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My actual blog is located at evilontherise.blogspot.com
I haven't posted in so long. I've been kinda busy with life drama. Don't worry, I won't hold anything back.
I'm bi. I haven't told my parents yet, just Iris, Persimmon, and I think Esau knows because he read my blog. On Sunday, I asked one of my gay friends (Nagor on 21st Century Breakdown) out and he said yes. I was so fucking happy. I realized how long it's been since I've been truly happy. I'm so happy that I can fucking cry right now. I JUST ASKED HIM AND HE SAID YES! THERE WAS NO BULLSHIT, NO ANYTHING! Just a yes.
And plus, I really like the guy. It's not just like "I'm gay, you're gay, let's do it!" I actually care for him and want to be with him. We don't have boring conversations (God forbid) so I don't think we can be just going out to go out.
Persimmon and Iris will be coming with us on a double date. Persimmon said "We're going to disappear after the first couple minutes, so you guys will be free to do whatever." I fucking LOVE my friends. Which is why the next piece hurts even more.
Persimmon's parents are pulling her out of school. She's going to be FUCKING HOMESCHOOLED. WHAT THE FUCK. NONONONONO WROOOOOOOOOONG. That's NOT how you improve the problems she was having. Until probably now, she hadn't cut since I started. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY WOULD HER PARENTS FUCKING DO THAT? FUCK, THEY MUST BE RETARDED. She's going to start cutting again, you can bet on that. I just hope that she calls us whenever, so that it doesn't get too bad. There's no way we can stop her, and we can barely help her now.
Persimmon said that she's probably going to be spending a lot of time at Iris's house. GOOD. I will be visiting her whenever she's there. I'll be doing EVERYTHING I FUCKING CAN to make sure she doesn't start down that road again. She was just getting better, why the FUCK would her parents take her out now? It doesn't make ANY FUCKING SENSE.
She'll still be in Science Olympiad, so she won't be totally gone. But now, that'll be all that I can possibly see her without going tremendously out of my way. I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I don't have my license or a car. I think I'll probably get my license this summer, and I'll probably be able to use my mom's car.
I found out Beijing and Rosalind became best friends while I was in Costa Rica. Fuck. I found this out AFTER I'd already asked Nagor out, so it wasn't heartbreakingly tragic, but it made me very relieved that I'd asked Nagor.
I'm going to take Driver's Ed with Turing, so that'll be pretty fun. We'll be cracking jokes the whole time. It'll actually be pretty awesome.
Persimmon leaving... it doesn't feel real. I honestly can't believe it. She's been with us too long to just be leaving... I really want to talk to her parents. See if I can talk them out of it, because this is the WORST thing for her right now.
Persimmon left for a Mormon Girl's Camp this morning. She insists that her church is awesome and fun, but I know that I could never be Mormon. I'm really bad at telling genuinely kind people from fake nice people, so I'd be looking around suspiciously, wondering who was real and who was fake. The stress would KILL me. I honestly would go batshit insane.
I can't fucking stand the thought that she's leaving. Iris is going to be so alone next year. I want Persimmon's parents to change their damn minds NOW. I can't stand the thought of my sister hurting herself. I know, I know, what a hypocrite.
Edit #1: Added Spaces. Thanks, Torte de Lini.
 
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+ Show Spoiler +
My actual blog is located at evilontherise.blogspot.com
I haven't posted in so long. I've been kinda busy with life drama. Don't worry, I won't hold anything back.
I'm bi. I haven't told my parents yet, just Iris, Persimmon, and I think Esau knows because he read my blog. On Sunday, I asked one of my gay friends (Nagor on 21st Century Breakdown) out and he said yes. I was so fucking happy. I realized how long it's been since I've been truly happy. I'm so happy that I can fucking cry right now. I JUST ASKED HIM AND HE SAID YES! THERE WAS NO BULLSHIT, NO ANYTHING! Just a yes.
And plus, I really like the guy. It's not just like "I'm gay, you're gay, let's do it!" I actually care for him and want to be with him. We don't have boring conversations (God forbid) so I don't think we can be just going out to go out.
