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cmen15
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States1519 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-29 15:54:03
November 28 2011 21:50 GMT
#1
Dear TL,

Yesterday after coming back from thanksgiving break, one of my roommates said he needed to talk to me. I didn"t really think of it and gladly sat down and asked him whats up. I was not ready at all for what came next, as he started firing off at me....

But before I get to the juice of the story, I should share some background so people better under-
stand me. First off my name is David, I am nineteen and right now live with two roommates fifteen minutes away from URI(aka University of Rhode Island). Let me say that since i got my first game-boy, I have been addicting to video games. When I received my first computer in 7th grade, I'm pretty sure I cried for a good ten minutes lol. From then on I was on my computer playing everyday, this as a result had serous effect's on my grades. As towards the end of middle school and high school i did god awful. I mean I barley graduated in 12th grade, now most would assume that this kid must be a fckin dumb ass. I mean come on HS is a joke, well sad truth is i didn't care at all. I would come home everyday play games and talk on vent with my friends I had made over the years. My mom would ground me and scream, even threaten to send me away. But i truly didn't give a fuck, I used every trick in the book to get around her lol. I had multiple mouses, keyboards and even a few fifty foot Ethernet cables. People may wonder why didn't my mom move the whole computer, well lucky for me my uncle had bought me one of the orginal dell XPS's. This bad boy was hugeeeee, and covered in steal not plastic. It was a bitch to move so I was covered here hehe.

Now here comes the first twist, growing up i was not proud at all of my gaming life. In fact i was a
massive lurker gamer, no one in my school new i played video games. Even my closer friends who i grew upwith didn't fully know how much time i put in on the computer. Was i proud of this shit? Hell no, looking back i wish i didn't give a fuck about girls or fitting in. It wasn't until one of my friends showed me this great site, that i truly started to be proud of my nerdness. I have everyone to thank on this site from the troll's to the big four, five digit boys who have given me endless information and laughs. Since the first moment i made my TL account coming up on almost a year I have spent every morning and evening browsing the forums. Yes I was a TL lurker for most the year but I think it was good to learn and watch what others said. I don't plan on getting banned anytime soon : )


Sadly this is when the story gets sad and I must get to my point of why i made this blog in the first place. After HS I tried to go to college but had very bad results, it wasn't the freedom or drugs, or parties. No it was me not giving a shit about my work and playing too much god dam sc2. I decided that school right now was not for me and with that I got my first real job. My family has a connect with a company called Dale Pro audio in NYC, and it just happened they had a opening cause one of their people was going back to school.(ironic don't you think) Anyway the amazing thing about this job is i can work from anywhere as long as I have internet, and a phone. I pretty much work for the salesman finding out about the order's and checking ETA's.This gave me the freedom to get away from new york which i have been trying to do since i was a little kid. The job is a 9:30 - 5:30, five days a week. I must be on Aim and have my phone by me at all times which
pretty much means... guess what???? Im on my computer all day at home lolol. I won't lie at times it can be very stressful. I can have a lot of people asking me questions at the same time, and if i mess up it could be losses for thousands of dollars. However there are times when things are more quieter and i get to enjoy the finer things in life, like reading forums and watching steams. With that all in mind, Before the school year started one my best friends for ten years now said he needed a third roommate up at URI. I jumped at the chance, it sounded like a great idea. I would work during the week and on the weekend go out and see what URI was about. Up until yesterday i thought things were going well.. There have been zero fights or problems in the house. I usually go out on the weekends and we all have a good time.


The conversation.....

Sorry about the huge amount of text i have wrote, if you have made it this far I thank you very much!! I am up writing this now at four in the mourning because I cant sleep tonight. My mind is swirling thoughts around in my head like a vortex. Finally... My roommate's said to me that I am not being social enough in the house, that they do not like me working from home. They think its weird that I am not going to school and apparently their friends think so also. They think that i should leave the house and move back home because quote "you are not fitting in with our friends". They say that I am playing to much on the computer and its not right... I looked into my best friends eyes and saw no friend i knew. There was a time when he would always say you have to accept people for who they are but i guess that's not always the case is it. When i said what the fuck do you guys mean,they gave me some amazing fckin examples..

roommate : "well man when some of our friends come over you never watch TV with us"
me: i have to watch tv with you guys when ever you have friends over?
roommate : ignoring the questing " there is a growing void between us and it may be good for you to leave"
me: your at the library 6hrs a day until 10oclock, what would like me to do?
roommate : "your playing to much video games, its not right or healthy for you"
me: your smoking cig's everyday now....


This went on for a good 30 minutes, of him going off on me. I didn't say much, cause i was too joked up. These were some of the first people I've let see my gaming life and they can't stand it. They didn't understand what, gaming and esports meant to me : ( I kept a strong face though refusing to show weakness to them and went to my room where i begin to try and understand what i did wrong. It made no sense in my mind, i always went out on the weekends. I was always to nice to anyone that came over, even kids i didn't really like. I always played with headphones and never made any noise. TL I wrote this because i really have no one else to tell my story to,sadly you are all I've got when it comes to this kind of stuff. This was one of the hardest thing I've done in awhile, I haven't written this much since like 10th grade lol pretty sad i know... Anyway I'm looking for some advise and kind words to help me out <3 I don't really have a lot of options because my mom will not let me stay home for more then a week or so. Thank You to everyone who has read this, im sure it wasn't pretty. Im not a very good writer and a worse speller

Thank You again,

David lager

P.S. shutout to Ryan aka Juked, one of the best boys i know!

