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Hi, another blog post. It's a more light-hearted one where I don't try and be an angst teenager who thinks his metaphysical appreciation of swirling clouds and green grass.
This is about my second mother. Naturally you already have reasons to doubt that I would have an actual second mother and hence why you clicked to find out? Well, right off the bat, to save you from being even more deceived than usual (iNcontrol's Big Balls, anyone?), I don't have a second mother (thankfully). If I did, I should consider getting in touch with my first one.
In any case, this is about my barber. Is there a female wording for barber? Hairdresser? In any case, she's almost like my second mother. Back when I was a spoiled kid in Jersey, my mother use to cut my hair. She knew how I liked it, it was cheap (my father's Jewish if you're looking for stereotypes), easy and I didn't have to go anywhere. My hair had haters and lovers. My siblings would call me Goldilocks because my hair curled and was a golden blond/brown and I wasn't much popular on the school grounds (where gel and straight hair were the shit. Remember that hairstyle where people would gel it straight and then flip the tip upwards?).
I hated my hair and actually years combing it, trying to straight it out, it was also the reason I got frequent haircuts because it would always be cut low enough not to curl.
When my parents got divorced, my mother still cut my hair, but sometimes I'd be with my father when he needed a haircut and so would we go down to Freehold City to an actual barber. I had to learn to describe how to cut my hair. I didn't want it too short and I didn't want sideburns, yet the old guy would always fuck it up because it was difficult describing something that my mother did so easily. I would say: "make it short, trim it, but no side stuff" and he'd do his best, often leaving me as much hair as when I was a baby:
When my father walked in, the barbers would go: "Hey Doc" and when me and my brother would walk in they'd call us Doc Jrs. It was quite pleasant and had that sense of normality I always thrive these days in my young adult life. Nonetheless, the haircuts were decent, cheap (10 bucks) and I had no complaints. The old guys never spoke to us, always chatted with my father to find out about us, see what's up, etc. They were your typical barbermen: old, a little stocky and wore outdated polos or shirts with 80s-themed stripes.
One thing I did learn is that I never liked women haircutters. They are absolutely terrible. All the ones I've been to (which about 13 of them), cross 3 major lines with me: - they try and style my hair, this one fucking person cut my hair really short on the side and made the top unevenly longer, a sort of New Yorker effeminate look (sorry, I don't know any other way to describe it. I need to find a picture of someone with it. I'm thinking of an episode of Seinfeld, though essentially, it's just the shaved side and back while the top still has longer hair for styling).
- They think I have the tolerance of a female client, so they tug hard on my hair and brush really rough. It fucking hurts and makes me want to push every single mirror in that place
- They consistently compliment it, mousse it and wash it: "Such rich hair", "What lovely hair", "My daughter would love your hair"... Just cut my fucking hair. It takes the barbers 20 minutes to cut, it takes them 40 minutes to do the whole process for double the price.
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Naturally, we stopped going and for a long time, only my mother cut my hair (til I was 20).
But now... a new person has come into town! She's similar to where my father went when he moved to Raleigh, North Carolina. My father now visits an older asian woman who cuts while vaccuming your hair. Essentially, she has a vaccum cleaner attached to her razor and picks up any pieces that she cuts or shaves off. The downside? Well, it's noisy and two: she offers you a massage you can't say no to (she does it anyways, even if you reject).
In any case, yes: my second mother. This girl is absolutely perfect; she's fast, clean and really simple. She's asian, looks like she was a mother, yet no stranger to work and she works at the strangest place I could think of. Y'see, I'm of an olive skin, I'm either a light African-American or a toned white guy (I'm neither for the record). There's this rut barber shop off of the main street of St-Catherine (here in Montreal). It's right by a fire station where a ton of guys work out out in the open for passing women to glamour and appreciate and the barbers are all African-American, the stereotypical kind: they like their rap, R&B and have afros, combs in their hair, talk about basketball and the word "nigga" flows out like rain from dark clouds. Every other word is the "nigga, mah homie, nigga". I always feel out of place, but enjoy being in a culture I don't get exposed to often (Quebec isn't exactly heavily African-American). We have Blacks from Africa, Jamaica (he cuts really well) and some home-grown Montrealers. The place is a pimp purple with checkered tiling for the floors and I go in for one haircutter: The Mid-40s Asian.
