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The Diary of Edgar Allan Probe

Blogs > SirJolt
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SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-22 21:52:11
June 22 2011 20:30 GMT
#1
This is a true story that happened to me while I was doing research for my upcoming book (SirJolt's Galactic Travels: A Guidebook for the Would-be Xenographer). With all the focus on literacy here lately I thought I should share this before the main volume itself is released. The content here was hand-translated by me from it's original tonal probe-speak. Corrections to the finer points of my grammar would be much appreciated.

It happened, one dark and dreary evening, that I had the good fortune to encounter the tiny robot they call Edgar Allan Probe. He is a foppish gent, tending much toward the dandy, but seems to me to worry overmuch about the potential pitfalls of his perennial profession, a plague of prattling players preaching the virtues of the cannon rush.

[image loading]
A hastily drawn portrait of the man himself, Edgar Allan Probe, which I drew using some charcoal from the fire he'd used to boil the kettle as we took hot chocolate


You’ll have to excuse my rough translation, I made many estimations, but when I’d talk to Edgar all he’d ever say was, “Mrreow”

The Templar:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I wandered meek and leery,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a kreeing,
As of some one gently skreeling, skreeling at my main base door.
`'Tis some executor,' I muttered, `scratching at my main base door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was on the map Scrap Station,
And each separate fine libation wrought its stain upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my clumps surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Fenix -
For the rare and radiant zealot whom the angels named Fenix -
Dragoon here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain wailing of each yellow warpgate
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the pulsing of my core, I stood repeating
`'Tis some zealot entreating entrance at my main base door -
Some executor entreating entrance at my main’s front door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Zerg,' said I, `or Terran, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was mining, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no Protoss ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered words, `PsiStorm!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `PsiStorm!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my volts within me burning,
Soon again I heard a scratching somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my pylon’s lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis Automaton 2000 and nothing more!'

Down then I tore the warpgate, when, with many a flirt and shake,
In there stepped a stately templar of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, drifted above my main base floor -
Perched beside a core of cybers just above my main base floor -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this white templar beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient templar wandering from the scrap station -
Tell me what thy appelation is on the map’s scrap ridden shore!'
Quoth the templar, `Tassadar.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly thing to hear discourse so plainly,
Though his answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living protoss being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing man above his main base -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his main base floor,
With such name as `Tassadar.'

But the templar, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends I’ve known before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
The psychic said, `Mine some more.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Research storm."'

But the templar still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a bright archive in front of him and main base door;
Then, with early forge spinning, I betook myself to willing
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous ‘toss of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous ‘toss of yore
Meant in croaking `Research storm.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the ‘toss whose fiery eyes now burned into my robotic core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the nexus’ pulsing lining that the chronoboost gloated o'er,
But whose fervent violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
It shall press, ah, Psychic Storm!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by mutalisks whose wing-beats tinkled on the foetid air.
`Wretch,' I cried, `Zeratul hath lent thee - by these dark shrines he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of kheydarin!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this amulet!'
Quoth the templar, `Research storm.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm on planet Char? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the templar, `Instant Storms.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that Aiur we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, except the distant Kerrigan,
It shall wield a fated necklace, which the angels named kheydarin -
Clasp a rare and rich amulet, which the angels named kheydarin?'
Quoth the templar, `Instant Storms.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, ‘toss or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the map Scrap Station’s shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the templar, `Zergling Swarms.'

And the templar, never flitting, still is drifting, still is drifting,
On the foetid air of Scrap Station just above my main base floor;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted – feedback more!






+ Show Spoiler +
I'm so sorry, I don't even know who the target audience is anymore.



****
Moderator@SirJolt
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21549 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-22 20:37:56
June 22 2011 20:37 GMT
#2
There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.
Administrator
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
June 22 2011 20:41 GMT
#3
Holy check, I got nerd chills from reading that, though my poetry comprehension is quite poor.
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
Qumquat
Profile Joined April 2011
Israel353 Posts
June 22 2011 20:43 GMT
#4
Words of a genius...
I especially loved the raven, uh, I mean the Templar.
5/5
mordek
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States12704 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-22 20:47:20
June 22 2011 20:44 GMT
#5
<3 all of your work. Love it!

