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On November 29 2011 10:01 Autofire2 wrote:
Hmmm honestly I would find an unsocial roommate annoying as well, but that would be my problem. And Zalz, you had a couple good points but what's up with the "your fun was more important than theirs" guilt trip? He made a decision to do what HE wanted with HIS time, its not like he owes them "bro time" or whatever the hell. If they're upset because someone's roommate won't hang with them, they're the ones with issues. They're roommates, not spouses.
It sounds like he's perfectly polite, not at all ANTIsocial, just UNsocial sometimes. His call, surely?
He doesn't sound in the least bit polite. His friend came to him perfectly rational and all he could produce was a handfull of snide comments, anything to distract the conversation from his addiction. Come on let's talk about anything except how much time i spent behind a computer!
My entire point with that "their fun, your fun" bit was to point out he was being selfish.
He wants to have fun, he spends the majority of his life behind a computer because this is the most fun he can imagine having with his time. You know what, i wouldn't do it but to each his own, if he is happy sitting behind a computer, go do that 24/7.
But his friends are making it clear that they would have more fun if they had a social roommate that took part in the day to day activities like hanging out and watching TV or a movie.
So why is his fun more important? Why is their fun more important?
The answer is that the friend had it right. He should go out and leave the house and get his own place. He doesn't need to have friends living in the house, he doesn't hang out with them anyway.
If he gets his own place then he can just go out once a week to get groceries and then lock the door for the rest of the week.
His friends can get a roommate who's favorite activity is to "bro out" and then everyone will be happier.
Everyone will get the most fun they can imagine. Him with his computer. His friends with their new roommate. So like i said, the friend had the best idea for everyone. I don't agree with spending the ammount of time on the comp that he does but it's his own life and i don't have any say in the matter. All i can say is that it's not fair of him to demand that others adapt to him whilst he refuses to adapt to them. If he gets his own place, that all goes away.
Sidenote, kind of disturbing how some people would actually get violent if someone approached them with a very normal and very rational face to face. People get anxious when you point out the elephant in the room and it seems some TL members might even get violent if you point towards the gaming addicted elephant in the room.
Because if we don't talk about your problem, then there isn't a problem right?
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I thought friends accept each other for who they are. I think that you two just grew apart, and therefor the friendship is harder to see.
Either one of you two should move out, because I do not see that lasting long 
I think it's better to find roommates who have similar interests or someone who accepts what you like to do most.
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
Wow tough story i can kind of relate to this.
I have been gaming since i was about 13/14 since i discovered a pool website i played online for money with alot of people i now and still do call good mates. One of them is like my best friend now as we do absolutely all gaming together and are on MSN like 90% of the week together.
I when growing up was a sporty guy, played all sports, mostly football outside of school as i was on thie best team in the country and we won numerous cups, but this all came to an end in the final year of high school when we all left and i didn't persue football to adult level because Sunday mornings where a huge nono, i could barely get up at 12 on a sunday to go play football at 1:30 i was not going to get up @ 9am to go play!! (Wish i did now tbh im pretty unfit, not fat just unfit)
But this all stemmed down from me really discovering gaming @ 12 and literally only going out of the house to play football training and football matches on saturday and sunday afternoon. I never told anyone i did this, i always blagged i was doing this and that and once a month i might go out with my mates from football but thats about it.
I got into heavy internet gambling at the age of 16 (14 i was playing online pool for money) unlike the pool this was poker and was playing a good $100 a month winning alot with my mate at first but within 2months i was $200 in debt to (paypal) because pool company went bust and couldnt pay up to me. I had no job, no income and i was in debt..i was frigging 16 man and i was in debt lol now i look back on it i think wow...your pretty lucky that didnt bite u in the ass.
Due to paypal being paypal they never really came asking for the money, and gradually the money would trickle in from the pool company and i managed to clear the debt within a month and continued gaming and not socilasing much.
High school finished and i thought meh ill go to college do a sports course with a couple close mates of mine so i did, became even more involved with gaming (hardcorely on WoW..stupid game cant stop playing it) and i continued to lie to friends and saying i had plans and to just continue to game and go to the pub maybe tops twice a week and continue to game. I then eventually got addicted to WoW so badly that i didnt turn up to college for 2 weeks when Wrath of Lich King expansion came out ( i dont even know why i did this lol ) so eventually my teacher rang my mum up and said where is he? Is he ill, and she replied no he should be there. Short story, i got kicked out of college my mum absolutely ripped into me and said you find a job or everyday from 9am to 5pm wen we wake up u get kicked out of the house and the door locked.
Reality kind of hits you then, so i thought ffs no computer must find job. A KFC was being built at this time in Worcester (England) first time in our county let alone city so it was a big thing (huge facebook group etc) i thought fuck it ill apply and hopefully i get the job and i can go back to gaming. I got the job easily enough and went to work (very shit very boring awful smell i dont recommend it) after 3 months i was made a manager in the busiest store in the country (For the first 3 months) i lasted ther just under 2 years after being made manager, but it was just supporting my gaming, i had very little outgoings apart from my car so even though i was on £200 a week i was banking after all things going out like £600 a month and buying a new computer or xbox every 2/3 months just because i could and that was rather stupid when i look back on it! But still along with the life i went.