P.S. If my situation doesn't get better i will need a place to live lol, may be looking for a room to rent between
400-600$ a month.(we will see *^* )

EDIT: Thanks so far for that people that have posted, I wasn't going to lie about how some of the conversion went down. Some people think it was rude, I wasn't really thinking straight at the time i will admit but i don't think i was violent lolol like someone said.

****
Greed leads to just about all losses.
Geosensation
Profile Joined March 2011
United States256 Posts
November 28 2011 21:57 GMT
#2
your friend sounds like a middle school girl. Honestly, you sound like a pretty good roommate, unless there is something you are omitting like extremely dirty or rude or something like that. Your main mistake was living with a judgmental asshole.
"My life for Aiur!"
Imperium11
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States279 Posts
November 28 2011 22:07 GMT
#3
Yeah dude, you can try and reason with him, but failing that, just ignore him. I went through a similar thing with my roommate disapproving of the amount of games I played. In the end, he let it drop when I reminded him that it was my hobby which I was free to pursue, and that it shouldn't bother him because it didn't interfere with his life. You are free to make your own choices, and however good/bad they may be, it is not the place of your roommate to dictate to you if they are acceptable, as long as they aren't affecting his life (and I can't see how gaming could do that).
juked
Profile Joined May 2010
United States691 Posts
November 28 2011 22:15 GMT
#4
I've know this guy for a good portion of my life and I can vouch he has not done anything rude or wrong to deserve this. He just lives a life he happy with an that's really what we all want. Gaming to some people seems wierd, or just being on the computer is a foreign concept to some. This does not mean one has to be discriminated or hated on because they have different hobbies/interests. I have not met a person that has had a problem with David as hes easy going and very happy person(expect when playing LoL) .I'm class right now and will definitely keep thinking bout this.

David come live me with me next year. Well make a gaming house (MLG 2012 let's go!)
wrekkless
Profile Joined June 2011
Canada87 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-28 22:17:01
November 28 2011 22:15 GMT
#5
On November 29 2011 06:57 Geosensation wrote:
your friend sounds like a middle school girl. Honestly, you sound like a pretty good roommate, unless there is something you are omitting like extremely dirty or rude or something like that. Your main mistake was living with a judgmental asshole.


Pretty much.

I have a somewhat similar story...

I live with a friend I met through a BF2 clan, and we're both pretty heavy gamers. We played D&D with a group of mutual friends and it would always be a good time unless my roommate decided to be assanine about something. (That's a rant I wont go into here.) A year or so ago Final Fantasy 14 came out. He played it for a few months then dropped it because "the game is basically a beta." He left it for a few patches then picked it up, since then he has quit playing D&D with us, doesn't smoke up with us anymore (We're fairly big stoners), and has lost his job. He's now depending on our other roommate to buy him food and pay for rent. Luckily the other roommate can pay for all this though. He has stopped bathing regularly, and some days when he comes into my room to show me a funny video or something he stinks up my room for an hour or two. It's kind of nice that he's always around if I need to talk to someone about something, but his lifestyle isn't really that good for him.


He also leaves all my fucking plates in his room dirty for weeks on end. Anyway, he's become fairly distant to everyone that we both know. I think as long as you're not doing any of the things that he's doing/has done you'll be fine.

Hell if it comes down to you needing a new place you'll probably be better off without him. Just let the person you're moving in with next know that you're a gamer first.




*Edit*
On November 29 2011 07:15 juked wrote:David come live me with me next year. Well make a gaming house (MLG 2012 let's go!)


Can I come!?
Knowledge is power, so use that Observer!
English
Profile Joined April 2010
United States475 Posts
November 28 2011 22:19 GMT
#6
Is he trying to make the apartment a frat house? A roommate is not obliged to be a "bro" unless you live in a frat house. Sounds like he's having trouble accepting you and getting caught up in his own view of a college life.
IcyPringle
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Canada210 Posts
November 28 2011 22:23 GMT
#7
It always sucks when you think your life is just dandy, your hoping down the street happy as can be and then boom, all of a sudden someone drops a bomb like that on you and you have to take a second to look back at your life and go wtf? I've seen people that do their friend's when I was the one coming over and it made me loss all respect for that person so I can just imagine how you must feel about that crap. That's no friend that's for sure, what kind of clique is he running in that house, its like take a drag or gtfo... ruins your whole day for a moment but don't fret man, this is the start of something twice as good, because for the longest time you've been living in a lie and now you know wtf is up and you can make the best of it and move on cause that sounds like a douche of a house it live in anyways.
SC2: IcyPringle.137 - Terran
unichan
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States4223 Posts
November 28 2011 22:31 GMT
#8
That sucks. My friends have always been weirdly curious about my game life, but I don't know what would happen if they actually had to experience it. My advice? Find a gamer house! Maybe you can find a nice community of gamers already to take you in. Seems like someone already made a post about that too. Your friend sounds like a douche, don't worry about it too much ^_^. I wouldn't live with someone who smokes, either anyways.
:)
actionbastrd
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Congo598 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-28 22:54:34
November 28 2011 22:44 GMT
#9
lol.

That was my first response to all of this. They are the type of people to say - if someone is not doing what i do, they are wrong and it is not right, in life, to do anything other than what i do. Its stupid. Watching TV with people you are not friends with is more important than doing what you want to do? Honestly fuck'em. You can find better people to be friends with.

The first place i lived in, i lived with a good 4 people. I barely left my room. I was friends with 1 of the people. We had no issues. A good roommate does not mean a social roommate. It means clean, quiet when required and well not an asshole. It has nothing to do with watching TV in the living room. The house i lived in - we all hung out maybe 3 times a month or when one of us threw a party at the place. It just blows my mind that you could even get that close to people like this.