Persimmon and Iris will be coming with us on a double date. Persimmon said "We're going to disappear after the first couple minutes, so you guys will be free to do whatever." I fucking LOVE my friends. Which is why the next piece hurts even more.
Persimmon's parents are pulling her out of school. She's going to be FUCKING HOMESCHOOLED. WHAT THE FUCK. NONONONONO WROOOOOOOOOONG. That's NOT how you improve the problems she was having. Until probably now, she hadn't cut since I started. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY WOULD HER PARENTS FUCKING DO THAT? FUCK, THEY MUST BE RETARDED. She's going to start cutting again, you can bet on that. I just hope that she calls us whenever, so that it doesn't get too bad. There's no way we can stop her, and we can barely help her now.
Persimmon said that she's probably going to be spending a lot of time at Iris's house. GOOD. I will be visiting her whenever she's there. I'll be doing EVERYTHING I FUCKING CAN to make sure she doesn't start down that road again. She was just getting better, why the FUCK would her parents take her out now? It doesn't make ANY FUCKING SENSE.
She'll still be in Science Olympiad, so she won't be totally gone. But now, that'll be all that I can possibly see her without going tremendously out of my way. I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I don't have my license or a car. I think I'll probably get my license this summer, and I'll probably be able to use my mom's car.
I found out Beijing and Rosalind became best friends while I was in Costa Rica. Fuck. I found this out AFTER I'd already asked Nagor out, so it wasn't heartbreakingly tragic, but it made me very relieved that I'd asked Nagor.
I'm going to take Driver's Ed with Turing, so that'll be pretty fun. We'll be cracking jokes the whole time. It'll actually be pretty awesome.
Persimmon leaving... it doesn't feel real. I honestly can't believe it. She's been with us too long to just be leaving... I really want to talk to her parents. See if I can talk them out of it, because this is the WORST thing for her right now.
Persimmon left for a Mormon Girl's Camp this morning. She insists that her church is awesome and fun, but I know that I could never be Mormon. I'm really bad at telling genuinely kind people from fake nice people, so I'd be looking around suspiciously, wondering who was real and who was fake. The stress would KILL me. I honestly would go batshit insane.
I can't fucking stand the thought that she's leaving. Iris is going to be so alone next year. I want Persimmon's parents to change their damn minds NOW. I can't stand the thought of my sister hurting herself. I know, I know, what a hypocrite.
Hi, I've reformatted your blog post so it has spaces, I'm assuming the copy-pasting from your original blog entry fucked it up right?
Very unique names, as for the cutting, any particular reason why? Home-schooling her is either a good or bad choice depending on the circumstances (generally, I would keep her in school, but I don't know enough of the situation)
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Just get together with all your friends and talk to her parents, bring up valid arguments, not like 'You have to let her go to school or otherwise we dont like you anymore'. Maybe theyll change their minds. If not, maybe you could consider taking more serious steps like going to the 'youth welfare office'.
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I don't understand this about bi guys, please enlighten me:
If you're bi, it means you get aroused by pretty girls / want to hang out with them / can fall in love with them, right? So why the need to start relationships with guys when there are so many negative social consequences in doing so?
Is it boredom with girls? An analogy would be if I could only ever date girls who have A-cups, sure they might be hot and their pussies might be juicy but at the end of the day, my love for big tits is going to drive me to want to start something with C cup girls?
Me cannot have understands, please enlighten me.
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On July 06 2011 05:24 Ravencruiser wrote:
I don't understand this about bi guys, please enlighten me:
If you're bi, it means you get aroused by pretty girls / want to hang out with them / can fall in love with them, right? So why the need to start relationships with guys when there are so many negative social consequences in doing so?
Is it boredom with girls? An analogy would be if I could only ever date girls who have A-cups, sure they might be hot and their pussies might be juicy but at the end of the day, my love for big tits is going to drive me to want to start something with C cup girls?