Edit: Just hit me, Tassadar correct spelling?
It is vanity to love what passes quickly and not to look ahead where eternal joy abides. Tiberius77 | Mordek #1881 "I took a mint!"
Monokeros
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
United States2493 Posts
June 22 2011 20:52 GMT
#6
Amazing I read every bit of it and wow just words yeah. good stuffs.
Keep the Dream Alive twitch.tv/monokerros
ProbeYourSCV
Profile Joined June 2011
Bahrain30 Posts
June 22 2011 20:56 GMT
#7
Good stuff bro, would be better if you recite this poem on youtube
Long Live the King
garbanzo
Profile Joined October 2009
United States4046 Posts
June 22 2011 21:02 GMT
#8
Seems like a really strange choice for a parody. It works quite well though, templars should totally say "research storm".
Even during difficult times, when I sat down to play the game, there were times where it felt like god has descended down and played [for me].
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28624 Posts
June 22 2011 21:12 GMT
#9
I second sonuvbob.
Moderator
flowSthead
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
1065 Posts
June 22 2011 21:15 GMT
#10
That was pretty badass.
"You can be creative but I will crush it under the iron fist of my conservative play." - Liquid`Tyler █ MVP ■ MC ■ Boxer ■ Grubby █
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
June 22 2011 21:30 GMT
#11
Hahaha, well done
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
June 22 2011 21:49 GMT
#12
That was cool... I'm proud of you
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
June 22 2011 21:53 GMT
#13
On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote:
There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.


On June 23 2011 06:12 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I second sonuvbob.


If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it
Moderator@SirJolt
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
June 22 2011 22:10 GMT
#14
I'm in love with everything you produce I can't believe bob and Drone wouldn't spotlight this.
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
3 Lions
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States3705 Posts
June 22 2011 22:14 GMT
#15
holy...
Redmark
Profile Joined March 2010
Canada2129 Posts
June 22 2011 22:17 GMT
#16
I don't know about poetic value but the most memorable thing about The Raven was how everything rhymed imo. Though I get that's it'd difficult to find SC stuff that rhymes with Lenore
Froadac
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States6733 Posts
June 22 2011 22:19 GMT
#17
Quite the epic rendition.

Not sure my english teacher would appreciate it though ^^
Hapahauli
Profile Joined May 2009
United States9305 Posts
June 22 2011 22:19 GMT
#18
Bravo... that's just... wow.
a talking rock that sprouts among the waves woosh
Stijx
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States804 Posts
June 22 2011 22:34 GMT
#19
... That was awesome. Amazing work ^_^
nttea
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Sweden4353 Posts
June 22 2011 22:50 GMT
#20
SHIT why would you do such a thing? so much work and so little praise!
HornyHerring
Profile Joined March 2011
Papua New Guinea1058 Posts
June 22 2011 23:02 GMT
#21
Wauw, amazing. Quite a quality piece right here.
oh, hai
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
June 22 2011 23:06 GMT
#22
On June 23 2011 06:53 SirJolt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote:
There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.


Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 06:12 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I second sonuvbob.


If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it


I was just wondering when I read this if anyone's ever gotten a star for consistently writing kickass shit (but not official tournament stuff and the like). If its possible, I think I know where everyones nomination would go! But I dont trust you to not get your star and then disappear, never to be seen again. + Show Spoiler +
Jk ofc. :D


And 5/5 of course, that was so good! :D:D:D
nailujk
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada27 Posts
June 22 2011 23:15 GMT
#23
Ah ha ha ha. Thoroughly enjoyable! GJ
MisterD
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Germany1338 Posts
June 22 2011 23:16 GMT
#24
Instant Storm!

brilliant read Thanks!
Gold isn't everything in life... you need wood, too!
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
June 22 2011 23:21 GMT
#25
On June 23 2011 08:06 Bibbit wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 06:53 SirJolt wrote:
On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote:
There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.


On June 23 2011 06:12 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I second sonuvbob.


If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it


I was just wondering when I read this if anyone's ever gotten a star for consistently writing kickass shit (but not official tournament stuff and the like). If its possible, I think I know where everyones nomination would go! But I dont trust you to not get your star and then disappear, never to be seen again. + Show Spoiler +
Jk ofc. :D


And 5/5 of course, that was so good! :D:D:D


I'm gonna level with you here Bibbit; I'm a rogue, a chancer. I'm a bit of a geezer. I show up, I post blogs, I steal stars wherever possible. That's just the kind of guy I am. I'm not going to deny it, and I'm not going to apologise for it.

+ Show Spoiler +
Of course, as long as we live in a world where FuDDx and Trozz don't have stars, I can hardly feel it to be an injustice. Those guys are both phenomenal.
Moderator@SirJolt
KimJongChill
Profile Joined January 2011
United States6429 Posts
June 22 2011 23:30 GMT
#26
Heh heh, I loved this, and I think there should be a starcraft2 poetry section. anyone with me?
MMA: U realise MMA: Most of my army EgIdra: fuck off MMA: Killed my orbital MMA: LOL MMA: just saying MMA: u werent loss
Meapak_Ziphh
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States6785 Posts
June 23 2011 00:00 GMT
#27
On June 23 2011 06:53 SirJolt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote:
There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.


Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 06:12 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I second sonuvbob.


If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it


Give this man a star... I already gave him 5 :D
Forti et Fideli ~ TL Mafia Forum: Come play with us! ~ Go Samsung KHAN, Stork, JangBi , Shine, Grape, and TurN Fighting!~ wat
mBombz
Profile Joined April 2010
United States71 Posts
June 23 2011 00:11 GMT
#28
So ridiculously awesome. Incredible work and thanks for sharing it with us!
FireBlast!
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United Kingdom5251 Posts
June 23 2011 00:18 GMT
#29
this is amazing. like absolutely amazing
Victoria Concordia Crescit
flowSthead
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
1065 Posts
June 23 2011 00:42 GMT
#30
On June 23 2011 08:21 SirJolt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 08:06 Bibbit wrote:
On June 23 2011 06:53 SirJolt wrote:
On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote:
There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.


On June 23 2011 06:12 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I second sonuvbob.


If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it


I was just wondering when I read this if anyone's ever gotten a star for consistently writing kickass shit (but not official tournament stuff and the like). If its possible, I think I know where everyones nomination would go! But I dont trust you to not get your star and then disappear, never to be seen again. + Show Spoiler +
Jk ofc. :D


And 5/5 of course, that was so good! :D:D:D


I'm gonna level with you here Bibbit; I'm a rogue, a chancer. I'm a bit of a geezer. I show up, I post blogs, I steal stars wherever possible. That's just the kind of guy I am. I'm not going to deny it, and I'm not going to apologise for it.

+ Show Spoiler +
Of course, as long as we live in a world where FuDDx and Trozz don't have stars, I can hardly feel it to be an injustice. Those guys are both phenomenal.


Hahaha, when I read this, I instantly pictured you as Mario.
"You can be creative but I will crush it under the iron fist of my conservative play." - Liquid`Tyler █ MVP ■ MC ■ Boxer ■ Grubby █
Tosho
Profile Joined August 2010
Australia498 Posts
June 23 2011 00:43 GMT
#31
Fantastic, made me smile like a fool the whole time reading it.
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
June 23 2011 00:51 GMT
#32
What the fuck did I just read!

Must read again!
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-23 00:54:03
June 23 2011 00:53 GMT
#33
On June 23 2011 09:42 flowSthead wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 08:21 SirJolt wrote:

I'm gonna level with you here Bibbit; I'm a rogue, a chancer. I'm a bit of a geezer. I show up, I post blogs, I steal stars wherever possible. That's just the kind of guy I am. I'm not going to deny it, and I'm not going to apologise for it.

+ Show Spoiler +
Of course, as long as we live in a world where FuDDx and Trozz don't have stars, I can hardly feel it to be an injustice. Those guys are both phenomenal.


Hahaha, when I read this, I instantly pictured you as Mario.


I'd actually like to revise my position on this one; I feel I've underrepresented myself.

If I ever manage to earn myself a star, I will immediately begin a campaign to be the first person to acquire two such stars.

By the time I die, I hope to have a profile bar that looks like an aging dictator's uniform - swathed in a panoply of medals I neither deserve nor look good wearing.
Moderator@SirJolt
Introvert
Profile Joined April 2011
United States4718 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-23 00:59:25
June 23 2011 00:54 GMT
#34
was "The Raven" your inspiration? Seems to be

Edit: someone seems to have mentioned this already. And not bad, but the rhyming could use a little work, just imo.
"It is therefore only at the birth of a society that one can be completely logical in the laws. When you see a people enjoying this advantage, do not hasten to conclude that it is wise; think rather that it is young." -Alexis de Tocqueville
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21549 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-23 01:05:54
June 23 2011 01:05 GMT
#35
On June 23 2011 06:53 SirJolt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote:
There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.


Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 06:12 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I second sonuvbob.


If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it

You want it removed? I could do that.

On June 23 2011 09:53 SirJolt wrote:
If I ever manage to earn myself a star, I will immediately begin a campaign to be the first person to acquire two such stars.

Too late, yakii has 2.
Administrator
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-23 01:58:11
June 23 2011 01:16 GMT
#36
There comes a moment in every man's life when he realises the enormity of achievement it would take to be the man he wishes he were.

Hopes dashed.

Man may not double-star by blog alone.

+ Show Spoiler +
Quoth the SirJolt, "Never-star"
Moderator@SirJolt
Andwhy
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States91 Posts
June 23 2011 01:34 GMT
#37
Well done, fine sir!

