EPTGirlfriend Help #2... - Page 2
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FFGenerations
7088 Posts
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FiWiFaKi
Canada9859 Posts
On November 18 2011 09:43 BrassMonkey wrote: I would agree suspicion is the right course of action. How would she feel if you were watching a movie home alone with a girl on your bed. Hate to say it OP, but if this continues, you need to dump her. Take it from someone who was too trusting and was cheated on. In the same breath though, trust is an important aspect of the relationship, if you cant trust her, something is wrong. But I would be suspicious especially "I'm not gonna tell you every little detail of my life" Have you ever met a girl that didnt want to share every tiny (read boring) detail of her life. eg "Omg today Becky said she wanted Doritos but the convenient store guy gave her Laysand we were so mad..." See that's the thing, she tells me those little details all the time. She waits for me at my class if she gets out of class early, wraps her arms around me kisses me, etc. Idk it's so complicated, there's so many examples of both cases in our relationship. | ||
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Blazinghand
United States25560 Posts
On November 18 2011 09:50 FiWiFaKi wrote: See that's the thing, she tells me those little details all the time. She waits for me at my class if she gets out of class early, wraps her arms around me kisses me, etc. Idk it's so complicated, there's so many examples of both cases in our relationship. I mean maybe just go tell the guy off? Like, that might be the easiest scenario if it's just one guy. If he's a wimp you could probably just yell at him. What kind of school do you go to / what is your social position relative to him? Could you tell him to stop macking on your gf, or else you'll beat him up? It might be more effective to do that than to have some serious bad newses happening b/t you and the gf. | ||
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wussleeQ
United States3130 Posts
On November 18 2011 09:46 micronesia wrote: Sleep with the guy that she's watching movies with. That will teach her. oh god rofl i laughed so hard at this. on topic, dump her. you guys are still young and like many other people have said this is a huge red flag. i know it's hard to just break up with someone but imo she's not worth it. she should understand that you might feel jealous and shit of that type of thing and try to avoid it but if her response is that and she doesn't tell you things then... yeah. sorry about your troubles though. but before then of course, you need to have a serious talk with her. tell her that it hurts you that she doesn't tell you that stuff or that it makes you really jealous. if she's not willing to change then you know what you should do. | ||
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DIRESTRAIT
Canada155 Posts
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FiWiFaKi
Canada9859 Posts
On November 18 2011 09:53 Blazinghand wrote: I mean maybe just go tell the guy off? Like, that might be the easiest scenario if it's just one guy. If he's a wimp you could probably just yell at him. What kind of school do you go to / what is your social position relative to him? Could you tell him to stop macking on your gf, or else you'll beat him up? It might be more effective to do that than to have some serious bad newses happening b/t you and the gf. I'm tougher than most, and definitely quite a lot less "nerdy" than most nerds, but I don't like to think of myself as those brainless jocks. And I really don't think beating someone up would solve much, cause he'd tell my girlfriend, then she'd get pissed at me for abusing her friends, on and on. | ||
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SpearWrit
United States300 Posts
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Cruncharoo
United States136 Posts
On November 18 2011 09:46 micronesia wrote: Sleep with the guy that she's watching movies with. That will teach her. hahaha this is great. think of it this way would you watch a movie with another girl laying on your bed if you didn't have any intentions of hooking up with her? if you're sane then the answer is no.. dump this broad and move on. | ||
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FinestHour
United States18466 Posts
But if that doenst work out end it, shes only gonna do the same thing with another guy that you wont find out about. Everyone lies. | ||
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Blazinghand
United States25560 Posts
On November 18 2011 09:59 FiWiFaKi wrote: I'm tougher than most, and definitely quite a lot less "nerdy" than most nerds, but I don't like to think of myself as those brainless jocks. And I really don't think beating someone up would solve much, cause he'd tell my girlfriend, then she'd get pissed at me for abusing her friends, on and on. Well don't ACTUALLY beat him up. At first, ask nicely and be like "hey man could you not be all up on my gf like that" and if he doesn't respond properly, then just threaten to beat him up. Actually beating him up won't do you any good because you can't really threaten to beat him up any more once you've done it. See if you can catch him alone and bring a friend or two. Actually getting into a fight with him will surely do you no good. So, basically, ask him to stop getting all up on your gf, and if that doesn't work, put the fear of god in him. Feel free to amp up the volume by yelling and punching things that aren't him if you need to, but don't actually beat him up or you could get in trouble at school, with your gf, etc. EDIT: the main point i'm trying to make here is you'll probably have more success addressing this problem at the root-- this bro getting up on your gf-- than you would trying to get into a fight with your girl. EDIT EDIT: PS: if he's like a friend of yours or something, obviously don't be a dick to him-- if he's a good friend you can just tell him to lay off and he will. | ||
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Torenhire
United States11681 Posts
On November 18 2011 10:08 Blazinghand wrote: Well don't ACTUALLY beat him up. At first, ask nicely and be like "hey man could you not be all up on my gf like that" and if he doesn't respond properly, then just threaten to beat him up. Actually beating him up won't do you any good because you can't really threaten to beat him up any more once you've done it. See if you can catch him alone and bring a friend or two. Actually getting into a fight with him will surely do you no good. So, basically, ask him to stop getting all up on your gf, and if that doesn't work, put the fear of god in him. Feel free to amp up the volume by yelling and punching things that aren't him if you need to, but don't actually beat him up or you could get in trouble at school, with your gf, etc. EDIT: the main point i'm trying to make here is you'll probably have more success addressing this problem at the root-- this bro getting up on your gf-- than you would trying to get into a fight with your girl. Personally, I'd tell her that shit ain't working out. however if you follow Blazinghand's advice (which I assume you are due to only replying to this sort of advice) ...just be ready to dump her anyways if she gets upset at you confronting the guy about it. Haha. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32135 Posts
