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My girlfriend has a 2 year old son. Her ex is a total piece of shit. Abusive, manipulative, cokehead, alcoholic, cheater, etc. Total fucking scumbag. When she left him, he didn't give two flying fucks about her, or their son. Never bothered to call, try and visit his son, hasn't paid her a dime in child support (and he makes a metric shit-ton of money).
Recently, due to the court ordering him to actually pay her some money, he demanded a DNA test. Just to make it that much more difficult. There was no doubt he was the father.
DNA test came back. It's 99.9999% certain he's the dad.
I've been with her long enough that he's started calling me dad. I have no problem with this. I'd rather be a positive role-model and a good dad to this wonderful little boy than have this fucking scumbag poison him with his attitude, his irresponsibility, his anger, his short temperedness, and his habits.
He sued her for visitation rights. We are completely sure that he's only doing this out of spite. To either hurt him, or her. He got the rights. He's going to be in my house, and I have to step out so they can have their time together.
I feel sick to my stomach. Do I even have a right to be concerned though? I'm feeling really confused and defensive and threatened and angry that this was allowed to happen. There's no way he'd pass a drug test whatsoever. I understand that it's "his" son, but he walked out on them, treated them like garbage, abandoned his child.
Argh!
edit: spelling
 
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I use to think there were a lot of good people in this world.
Then I started working and learned about life
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On December 08 2011 04:48 HardBridge wrote:
I use to think there were a lot of good people in this world.
Then I started working and learned about life
morality is in the eyes of the beholder, there are plenty of "good" people in the world just as there are plenty of "bad" people in the world its just how you view each one
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That's a tough situation, I'm sorry. Unfortunately the law screws up sometimes, and there's just nothing you can do. All you can do is offer your girlfriend any emotional support she may need and make sure she is able to stand up to her ex and not be intimidated by him.
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Does he pay child support now? If not I wonder how he won the visitiation rights case in court.
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Well, everyone deserves a second (or third, etc) chance. Seeing his own kid turn out to be a better person than he is might make him reflect on his doucheyness and make him change. It sucks that your kid will learn that his biological father is someone like him, but when you and your gf bring him up well, I see no reason to be concerned.
Just don't purposely antagonize him or anything, and you guys will be alright.
Good luck!
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Hey man its ok what your feeling now, im sure it will get easier as time goes on. Its a good thing that the guy is trying to see his son even if its for the wrong reasons. Personally my father left me when i was one and never met him. I think theres no harm in him coming over, just remember to be the better man!!! I think it will work out for you friend. GL <3
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Cant she demand drug testing as part of visitation?
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When you feel like your son have grown old enough to understand, tell him everything.
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Sorry bro, but I think that you have to step aside for the law a bit. I believe it may be possible to ask a judge for a drug test of some kind and then go through the route that he may be harmful to the daughter. That is the only way I can think to keep him away.
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Watch the last parts of Season 1 Dexter. Should solve your problem.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
eww that's gross. i can't even imag- UGH. you can't be there to supervise when he's there? considering how spiteful he seems, i would be really uncomfortable letting him have free reign in the house.
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So give an anonymous tip that he's a cokehead and ask DHS to give him a drug test. Then he won't come near you or your family. That's what I would do.
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This is why when you find out a girl has a kid you run in the other direction.
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Kind of funny that you bitch about him doing drugs when :
On December 07 2011 05:11 HackBenjamin wrote:Probably the best post in this thread. Mushrooms are an incredibly mind-opening experience. I learned tons about myself on a mushroom trip, plus shit was glowing and had trails. Good times 
And you smoke weed too. I guess those don't count as drugs anymore?
Kid sounds fucked either way.
User was warned for this post
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I don't think theres much you can do, the guys a total scumbag but it is his son. Blood runs deeps he could care for his child, but of course it could be like you said this guy could be doing just out of spite. I think your in a difficult position although i can't tell you the right answer. I would just tell you to believe that you and your gf will raise this child to be smart enough to know good decisions from bad decisions. The guy probably gets what a few hours a week with the child? You get all the rest, raise the child as if it were your own and i'm sure the child will learn one day the struggles his parents had to go through to give him the best life.
Good Luck!
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he might think of you the same way you think of him :O
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
On December 08 2011 07:43 Kurr wrote:Kind of funny that you bitch about him doing drugs when : Show nested quote +On December 07 2011 05:11 HackBenjamin wrote:Probably the best post in this thread. Mushrooms are an incredibly mind-opening experience. I learned tons about myself on a mushroom trip, plus shit was glowing and had trails. Good times And you smoke weed too. I guess those don't count as drugs anymore? Kid sounds fucked either way.
he didn't bitch about the guy doing drugs. he specified 'cokehead'. anyone that has any experience with weed or shrooms knows that "drugs" is the stupidest lump umbrella term. coke is a different beast. cool uninformed post
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I'd install some hidden cameras in the meeting area. Just in case. As long as he treads the kid right give him a chance. If anything comes up, he seems drunk, drugged or anything else go to court and have his rights removed.
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Embrace the philosophy of MOAR.
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EPT