Me cannot have understands, please enlighten me.
attraction is a complicated and highly variable thing.
the tl;dr is that not everyone's attractions are as narrow as yours are. some people can find a very wide array of qualities attractive.
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Also, some people don't care what society thinks of their life decisions. It's just how some people are. You could ask the same question about anyone who refuses to conform
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On July 06 2011 05:35 Mogwai wrote:Show nested quote +On July 06 2011 05:24 Ravencruiser wrote:
I don't understand this about bi guys, please enlighten me:
If you're bi, it means you get aroused by pretty girls / want to hang out with them / can fall in love with them, right? So why the need to start relationships with guys when there are so many negative social consequences in doing so?
Is it boredom with girls? An analogy would be if I could only ever date girls who have A-cups, sure they might be hot and their pussies might be juicy but at the end of the day, my love for big tits is going to drive me to want to start something with C cup girls?
Me cannot have understands, please enlighten me. attraction is a complicated and highly variable thing. the tl;dr is that not everyone's attractions are as narrow as yours are. some people can find a very wide array of qualities attractive.
Firstly that was just an analogy. And secondly, your post just further cements my point; because some people find a wider array of qualities attractive (in the case of OP, both males and females), is it boredom or something else that drives them to pursue certain attractive qualities in spite of the negative consequences that might arise from doing so?
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On July 06 2011 05:43 Ravencruiser wrote:Show nested quote +On July 06 2011 05:35 Mogwai wrote:On July 06 2011 05:24 Ravencruiser wrote:
I don't understand this about bi guys, please enlighten me:
If you're bi, it means you get aroused by pretty girls / want to hang out with them / can fall in love with them, right? So why the need to start relationships with guys when there are so many negative social consequences in doing so?
Is it boredom with girls? An analogy would be if I could only ever date girls who have A-cups, sure they might be hot and their pussies might be juicy but at the end of the day, my love for big tits is going to drive me to want to start something with C cup girls?
Me cannot have understands, please enlighten me. attraction is a complicated and highly variable thing. the tl;dr is that not everyone's attractions are as narrow as yours are. some people can find a very wide array of qualities attractive. Firstly that was just an analogy. And secondly, your post just further cements my point; because some people find a wider array of qualities attractive (in the case of OP, both males and females), is it boredom or something else that drives them to pursue certain attractive qualities in spite of the negative consequences that might arise from doing so?
I really can't name them. I'm actually, in total, attracted to only two guys, and one of them is my best friend (Esau), and he's straight. But I'm happier to be going out with this guy than anyone I ever have.
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On July 06 2011 05:10 Torte de Lini wrote:+ Show Spoiler +
My actual blog is located at evilontherise.blogspot.com
I haven't posted in so long. I've been kinda busy with life drama. Don't worry, I won't hold anything back.
I'm bi. I haven't told my parents yet, just Iris, Persimmon, and I think Esau knows because he read my blog. On Sunday, I asked one of my gay friends (Nagor on 21st Century Breakdown) out and he said yes. I was so fucking happy. I realized how long it's been since I've been truly happy. I'm so happy that I can fucking cry right now. I JUST ASKED HIM AND HE SAID YES! THERE WAS NO BULLSHIT, NO ANYTHING! Just a yes.
And plus, I really like the guy. It's not just like "I'm gay, you're gay, let's do it!" I actually care for him and want to be with him. We don't have boring conversations (God forbid) so I don't think we can be just going out to go out.
Persimmon and Iris will be coming with us on a double date. Persimmon said "We're going to disappear after the first couple minutes, so you guys will be free to do whatever." I fucking LOVE my friends. Which is why the next piece hurts even more.
Persimmon's parents are pulling her out of school. She's going to be FUCKING HOMESCHOOLED. WHAT THE FUCK. NONONONONO WROOOOOOOOOONG. That's NOT how you improve the problems she was having. Until probably now, she hadn't cut since I started. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY WOULD HER PARENTS FUCKING DO THAT? FUCK, THEY MUST BE RETARDED. She's going to start cutting again, you can bet on that. I just hope that she calls us whenever, so that it doesn't get too bad. There's no way we can stop her, and we can barely help her now.