Yeah, wtf? An asian haircutter among African-Americans? Nothing wrong with that, just so odd and peculiar. All the guys are in their 20s to 30s and she's this tiny (5"3, 110 pounds maybe?) Asian who's english is okay at best. She has her own lingo that you have to figure out on your own (my last two haircuts were... acceptable, purely because I didn't understand her lingo).
The place is called King Kuts and here's what you need to understand: - "You want line?", means if you want this bolded outline around your hair. It's weird and instead of having the edge of your hair dissolve into the skin like it naturally would, they can cut it where it becomes a bolded line, like a basketball.
- "I make corner?" To indicate that she design a pointy edge on the sideburns. Say no to this and it is very tedious and looks silly.
- "I go lower?" She will shave your back if you have any hair there. I kid you not. There's no way to reject her suggestions. But when she goes to low (she reaches my shoulder blades), readjust your seat casually and she'll stop.
- "What number you want?" You have to know the number of your blade. If you say 1, she'll cut it really short. If you say 3, she'll get it with enough to actually do something with it. I'm a 2 guy and it comes out relatively short and nice. No complaints :3 (less to wash!)
- Go in unshaved. She enjoys shaving you at no extra charge. She'll "make you look nice for your party" and make you smell nice, powder you up and shave your beard or whatever facial hair you have. You have to go unshaved or she'll feel down or a bit hurt (a sort of downward "oh"). I don't understand it either.
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And that's all there is to it. She's a nice lady, 10 bucks for the cut, 20 minutes and I look like my usual clean self ;D!
tl:dr: I go to an Asian (female) barber who cuts just like my mother, but works in a place called "King Kuts" that houses a lot of stereotypical African Americans and due to her english being not its best, you have to understand what she is trying to say to get the right cut.
  
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You're adorable as a baby, Torte. So happy~
I never had problems with hairdressers in terms of sex, but the quality of the haircut depended on the location... and I've been to some awful places. SuperCuts was the big loser here; that place was so fucking terrible, and the balloon they gave you afterwards wasn't much consolation for looking retarded for a few months.
The guy that cuts my hair now is named Yoshi, and I'm pretty sure he was a samurai in a past life. He works very deliberately, and he has this one technique that he uses when removing extra strands of hair from my head after finishing up with the scissors. He puts his fingers through my hair at opposite ends of my head, slowly moving his fingers together to meet at the middle of my head, and then he SNAPS his hands back and flings the extra hair away. Like, a lot of force is put behind it, to the point where it always feels like I'm in Mortal Kombat and I just got hit with a Fatality.
Good story as usual, Torte. 
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Haha i love it. I always had issues when i cut my hair also. The local haircut place there were like 6 people there, but you could not pick which one cut your hair. It was always the one who just finished would pick you up, but 5/6 of them were just terribad. I mean they always cut it about correctly, but i just had issues with all but this one chick. She was about 30 and some strange ethnicity, i could never figure it out.
Anyways, now i cut my hair myself, so that is pretty lame. Tell your mama hi next time you get cut up!
PS, You should get a line or two next time you get your hair did, nothing wrong with something different. My brother tries to get me to get one or two in everytime he helps me cut my hair. Oh and i am a number 3/2 as well.
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Hyrule18928 Posts
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I've never gotten the number question before, they usually figure a number, cut, then ask if this is right.
They start high and go lower. If it's too long, they go down a number.
The "what number" is substituted by the question: "What would you like" or "how would you like your hair cut?".