The best way to live life is by being yourself to everyone. EVERYONE. Sure there are instances where you have to do a little acting - customer service, to you boss. Things like that. But to people around you, friends, family you should not have to hide anything. If they dont like you for who you are fuck'em. Dont surround yourself with people who only like you when you are pretending to be something your not - or removing a part of you that they might not take part in.

It took me a long time to actually put that into practice tho and at the end of the day, you will feel better about yourself 10 fold.

I cant imagine what my reaction would be if i had friends that did this to me. I would probably laugh in their face, point out how i am happy with my life and how what they are doing is absolutely pointless to begin with. The value of what you do in life isnt measured by how much tv you get to watch with friends, or even how many "friends" you have. It isnt measured by how much money you blew on school, or what job you end up getting, its about how you feel deep inside about yourself. I have about 4 friends, i know about 10ppl i could probably call and hang out with. It seems these people are in the category of people you know, and not friends.

My suggestion is keep working if you dont want to go to school - move out somewhere, even on your own at first is fine. Living by yourself can be epic after awhile - at first it is weird being the only one around tho but it is absolutely fantastic. The down side with your work is you dont meet co-workers, but im sure you can figure something out to meet people who wont judge you over something as trivial as time on the computer.

All the comments here will be bias tho since we all love out computer games - but i can honestly say i would never be friends with someone who judged me based on how much i am on the computer because thats kind of thing is irrelevant to a friendship.

-----They are acting like you dont live there. A friend calls me up im down to go hang out with them, i will even leave in the middle of a match. If i live with them? It is a whole different story. It is not like you dont see them all the time. You are not obligated to hang out with them at all times. You live there, your not over for a visit to chill. People like that annoy the crap out of me. Live and let live, just because someone has different priorities does not make them not right or strange. -----

Out of my 4 real friends, 2 are girls 2 are guys, 1 is a punk rocker who cooks for his profession - loves doing it, 1 is a metal head/gamer who is about to go to school for air traffic control (maybe ;P), 1 is black and parties like no other, and one is just an old friend - i dont think we relate on much at all honestly lol yet she is the one i talk to the most. Not one of these people has ever judged me based on how much i am on my computer - and all of them truly know how much of a nerd i am haha.

If they cant be your friend just because your "different" from their way of life, its time to burn that bridge in my opinion. Perhaps thats too harsh? But that is how i roll.

Sorry if i come off a little mean - but ppl who judge that hard are so epically annoying and it is just because they dont understand anything other than what they do and are ignorant. Ppl hate on differences - always have and always will. If you dont surround yourself with people who hate for no reason you will be much happier GL HF GG Hopefully my wall of text is coherent enough lol. I am exhausted atm D:

Edit- i realize what is going through their head when they are all hanging out tho. They are chillin and there is just that 1 person who is around the house not hanging out. It can be awkward for some. But in all honesty why cant you go to the kitchen and it not be weird? Only because of them - not you. Any time my roommates have friends over that i dont hang out with and i need to go do something outside my room. I go do it, walk passed them, say whats up and go on with my life. They are chill, i am chill. End of story. That is how it should always be when living with multiple people. Instead you live with insecure friends who need everyone to be around them. it silly.
It rained today inside my head...
StreetHeat
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States225 Posts
November 28 2011 22:49 GMT
#10
In all my years of living on my own, I can tell you that this is not a gaming problem but a living with friends problem. It always seems like a great idea moving in with friends, "Hey we hang out all the time anyways and get along fine!" However, I find, problems always arise due to a lack of boundaries that you would have finding a random stranger as a roommate. Usually having a roommate is more of a business arrangement, pay your rent on time, don't wake me up in the middle of the night and don't trash the place. However with friends this gets a little complicated because, those walls don't exist, some people expect it to be friend time all the time.Those normal boundaries get stepped on harder than a kilo of coke that traveled from Belize to the North Pole.
Growing up an only child, I absolutely need alone time. I work a job where i'm talking to people all day, the last thing I want to do when I'm done with work is "Bro Out"
Maybe some people have had luck living with friends but for the most part people that I lived with that started as friends have been relegated to "Head Nod" Acquaintances.
Now I live on my own and don't think I could ever go back to having roommates again.
“If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you” -Bruce Lee
rotinegg
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States1719 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-28 23:00:50
November 28 2011 22:52 GMT
#11
Your friend sounds like a douche, but there are always two sides to a story, and just to be devil's advocate, I'll take your friends' side, so bear with me for a bit. Obviously you were the one who wrote this blog, so it is not unlikely that there could be some parts of the story that were untold either because you don't know it, or you purposely left them out. To quote you, you seem to have a serious addiction to gaming/being on the computer, to the extent that it has affected your relationship with your parents and your friends. Perhaps your loved ones are genuinely concerned about this addiction, but don't know how to broach the subject due to their own unease with the subject matter. If that were the case, they obviously didn't do a good job in delivering their concern, but it doesn't mean they did what they did to make you feel like crap.

+ Show Spoiler +
roommate : "well man when some of our friends come over you never watch TV with us"
me: i have to watch tv with you guys when ever you have friends over?
roommate : ignoring the questing " there is a growing void between us and it may be good for you to leave"
me: your at the library 6hrs a day until 10oclock, what would like me to do?
roommate : "your playing to much video games, its not right or healthy for you"
me: your smoking cig's everyday now....

