EPTI carried out playing games , through out my life even during my college day's when I was taking my diploma , I had friends , good times hanging out with my friends , it's good also to know about the opposite sex , but thing's didn't go the way I wanted and It never went further beyond friends . Here I am back to square one playing games . As a counter strike fan from my younger days , I just love the adrenaline rush I get from playing FPS games be it Halo , Cs 1.6 or Cs source as long there is huge amount of fire fight . You can count me to be there .
Now continuing my Counter strike Journey , I can say I have never reach even to the level of amateur , more like a total newbie to the game , however than I discovered Cs Source , played it a while for fun , than I realized there was a local server called FsN team . Fast forward , I played there more frequently and I practice harder to win these so called " Good players " . With each hours I pour in to my shooting skills and reflex , I got better , I downloaded more replays and even watch Got Frag coverage on CGS .
Watching KSharp, Frod, Dominator duking out on dust_2 and inferno , the tactics was amusing , not only I realized that I wanted to become like them . I decided to block out real life and paid more attention to this "crazed" that boiled in me . I got better of course in my shooting skill , from a noob , I was recognized by the singaporeans who frequently pub's in matches , I was immediately picked when ever they saw my name on the spectator screen .
I never got so angry on my life , when one of this kid , screwed me up so badly , said in a really bad manner tone that I might as well delete the game , Phen goes by his nick name , after losing to him count less time , I watched how he played the game , He was of course more superior than me in everything , game sense , strategy , shooting skill , he could handle the awp really well and his shots are accurate . So I tried to imitate him , practice countless hours on death match , till I can't even feel my fingers any more . I continued this for a very long time . Until I could handle the damn AWP with great accuracy and suddenly my favourite hand gun become really deadly . My objective was clear to beat this Phen guy and make him say my name ....
Who need's an AWP , when I could take down every target with a single head shot from a Deagle ? Making come back ? I did it a whole lot in scrim matches , even against "so called pro cs teams from singapore " . However no matter how much I tried to join the team FsN , I was rejected on the basis that I can't hold out for their team and I was just too bad . However , there was a chance of me entering the team when they decided to make a third team .
FsN .3g was the name , during my recruitment , leading the team was Nitrate and Speed was second in command , Me i was merely some grunt ( my only purpose was to get kills and become bait ) , Dark and Undertaker . It was great finally I was in the pro team , we practised , positions and strategy , 3,1,1 , 4,1 if that numbers confuse you , Just take example on a map dust 2 , you are playing as the terrorist , if the strat was 3,1,1 , you send 3 guys in B tunnel waiting for the , guy in mid to smoke up and the other guy at 1 at alley door to watch for back stab , Mid guy who smoke the mid will than try to fake a push to bomb site A . Who than once the mid guy give's the go all of us would have pushed bomb site B .
The guy at alley would also try to back stab the CT's from alley . However all strategy was not perfect , Some times it did work , Some times it doesn't and that is the price of using a really safe strats because player will get familiar to the strategy and just might as well allow you take bomb site for B for all they care and blind you with 4 flash bang's in your eye and it's an instant win for them .My issue with my team is , We never lacked in Fire Power , however communication with my younger players such as Dark and undertaker was a huge problem , They Considered me as some arrogant douchebag for ordering them around . When I was just merely correcting their play . Speed was some time offline , Nitrate was also busy .
Although over clouded with passion , with my overzealous craziness for this game cs source , I stayed up late from night to early morning only to repeat this mad cycle that I believe I will become a cs source pro gamer one day . FsN 3G started to fall apart when we couldn't win matches that were assigned by the person managing FsN . In order for FsN 3G to be accepted to the FsN team it has to win their most boasted line up of players . Main team line up's were for FsN were Han,Oxide,teQuila , KC , WC .
My team started out fairly well in the CT Team getting win's for the score was about 3-0 to them , thing's turn around when were asked to play as the terrorist , not only were we caught with our pants down when tried to go for our favourite strats as a Terrorist , which is the 3,1,1 . They simply just waited for us to do the fake and pushed us out from the mid . Main team players were seriously good , each player not only having superior accuracy , having specialized in their weapons due to countless training and experience , we got out gunned , as every time we got the bomb down , we just can't hold the flashes and with our lack of numbers . the game was 16-7 .
Team FsN 3.G was finally disbanded and only nitrate and Speed was considered to be of "FsN" material and that left me thinking , what the hell have I spend all my time for on this game ? ,I screwed up my papers in my degree , I finally drop out , Life seems meaning less after that , I thought to my self , If i haven't blindly followed my passion and gone with this childish thought , I would have graduated and become a proud person right now . As time pass , each of my universities mates , graduated .
I am left alone , no where to go , my dad set it out on the table straight " It's either you Study or Go Work " , Which do you want ? I put you to college so you could study , not wasting time's on game ?. As time goes on my parent's finally allowed me to study again, of course I was happy that I was given a second shot to clear all this mistakes . All the excuses I was giving during my whole life time , that even to the point I was blaming my parents for not giving me the proper direction . I was the one who decided to go all in to the game and drop out my studies , I was the one who made the call to study a course that I never Intended to do so .
So what do you want to study now ? tell me ! was what my dad said to me , Well since I was average at math's although I excel at all theory papers . Math's was never my thing and I decided to study Law with the university of london . Sure it was hard to re adjust normal daily life , no longer do I spend hours in the dark room trying to perfect my shooting skill , there were all past which I want to forget and I never ever wanted to do the same mistake .
I think can I say it was fun for a time being , having crazy dreams like playing with the big teams one day , making money from playing the game you love , In the end did I get what I wanted to do for a living ? . No , I didn't , Now thinking of my gaming career and time that I have spend on gaming , It was seriously a waste of time , time's that I could have used to improve my self and make a career for my self .
Currently, I just managed to make it through the intermediate stage of the LLB course and now I am having a tough time in my Part 1 . I think that passionate me is still some where although more directed in my studies now days . Although I still hated losing very much as I did back than . I just want to make sure , that I will follow through with my studies and get that Degree because I know with my LLB , I have a chance of becoming a Lawyer which isn't bad at all . My parent's are growing older and I am not getting younger , I will give my best to ensure that I will make it through the LLB degree .
I think one can learn from my experience , that if you are merely just want to be a wannabe at a game and try to go pro while juggling with studies . You are asking for it , you either go all out for it or just drop it and move on with your life . I don't think I can ever play cs in my life again , never again.......
