinking, there's a 95% chance that you can't moderate it, so you need to quit altogether. Some people argue at that point you'll be considered a 'dry drunk' and in order to fully live your life without constantly feeling like shit/craving alcohol, you need to work the 12 steps at aa/na.
I myself attend the meetings fairly regularly and it DOES help.
On May 06 2012 07:55 Chef wrote: You are getting too obsessed with alcohol. If you are thinking about alcohol every day, either as a solution to problems or the cause of problems, you need to reevaluate your situation and figure out what is really wrong. Alcohol is a fun thing to have once in awhile when you're already happy. It wastes a lot of time that could have been spent improving your life (aka while you feel so bad the next day, irregardless of physical symptoms).
I'm not gonna give you the whole spiel. Try not to be a huge dumb ass, is basically what it is. In a few months if you're saying 'I'm an alcoholic' and going to AA meetings, you'll be even more blind to the real issues in your life and massively egocentric about your problems. I have met a lot of people who once they have a scapegoat for a problem like alcohol, they never really get back on track or stop drinking like fools.
Lol were you ever in AA? I'm not telling him to blindly follow someones advice, but because of what I bolded it sounds like you have no fucking clue what AA is actually about. Its about recognizing your faults and doing your best to not repeat them and its also about looking at your life and why you have issues. Its not a scapegoat unless you let it be one.
I will admit that I don't agree with everyone at 12 step meetings. But if you look at the 12 steps and take them at face value the part I bolded makes you look completely ignorant.
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10.Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Total scapegoating right? Not saying its a perfect system. And frankly I disagree with a lot that is said by members of AA. But if someone goes into those steps open and honestly there is no scapegoating and no ego. Ego is usually a defect of character btw.
Its not about just saying the words and thinking you believe them. Its about honestly looking at your life and making corrections. How can you do that if your not living in reality.
On May 06 2012 07:27 GohgamX wrote: Definatly stop drinking by yourself and make some rules bro. No drinking unless its Friday or a special ocassion. The poisen got one of my budies pretty bad. Now he doesn"t drink at all and is not the same person.
Totally agree with this. Also I agree with what Chef said about not drinking unless your already in a good mood.
The people I've met in AA tend to make their entire lives about AA and not drinking, which I think is counter-productive. I've heard AA does not have good success rate and I believe it. The best way to get control of an addiction is to replace it with something positive, not obsess over how you ya need to quit it and talk to people every day about how many days you quit now...
You can look at the steps, but the actual actions people are going thru... soul searching and such is egotistical, talking about your not drinking every day is egotistical, getting a whole support group of friends and family for YOU is egotistical... It is a really ineffective process. I have heard far more success from people who just accept that they have control over their own bodies and take responsibility for themselves, than people who mistakenly think one drink = necessary to drink 5 more because they are an alcoholic and have no control etc etc. When you talk to alcoholics it is really unpleasant how self-centred they are. They have already done enough soul searching while drunk and the morning after.
On May 06 2012 07:55 Chef wrote: You are getting too obsessed with alcohol. If you are thinking about alcohol every day, either as a solution to problems or the cause of problems, you need to reevaluate your situation and figure out what is really wrong. Alcohol is a fun thing to have once in awhile when you're already happy. It wastes a lot of time that could have been spent improving your life (aka while you feel so bad the next day, irregardless of physical symptoms).
I'm not gonna give you the whole spiel. Try not to be a huge dumb ass, is basically what it is. In a few months if you're saying 'I'm an alcoholic' and going to AA meetings, you'll be even more blind to the real issues in your life and massively egocentric about your problems. I have met a lot of people who once they have a scapegoat for a problem like alcohol, they never really get back on track or stop drinking like fools.
Lol were you ever in AA? I'm not telling him to blindly follow someones advice, but because of what I bolded it sounds like you have no fucking clue what AA is actually about. Its about recognizing your faults and doing your best to not repeat them and its also about looking at your life and why you have issues. Its not a scapegoat unless you let it be one.
I will admit that I don't agree with everyone at 12 step meetings. But if you look at the 12 steps and take them at face value the part I bolded makes you look completely ignorant.
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10.Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Total scapegoating right? Not saying its a perfect system. And frankly I disagree with a lot that is said by members of AA. But if someone goes into those steps open and honestly there is no scapegoating and no ego. Ego is usually a defect of character btw.