Being proud of your nerdiness is fine, as I'm pretty sure all of us on TL have a side of nerdiness to us :D, but embracing it and gloating about it are two different things. You weren't exactly being a nice guy in this conversation; if I hadn't read the prelude, your roommate could have been the nice guy genuinely concerned for your friendship, and wanted see if he could help out as a friend in some way, but failed because you blew him off with snide remarks every time. Of course, the context of it changes everything, but that's assuming that you gave an unbiased prelude, and again, I'm being devil's advocate. Friendship is a two-wheeled bicycle, and it doesn't sound like you put in much effort to see it from his side of the story. It's unfair for you to solely blame your friend for the fallout: if he can't accept you as a friend, then you should either try to resolve the situation by looking at it from his point of view, or just walk away and accept the consequences that embracing your nerdiness has.

With all that said, I still think he's a douche, and I'm by no means calling you a liar that tells distorted anecdotes. Going off of your story, it doesn't sound like it's a relationship worth pursuing, and I believe one of the earlier repliers' account that you are a nice guy in real life. I just wrote what I wrote because taking on a new perspective can oftentimes help you sort things out, and it sounds like you are pretty shaken up from hearing such nasty things from someone you once considered a close friend. Sleep on it for a while before doing anything rash or emotional, because true friendship doesn't come easily, and it would suck for you to lose a good friend if this were all some sort of misunderstanding/miscommunication.
Translator
zalz
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Netherlands3704 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-28 23:14:25
November 28 2011 23:13 GMT
#12
I would actually side with the roommate.

Why does your fun take precedence over theirs? Why does theirs take precedence over yours? If you invite people over and you have this weird person that flat out refuses to socialize with people it makes you weird by association.

"Hey welcome to my house, this my room and this is the room with the guy that never ever leaves his room and will weirdly nod at you when he akwardly stumbles into the room to get food"

People can have seriously distorted views of themselves. You might think you act perfectly normal but you are most likely walking out of tune with everyone else.

You said you never told anyone about your gaming before and you also said that it has been pretty much all your life has been about. So what exactly did you talk about?

Not talking about games doesn't make you interesting. Not talking about playing dungeons and dragons doesn't mean you are not a geek. Being sociable is a whole lot more then not talking about things that people consider "non-mainstream".


You said you never saw this coming. So what is realistic? You missing all the signs whilst you locked yourself in your room or your friends never ever giving off even the slightest of a hint?

"Hey wanna watch a movie with us?"

"Nah gonna play Starcraft 2"

It doesn't take a whole lot of those responses before people start to catch on, you don't want to spend time with them.

Sure if you get asked flat out, do you hang out with your friends or do you want to hang out with your friends, you will lie and tell others and even yourself that "sure i wanna hang out with my friends" but you never really did that.

Whenever they ask you to watch TV or a movie you would just tell them no. You had to play games, you had to have the fun.

You cared for playing games, they cared for having a sociale environment. Your fun was more important then theirs.


You don't click with these people. If you want to sit behind a computer all day then go sit behind a computer all day on your own because it's obvious you don't need anyone else. Why do you need to sit in the same house as these people and leech off their presence, pretending like you are actually friends with them when you don't do anything with them.

You are proud about how you gave your mom the run around. You cling to that same old boring cliche where you pretend that you are super smart but you just didn't put in the effort. You want the credit for being smart but you are too lazy to put the work in. Newsflash snowflake, everyone in the world thinks they could be Hawkings if they "just put the effort in".


Frankly i find it ridiculous all these people are actually siding with you. Everything you said seems to hint at you being a shut in that only wants to play video games. You claim to go out every weekend but considering your description i find that rather doubtfull.

Whenever people point out that you invest way too much time into videogames you just go full on self-defence. You did it with your mother as you laughed behind her back and you do it now as you try to throw back weak come-backs at your friends rather then face the facts.

It's easier to just pretend like everyone is out to get you rather then face the facts that you are 19 years old and have wasted the early parts of your youth by playing an unhealthy ammount of videogames.

I really think TL can be a toxic environment at times with people defending this kind of behaviour.


Pull that computer off the wall, plug it out. See how hollow that life of yours is without it and wonder if it's really healthy to invest that much of your life into any single thing.
heroofcanton
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States167 Posts
November 28 2011 23:31 GMT
#13
Zalz makes some good points. I think there are social aspects of being a roommate. He will hole up in his room and fap for hours (seriously) and we are all weirded out by him. That said, he pays rent and shit so we aren't going to be a dick to him. They really went about things wrong, but that said it's not too bad to hang out with people and not sit in front of a computer all day. (just sometimes)
The hero of Canton, the man they call me.
cmen15
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States1519 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-29 00:00:27
November 28 2011 23:33 GMT
#14
On November 29 2011 08:13 zalz wrote:
I would actually side with the roommate.
Why does your fun take precedence over theirs? Why does theirs take precedence over yours? If you invite people over and you have this weird person that flat out refuses to socialize with people it makes you weird by association.
"Hey welcome to my house, this my room and this is the room with the guy that never ever leaves his room and will weirdly nod at you when he akwardly stumbles into the room to get food"
People can have seriously distorted views of themselves. You might think you act perfectly normal but you are most likely walking out of tune with everyone else.
You said you never told anyone about your gaming before and you also said that it has been pretty much all your life has been about. So what exactly did you talk about?
Not talking about games doesn't make you interesting. Not talking about playing dungeons and dragons doesn't mean you are not a geek. Being sociable is a whole lot more then not talking about things that people consider "non-mainstream".
You said you never saw this coming. So what is realistic? You missing all the signs whilst you locked yourself in your room or your friends never ever giving off even the slightest of a hint?
"Hey wanna watch a movie with us?"
"Nah gonna play Starcraft 2"
It doesn't take a whole lot of those responses before people start to catch on, you don't want to spend time with them.
Sure if you get asked flat out, do you hang out with your friends or do you want to hang out with your friends, you will lie and tell others and even yourself that "sure i wanna hang out with my friends" but you never really did that.
Whenever they ask you to watch TV or a movie you would just tell them no. You had to play games, you had to have the fun.
You cared for playing games, they cared for having a sociale environment. Your fun was more important then theirs.
You don't click with these people. If you want to sit behind a computer all day then go sit behind a computer all day on your own because it's obvious you don't need anyone else. Why do you need to sit in the same house as these people and leech off their presence, pretending like you are actually friends with them when you don't do anything with them.
You are proud about how you gave your mom the run around. You cling to that same old boring cliche where you pretend that you are super smart but you just didn't put in the effort. You want the credit for being smart but you are too lazy to put the work in. Newsflash snowflake, everyone in the world thinks they could be Hawkings if they "just put the effort in".
Frankly i find it ridiculous all these people are actually siding with you. Everything you said seems to hint at you being a shut in that only wants to play video games. You claim to go out every weekend but considering your description i find that rather doubtfull.
Whenever people point out that you invest way too much time into videogames you just go full on self-defence. You did it with your mother as you laughed behind her back and you do it now as you try to throw back weak come-backs at your friends rather then face the facts.
It's easier to just pretend like everyone is out to get you rather then face the facts that you are 19 years old and have wasted the early parts of your youth by playing an unhealthy ammount of videogames.
I really think TL can be a toxic environment at times with people defending this kind of behaviour.
Pull that computer off the wall, plug it out. See how hollow that life of yours is without it and wonder if it's really healthy to invest that much of your life into any single thing.