The poem is fantastic, and I particularly enjoyed the setup (especially the charcoal drawing) you produced beforehand. Thank you for this gift.
BlackMTsidE
Profile Joined March 2011
United States32 Posts
June 23 2011 02:09 GMT
#38
Epic.... well done, well done, sah!
nkulu
Profile Joined September 2010
United States242 Posts
June 23 2011 02:33 GMT
#39
Great job. This needs more love.
Masq
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1792 Posts
June 23 2011 02:45 GMT
#40
this is absolutely awesome... bravo
Ryuu314
Profile Joined October 2009
United States12679 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-23 02:49:42
June 23 2011 02:49 GMT
#41
holy shit


that was good -.-;
ComusLoM
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Norway3547 Posts
June 23 2011 03:10 GMT
#42
Wow this is just simply epic. Read it out loud of course, brilliant.
"The White Woman Speaks in Tongues That Are All Lies" - Incontrol; Member #37 of the Chill Fanclub
RoninShogun
Profile Joined November 2010
United States315 Posts
June 23 2011 03:24 GMT
#43
lol this post is wonderful. Though I sort of was hoping for the raven pun
Artosis: Yeah I was gonna probe rush but someone did that yesterday
CutieBK
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
Sweden227 Posts
June 23 2011 03:38 GMT
#44
Amazing stuff, man! Great work
GrapeD
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada679 Posts
June 23 2011 03:42 GMT
#45
Amazing.
Some people hurt people. I defenestrate those people.
IrOnKaL
Profile Joined June 2011
United States340 Posts
June 23 2011 03:43 GMT
#46
I laughed so hard. Good work man! Things like these that just brighten my day.
Lmui
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada6213 Posts
June 23 2011 04:05 GMT
#47
I'm amazed at how you had the time to do that but I honestly like the original more. It kind of doesn't have the same slight insanity that the guy pining for his lost Lenore did.

Original:

+ Show Spoiler +
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!
Andymoo
Profile Joined March 2011
United States110 Posts
June 23 2011 04:23 GMT
#48
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this SirJolt.

This is actually way too fantastic for words.
Liquid`EliGE
Profile Joined October 2010
United States527 Posts
June 23 2011 04:36 GMT
#49
Well, im not too good with understanding most good poems, so I think you did a pretty good job :D
Team Liquid"I was wondering why people who that would never dream of laughing at a blind or a crippled man would laugh at a moron."
Breadloaf
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States15 Posts
June 23 2011 04:51 GMT
#50
There are some things I wish were never replaced on the spotlight feed, some threads so precious that I wish they could be eternally enshrined on the front page. This is one of them. A pleasure.
leo23
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States3075 Posts
June 23 2011 04:53 GMT
#51
WOW I can't believe I went through all of it. Good job!
banelings
Juliette
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States6003 Posts
June 23 2011 04:58 GMT
#52
There were a few things missing but holy fuck
when i read

+ Show Spoiler +
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by mutalisks whose wing-beats tinkled on the foetid air.
`Wretch,' I cried, `Zeratul hath lent thee - by these dark shrines he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of kheydarin!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this amulet!'
Quoth the templar, `Research storm.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm on planet Char? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the templar, `Instant Storms.'

i burst out in laughter/agony

brilliant and well played sir.
OKAY FROM THAT PERSPECTIVE I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
Z3kk
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
4099 Posts
June 23 2011 05:08 GMT
#53
Wow, that was amazing. I agree precisely with Sonuvbob! :D
Failure is not falling down over and over again. Failure is refusing to get back up.
MaxField
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2386 Posts
June 23 2011 05:13 GMT
#54
My eyes started to burn due to the fantastical wording you concocted. A very great job!
"Zerg, so bad it loses to hydras" IdrA.
dudecrush
Profile Joined August 2010
Canada418 Posts
June 23 2011 05:37 GMT
#55
Mind = Blown...

You are a genius man. You always have the best blogs. You defiantly need that star.
Adaptation
Profile Joined August 2004
Canada427 Posts
June 23 2011 05:54 GMT
#56
Clap. clap.. clap(slow clapping, which is then followed by the entire crowd clapping)
So i did a 9 pool on an island map, so what?
DerNebel
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Denmark648 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-23 08:39:18
June 23 2011 08:37 GMT
#57
<3<3<3 you are sooo good

But the spotlight lied though, as this is a raven joke through and through.

EDIT: hahaha just saw your pm.
moofang
Profile Joined June 2011
508 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-23 09:57:57
June 23 2011 09:57 GMT
#58
Oh.my.gawd. <3 <3 <3 I wish I write like you.