Its not about just saying the words and thinking you believe them. Its about honestly looking at your life and making corrections. How can you do that if your not living in reality.
Edit:
On May 06 2012 07:27 GohgamX wrote: Definatly stop drinking by yourself and make some rules bro. No drinking unless its Friday or a special ocassion. The poisen got one of my budies pretty bad. Now he doesn"t drink at all and is not the same person.
Totally agree with this. Also I agree with what Chef said about not drinking unless your already in a good mood.
The people I've met in AA tend to make their entire lives about AA and not drinking, which I think is counter-productive. I've heard AA does not have good success rate and I believe it. The best way to get control of an addiction is to replace it with something positive, not obsess over how you ya need to quit it and talk to people every day about how many days you quit now...
You can look at the steps, but the actual actions people are going thru... soul searching and such is egotistical, talking about your not drinking every day is egotistical, getting a whole support group of friends and family for YOU is egotistical... It is a really ineffective process. I have heard far more success from people who just accept that they have control over their own bodies and take responsibility for themselves, than people who mistakenly think one drink = necessary to drink 5 more because they are an alcoholic and have no control etc etc. When you talk to alcoholics it is really unpleasant how self-centred they are. They have already done enough soul searching while drunk and the morning after.
Egotistical? Alcoholics have to constantly bring up alcohol because they have to remind themselves what it was like when they were drinking. You really don't know enough about the disease or the program to talk about it.
Alcohol makes you happy because it prevents you from giving a fuck. Stop giving so many fucking fucks.
The situation you have found yourself in boils down to a confidence issue. Having few friends attributes to why you feel pathetic but I'd wager its not the only reason. If you are able to get a job that you enjoy or find meaningful then I don't think there is anyway you could consider yourself pathetic. Once you are doing something you are proud of with your life it will boost your confidence and then there will be no need for any of this social lubricant. Everything comes naturally the more you try to improve yourself.
There's nothing wrong with drinking alone either, I've done it, it can be good fun at times just don't make it an everyday thing. Maybe going back to school would be a good option for you because it would open more social opportunities and maybe add a bit more meaning to your life. Of course I am completely talking out of my ass because i barely know you.
Alcohol works for depression for me. What I hate about it is the cost, and the physical symptoms the next day. But what I really hate is that I don't know how to solve the problems in my life. The root cause is depression, boredom with life and a general feeling of emptiness.
I don't think I am an alcoholic, although maybe I could be labeled a problem drinker. If I stop drinking for an extended period depression does take hold of me pretty severely. And it's a hell of a lot cheaper getting drunk at home once or twice a week than seeing a shrink without insurance. I need to find something to replace alcohol with if I am to quit it, otherwise I am just not functional. I would gladly replace it with weed if I actually knew any way to get it, lol. Maybe exercise could work? Maybe some sort of social hobby? I know that sitting around on my computer doesn't work anymore. Gaming only gives me satisfaction in small bunches, but gaming for a primary source of entertainment/escapism doesn't work for me anymore.
Definatly stop drinking by yourself and make some rules bro. No drinking unless its Friday or a special ocassion. The poisen got one of my budies pretty bad. Now he doesn"t drink at all and is not the same person.
No drinking unless with other people is a really good rule, because if I want to drink I ALSO have to be more social which is a good thing, I can be pretty isolated sometimes. I used to apply it, and I should again. The problem these days is that I don't have very many people to be social with. I can count them on one hand.
There's nothing wrong with drinking alone either, I've done it, it can be good fun at times just don't make it an everyday thing. Maybe going back to school would be a good option for you because it would open more social opportunities and maybe add a bit more meaning to your life. Of course I am completely talking out of my ass because i barely know you.
I'm actually going to school. That's one reason for depression. It hasn't gone so well, like usual, I fail at whatever I try to do. As far as meeting people...yeah, I just don't do that. I never personally made a friend at college despite going for, what, 7 years in total now. Sad but true. I am not very functional when it comes to meeting people and making friends.
On May 06 2012 07:55 Chef wrote: You are getting too obsessed with alcohol. If you are thinking about alcohol every day, either as a solution to problems or the cause of problems, you need to reevaluate your situation and figure out what is really wrong. Alcohol is a fun thing to have once in awhile when you're already happy. It wastes a lot of time that could have been spent improving your life (aka while you feel so bad the next day, irregardless of physical symptoms).
