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the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
This is a true story that happened to me while I was doing research for my upcoming book (SirJolt's Galactic Travels: A Guidebook for the Would-be Xenographer). With all the focus on literacy here lately I thought I should share this before the main volume itself is released. The content here was hand-translated by me from it's original tonal probe-speak. Corrections to the finer points of my grammar would be much appreciated.
It happened, one dark and dreary evening, that I had the good fortune to encounter the tiny robot they call Edgar Allan Probe. He is a foppish gent, tending much toward the dandy, but seems to me to worry overmuch about the potential pitfalls of his perennial profession, a plague of prattling players preaching the virtues of the cannon rush.
A hastily drawn portrait of the man himself, Edgar Allan Probe, which I drew using some charcoal from the fire he'd used to boil the kettle as we took hot chocolate
You’ll have to excuse my rough translation, I made many estimations, but when I’d talk to Edgar all he’d ever say was, “Mrreow”
The Templar:
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I wandered meek and leery, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a kreeing, As of some one gently skreeling, skreeling at my main base door. `'Tis some executor,' I muttered, `scratching at my main base door - Only this, and nothing more.'
Ah, distinctly I remember it was on the map Scrap Station, And each separate fine libation wrought its stain upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow From my clumps surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Fenix - For the rare and radiant zealot whom the angels named Fenix - Dragoon here for evermore.
And the silken sad uncertain wailing of each yellow warpgate Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the pulsing of my core, I stood repeating `'Tis some zealot entreating entrance at my main base door - Some executor entreating entrance at my main’s front door; - This it is, and nothing more,'
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, `Zerg,' said I, `or Terran, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was mining, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; - Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no Protoss ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered words, `PsiStorm!' This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `PsiStorm!' Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my volts within me burning, Soon again I heard a scratching somewhat louder than before. `Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my pylon’s lattice; Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore - Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; - 'Tis Automaton 2000 and nothing more!'
Down then I tore the warpgate, when, with many a flirt and shake, In there stepped a stately templar of the saintly days of yore. Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, drifted above my main base floor - Perched beside a core of cybers just above my main base floor - Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this white templar beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, `Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven. Ghastly grim and ancient templar wandering from the scrap station - Tell me what thy appelation is on the map’s scrap ridden shore!' Quoth the templar, `Tassadar.'
Much I marvelled this ungainly thing to hear discourse so plainly, Though his answer little meaning - little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no living protoss being Ever yet was blessed with seeing man above his main base - Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his main base floor, With such name as `Tassadar.'
But the templar, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only, That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered - Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends I’ve known before - On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.' The psychic said, `Mine some more.'
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, `Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store, Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore - Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore Of "Research storm."'
But the templar still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling, Straight I wheeled a bright archive in front of him and main base door; Then, with early forge spinning, I betook myself to willing Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous ‘toss of yore - What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous ‘toss of yore Meant in croaking `Research storm.'
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the ‘toss whose fiery eyes now burned into my robotic core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the nexus’ pulsing lining that the chronoboost gloated o'er, But whose fervent violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er, It shall press, ah, Psychic Storm!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by mutalisks whose wing-beats tinkled on the foetid air. `Wretch,' I cried, `Zeratul hath lent thee - by these dark shrines he has sent thee Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of kheydarin! Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this amulet!' Quoth the templar, `Research storm.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! - Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted - On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore - Is there - is there balm on planet Char? - tell me - tell me, I implore!' Quoth the templar, `Instant Storms.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us - by that Aiur we both adore - Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, except the distant Kerrigan, It shall wield a fated necklace, which the angels named kheydarin - Clasp a rare and rich amulet, which the angels named kheydarin?' Quoth the templar, `Instant Storms.'
`Be that word our sign of parting, ‘toss or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting - `Get thee back into the tempest and the map Scrap Station’s shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!' Quoth the templar, `Zergling Swarms.'
And the templar, never flitting, still is drifting, still is drifting, On the foetid air of Scrap Station just above my main base floor; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted – feedback more!
+ Show Spoiler +I'm so sorry, I don't even know who the target audience is anymore.
   
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There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.
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Holy check, I got nerd chills from reading that, though my poetry comprehension is quite poor.
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Words of a genius... I especially loved the raven, uh, I mean the Templar. 5/5
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<3 all of your work. Love it!
Edit: Just hit me, Tassadar correct spelling?
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Amazing I read every bit of it and wow just words yeah. good stuffs.