Sigh you assume a lot of things in your blog on my blog that are false and you don't know the facts.... For one I never said i was 'really smart" just said i didnt give a shit. Second i don't have a desk in my room, so i cant play 'all day locked in my room', i have to play in the kitchen and i dont play games with people over... Third your straight butchering everything i said, and i don't think you realize how dick your comments are....
Greed leads to just about all losses.
actionbastrd
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Congo598 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-28 23:38:16
November 28 2011 23:37 GMT
#15
On November 29 2011 08:13 zalz wrote:


Pull that computer off the wall, plug it out. See how hollow that life of yours is without it and wonder if it's really healthy to invest that much of your life into any single thing.


Not commenting on the rest. But to say look at how hollow your life is without it. That can be said with anything someone does. People who spend almost all their free time playing basketball and thats where they socialize - stop going to the court and see how hollow your life is. But you wouldnt say anything because thats a socially acceptable thing. It really can be associated with anything. It is not about what you fill it with, its about how you feel about yourself. People have hobbies and his is computers. Remove anyone's hobby and there will be a void. He is not just playing games 24/7 either, he actually works from home so you have to take that into account.

seriously tho, telling someone to stop doing something they love and telling them their life is hollow - see? i was right! is retarded because that can be said with anything and everything. Maybe you dont enjoy doing multiple things all the time, is it really that bad? I dont think so. I am sure you have something you do on a regular basis that would make part of your life hollow aswell, does that mean you should stop doing it? absolutely not.
It rained today inside my head...
TORTOISE
Profile Joined December 2010
United States515 Posts
November 28 2011 23:41 GMT
#16
Your roomates sound like people I wouldnt hang out with. If they can't accept your life and think you must change in order to better suit them, then frankly fuck them. Leave and don't look back.
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Autofire2
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Pakistan290 Posts
November 29 2011 01:01 GMT
#17
Hmmm honestly I would find an unsocial roommate annoying as well, but that would be my problem. And Zalz, you had a couple good points but what's up with the "your fun was more important than theirs" guilt trip? He made a decision to do what HE wanted with HIS time, its not like he owes them "bro time" or whatever the hell. If they're upset because someone's roommate won't hang with them, they're the ones with issues. They're roommates, not spouses.

It sounds like he's perfectly polite, not at all ANTIsocial, just UNsocial sometimes. His call, surely?
juked
Profile Joined May 2010
United States691 Posts
November 29 2011 01:02 GMT
#18
I think people are looking in this in a very wrong way and his roommates are also looking at the wrong perspective. He works from home on his computer were there is alot of downtime to watch streams, sneak a SC game in here or there . Who wouldn't do that in a job if they had the time? His roommates look at this as a gaming addiction. I know one of his roommates personally and this person barley knows the in and outs of a computer so seeing someone uses it so much must be weird to him. Keeping one's gaming life and social life separate is a fine thing to do but when asked to stop your hobby or passion is uncalled. He is forced to be on his computer for atleast 8 hours working. This may look very weird and uncommon for a person going to school seeing someone on his computer while they have to be in class. It may look like a "gaming addiction" but hes not even playing more than 50% of the time.

AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-29 02:39:04
November 29 2011 02:36 GMT
#19
How annoying that people are still having major problems with nerds. Try for a while to see from your roomates' perspective, think long and hard about the things that had been going on as of late, and if you still have no rational answer for why they have a problem with you, fuck them.
Seriously, fuck them. If they have a problem with how you live your life and it does not interfere with them or do serious bodily harm to you, after freaking preaching acceptance, they shouldn't be your friends.
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-29 04:54:16
November 29 2011 04:46 GMT
#20
Your roommate is not your dad. You should beat him if he ever pulls that on you again. The way he treated you is so condescending it's ridiculous. He's assuming you're not mature enough to know better, so he feels like he has to teach you how to live. I'd kick HIM out if I were you.