Edit: oh wait its adapted from an existing poem? lol
Sprout
Profile Joined April 2011
Sweden62 Posts
June 23 2011 10:02 GMT
#59
Omg, love it! Edgar Allan Probe is awesome and you sir are a genius <3
[Sweden♥Korea](◕ᴥ◕)o自
Bswhunter
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Australia954 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-23 10:24:22
June 23 2011 10:21 GMT
#60
Fuck your amazing. I think your target audience is me btw, loved all your blogs
Stop browsing and do whatever it is you're supposed to do. TL will still be here when you get back
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
June 23 2011 10:44 GMT
#61
Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism
Moderator@SirJolt
endy
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Switzerland8970 Posts
June 23 2011 11:01 GMT
#62
Great read. 5/5
How long did it take you to write it ?
ॐ
suejak
Profile Joined March 2010
Japan545 Posts
June 23 2011 11:05 GMT
#63
Ya, I mean, no offense, but I personally wouldn't call substituting a few Starcraft-themed words into The Raven literary genius, lol. But it was funny, so nice work
Are you human?
Edmon
Profile Joined May 2010
United Kingdom259 Posts
June 23 2011 12:41 GMT
#64
On June 23 2011 19:44 SirJolt wrote:
Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism


Those people are everywhere I swear.
OmniEulogy
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada6592 Posts
June 23 2011 13:13 GMT
#65
On June 23 2011 19:44 SirJolt wrote:
Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism


You tempt me but this was too good to do such a thing. Great read ^^ How long did this take? lol
LiquidDota Staff
rastaban
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2294 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-23 13:26:04
June 23 2011 13:25 GMT
#66
On June 23 2011 05:41 eviltomahawk wrote:
Holy check, I got nerd chills from reading that, though my poetry comprehension is quite poor.


100% agree. This was fabulous, I can't imagine how long it took to write. This is one of the best literature parodies I have ever read, thanks so much for sharing. I think I will have to go back through your previous blogs as your writing style even from the comments on this post is phenomenal.
Tyler: "...damn it, that's StarCraft. Opening doors is what we do. Being the first to find food is the greatest pleasure a player can have!"
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
June 23 2011 13:59 GMT
#67
On June 23 2011 22:13 OmniEulogy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 19:44 SirJolt wrote:
Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism


You tempt me but this was too good to do such a thing. Great read ^^ How long did this take? lol


I wasn't going to answer this, because frankly I spend an embarrassing amount of time putting together a post when I feel like I've had an idea good enough to play with. This one wasn't actually all that bad, but it was kind of a fluke.

I just got lucky with the portrait, the first two pictures I snagged from Google images were exactly what I was looking for and clipped together well (yes, that is hair clipped from a portrait of Poe) and all I needed to do then was a little cloning and learn how to add grain in photoshop (these blogs are the only time I really use photoshop, so I learn something new everytime).

Photo: 15-20 minutes

Text: About 45 minutes, but I browsed TL and played around on Twitter throughout to stop me getting bored



Very glad people like it, there's always the chance that things will rub people the wrong way
Moderator@SirJolt
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
June 23 2011 14:19 GMT
#68
ahaha i didn't realize you actually used poes hair.
that means it gets 6 stars.
deep and moving, a testament to parodies potential
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
FetusFondler
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States246 Posts
June 23 2011 16:13 GMT
#69
I started laughing when I realized the title said "...Edgar Allen Probe"

Amazing work :D
None are so busy as the fool and knave.
AlienAlias
Profile Joined June 2009
United States324 Posts
June 23 2011 16:34 GMT
#70
Outstanding. I loved the Raven, and the Templar is wonderful as well
Sinborn
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States275 Posts
June 23 2011 16:37 GMT
#71
This is so damn good that I think that this takes up my slot for a MLG cheerful.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
June 23 2011 16:58 GMT
#72
On June 24 2011 01:37 Sinborn wrote:
This is so damn good that I think that this takes up my slot for a MLG cheerful.


If you get that on camera I will dedicate a blog post to you
Moderator@SirJolt
zJayy962
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
1363 Posts
June 23 2011 17:17 GMT
#73
Is it weird I read that whole thing in Day9's voice? Nonetheless it was quite epic.
forSeohyun
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
504 Posts
June 23 2011 17:35 GMT
#74
I think you should change the two "morrow" to "MorroW" or mouz.MorroW

Great stuff this. Made me think of an Mad-adaption of this poem..
Seohyun fan
dcemuser
Profile Joined August 2010
United States3248 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-23 17:46:50
June 23 2011 17:43 GMT
#75
I loved it.