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Good stuff bro, would be better if you recite this poem on youtube
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Seems like a really strange choice for a parody. It works quite well though, templars should totally say "research storm".
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Norway28582 Posts
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Hahaha, well done
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That was cool... I'm proud of you
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the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote: There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.
On June 23 2011 06:12 Liquid`Drone wrote: I second sonuvbob.
If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it
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Katowice25012 Posts
I'm in love with everything you produce I can't believe bob and Drone wouldn't spotlight this.
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3 Lions
United States3705 Posts
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I don't know about poetic value but the most memorable thing about The Raven was how everything rhymed imo. Though I get that's it'd difficult to find SC stuff that rhymes with Lenore
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Quite the epic rendition.
Not sure my english teacher would appreciate it though ^^
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Bravo... that's just... wow.
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... That was awesome. Amazing work ^_^
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SHIT why would you do such a thing? so much work and so little praise!
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Papua New Guinea1058 Posts
Wauw, amazing. Quite a quality piece right here.
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On June 23 2011 06:53 SirJolt wrote:Show nested quote +On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote: There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change. If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it 
I was just wondering when I read this if anyone's ever gotten a star for consistently writing kickass shit (but not official tournament stuff and the like). If its possible, I think I know where everyones nomination would go! But I dont trust you to not get your star and then disappear, never to be seen again. + Show Spoiler +
And 5/5 of course, that was so good! :D:D:D
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Ah ha ha ha. Thoroughly enjoyable! GJ
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Instant Storm!
brilliant read Thanks!
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the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
On June 23 2011 08:06 Bibbit wrote:Show nested quote +On June 23 2011 06:53 SirJolt wrote:On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote: There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change. On June 23 2011 06:12 Liquid`Drone wrote: I second sonuvbob. If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it  I was just wondering when I read this if anyone's ever gotten a star for consistently writing kickass shit (but not official tournament stuff and the like). If its possible, I think I know where everyones nomination would go! But I dont trust you to not get your star and then disappear, never to be seen again. + Show Spoiler +And 5/5 of course, that was so good! :D:D:D
I'm gonna level with you here Bibbit; I'm a rogue, a chancer. I'm a bit of a geezer. I show up, I post blogs, I steal stars wherever possible. That's just the kind of guy I am. I'm not going to deny it, and I'm not going to apologise for it.
+ Show Spoiler +Of course, as long as we live in a world where FuDDx and Trozz don't have stars, I can hardly feel it to be an injustice. Those guys are both phenomenal.
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Heh heh, I loved this, and I think there should be a starcraft2 poetry section. anyone with me?
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On June 23 2011 06:53 SirJolt wrote:Show nested quote +On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote: There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change. If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it 
Give this man a star... I already gave him 5 :D
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So ridiculously awesome. Incredible work and thanks for sharing it with us!
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this is amazing. like absolutely amazing
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On June 23 2011 08:21 SirJolt wrote:Show nested quote +On June 23 2011 08:06 Bibbit wrote:On June 23 2011 06:53 SirJolt wrote:On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote: There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change. On June 23 2011 06:12 Liquid`Drone wrote: I second sonuvbob. If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it  I was just wondering when I read this if anyone's ever gotten a star for consistently writing kickass shit (but not official tournament stuff and the like). If its possible, I think I know where everyones nomination would go! But I dont trust you to not get your star and then disappear, never to be seen again. + Show Spoiler +And 5/5 of course, that was so good! :D:D:D I'm gonna level with you here Bibbit; I'm a rogue, a chancer. I'm a bit of a geezer. I show up, I post blogs, I steal stars wherever possible. That's just the kind of guy I am. I'm not going to deny it, and I'm not going to apologise for it. + Show Spoiler +Of course, as long as we live in a world where FuDDx and Trozz don't have stars, I can hardly feel it to be an injustice. Those guys are both phenomenal.
Hahaha, when I read this, I instantly pictured you as Mario.
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Fantastic, made me smile like a fool the whole time reading it.
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What the fuck did I just read!
Must read again!
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the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
On June 23 2011 09:42 flowSthead wrote:Show nested quote +On June 23 2011 08:21 SirJolt wrote:I'm gonna level with you here Bibbit; I'm a rogue, a chancer. I'm a bit of a geezer. I show up, I post blogs, I steal stars wherever possible. That's just the kind of guy I am. I'm not going to deny it, and I'm not going to apologise for it. + Show Spoiler +Of course, as long as we live in a world where FuDDx and Trozz don't have stars, I can hardly feel it to be an injustice. Those guys are both phenomenal. Hahaha, when I read this, I instantly pictured you as Mario.
