|
Smix
United States4549 Posts
We were so young and so easily amused... we were playing some super nintendo game as you got to work making little balls of rice and putting in cute little rows of spam, then tightly squeezing it in plastic wrap so that when you unrolled them they were perfect fist sized rolls of deliciousness... There was nothing special to them; they were just bland balls of rice with spam but I just remember the raw sense of happiness I felt - you would just laugh as we played games and ate the rice balls with such enthusiasm. So simple, but to this day it was one of the most delicious things I've ever eaten... If I had known it would be the last time for such moments I would've eaten even more to savor it even more...
Our post-dinner ritual was to always gather in front of the tv as you got to work cutting up some type of fruit for us to enjoy afterward... This particular day you wanted to make us a healthy dessert so you sliced up pieces of tomato and sprinkled sugar on top to make it taste better... of course we resisted - we were used to watermelon, honey dew melons, peaches, apples, fruit that was actually good - not TOMATO, which I thought was gross and had no place for that sacred post-dinner ritual... we both complained so much you eventually put the sliced tomatoes away and ended up throwing them away because we whined so much...
I was sick, really really sick, which is saying a lot because I never get sick... I had such a high fever I couldn't even see straight. The whole house was sleeping, and you took me and turned on some tv show with the living room lights off. You had a bucket of ice cold water and you soaked a towel and spent the rest of the night patting it on my back, trying to lower my fever, as we watched the show where ironically, the poor mother was dealing with a similar situation... impoverished and left with few resources, she shed tears as she tried to save one of her children... and I remember crying because I was so young and the pain of the illness I had was too much for me at the time... Without fail you would re-chill the towel and pat it on my back, wiping the sweat off my forehead and brushing the stray strands of hair out of my face as I eventually fell asleep on your lap, sweat, pain, tears all fading into a calm black darkness of sleep...
These memories, as simple and boring as they may be haunt me today, just knowing that even those most mundane moments can't be repeated because of the way our family is broken today. If I had known, if little me could have possibly understood, I would have thanked you, I would have shed tears of sheer gratitude for the love you showed, that type of unconditional love that's found so rarely outside of family... if I knew then what I know now...
 
|
The leaves of memory seemed to make
A mournful rustling in the dark.
It's because of its insignificance is what makes those memories so significant at a now later point in time of your life. While I can relate to the feeling and perhaps even the subsided regret. Even maybe the wish to show a gratitude you never considered to be something worth appreciating, there is a comfort knowing that your younger self had a more mature person being as unconditional and understanding as you are becoming now.
If that makes sense, then I'll just leave with that.
|
On February 15 2012 18:39 Torte de Lini wrote:It's because of its insignificance is what makes those memories so significant at a now later point in time of your life. While I can relate to the feeling and perhaps even the subsided regret. Even maybe the wish to show a gratitude you never considered to be something worth appreciating, there is a comfort knowing that your younger self had a more mature person being as unconditional and understanding as you are becoming now. If that makes sense, then I'll just leave with that.
indeed
|
Mother?
Divorced parents?
You can still show appreciation today, unless of course they've passed away.
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
Just because the story, whatever it may be, didn't have a happy ending doesn't mean it should haunt you. However it may have ended, the fact that you wrote this blog is evidence that your early chapters with this person taught you a lot in the long run and made you a better person.
While it is natural to want to show someone gratitude and appreciation upon realizing that you previously overlooked just how much they did for you, sometimes it just isn't possible because of circumstances.
That isn't necessarily a sad thing though. At least you are wise enough to realize something that so many people blindly overlook.
It's never the end of the road. You always have a chance to write your own story using what you've learned and make sure it has a happy ending.
|
|
|
Smix
United States4549 Posts
On February 15 2012 21:46 FractalsOnFire wrote:
Mother?
Divorced parents?
You can still show appreciation today, unless of course they've passed away.
Mm sometimes it is more complicated than that
On February 15 2012 22:21 Rekrul wrote:
Just because the story, whatever it may be, didn't have a happy ending doesn't mean it should haunt you. However it may have ended, the fact that you wrote this blog is evidence that your early chapters with this person taught you a lot in the long run and made you a better person.
While it is natural to want to show someone gratitude and appreciation upon realizing that you previously overlooked just how much they did for you, sometimes it just isn't possible because of circumstances.
That isn't necessarily a sad thing though. At least you are wise enough to realize something that so many people blindly overlook.
It's never the end of the road. You always have a chance to write your own story using what you've learned and make sure it has a happy ending.
You are the best <3
|
On February 15 2012 20:58 HuK wrote:Show nested quote +On February 15 2012 18:39 Torte de Lini wrote:The leaves of memory seemed to make
A mournful rustling in the dark. It's because of its insignificance is what makes those memories so significant at a now later point in time of your life. While I can relate to the feeling and perhaps even the subsided regret. Even maybe the wish to show a gratitude you never considered to be something worth appreciating, there is a comfort knowing that your younger self had a more mature person being as unconditional and understanding as you are becoming now. If that makes sense, then I'll just leave with that. indeed
Ha, good one.
|
Good writing as usual. I wonder if you ever tried poetry?
On February 15 2012 18:23 Smix wrote:
If I had known, if little me could have possibly understood, I would have thanked you, I would have shed tears of sheer gratitude for the love you showed, that type of unconditional love that's found so rarely outside of family... if I knew then what I know now...
Oh you'll find it eventually. You will be crying tenfold when you do.
|
Smix
United States4549 Posts
On February 16 2012 05:24 ecstatica wrote:Good writing as usual. I wonder if you ever tried poetry? Show nested quote +On February 15 2012 18:23 Smix wrote:
If I had known, if little me could have possibly understood, I would have thanked you, I would have shed tears of sheer gratitude for the love you showed, that type of unconditional love that's found so rarely outside of family... if I knew then what I know now... Oh you'll find it eventually. You will be crying tenfold when you do.
I haven't actually...
And I didn't say it doesn't exist, just that it's harder to find :p and you're right, when you do find it it's so, so beautiful and precious, can't not cry when something so pure is exposed
|
Canada6330 Posts
Oh, typical Korean household =P
After dinner, family gathers in the living room in front of the TV, then there would be fruits for dessert (and sometimes tomato too... wait, is tomato a fruit).
Also, spam is amazing on everything I put that in everything I cook.
Lastly, although a specific reference to a person isn't made here... hope you can cherish the memories and find happiness in those fond moments!
|
Tomato is indeed a fruit - it has seeds.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