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On June 24 2011 02:14 Aeres wrote:You're adorable as a baby, Torte. So happy~ I never had problems with hairdressers in terms of sex, but the quality of the haircut depended on the location... and I've been to some awful places. SuperCuts was the big loser here; that place was so fucking terrible, and the balloon they gave you afterwards wasn't much consolation for looking retarded for a few months. The guy that cuts my hair now is named Yoshi, and I'm pretty sure he was a samurai in a past life. He works very deliberately, and he has this one technique that he uses when removing extra strands of hair from my head after finishing up with the scissors. He puts his fingers through my hair at opposite ends of my head, slowly moving his fingers together to meet at the middle of my head, and then he SNAPS his hands back and flings the extra hair away. Like, a lot of force is put behind it, to the point where it always feels like I'm in Mortal Kombat and I just got hit with a Fatality. Good story as usual, Torte.
That's fucked up, I've never heard of this technique. Maybe he was a samurai lolol
On June 24 2011 03:33 MaxField wrote:
Haha i love it. I always had issues when i cut my hair also. The local haircut place there were like 6 people there, but you could not pick which one cut your hair. It was always the one who just finished would pick you up, but 5/6 of them were just terribad. I mean they always cut it about correctly, but i just had issues with all but this one chick. She was about 30 and some strange ethnicity, i could never figure it out.
Anyways, now i cut my hair myself, so that is pretty lame. Tell your mama hi next time you get cut up!
PS, You should get a line or two next time you get your hair did, nothing wrong with something different. My brother tries to get me to get one or two in everytime he helps me cut my hair. Oh and i am a number 3/2 as well.
Yes, I know! My father had "a guy", so he was allowed to wait, but usually you'd get the first one ready. My brother and I would literally stall or pretend to be polite so we wouldn't wind up with the female who usually cut during weekends (when my father was on call instead of doing his usual rounds).
I don't like the line. It makes me feel aggressive or stylish when I enjoy casual or the standard :B
How do you cut your hair?
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On June 24 2011 04:30 Torte de Lini wrote:Show nested quote +On June 24 2011 02:14 Aeres wrote:You're adorable as a baby, Torte. So happy~ I never had problems with hairdressers in terms of sex, but the quality of the haircut depended on the location... and I've been to some awful places. SuperCuts was the big loser here; that place was so fucking terrible, and the balloon they gave you afterwards wasn't much consolation for looking retarded for a few months. The guy that cuts my hair now is named Yoshi, and I'm pretty sure he was a samurai in a past life. He works very deliberately, and he has this one technique that he uses when removing extra strands of hair from my head after finishing up with the scissors. He puts his fingers through my hair at opposite ends of my head, slowly moving his fingers together to meet at the middle of my head, and then he SNAPS his hands back and flings the extra hair away. Like, a lot of force is put behind it, to the point where it always feels like I'm in Mortal Kombat and I just got hit with a Fatality. Good story as usual, Torte. That's fucked up, I've never heard of this technique. Maybe he was a samurai lolol Show nested quote +On June 24 2011 03:33 MaxField wrote:
Haha i love it. I always had issues when i cut my hair also. The local haircut place there were like 6 people there, but you could not pick which one cut your hair. It was always the one who just finished would pick you up, but 5/6 of them were just terribad. I mean they always cut it about correctly, but i just had issues with all but this one chick. She was about 30 and some strange ethnicity, i could never figure it out.
Anyways, now i cut my hair myself, so that is pretty lame. Tell your mama hi next time you get cut up!
PS, You should get a line or two next time you get your hair did, nothing wrong with something different. My brother tries to get me to get one or two in everytime he helps me cut my hair. Oh and i am a number 3/2 as well. Yes, I know! My father had "a guy", so he was allowed to wait, but usually you'd get the first one ready. My brother and I would literally stall or pretend to be polite so we wouldn't wind up with the female who usually cut during weekends (when my father was on call instead of doing his usual rounds). I don't like the line. It makes me feel aggressive or stylish when I enjoy casual or the standard :B How do you cut your hair?