Edit: Juked has it right. It's one thing to be grinding WoW for 16 hours a day every day and another entirely to be working on websites for 8 hours a day, making music digitally using the computer as a tool for 2-3 hours, using facebook or other social sites like TL or streams for a reasonable amount of time everyone else uses facebook/tv for, and gaming for the other 3-4. The computer is bad for you because of the radiation, but other than that it's an incredibly useful tool and I can spend all day on it making my hobbies more efficient and not touch a game. I do tend to browse TL and streams a lot though.

People who view computers as nothing more than an xbox that has facebook disgust me.
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
zalz
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Netherlands3704 Posts
November 29 2011 08:43 GMT
#21
On November 29 2011 10:01 Autofire2 wrote:
Hmmm honestly I would find an unsocial roommate annoying as well, but that would be my problem. And Zalz, you had a couple good points but what's up with the "your fun was more important than theirs" guilt trip? He made a decision to do what HE wanted with HIS time, its not like he owes them "bro time" or whatever the hell. If they're upset because someone's roommate won't hang with them, they're the ones with issues. They're roommates, not spouses.

It sounds like he's perfectly polite, not at all ANTIsocial, just UNsocial sometimes. His call, surely?


He doesn't sound in the least bit polite. His friend came to him perfectly rational and all he could produce was a handfull of snide comments, anything to distract the conversation from his addiction. Come on let's talk about anything except how much time i spent behind a computer!


My entire point with that "their fun, your fun" bit was to point out he was being selfish.

He wants to have fun, he spends the majority of his life behind a computer because this is the most fun he can imagine having with his time. You know what, i wouldn't do it but to each his own, if he is happy sitting behind a computer, go do that 24/7.

But his friends are making it clear that they would have more fun if they had a social roommate that took part in the day to day activities like hanging out and watching TV or a movie.


So why is his fun more important? Why is their fun more important?

The answer is that the friend had it right. He should go out and leave the house and get his own place. He doesn't need to have friends living in the house, he doesn't hang out with them anyway.

If he gets his own place then he can just go out once a week to get groceries and then lock the door for the rest of the week.

His friends can get a roommate who's favorite activity is to "bro out" and then everyone will be happier.


Everyone will get the most fun they can imagine. Him with his computer. His friends with their new roommate. So like i said, the friend had the best idea for everyone. I don't agree with spending the ammount of time on the comp that he does but it's his own life and i don't have any say in the matter. All i can say is that it's not fair of him to demand that others adapt to him whilst he refuses to adapt to them. If he gets his own place, that all goes away.


Sidenote, kind of disturbing how some people would actually get violent if someone approached them with a very normal and very rational face to face. People get anxious when you point out the elephant in the room and it seems some TL members might even get violent if you point towards the gaming addicted elephant in the room.

Because if we don't talk about your problem, then there isn't a problem right?
Dizzlecto
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Netherlands52 Posts
November 29 2011 14:00 GMT
#22
I thought friends accept each other for who they are. I think that you two just grew apart, and therefor the friendship is harder to see.
Either one of you two should move out, because I do not see that lasting long

I think it's better to find roommates who have similar interests or someone who accepts what you like to do most.
Naver doter pro doter
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51484 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-29 14:44:08
November 29 2011 14:39 GMT
#23
Wow tough story i can kind of relate to this.

I have been gaming since i was about 13/14 since i discovered a pool website i played online for money with alot of people i now and still do call good mates. One of them is like my best friend now as we do absolutely all gaming together and are on MSN like 90% of the week together.

I when growing up was a sporty guy, played all sports, mostly football outside of school as i was on thie best team in the country and we won numerous cups, but this all came to an end in the final year of high school when we all left and i didn't persue football to adult level because Sunday mornings where a huge nono, i could barely get up at 12 on a sunday to go play football at 1:30 i was not going to get up @ 9am to go play!! (Wish i did now tbh im pretty unfit, not fat just unfit)

But this all stemmed down from me really discovering gaming @ 12 and literally only going out of the house to play football training and football matches on saturday and sunday afternoon. I never told anyone i did this, i always blagged i was doing this and that and once a month i might go out with my mates from football but thats about it.

I got into heavy internet gambling at the age of 16 (14 i was playing online pool for money) unlike the pool this was poker and was playing a good $100 a month winning alot with my mate at first but within 2months i was $200 in debt to (paypal) because pool company went bust and couldnt pay up to me. I had no job, no income and i was in debt..i was frigging 16 man and i was in debt lol now i look back on it i think wow...your pretty lucky that didnt bite u in the ass.

Due to paypal being paypal they never really came asking for the money, and gradually the money would trickle in from the pool company and i managed to clear the debt within a month and continued gaming and not socilasing much.

High school finished and i thought meh ill go to college do a sports course with a couple close mates of mine so i did, became even more involved with gaming (hardcorely on WoW..stupid game cant stop playing it) and i continued to lie to friends and saying i had plans and to just continue to game and go to the pub maybe tops twice a week and continue to game. I then eventually got addicted to WoW so badly that i didnt turn up to college for 2 weeks when Wrath of Lich King expansion came out ( i dont even know why i did this lol ) so eventually my teacher rang my mum up and said where is he? Is he ill, and she replied no he should be there. Short story, i got kicked out of college my mum absolutely ripped into me and said you find a job or everyday from 9am to 5pm wen we wake up u get kicked out of the house and the door locked.