I'd actually like to revise my position on this one; I feel I've underrepresented myself.
If I ever manage to earn myself a star, I will immediately begin a campaign to be the first person to acquire two such stars.
By the time I die, I hope to have a profile bar that looks like an aging dictator's uniform - swathed in a panoply of medals I neither deserve nor look good wearing.
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was "The Raven" your inspiration? Seems to be 
Edit: someone seems to have mentioned this already. And not bad, but the rhyming could use a little work, just imo.
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On June 23 2011 06:53 SirJolt wrote:Show nested quote +On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote: There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change. If either of you can fix this star problem I've got going on ↓ I'd super appreciate it  You want it removed? I could do that.
On June 23 2011 09:53 SirJolt wrote: If I ever manage to earn myself a star, I will immediately begin a campaign to be the first person to acquire two such stars. Too late, yakii has 2.
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the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
There comes a moment in every man's life when he realises the enormity of achievement it would take to be the man he wishes he were.
Hopes dashed.
Man may not double-star by blog alone.
+ Show Spoiler +Quoth the SirJolt, "Never-star"
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Well done, fine sir!
The poem is fantastic, and I particularly enjoyed the setup (especially the charcoal drawing) you produced beforehand. Thank you for this gift.
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Epic.... well done, well done, sah!
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Great job. This needs more love.
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this is absolutely awesome... bravo
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holy shit
that was good -.-;
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Wow this is just simply epic. Read it out loud of course, brilliant.
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lol this post is wonderful. Though I sort of was hoping for the raven pun
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Amazing stuff, man! Great work
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I laughed so hard. Good work man! Things like these that just brighten my day.
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I'm amazed at how you had the time to do that but I honestly like the original more. It kind of doesn't have the same slight insanity that the guy pining for his lost Lenore did.
Original:
+ Show Spoiler +Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. `'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door - Only this, and nothing more.'
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore - For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore - Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating `'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door - Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; - This it is, and nothing more,'
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, `Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; - Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!' This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!' Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. `Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice; Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore - Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; - 'Tis the wind and nothing more!'
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore. Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door - Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door - Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, `Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven. Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore - Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door - Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as `Nevermore.'
But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only, That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered - Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before - On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.' Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, `Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store, Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore - Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore Of "Never-nevermore."'
But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door; Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore - What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er, But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er, She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor. `Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore! Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! - Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted - On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore - Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore - Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore - Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting - `Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted - nevermore!
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From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this SirJolt.
This is actually way too fantastic for words.
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United States527 Posts
Well, im not too good with understanding most good poems, so I think you did a pretty good job :D
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There are some things I wish were never replaced on the spotlight feed, some threads so precious that I wish they could be eternally enshrined on the front page. This is one of them. A pleasure.
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WOW I can't believe I went through all of it. Good job!
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There were a few things missing but holy fuck when i read
+ Show Spoiler +Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by mutalisks whose wing-beats tinkled on the foetid air. `Wretch,' I cried, `Zeratul hath lent thee - by these dark shrines he has sent thee Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of kheydarin! Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this amulet!' Quoth the templar, `Research storm.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! - Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted - On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore - Is there - is there balm on planet Char? - tell me - tell me, I implore!' Quoth the templar, `Instant Storms.' i burst out in laughter/agony
brilliant and well played sir.
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Wow, that was amazing. I agree precisely with Sonuvbob! :D
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My eyes started to burn due to the fantastical wording you concocted. A very great job!
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Mind = Blown...
You are a genius man. You always have the best blogs. You defiantly need that star.
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Clap. clap.. clap(slow clapping, which is then followed by the entire crowd clapping)
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<3<3<3 you are sooo good 
But the spotlight lied though, as this is a raven joke through and through.
EDIT: hahaha just saw your pm.
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Oh.my.gawd. <3 <3 <3 I wish I write like you.
Edit: oh wait its adapted from an existing poem? lol
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Omg, love it! Edgar Allan Probe is awesome and you sir are a genius <3
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Fuck your amazing. I think your target audience is me btw, loved all your blogs
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the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism
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Switzerland8970 Posts
Great read. 5/5 How long did it take you to write it ?