However, I think it is actually counterproductive to your quest for a star to ask for it. Your work should speak for itself - "Damn that post was good, this guy needs a star".
FeaRDaMaN
Profile Joined October 2010
United States20 Posts
June 23 2011 17:51 GMT
#76
Rock on! Enjoyed the read!
Logo
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States7542 Posts
June 23 2011 18:18 GMT
#77
I love the mental image of 2 mutalisks holding a censer lolol. Great job.

Logo
qrs
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States3637 Posts
June 23 2011 20:31 GMT
#78
You totally killed the rhyme scheme.
'As per the American Heart Association, the beat of the Bee Gees song "Stayin' Alive" provides an ideal rhythm in terms of beats per minute to use for hands-only CPR. One can also hum Queen's "Another One Bites The Dust".' —Wikipedia
-Aura-
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States209 Posts
June 23 2011 22:45 GMT
#79
On June 24 2011 05:31 qrs wrote:
You totally killed the rhyme scheme.


Yeah it's a little off, but it's still pretty awesome.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Liquid get more Terrans please...
suejak
Profile Joined March 2010
Japan545 Posts
June 23 2011 22:59 GMT
#80
Ya, and he often replaces two-syllable words with four-syllable words, etc :D

Anything like this about Starcraft is fun to read, though.
Are you human?
Bedward
Profile Joined March 2011
United States28 Posts
June 23 2011 23:08 GMT
#81
hahaha, well done sir, am i the only one who read this in a TB voice? o.o
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”~ Friedrich Nietzsche
PourLaGloire
Profile Joined February 2011
United States376 Posts
June 23 2011 23:19 GMT
#82
Wow. Very well done.
MangoTango
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States3670 Posts
June 23 2011 23:20 GMT
#83
On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote:
There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.


loooooooooool <3

epic poem
"One fish, two fish, red fish, BLUE TANK!" - Artosis
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25550 Posts
June 23 2011 23:34 GMT
#84
My only regret is that I have but one 5-star rating to give for this blog post.
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Char711
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States862 Posts
June 23 2011 23:47 GMT
#85
On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote:
There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.

Truer words never spoken. Change it to "in a great way."
"If you can chill, chill." -Liquid`Tyler "Special tactics." -White-Ra
jorge_the_awesome
Profile Joined January 2011
United States463 Posts
June 24 2011 00:00 GMT
#86
On June 24 2011 08:34 Blazinghand wrote:
My only regret is that I have but one 5-star rating to give for this blog post.

Don't worry I'll give it another 5 for you.
"Clothes are stupid"-Tastosis "Every dragoon that has ever been made is dumber than a bowl of hair" -Day[9] "Where are you going to take this skill now?" Stephano- "To the bank!" "Baby stuck under a car and you can't lift it up? What a wimp"-Artosis
Pl4t0
Profile Joined August 2010
United States103 Posts
June 24 2011 00:05 GMT
#87
Get TotalBiscuit to recite this on Youtube!
"Chess is the greatest game ever made, but Starcraft is a worthy successor."
operwolf
Profile Joined April 2008
United States324 Posts
June 24 2011 00:08 GMT
#88
Nice job mate! Most entertaining read I've had in quite a while.
He'll end up dead, because he'll die.
iamcaustic
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
Canada1509 Posts
June 24 2011 01:02 GMT
#89
I felt the need to narrate this out loud in an epic voice as I read it; for some reason it seemed nothing else would suffice.

5/5
Twitter: @iamcaustic
Rylaji
Profile Joined January 2011
Sweden580 Posts
June 24 2011 01:06 GMT
#90
You need help!


But you are also awesome =)
Official Fan of; Obama oGs.MC // God of War ST.JulyZerg // d.Naniwa // ST.Squirtle // SlayerS_Alicia // Emperor SlayerS_BoxeR // EG.HuK // White-Ra // MarineKing.Prime.WE // oGs.NaDa's Body // SlayerS.MMA // MvP.DongRaeGu
MK4512
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada938 Posts
June 24 2011 01:54 GMT
#91
"Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by mutalisks whose wing-beats tinkled on the foetid air."

LOL, mutas = angels of seraphim...

epic, really great job 5/5
Chill: "Please let us know when you will be streaming yourself eating a hat so I can put it on the calendar. Thanks."
Tortious_Tortoise
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States944 Posts
June 24 2011 02:21 GMT
#92
I'm sorry. You have butchered Edgar Allen Poe. I can never forgive you for this.
Treating eSports as a social science since 2011; Credo: "The system is never wrong"-- Day9 Daily #400 Part 3
Laneir
Profile Joined September 2010
United States1160 Posts
June 24 2011 08:25 GMT
#93
lmao great stuff good job
Follow me on Instagram @Chef_Betto
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
June 24 2011 08:38 GMT
#94
On June 23 2011 19:44 SirJolt wrote:
Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism


At last, all is right with the world.