Reality kind of hits you then, so i thought ffs no computer must find job. A KFC was being built at this time in Worcester (England) first time in our county let alone city so it was a big thing (huge facebook group etc) i thought fuck it ill apply and hopefully i get the job and i can go back to gaming. I got the job easily enough and went to work (very shit very boring awful smell i dont recommend it) after 3 months i was made a manager in the busiest store in the country (For the first 3 months) i lasted ther just under 2 years after being made manager, but it was just supporting my gaming, i had very little outgoings apart from my car so even though i was on £200 a week i was banking after all things going out like £600 a month and buying a new computer or xbox every 2/3 months just because i could and that was rather stupid when i look back on it! But still along with the life i went.

I got really annoyed @ KFC constantly complaining to my parents about the smell and the awful community that KFC had. Eventually my dad offered me a job in the office of his tyre buisness (he is joint partnership in a major firm so i was set). Im now 21 and been here just under 2 years and its even easier than kfc because..i can watch GSL/DreamHack/IEM and streams all at work with little fuss because no one knows how to use a computer properly so i can hide things they never know. This is a pefect life...or is it?

Like you instead of my best friend telling me the things he told you, i have my brother and my family who make sly remarks about me and my gaming life and find it stupidly weird and reclusive. But they just dont understand E-Sports community is nothing different to the football community in England, whats the difference between the EG Fan Club and the Chelsea FC Fan Club? Nothing, apart from the sport!

So i guess the point im not really making with all this writting is, until we get the world to recognise this E-Sports community, we will never be accepted into the social world by the ones who think we are reclusive.

You should NEVER EVER stop doing what you want to do, if you enjoy gaming you game my friend, you find ways to support it. You have one life, you live it the way you want to do it. What you should do, move back in with your mum until you can find a way to support a house/flat. Your mum wont throw you out, maybe be annoyed at you, but if you pay her $100 a month rent or something she might not mind you staying a month or 3 before you find a place. But make sure you look! And GOOD LUCK!! I have similar experiences, apart from i will never be kicked out of my house for all the gaming i do


ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-30 01:40:18
November 30 2011 01:37 GMT
#24
On November 29 2011 17:43 zalz wrote:
Sidenote, kind of disturbing how some people would actually get violent if someone approached them with a very normal and very rational face to face. People get anxious when you point out the elephant in the room and it seems some TL members might even get violent if you point towards the gaming addicted elephant in the room.

Only with a similar roommate I've had in the past. If I had one like him in the future I wouldn't hesitate like I did with him (never actually started a fight). A lot of times what seems "rational" to one person can be highly offensive to another. If someone comes up to you and tells you that you deserve no respect, even indirectly, then you're free to punch.
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
Daray
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
6006 Posts
November 30 2011 03:08 GMT
#25
I never realised that you have an obligation to socialize with your roommates friends (to zalz). I had a roommate for 1.5 years and we both just lived our normal lives doing whatever we do and if we wanted to hang out, sure, if not, maybe next time no problem. We had a pretty big apartment though and we're a tad older but tbh i think your roommate sounds like a douche and maybe you should move out if you guys don't get along anymore.
nira
Profile Joined April 2010
United States116 Posts
December 04 2011 03:01 GMT
#26
zalz wrote:"he spends the majority of his life behind a computer because this is the most fun he can imagine having with his time."

"You know what, i wouldn't do it but to each his own, if he is happy sitting behind a computer, go do that 24/7"
"he can just go out once a week to get groceries and then lock the door for the rest of the week."
"I don't agree with spending the ammount of time on the comp"
"Come on let's talk about anything except how much time i spent behind a computer!"
"You said you never told anyone about your gaming before and you also said that it has been pretty much all your life has been about"
"You missing all the signs whilst you locked yourself in your room or your friends never ever giving off even the slightest of a hint?"
"If you want to sit behind a computer all day then go sit behind a computer all day on your own because it's obvious you don't need anyone else."
"Everything you said seems to hint at you being a shut in that only wants to play video games."
"Whenever people point out that you invest way too much time into videogames you just go full on self-defence."
"It's easier to just pretend like everyone is out to get you rather then face the facts that you are 19 years old and have wasted the early parts of your youth by playing an unhealthy ammount of videogames."
"Pull that computer off the wall, plug it out. See how hollow that life of yours is without it and wonder if it's really healthy to invest that much of your life into any single thing."


oh lawdy, dat projection.

Ignoring OP's destroyed life, debilitating addiction, and incorrect unhealthy appalling usage of his free time, I would have to say evidence points to his interests and lifestyle clashing with his friend's.

The only thing I don't understand is why they ended up blindsiding you suddenly with their decision. If you weren't missing signs left and right I think the whole situation went down wrong and your friends are pretty immature.
LunaSea
Profile Joined October 2011
Luxembourg369 Posts
December 04 2011 04:07 GMT
#27
On November 29 2011 17:43 zalz wrote:

My entire point with that "their fun, your fun" bit was to point out he was being selfish.

But his friends are making it clear that they would have more fun if they had a social roommate that took part in the day to day activities like hanging out and watching TV or a movie.

So why is his fun more important? Why is their fun more important?

The answer is that the friend had it right. He should go out and leave the house and get his own place. He doesn't need to have friends living in the house, he doesn't hang out with them anyway.


I agree with most of your points but not the on I quoted because of one thing.
If his rommates can't have a "fun" activity without him than they are just stupid and don't have a real "fun activity".
I would even say that it is the "most fun activity they can think of". And watching TV vs SC2...I mean it's not like TV is a real activity...

They should consider that him around eventually having fun with them as a "bonus" because if their "fun" depends on someone else than they aren't logical enough to understand that they don't have a "fun activity".

For me it's more them being selfish than him...!

On November 29 2011 17:43 zalz wrote:

He wants to have fun, he spends the majority of his life behind a computer because this is the most fun he can imagine having with his time. You know what, i wouldn't do it but to each his own, if he is happy sitting behind a computer, go do that 24/7.