I'm not gonna give you the whole spiel. Try not to be a huge dumb ass, is basically what it is. In a few months if you're saying 'I'm an alcoholic' and going to AA meetings, you'll be even more blind to the real issues in your life and massively egocentric about your problems. I have met a lot of people who once they have a scapegoat for a problem like alcohol, they never really get back on track or stop drinking like fools.
Lol were you ever in AA? I'm not telling him to blindly follow someones advice, but because of what I bolded it sounds like you have no fucking clue what AA is actually about. Its about recognizing your faults and doing your best to not repeat them and its also about looking at your life and why you have issues. Its not a scapegoat unless you let it be one.
I will admit that I don't agree with everyone at 12 step meetings. But if you look at the 12 steps and take them at face value the part I bolded makes you look completely ignorant.
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10.Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Total scapegoating right? Not saying its a perfect system. And frankly I disagree with a lot that is said by members of AA. But if someone goes into those steps open and honestly there is no scapegoating and no ego. Ego is usually a defect of character btw.
Its not about just saying the words and thinking you believe them. Its about honestly looking at your life and making corrections. How can you do that if your not living in reality.
Edit:
On May 06 2012 07:27 GohgamX wrote: Definatly stop drinking by yourself and make some rules bro. No drinking unless its Friday or a special ocassion. The poisen got one of my budies pretty bad. Now he doesn"t drink at all and is not the same person.
Totally agree with this. Also I agree with what Chef said about not drinking unless your already in a good mood.
The people I've met in AA tend to make their entire lives about AA and not drinking, which I think is counter-productive. I've heard AA does not have good success rate and I believe it. The best way to get control of an addiction is to replace it with something positive, not obsess over how you ya need to quit it and talk to people every day about how many days you quit now...
You can look at the steps, but the actual actions people are going thru... soul searching and such is egotistical, talking about your not drinking every day is egotistical, getting a whole support group of friends and family for YOU is egotistical... It is a really ineffective process. I have heard far more success from people who just accept that they have control over their own bodies and take responsibility for themselves, than people who mistakenly think one drink = necessary to drink 5 more because they are an alcoholic and have no control etc etc. When you talk to alcoholics it is really unpleasant how self-centred they are. They have already done enough soul searching while drunk and the morning after.
It's actually incredibly unsuccessful and a huge waste of tax payer money. It's sad that such a flawed system is forced upon so many people.
Yes, for you people that are going to defend AA, it DOES work. Sometimes. I believe the success rate for alcohol recovery due to AA is something like less than 5%.
There HAS to be a better way =) (hey government, try reopening those LSD and alcohol addiction therapy sessions please)
(also, I have a friend that was spending $80 on meth almost every day, for almost a year. He quit cold turkey and has been clean for almost 5 years now, just a bit of inspiration >.>!)
So you know trias, most alcoholics don't consider themselves alcoholics!
I know exactly how you feel because I also have been dealing with both anxiety and depression.
The only way you're going to face your problems is to stop whatever you're using to cover up the problems.I mean if it's helping you keep everything together for now then I'd say keep going until you get to a time in your life where you can just stop and have some time for yourself. You have to really notice and examine everything that you're doing and what's really causing those feelings. It's really hard because everyone lies to themselves in order to make themselves feel better. You can lie to others but you can't lie to yourself.
You have to come up with a plan that address your shortcomings and helps you deal with all of the negative things that are causing you problems. Try as many things as possible to help with your problems. If social anxiety is your main problem, then make a goal for yourself to have a conversation per day that you otherwise wouldn't have. Feel free to pm me, if you ever want to talk. I've struggled with addictions too and have had a long road beating them. Good luck.
On May 06 2012 07:55 Chef wrote: You are getting too obsessed with alcohol. If you are thinking about alcohol every day, either as a solution to problems or the cause of problems, you need to reevaluate your situation and figure out what is really wrong. Alcohol is a fun thing to have once in awhile when you're already happy. It wastes a lot of time that could have been spent improving your life (aka while you feel so bad the next day, irregardless of physical symptoms).
I'm not gonna give you the whole spiel. Try not to be a huge dumb ass, is basically what it is. In a few months if you're saying 'I'm an alcoholic' and going to AA meetings, you'll be even more blind to the real issues in your life and massively egocentric about your problems. I have met a lot of people who once they have a scapegoat for a problem like alcohol, they never really get back on track or stop drinking like fools.