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Ya, I mean, no offense, but I personally wouldn't call substituting a few Starcraft-themed words into The Raven literary genius, lol. But it was funny, so nice work
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On June 23 2011 19:44 SirJolt wrote:Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism 
Those people are everywhere I swear.
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On June 23 2011 19:44 SirJolt wrote:Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism 
You tempt me but this was too good to do such a thing. Great read ^^ How long did this take? lol
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On June 23 2011 05:41 eviltomahawk wrote: Holy check, I got nerd chills from reading that, though my poetry comprehension is quite poor.
100% agree. This was fabulous, I can't imagine how long it took to write. This is one of the best literature parodies I have ever read, thanks so much for sharing. I think I will have to go back through your previous blogs as your writing style even from the comments on this post is phenomenal.
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the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
On June 23 2011 22:13 OmniEulogy wrote:Show nested quote +On June 23 2011 19:44 SirJolt wrote:Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism  You tempt me but this was too good to do such a thing. Great read ^^ How long did this take? lol
I wasn't going to answer this, because frankly I spend an embarrassing amount of time putting together a post when I feel like I've had an idea good enough to play with. This one wasn't actually all that bad, but it was kind of a fluke.
I just got lucky with the portrait, the first two pictures I snagged from Google images were exactly what I was looking for and clipped together well (yes, that is hair clipped from a portrait of Poe) and all I needed to do then was a little cloning and learn how to add grain in photoshop (these blogs are the only time I really use photoshop, so I learn something new everytime).
Photo: 15-20 minutes
Text: About 45 minutes, but I browsed TL and played around on Twitter throughout to stop me getting bored
Very glad people like it, there's always the chance that things will rub people the wrong way
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ahaha i didn't realize you actually used poes hair. that means it gets 6 stars. deep and moving, a testament to parodies potential
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I started laughing when I realized the title said "...Edgar Allen Probe"
Amazing work :D
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Outstanding. I loved the Raven, and the Templar is wonderful as well
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This is so damn good that I think that this takes up my slot for a MLG cheerful.
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the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
On June 24 2011 01:37 Sinborn wrote: This is so damn good that I think that this takes up my slot for a MLG cheerful.
If you get that on camera I will dedicate a blog post to you
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Is it weird I read that whole thing in Day9's voice? Nonetheless it was quite epic.
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I think you should change the two "morrow" to "MorroW" or mouz.MorroW 
Great stuff this. Made me think of an Mad-adaption of this poem..
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I loved it.
However, I think it is actually counterproductive to your quest for a star to ask for it. Your work should speak for itself - "Damn that post was good, this guy needs a star".
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Rock on! Enjoyed the read!
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I love the mental image of 2 mutalisks holding a censer lolol. Great job.
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You totally killed the rhyme scheme.
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On June 24 2011 05:31 qrs wrote: You totally killed the rhyme scheme.
Yeah it's a little off, but it's still pretty awesome.
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Ya, and he often replaces two-syllable words with four-syllable words, etc :D
Anything like this about Starcraft is fun to read, though.
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hahaha, well done sir, am i the only one who read this in a TB voice? o.o
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On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote: There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.
loooooooooool <3
epic poem
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Blazinghand
United States25550 Posts
My only regret is that I have but one 5-star rating to give for this blog post.
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On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote: There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change. Truer words never spoken. Change it to "in a great way."
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On June 24 2011 08:34 Blazinghand wrote: My only regret is that I have but one 5-star rating to give for this blog post. Don't worry I'll give it another 5 for you.
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Get TotalBiscuit to recite this on Youtube!
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Nice job mate! Most entertaining read I've had in quite a while.
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I felt the need to narrate this out loud in an epic voice as I read it; for some reason it seemed nothing else would suffice.
5/5
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You need help!
But you are also awesome =)
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"Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by mutalisks whose wing-beats tinkled on the foetid air."
LOL, mutas = angels of seraphim...
epic, really great job 5/5
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I'm sorry. You have butchered Edgar Allen Poe. I can never forgive you for this.
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lmao great stuff good job
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the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
On June 23 2011 19:44 SirJolt wrote:Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism 
At last, all is right with the world.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/m2N7x.png)
I feel as though there was an imbalance in my heart.
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If you don't make one for zerg and terran it will be imbalanced. Awesome work^^
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Fantastic! That made my day.
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You sir, are winner.
You have received: 1 internets
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Cute, but as someone who actually knows this stuff, it's pretty hard to read...as in bad. Poe btw was in no way a fop, and your meter is off in parts.