Pretty biased isn't it ? It's maybe your opinion but you shouldn't consider playing a lot of games being inferior to other activities (watching TV...Oo).
"Your f*cking wrong, but I respect your opinion" --Day[9]
DukE_ss
Profile Joined June 2007
United States689 Posts
December 04 2011 05:33 GMT
#28
On November 29 2011 08:13 zalz wrote:
Pull that computer off the wall, plug it out. See how hollow that life of yours is without it and wonder if it's really healthy to invest that much of your life into any single thing.


We all invest a lot of time into one thing or another, it's just a matter of what we invest our time into and if we take that away we'll all have a hollow void to fill. Hell, investing time into our jobs isn't necessarily that healthy but we all do it, and if that job goes away, most people feel lost for a bit during the day.

Also I sit in front of a computer for at least 8, a lot of time more, hours day due to how my job works, like most people in the work now. Then I come home and use my computer a bit for non-work related things, meaning I'm on a computer for at least 10-12 hours a day. Would you say that I need to change my life style and all? Unplug my computers and stow away?
“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.” William Arthur Ward "You are what you think, You become what you think, What you think becomes reality." Phil Hellmuth
pjw
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia76 Posts
December 04 2011 06:18 GMT
#29
Most people associate home with a very comfortable environment. To have a comfortable relationship with your housemates you need to socialize with them.

Although you may not realize it, but you shutting yourself away and avoiding any sort of social activity with them makes them feel uncomfortable to the point where they have asked you to leave...Can you imagine how much someone would have to piss you off to make you want to kick them out.

It's good that you enjoy gaming, but it sounds like you're ruining your life for a few cheap thrills. Dropping out of collage and barely passing school because of gaming is messed up. Most people play video games, alot, during collage. Yet I can't imagine too many completely abandoning their studies to play more games.

Moderation is key. Not only will you enjoy it more when you can play, but you might also smile when the computer is turned off once and a while.
If you don't enjoy what you are doing, then what you are aiming for will be filled with the negativity that came attaining it
blade55555
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States17423 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-12-04 08:58:17
December 04 2011 08:58 GMT
#30
Ah that sucks the fact you hid it from your friends really sucks and probably why he thinks its weird. I am somewhat similar to you in the fact that other then school/work I am on the computer most of the time. My friends go to colleges out of state, or 8 hours away so I only see them christmas break, summer, and spring break. So most of my time is spent on the computer on teamliquid, playing games and what not.

I graduated 2 years ago but I was not ready for college. I have always had a bad attitude towards school (especially high school) just was retarded and seemed to me like a waste of time (I still think high school was a waste but to go to college have to graduate high school!). But after high school like I said was just not ready for college and I took the year off. I was actually very nervous to tell my dad this when I came to my decision of this as I wasn't sure how he would react even though like everyone in my family took 6 months to a full year off of school before going to college.

I told my dad and he didn't like it but he understood and didn't bother me about it, let alone he was like that is fine but I could tell he wanted me to go but wasn't going to force me. He knew how much I hated school and I think that is why he never really tried to make me change my mind as he knew I would go back when I said I would (I am one of those people where when I say I will do something I do it 99% of the time).

Now I had a job but I only worked 10-20 hours a week depending on how movies were doing. Can you guess what type of job I had? Actually still have? Thats right a movie theater job which is actually kind of shitty due to such random hours but great for high school. During my year off I tried to get a new job to work 40 hours a week for a year but that went to hell and honestly I am surprised my dad kind of let it slide. I tried getting a job but I gave up after a couple months (I had 1 interview the entire year at fred meyer and didn't get the job T_T). So on my free time I was playing lots of games, vent, etc kind of sounds like we are the same in that aspect.

The thing that surprises me as my dad never really bugged me. I can tell he kind of worries how much time I spend on the computer but he doesn't bug me about it or say anything he just lets me do it. I know he worries I am depressed so I think that might be another reason he doesn't really bother me about it and lets me do what I do idk but its kind of nice not to be pestered by it or have snide comments at. Hell my dad could kick me out of the house but he doesn't (thank god).

Last year I literally worked 10 hours a week for 8 months and then worked 25-30 hours a week for 3 months and now back to 10-15 hours until christmas vacation xD.

I feel for you because in general I am in a situation like yours except I am going to school now (year went really fucking fast...) doing my shitty job with shitty hours so still have a lot of free time even with school lol but I couldn't imagine my friends, let alone family ripping on me for what I do as it probably would put me into a depression if my family kept ripping on me for what I do when its no different when they watch the TV or whatever.

Just don't get depressed by it and it sucks that had to happen hopefully you can kind of move in a small apartment by yourself or something and eventually go back to school if you want but don't let it get you to down, honestly I think your friends a douche to do that and sucks it happened but don't let it get you down!

On a side note sorry for the wall of text in your blog >>.
When I think of something else, something will go here
tdt
Profile Joined October 2010
United States3179 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-12-04 11:08:12
December 04 2011 10:27 GMT
#31
I read the whole thing. Good read. Fuck em. Be your own man if they won't accept that maybe it is time to move on. I am also 19 and have had several types of friends in my life but only 1-2 are real permanent friends through thick and thin and that's all I need, if that and one is my brother so I'm not even sure that really counts,

BTW I go to school/university for accounting but I have a studio apartment just for this reason. Fuck roommates. I smoke weed. I game. I do basically whatever I want. Freedom is fantastic. U should check into it.

Oh and if you're looking for a career that does not involve to much social interaction well... I just named it above that's why I'm doing it.
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