![[image loading]](http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/41786_2244932121_8113_n.jpg) DUMP HUR | ||
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FiWiFaKi
Canada9859 Posts
On November 18 2011 10:11 Torenhire wrote: Personally, I'd tell her that shit ain't working out. however if you follow Blazinghand's advice (which I assume you are due to only replying to this sort of advice) ...just be ready to dump her anyways if she gets upset at you confronting the guy about it. Haha. Well I find too much of the advice to "let it go" has a lot of unsupported evidence, because it's different eyes looking at it inside a relationship, and the ones looking at it from the outside. And obviously I'd prefer an alternative to breaking-up if there is any; not to say breaking up isn't something I'll do... I just want to see what other possible alternatives I have, you know? Oh if I didn't specify anywhere. We've only been dating for 6 weeks. | ||
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FiWiFaKi
Canada9859 Posts
On November 18 2011 10:16 Hawk wrote: In high school, you only turn on a movie with a guy over just to drown out the sound of the bed springs DUMP HUR Generally that's true, but are you saying you've never just watched a movie on the couch with a girl and just watched? Maybe talked for a bit, etc? =/ | ||
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Torenhire
United States11681 Posts
also Hawk I love the reference but I have turned retarded and forgot where it was from T_T I know I've seen it before, too. edit: right, to respond to you...of course people are going to give you advice when you post it here, and I understand that a lot of it is unsupported, but just because on the surface it is just a one-liner "dump her loilololl" doesn't mean it's necessarily wrong. Someone said it earlier, trust and communication are pretty crucial for a relationship to work out. You can trust her, and she can communicate better. When she said "I'm not going to tell you everything about my life" or w/e, to me that's a huge red flag. She could have said "well I didn't think it was important" or something, but the fact that she's closing doors like that is a little iffy imo. My current GF has no issues with me asking what she's doing or where she is..as long as I'm not accusing her of anything stupid while doing it. Her ex-bf was one of those guys who needed to know where she was, what she was doing, and why 24/7. I trust that my gf isn't doing anything when she tells me she is hanging out with this or that guy because she tells me. I don't flip out when she tells me she's going over to a guys house either. I feel like if that trust between us wasn't there, we wouldn't be dating.. My ex-gf was very secretive in everything and that leads to just all around bad times. She was so secretive that I would be suspicious of everything because she hated talking about it. "Hey, got any plans today" "Yeah...busy with some stuff" ... and if I asked her what she meant, she'd just say "stuff" and end of convo. How can that not be a bad sign or cause alarm to someone? Anyways, TLDR; you should talk to her. Let her know that you're uncomfortable when she's secretive about that sort of thing, and that things won't work out if the two of you don't get your shit together. You have to let her do her thing with her friends, though, and not assume every guy she does anything with is out to fuck her. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32135 Posts
On November 18 2011 10:25 Torenhire wrote: On a couch, sure...in a bed, not just talking, haha. also Hawk I love the reference but I have turned retarded and forgot where it was from T_T I know I've seen it before, too. | ||
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Torenhire
United States11681 Posts
OFF TO YOUTUBE. I must remember the name. Bronx tale. That would have killed me all night. The power of the internet! | ||
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FiWiFaKi
Canada9859 Posts
On November 18 2011 10:25 Torenhire wrote: On a couch, sure...in a bed, not just talking, haha. also Hawk I love the reference but I have turned retarded and forgot where it was from T_T I know I've seen it before, too. edit: right, to respond to you...of course people are going to give you advice when you post it here, and I understand that a lot of it is unsupported, but just because on the surface it is just a one-liner "dump her loilololl" doesn't mean it's necessarily wrong. Someone said it earlier, trust and communication are pretty crucial for a relationship to work out. You can trust her, and she can communicate better. When she said "I'm not going to tell you everything about my life" or w/e, to me that's a huge red flag. She could have said "well I didn't think it was important" or something, but the fact that she's closing doors like that is a little iffy imo. My current GF has no issues with me asking what she's doing or where she is..as long as I'm not accusing her of anything stupid while doing it. Her ex-bf was one of those guys who needed to know where she was, what she was doing, and why 24/7. I trust that my gf isn't doing anything when she tells me she is hanging out with this or that guy because she tells me. I don't flip out when she tells me she's going over to a guys house either. I feel like if that trust between us wasn't there, we wouldn't be dating.. My ex-gf was very secretive in everything and that leads to just all around bad times. She was so secretive that I would be suspicious of everything because she hated talking about it. "Hey, got any plans today" "Yeah...busy with some stuff" ... and if I asked her what she meant, she'd just say "stuff" and end of convo. How can that not be a bad sign or cause alarm to someone? Anyways, TLDR; you should talk to her. Let her know that you're uncomfortable when she's secretive about that sort of thing, and that things won't work out if the two of you don't get your shit together. You have to let her do her thing with her friends, though, and not assume every guy she does anything with is out to fuck her. This is actually really good advice I think O_o. I did start getting bitchy all of the sudden, which was a mistake on my part, but it wasn't what I was thinking about at the moment. It's hard deciding for me a lot of the time how "controlling" I want to be I guess. I mean I don't want to be at all, I'd hate to be one of those controlling boyfriends, but at the same time, I need to know what's going on. So do you think I just need to work on being to open up to each other more? Because like we were discussing her pretty big family problem we were having together for example. | ||
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Selkie
United States530 Posts
A relationship without trust is like a phone without service: all you do is play games. If there's no trust, dump her. (you will be much happier being the dumper than dumpee) | ||
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
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