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On June 25 2011 01:46 Nifarious wrote: Cute, but as someone who actually knows this stuff, it's pretty hard to read...as in bad. Poe btw was in no way a fop, and your meter is off in parts. I think you're missing the point :D
Yes, it's a bad poem. But it's a good Starcrafty thing.
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On June 24 2011 17:38 SirJolt wrote:Show nested quote +On June 23 2011 19:44 SirJolt wrote:Still kind of curious to see just how long it will be before someone accuses me of plagiarism  At last, all is right with the world. ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/m2N7x.png) I feel as though there was an imbalance in my heart.
Rofl
great work by the way;)
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voice interpretation would definetly be awsome, perhaps done by some famous player(s).
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On June 25 2011 01:46 Nifarious wrote: Cute, but as someone who actually knows this stuff, it's pretty hard to read...as in bad. Poe btw was in no way a fop, and your meter is off in parts. Good points and I agree with you. But I can still be happy with it even if he knows nothing about Poe and it's rough in parts. It's still great as an sc related parody.
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What is this?
I understand the words, but not the sense. Nonetheless, I like it somehow. Very strange.
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THIS IS AMAZING!
I read it aloud with slowly increasing pace to add in the proper emphasis and, let me tell you, this is sheer brilliance! The overall flow was barely disturbed by your modifications!
Good show, sir!
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Perfect for English class, I could look like I was working while on TeamLiquid
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Excellent!
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my favourite poem ... as much as i would like to praise your work... hope you can understand my sentiment :0
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On June 24 2011 22:48 Johnzee wrote: You sir, are winner.
You have received: 1 internets
hahaha
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On June 24 2011 09:05 Pl4t0 wrote: Get TotalBiscuit to recite this on Youtube!
I second this.
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On June 23 2011 05:37 SonuvBob wrote: There is something seriously wrong with you, but in a good way. Don't ever change.
bwahahahahahahahaha.
Yes, I'm going to agree with this, and I think I'm going to send this to my old english teacher.
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Very nice read! Good job! =)
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wow this is really good, I am happy, 5/5
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I wish i had your grasp of the english language. That was absolutely amazing.. I love you...
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thank you sir jolt you never diappoint! :D
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On June 27 2011 14:46 Shockk wrote:Show nested quote +On June 24 2011 09:05 Pl4t0 wrote: Get TotalBiscuit to recite this on Youtube! I second this.
Although I love TotalBiscuit's voice, I just have James Earl Jones in mind since he recited The Raven so well. Sure he doesn't know anything about Starcraft (I assume), but his recitation would make this even more enjoyable.
That was a very entertaining read though.
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Better than the original XD
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Holy Check! I tip my hat to you sir.
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Reading it aloud was really fun! Thank you.
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i wish i understood poetry better, it flowed nicely though, and what i did comprehend was pure gold. really cool. tyty
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CO CO CO COMBO BREAKER!!!10/10 points man good job!
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Technically, this entire pose is a Raven joke, but who's keeping score, right?
On Topic: Well done. I chuckled a bit but found some of it to not make sense. Like in the original Raven poem, it's a poem about a guy brooding deeply about the loss (probably by death) of a loved on of his (namely the lovely Lenore). This man is disturbed, depressed, and rather lonely yet intelligent and relatively well off (judging by the texts of "forgotten lore" and "velvet" (a rather costly material at the time) within his house in addition to the many-times mentioned fact that the bird is sitting atop the bust of "Pallas" [Athena] - Greek goddess of wisdom). So, in order to do a good parody (which this one began but then got lost I think), we'd have to ask some rather silly questions: what would a probe want? What would a probe be grieving over? Is there anything that would make a probe lament? What would at first seem like a cute distraction but then possibly turn into an omen of evil for a probe? Near the end of The Raven, the speaker of the poem begins to ask the eponymous creature "is Lenore in heaven?" and "will I ever 'see' her again?" to which the raven replies "hell no." And also, the raven says that it will always haunt the speaker of the poem. Creepy.
Also, I just realized the pointlessness of trying to make a 1 for 1 parody of this poem, but I loved the alliteration you used at the beginning of this piece.
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Two thumbs up! Would love to see more people express their creativity and talents as you have so convincingly done :-).
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This should of promoted you to NA Grandmasters League in the SC2 Blogosphere. I'm in impressed by your endurance to rewrite the ENTIRE poem, goodjob.
You have the greatest blog on TL, keep it up :D
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