I got really annoyed @ KFC constantly complaining to my parents about the smell and the awful community that KFC had. Eventually my dad offered me a job in the office of his tyre buisness (he is joint partnership in a major firm so i was set). Im now 21 and been here just under 2 years and its even easier than kfc because..i can watch GSL/DreamHack/IEM and streams all at work with little fuss because no one knows how to use a computer properly so i can hide things they never know. This is a pefect life...or is it?
Like you instead of my best friend telling me the things he told you, i have my brother and my family who make sly remarks about me and my gaming life and find it stupidly weird and reclusive. But they just dont understand E-Sports community is nothing different to the football community in England, whats the difference between the EG Fan Club and the Chelsea FC Fan Club? Nothing, apart from the sport!
So i guess the point im not really making with all this writting is, until we get the world to recognise this E-Sports community, we will never be accepted into the social world by the ones who think we are reclusive.
You should NEVER EVER stop doing what you want to do, if you enjoy gaming you game my friend, you find ways to support it. You have one life, you live it the way you want to do it. What you should do, move back in with your mum until you can find a way to support a house/flat. Your mum wont throw you out, maybe be annoyed at you, but if you pay her $100 a month rent or something she might not mind you staying a month or 3 before you find a place. But make sure you look! And GOOD LUCK!! I have similar experiences, apart from i will never be kicked out of my house for all the gaming i do
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On November 29 2011 17:43 zalz wrote:
Sidenote, kind of disturbing how some people would actually get violent if someone approached them with a very normal and very rational face to face. People get anxious when you point out the elephant in the room and it seems some TL members might even get violent if you point towards the gaming addicted elephant in the room.
Only with a similar roommate I've had in the past. If I had one like him in the future I wouldn't hesitate like I did with him (never actually started a fight). A lot of times what seems "rational" to one person can be highly offensive to another. If someone comes up to you and tells you that you deserve no respect, even indirectly, then you're free to punch.
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I never realised that you have an obligation to socialize with your roommates friends (to zalz). I had a roommate for 1.5 years and we both just lived our normal lives doing whatever we do and if we wanted to hang out, sure, if not, maybe next time no problem. We had a pretty big apartment though and we're a tad older but tbh i think your roommate sounds like a douche and maybe you should move out if you guys don't get along anymore.
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zalz wrote:"he spends the majority of his life behind a computer because this is the most fun he can imagine having with his time."
"You know what, i wouldn't do it but to each his own, if he is happy sitting behind a computer, go do that 24/7"
"he can just go out once a week to get groceries and then lock the door for the rest of the week."
"I don't agree with spending the ammount of time on the comp"
"Come on let's talk about anything except how much time i spent behind a computer!"
"You said you never told anyone about your gaming before and you also said that it has been pretty much all your life has been about"
"You missing all the signs whilst you locked yourself in your room or your friends never ever giving off even the slightest of a hint?"
"If you want to sit behind a computer all day then go sit behind a computer all day on your own because it's obvious you don't need anyone else."
"Everything you said seems to hint at you being a shut in that only wants to play video games."
"Whenever people point out that you invest way too much time into videogames you just go full on self-defence."
"It's easier to just pretend like everyone is out to get you rather then face the facts that you are 19 years old and have wasted the early parts of your youth by playing an unhealthy ammount of videogames."
"Pull that computer off the wall, plug it out. See how hollow that life of yours is without it and wonder if it's really healthy to invest that much of your life into any single thing."
oh lawdy, dat projection.
Ignoring OP's destroyed life, debilitating addiction, and incorrect unhealthy appalling usage of his free time, I would have to say evidence points to his interests and lifestyle clashing with his friend's.
The only thing I don't understand is why they ended up blindsiding you suddenly with their decision. If you weren't missing signs left and right I think the whole situation went down wrong and your friends are pretty immature.
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On November 29 2011 17:43 zalz wrote:
My entire point with that "their fun, your fun" bit was to point out he was being selfish.
But his friends are making it clear that they would have more fun if they had a social roommate that took part in the day to day activities like hanging out and watching TV or a movie.
So why is his fun more important? Why is their fun more important?
The answer is that the friend had it right. He should go out and leave the house and get his own place. He doesn't need to have friends living in the house, he doesn't hang out with them anyway.
I agree with most of your points but not the on I quoted because of one thing.
If his rommates can't have a "fun" activity without him than they are just stupid and don't have a real "fun activity".
I would even say that it is the "most fun activity they can think of". And watching TV vs SC2...I mean it's not like TV is a real activity...
They should consider that him around eventually having fun with them as a "bonus" because if their "fun" depends on someone else than they aren't logical enough to understand that they don't have a "fun activity".
For me it's more them being selfish than him...!