Well i used to do the top of my head one number higher than the bottom, you could really not tell, but since college, i did not want to spend 10 bucks every 3 weeks or so, so i just bought a little case that has buzzers in them, and like the numbers from 1-10, a little brush, a comb, and scissors. Then i just either have my bro or a friend help me out. I will just buzz my whole head one number (usualy a 3 or 2) and then have my assistant check to make sure it is all even and they will do the back of my head and around my ears without any number on, so it is just to make sure it is all clean. Nice and quick, but i do miss just being able to sit down and let a "professional" do the work for me. I think i might get it done today actually. haha
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Does anyone notice any misses or problems you have? I always wondered why the professionals are so careful around the ear and sideburns.
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Straight outta Johto18973 Posts
I don't always comment on your blogs, but they're normally fun to read. Keep it up.
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Thanks, I appreciate that. I really truly do enjoy comments.
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Since you're well on the way to getting 0 post-count in this blog alone I'll ask:
Do you want me to tell my story of how I've cut my own hair for the past 2 years here, or in my own blog?
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On June 24 2011 08:23 bITt.mAN wrote:
Since you're well on the way to getting 0 post-count in this blog alone I'll ask:
Do you want me to tell my story of how I've cut my own hair for the past 2 years here, or in my own blog?
Either or, whatever you post here generally goes unnoticed or gets little feedback.
If it's a great story, I suggest you just do your own blog :B you know I'll be there.
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My humble suggestions for things you could call your lovely hairdresser:
- Salon Queen
- Cinder-hair-la..
- Your Scissor-sister...
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To be honest, I've been looking at this other haircut place near my university. Figaro or something. Has a really cute young asian female who cuts there, she seems and looks chatty :3
Problem is 1. I don't like getting haircuts near people who might recognize me
2. I dunno if they take credit ): (I'm always out of cash)
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I started reading blogs alot after I started boring office internship a few weeks ago and found I sometimes enjoy it more than reading SC2 stuff (where its alot of balance whines and flame wars over and over again I'd think people should have gotten tired of by now). This is a peculiar recount and I feel inclined to leave a comment lol.
I always go to a new hairdresser everytime, never having found anyone I really like (but found some really bad ones). That sounds like many hairdressers I've been to in my life but really, I only cut my hair 2-3 times a year because I find it troublesome and pointless since I'm keeping my hair long (as a girl). Maybe one day I'll find this awesome hairdresser that spoils me and I'll swear by too haha.
On June 24 2011 12:54 Probulous wrote:My humble suggestions for things you could call your lovely hairdresser: - Salon Queen
- Cinder-hair-la..
- Your Scissor-sister...
Scissorella
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I can't stand long hair. My hair curls, so I guess it's different for me (it's so curly that it jams the razor if left grown).
Some guys have really rich hair though, practically female-like (no offense) and wonder how the hell do they do it.
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Oh i can never have long hair. I can honestly not remember the last time i had hair long enough that not combing it mattered. Probably around 4th grade though. Oh and about the question you asked earlier, i have never had anyone notice and misses i have had like on the majority of my head, but one time when my dad was doing the sides, he messed up one ear and it was noticable for about a week. Professionals definitely do it better, but anyone can do a good enough job to not pay attention.
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Ridiculously adorable.
Sorry, I know this is way after you posted the blog, but I just got around to reading it (I started it when you first posted, but was distracted by video games!).
:D
I really like her lingo and I agree that a salon can be really annoying and take too long, but I don't trust a barber to give me proper layers!
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you win the internets sir 'de lini. good night!
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Oh well thank you everyone. I hope you all truly enjoyed it~
I am possibly writing something long and tedious to read either tonight or tomorrow night :3
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EPT![[image loading]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v713/Xeroxer/P5290013.jpg)