Persimmon said that she's probably going to be spending a lot of time at Iris's house. GOOD. I will be visiting her whenever she's there. I'll be doing EVERYTHING I FUCKING CAN to make sure she doesn't start down that road again. She was just getting better, why the FUCK would her parents take her out now? It doesn't make ANY FUCKING SENSE.
She'll still be in Science Olympiad, so she won't be totally gone. But now, that'll be all that I can possibly see her without going tremendously out of my way. I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I don't have my license or a car. I think I'll probably get my license this summer, and I'll probably be able to use my mom's car.
I found out Beijing and Rosalind became best friends while I was in Costa Rica. Fuck. I found this out AFTER I'd already asked Nagor out, so it wasn't heartbreakingly tragic, but it made me very relieved that I'd asked Nagor.
I'm going to take Driver's Ed with Turing, so that'll be pretty fun. We'll be cracking jokes the whole time. It'll actually be pretty awesome.
Persimmon leaving... it doesn't feel real. I honestly can't believe it. She's been with us too long to just be leaving... I really want to talk to her parents. See if I can talk them out of it, because this is the WORST thing for her right now.
Persimmon left for a Mormon Girl's Camp this morning. She insists that her church is awesome and fun, but I know that I could never be Mormon. I'm really bad at telling genuinely kind people from fake nice people, so I'd be looking around suspiciously, wondering who was real and who was fake. The stress would KILL me. I honestly would go batshit insane.
I can't fucking stand the thought that she's leaving. Iris is going to be so alone next year. I want Persimmon's parents to change their damn minds NOW. I can't stand the thought of my sister hurting herself. I know, I know, what a hypocrite.
Hi, I've reformatted your blog post so it has spaces, I'm assuming the copy-pasting from your original blog entry fucked it up right? Very unique names, as for the cutting, any particular reason why? Home-schooling her is either a good or bad choice depending on the circumstances (generally, I would keep her in school, but I don't know enough of the situation)
Well, for the cutting, she used to cut really bad. She stopped, but now she's going to start again. Hell, she might be doing it right now.
She was home-schooled for middle school, and she's fucking brilliant, so I know that her parents did a good job. But socially and emotionally, she's going to go downhill so blindingly fast it'll break a record or something.
Thanks for the reformatting. It was awesome, and I'm actually a huge fan of your posting.
On July 06 2011 05:14 Xiron wrote:
Just get together with all your friends and talk to her parents, bring up valid arguments, not like 'You have to let her go to school or otherwise we dont like you anymore'. Maybe theyll change their minds. If not, maybe you could consider taking more serious steps like going to the 'youth welfare office'.
Even though her parents are reasonable, the only reason she found out when she did was because she was looking through her mom's email and found the confirmation that she was being pulled out. There's really no way I could do anything even if I tried. I just hope she shows enough improvement to be re-enrolled for senior year or the middle of junior year.
We're also part of a Math/science/technology magnet part of the school, and she has a huge boundary exception. So she's most likely going to lose that, and possibly not be able to enroll in our school if her parents allow her.
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holy god in heaven, so much teenage angst. Also, the "I'm gay. You're gay. Let's do it!" reminds me of something a guy said to a friend of mine sophomore year: "I'm straight. You're straight. Let's do it!" -- it seems weird out of context, but it was the part of high school where people became overly-comfortable in their sexuality.
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On July 06 2011 07:44 mbr2321 wrote:
holy god in heaven, so much teenage angst. Also, the "I'm gay. You're gay. Let's do it!" reminds me of something a guy said to a friend of mine sophomore year: "I'm straight. You're straight. Let's do it!" -- it seems weird out of context, but it was the part of high school where people became overly-comfortable in their sexuality.
That was actually kind of a reference to his last relationship, where he just found a gay guy and they just went out for a couple weeks. It was quite literally on and off, with Nagor getting dumped every couple days and them getting back together almost immediately.