On November 29 2011 17:43 zalz wrote:
He wants to have fun, he spends the majority of his life behind a computer because this is the most fun he can imagine having with his time. You know what, i wouldn't do it but to each his own, if he is happy sitting behind a computer, go do that 24/7.
Pretty biased isn't it ? It's maybe your opinion but you shouldn't consider playing a lot of games being inferior to other activities (watching TV...Oo).
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On November 29 2011 08:13 zalz wrote:
Pull that computer off the wall, plug it out. See how hollow that life of yours is without it and wonder if it's really healthy to invest that much of your life into any single thing.
We all invest a lot of time into one thing or another, it's just a matter of what we invest our time into and if we take that away we'll all have a hollow void to fill. Hell, investing time into our jobs isn't necessarily that healthy but we all do it, and if that job goes away, most people feel lost for a bit during the day.
Also I sit in front of a computer for at least 8, a lot of time more, hours day due to how my job works, like most people in the work now. Then I come home and use my computer a bit for non-work related things, meaning I'm on a computer for at least 10-12 hours a day. Would you say that I need to change my life style and all? Unplug my computers and stow away?
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Most people associate home with a very comfortable environment. To have a comfortable relationship with your housemates you need to socialize with them.
Although you may not realize it, but you shutting yourself away and avoiding any sort of social activity with them makes them feel uncomfortable to the point where they have asked you to leave...Can you imagine how much someone would have to piss you off to make you want to kick them out.
It's good that you enjoy gaming, but it sounds like you're ruining your life for a few cheap thrills. Dropping out of collage and barely passing school because of gaming is messed up. Most people play video games, alot, during collage. Yet I can't imagine too many completely abandoning their studies to play more games.
Moderation is key. Not only will you enjoy it more when you can play, but you might also smile when the computer is turned off once and a while.
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Ah that sucks the fact you hid it from your friends really sucks and probably why he thinks its weird. I am somewhat similar to you in the fact that other then school/work I am on the computer most of the time. My friends go to colleges out of state, or 8 hours away so I only see them christmas break, summer, and spring break. So most of my time is spent on the computer on teamliquid, playing games and what not.
I graduated 2 years ago but I was not ready for college. I have always had a bad attitude towards school (especially high school) just was retarded and seemed to me like a waste of time (I still think high school was a waste but to go to college have to graduate high school!). But after high school like I said was just not ready for college and I took the year off. I was actually very nervous to tell my dad this when I came to my decision of this as I wasn't sure how he would react even though like everyone in my family took 6 months to a full year off of school before going to college.
I told my dad and he didn't like it but he understood and didn't bother me about it, let alone he was like that is fine but I could tell he wanted me to go but wasn't going to force me. He knew how much I hated school and I think that is why he never really tried to make me change my mind as he knew I would go back when I said I would (I am one of those people where when I say I will do something I do it 99% of the time).
Now I had a job but I only worked 10-20 hours a week depending on how movies were doing. Can you guess what type of job I had? Actually still have? Thats right a movie theater job which is actually kind of shitty due to such random hours but great for high school. During my year off I tried to get a new job to work 40 hours a week for a year but that went to hell and honestly I am surprised my dad kind of let it slide. I tried getting a job but I gave up after a couple months (I had 1 interview the entire year at fred meyer and didn't get the job T_T). So on my free time I was playing lots of games, vent, etc kind of sounds like we are the same in that aspect.
The thing that surprises me as my dad never really bugged me. I can tell he kind of worries how much time I spend on the computer but he doesn't bug me about it or say anything he just lets me do it. I know he worries I am depressed so I think that might be another reason he doesn't really bother me about it and lets me do what I do idk but its kind of nice not to be pestered by it or have snide comments at. Hell my dad could kick me out of the house but he doesn't (thank god).
Last year I literally worked 10 hours a week for 8 months and then worked 25-30 hours a week for 3 months and now back to 10-15 hours until christmas vacation xD.
I feel for you because in general I am in a situation like yours except I am going to school now (year went really fucking fast...) doing my shitty job with shitty hours so still have a lot of free time even with school lol but I couldn't imagine my friends, let alone family ripping on me for what I do as it probably would put me into a depression if my family kept ripping on me for what I do when its no different when they watch the TV or whatever.
Just don't get depressed by it and it sucks that had to happen hopefully you can kind of move in a small apartment by yourself or something and eventually go back to school if you want but don't let it get you to down, honestly I think your friends a douche to do that and sucks it happened but don't let it get you down!
On a side note sorry for the wall of text in your blog >>.
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I read the whole thing. Good read. Fuck em. Be your own man if they won't accept that maybe it is time to move on. I am also 19 and have had several types of friends in my life but only 1-2 are real permanent friends through thick and thin and that's all I need, if that and one is my brother so I'm not even sure that really counts,
BTW I go to school/university for accounting but I have a studio apartment just for this reason. Fuck roommates. I smoke weed. I game. I do basically whatever I want. Freedom is fantastic. U should check into it.
Oh and if you're looking for a career that does not involve to much social interaction well... I just named it above that's why I'm doing it.
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EPT