&#91;image loading&#93;

I feel as though there was an imbalance in my heart.
Moderator@SirJolt
Dundrio
Profile Joined March 2011
Norway35 Posts
June 24 2011 10:37 GMT
#95
If you don't make one for zerg and terran it will be imbalanced. Awesome work^^
Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music.
IVFearless
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States165 Posts
June 24 2011 13:34 GMT
#96
Fantastic! That made my day.
Johnzee
Profile Joined April 2011
United States216 Posts
June 24 2011 13:48 GMT
#97
You sir, are winner.

You have received: 1 internets
“A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest.” - C.S. Lewis
Nifarious
Profile Joined March 2010
United States42 Posts
June 24 2011 16:46 GMT
#98
Cute, but as someone who actually knows this stuff, it's pretty hard to read...as in bad. Poe btw was in no way a fop, and your meter is off in parts.
overlord cuddler
suejak
Profile Joined March 2010
Japan545 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-25 02:01:20
June 25 2011 01:58 GMT
#99
On June 25 2011 01:46 Nifarious wrote:
Cute, but as someone who actually knows this stuff, it's pretty hard to read...as in bad. Poe btw was in no way a fop, and your meter is off in parts.

I think you're missing the point :D

Yes, it's a bad poem. But it's a good Starcrafty thing.
Are you human?
minus_human
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
4784 Posts
June 25 2011 02:59 GMT
#100
On June 24 2011 17:38 SirJolt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 23 2011 19:44 SirJolt wrote:
Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism


At last, all is right with the world.

[image loading]

I feel as though there was an imbalance in my heart.


Rofl

great work by the way;)
Loophole
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States867 Posts
June 25 2011 08:16 GMT
#101
tl;dr press T
"Fundamental preparation is always effective. Work on those parts of your game that are fundamentally weak." -Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
unichan
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States4223 Posts
June 25 2011 08:30 GMT
#102
that was adorable
:)
hatespam
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Romania161 Posts
June 25 2011 12:57 GMT
#103
voice interpretation would definetly be awsome, perhaps done by some famous player(s).
ask, and you shall have asked
Subversive
Profile Joined October 2009
Australia2229 Posts
June 25 2011 16:39 GMT
#104
On June 25 2011 01:46 Nifarious wrote:
Cute, but as someone who actually knows this stuff, it's pretty hard to read...as in bad. Poe btw was in no way a fop, and your meter is off in parts.

Good points and I agree with you. But I can still be happy with it even if he knows nothing about Poe and it's rough in parts. It's still great as an sc related parody.
#1 Great fan ~ // Khan // FlaSh // JangBi // EffOrt //
[F_]aths
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Germany3947 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-26 01:00:56
June 26 2011 00:56 GMT
#105
What is this?

I understand the words, but not the sense. Nonetheless, I like it somehow. Very strange.
You don't choose to play zerg. The zerg choose you.
MagnusHyperion
Profile Joined August 2010
United States288 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-26 05:46:02
June 26 2011 05:45 GMT
#106
THIS IS AMAZING!

I read it aloud with slowly increasing pace to add in the proper emphasis and, let me tell you, this is sheer brilliance! The overall flow was barely disturbed by your modifications!

Good show, sir!
UC Davis Fighting!!! Support CSL visit their webpage and watch their streams!
DisaFear
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Australia4074 Posts
June 26 2011 08:02 GMT
#107
Perfect for English class, I could look like I was working while on TeamLiquid
How devious | http://anartisticanswer.blogspot.com.au/
deusarba
Profile Joined May 2011
Croatia27 Posts
June 26 2011 19:24 GMT
#108
Excellent!
PiRate647
Profile Joined January 2011
Belgium187 Posts
June 26 2011 22:37 GMT
#109
my favourite poem ... as much as i would like to praise your work... hope you can understand my sentiment :0
"Who always takes a taxi, but never pays a fare?" - "Vegeta!?" ||||exclusively a fan of RET!! .... and perhaps ClouD !
Game
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
3191 Posts
June 27 2011 00:17 GMT
#110
On June 24 2011 22:48 Johnzee wrote:
You sir, are winner.

You have received: 1 internets


hahaha
SC is like sex. You should play often, but never too hard. And you should only try hard when it matters.
Shockk
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Germany2269 Posts
June 27 2011 05:46 GMT
#111
On June 24 2011 09:05 Pl4t0 wrote:
Get TotalBiscuit to recite this on Youtube!


I second this.
Selkie
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States530 Posts
June 27 2011 15:43 GMT
#112
On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote:
There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.


bwahahahahahahahaha.