Lol were you ever in AA? I'm not telling him to blindly follow someones advice, but because of what I bolded it sounds like you have no fucking clue what AA is actually about. Its about recognizing your faults and doing your best to not repeat them and its also about looking at your life and why you have issues. Its not a scapegoat unless you let it be one.
I will admit that I don't agree with everyone at 12 step meetings. But if you look at the 12 steps and take them at face value the part I bolded makes you look completely ignorant.
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10.Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Total scapegoating right? Not saying its a perfect system. And frankly I disagree with a lot that is said by members of AA. But if someone goes into those steps open and honestly there is no scapegoating and no ego. Ego is usually a defect of character btw.
Its not about just saying the words and thinking you believe them. Its about honestly looking at your life and making corrections. How can you do that if your not living in reality.
Edit:
On May 06 2012 07:27 GohgamX wrote: Definatly stop drinking by yourself and make some rules bro. No drinking unless its Friday or a special ocassion. The poisen got one of my budies pretty bad. Now he doesn"t drink at all and is not the same person.
Totally agree with this. Also I agree with what Chef said about not drinking unless your already in a good mood.
The people I've met in AA tend to make their entire lives about AA and not drinking, which I think is counter-productive. I've heard AA does not have good success rate and I believe it. The best way to get control of an addiction is to replace it with something positive, not obsess over how you ya need to quit it and talk to people every day about how many days you quit now...
You can look at the steps, but the actual actions people are going thru... soul searching and such is egotistical, talking about your not drinking every day is egotistical, getting a whole support group of friends and family for YOU is egotistical... It is a really ineffective process. I have heard far more success from people who just accept that they have control over their own bodies and take responsibility for themselves, than people who mistakenly think one drink = necessary to drink 5 more because they are an alcoholic and have no control etc etc. When you talk to alcoholics it is really unpleasant how self-centred they are. They have already done enough soul searching while drunk and the morning after.
It's actually incredibly unsuccessful and a huge waste of tax payer money. It's sad that such a flawed system is forced upon so many people.
Yes, for you people that are going to defend AA, it DOES work. Sometimes. I believe the success rate for alcohol recovery due to AA is something like less than 5%.
There HAS to be a better way =) (hey government, try reopening those LSD and alcohol addiction therapy sessions please)
(also, I have a friend that was spending $80 on meth almost every day, for almost a year. He quit cold turkey and has been clean for almost 5 years now, just a bit of inspiration >.>!)
So you know trias, most alcoholics don't consider themselves alcoholics!
AA doesn't require Tax payers money (its self sustaining and they don't take donations from outside AA)... I also know for a fact that MA has the same tradition and I'm pretty sure NA does as well.The last part of what PanN said is extremely important to remember though.
I'd also like to note that everytime I hear you mention the types of problems you are having it makes me think AA is a good option for you. If you found the right sponsor for YOU I'm sure he would become a good friend and would also be able to help you work on all your social problems as well as your boredom (if you pick the right sponser he may be able to help you, but even if he can't help you personally, the steps can help you realize how to solve those problems without personal advice).
Replace your drinking with going to AA meetings. They are free and you have the option of paying $1 or $2 a meeting to pay rent (or pay for coffee if they have it). I was honestly scared as shit of 12 step meetings before I started to go to them. I thought they were a cult that wanted to convert me to something. Then I went and realized that I share a lot in common with most of the people who go and that most people there only care about their own soberiety as well as sharing their story. No joke, I cried more than once when I was driving to my first MA meeting.
To some people it seems egotistical to be selfish and care about yourself. But if your in recovery for something and your doing it for some other reason than your own personal health and sanity than your in it for the wrong reasons. Being selfish is one of the most important things about recovering from an addiction usually.
I will not call you an addict or an alcoholic (to me they are the same thing) and neither will anyone in AA. Only you can do that. But I have seen more than one person go into a meeting meekly and then seen them share "well.... I don't think I am an addict" just to see them again at the next meeting more confident and assertive and have them joke "I'm blank and I AM an Addict!"
For me, I know I am a fucking pothead, so I know I cannot smoke.
Edit: I put myself in Intensive Outpatient because I was coping with Depression and Anxiety with Weed. But I also made any excuse to smoke eventually it didn't matter if I was happy, sad, or lonely.
EPT