Also, teenage angst, you betcha. Just tack teenage angst on with clinical depression and bipolarity and you have yourself my emotions. Enjoy!
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Yup, I remember when I was 15-16 too. Then I realized there's people in the world who actually struggle with real depression and real issues and got real, and quit whining and over-dramatizing about my petty problems.
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On July 06 2011 10:15 TheSchwA wrote:
Yup, I remember when I was 15-16 too. Then I realized there's people in the world who actually struggle with real depression and real issues and got real, and quit whining and over-dramatizing about my petty problems.
Bisexual, clinical depression...
Your petty problems when you were 16 were what, "Oh, I can't get a girlfriend! Wat do?" Mine are more like "Oh, my best friend just went into the bathroom and slit his wrists! Wat do?"
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On July 06 2011 13:35 KingSC wrote:Show nested quote +On July 06 2011 10:15 TheSchwA wrote:
Yup, I remember when I was 15-16 too. Then I realized there's people in the world who actually struggle with real depression and real issues and got real, and quit whining and over-dramatizing about my petty problems. Bisexual, clinical depression... Your petty problems when you were 16 were what, "Oh, I can't get a girlfriend! Wat do?" Mine are more like "Oh, my best friend just went into the bathroom and slit his wrists! Wat do?"
Well your life seems like a royal shitstorm...
Not sure what to write here. Your experience is so far out of the norm that I just don't know what to say. Good luck?
I can say that to the guys questioning sexuality, grow up. Sexuality is not a black and white affair. It is much more like a sliding scale.
Mate, I hope you can get through these troubles.
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On July 06 2011 13:35 KingSC wrote:Show nested quote +On July 06 2011 10:15 TheSchwA wrote:
Yup, I remember when I was 15-16 too. Then I realized there's people in the world who actually struggle with real depression and real issues and got real, and quit whining and over-dramatizing about my petty problems. Bisexual, clinical depression... Your petty problems when you were 16 were what, "Oh, I can't get a girlfriend! Wat do?" Mine are more like "Oh, my best friend just went into the bathroom and slit his wrists! Wat do?"
I can assure you that my problems at that age were entirely more significant than whether or not I could get a girl. Although, my problems, in comparison (much like yours and your friends) to others, were miniscule. And, slitting your wrists? I'm sure I sound like an ass, but that's just a phase. I had friends, and knew of people of "slit their wrists" in middle school and partly through high school, and was always entirely an attention seeker for them until they grew up and realized they were middle-class white kids without any real significant life problems. Oh well though, who doesn't get caught up in teenage angst at that age.
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On July 06 2011 14:06 TheSchwA wrote:Show nested quote +On July 06 2011 13:35 KingSC wrote:On July 06 2011 10:15 TheSchwA wrote:
Yup, I remember when I was 15-16 too. Then I realized there's people in the world who actually struggle with real depression and real issues and got real, and quit whining and over-dramatizing about my petty problems. Bisexual, clinical depression... Your petty problems when you were 16 were what, "Oh, I can't get a girlfriend! Wat do?" Mine are more like "Oh, my best friend just went into the bathroom and slit his wrists! Wat do?" I can assure you that my problems at that age were entirely more significant than whether or not I could get a girl. Although, my problems, in comparison (much like yours and your friends) to others, were miniscule. And, slitting your wrists? I'm sure I sound like an ass, but that's just a phase. I had friends, and knew of people of "slit their wrists" in middle school and partly through high school, and was always entirely an attention seeker for them until they grew up and realized they were middle-class white kids without any real significant life problems. Oh well though, who doesn't get caught up in teenage angst at that age.
No, by "slitting wrists" I didn't mean cutting. Almost all of us have done that at some point or another. No, by slitting wrists I meant "If the teacher didn't call 911 he would have bled out on the bathroom floor."
I call it cutting, and when I say someone slit their wrists, that's a form of suicide, not an albeit retarded form of self-expression.
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