Yes, I'm going to agree with this, and I think I'm going to send this to my old english teacher.
MFMulti
Profile Joined March 2011
Sweden69 Posts
June 27 2011 17:11 GMT
#113
Very nice read! Good job! =)
glhf ♥
goswser
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States3519 Posts
June 28 2011 04:01 GMT
#114
wow this is really good, I am happy, 5/5
say you were born into a jungle indian tribe where food was scarce...would you run around from teepee to teepee stealing meat scraps after a day lazying around doing nothing except warming urself by a fire that you didn't even make yourself? -rekrul
Genovi
Profile Joined May 2010
Sweden388 Posts
June 28 2011 09:57 GMT
#115
I wish i had your grasp of the english language. That was absolutely amazing.. I love you...
We fucking lost team - RTZ
Alejandrisha
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6565 Posts
June 28 2011 16:01 GMT
#116
thank you sir jolt you never diappoint! :D
get rich or die mining
TL+ Member
ViperaViRuS
Profile Joined May 2011
United States82 Posts
June 28 2011 18:02 GMT
#117
On June 27 2011 14:46 Shockk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 24 2011 09:05 Pl4t0 wrote:
Get TotalBiscuit to recite this on Youtube!


I second this.


Although I love TotalBiscuit's voice, I just have James Earl Jones in mind since he recited The Raven so well. Sure he doesn't know anything about Starcraft (I assume), but his recitation would make this even more enjoyable.

That was a very entertaining read though.
"CHILL GET OUT" -NaNiwa
Ninja_Bread
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States113 Posts
June 28 2011 21:02 GMT
#118
amazing.
Mang
FakeDouble
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Australia676 Posts
June 29 2011 03:02 GMT
#119
Better than the original XD
Formerly known as carbonaceous
Dimon87
Profile Joined January 2011
Sweden218 Posts
June 29 2011 15:18 GMT
#120
Holy Check! I tip my hat to you sir.
sylverfyre
Profile Joined May 2010
United States8298 Posts
June 29 2011 23:50 GMT
#121
Reading it aloud was really fun! Thank you.
DMaster
Profile Joined April 2011
Romania61 Posts
July 02 2011 13:56 GMT
#122
what have you done ?
mTwDimaga - I have zerg in my blood !
SxYSpAz
Profile Joined February 2011
United States1451 Posts
July 04 2011 02:30 GMT
#123
i wish i understood poetry better, it flowed nicely though, and what i did comprehend was pure gold. really cool. tyty
Idgaf
Profile Joined November 2010
United States16 Posts
July 04 2011 08:42 GMT
#124
CO CO CO COMBO BREAKER!!!10/10 points man good job!
I was so messed up, I did a line out of a strippers grak....
Astyanaxis
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States25 Posts
July 05 2011 02:11 GMT
#125
Technically, this entire pose is a Raven joke, but who's keeping score, right?

On Topic: Well done. I chuckled a bit but found some of it to not make sense. Like in the original Raven poem, it's a poem about a guy brooding deeply about the loss (probably by death) of a loved on of his (namely the lovely Lenore). This man is disturbed, depressed, and rather lonely yet intelligent and relatively well off (judging by the texts of "forgotten lore" and "velvet" (a rather costly material at the time) within his house in addition to the many-times mentioned fact that the bird is sitting atop the bust of "Pallas" [Athena] - Greek goddess of wisdom). So, in order to do a good parody (which this one began but then got lost I think), we'd have to ask some rather silly questions: what would a probe want? What would a probe be grieving over? Is there anything that would make a probe lament? What would at first seem like a cute distraction but then possibly turn into an omen of evil for a probe? Near the end of The Raven, the speaker of the poem begins to ask the eponymous creature "is Lenore in heaven?" and "will I ever 'see' her again?" to which the raven replies "hell no." And also, the raven says that it will always haunt the speaker of the poem. Creepy.

Also, I just realized the pointlessness of trying to make a 1 for 1 parody of this poem, but I loved the alliteration you used at the beginning of this piece.
Maintain
Profile Joined June 2011
United States22 Posts
July 05 2011 04:18 GMT
#126
Two thumbs up! Would love to see more people express their creativity and talents as you have so convincingly done :-).
N.A. Zerg | Master's division Artanis Omega | maintain.317
Skank
Profile Joined October 2010
United States329 Posts
July 15 2011 05:20 GMT
#127
This should of promoted you to NA Grandmasters League in the SC2 Blogosphere. I'm in impressed by your endurance to rewrite the ENTIRE poem, goodjob.

You have the greatest blog on TL, keep it up :D
"To be honest, to play protoss is ridiculously simple" -NesTea
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