EPTShould ex's remain ex's? - Page 2
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
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Havefa1th
United States245 Posts
I just wanted to hear some opinions on whether or not you should try a relationship with an ex. I'm getting a lot of "it depends" and I can understand that, but I figure that if there was a reason why people break up, then it's not going to change. On June 16 2011 03:11 Hawk wrote: Go figure out on your own. Also, clever brag blog! Thanks bro! Except it wasn't really to brag... just a mix of an experience and a question. Guess it got misconstrued. | ||
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
On June 16 2011 03:18 Havefa1th wrote: I'm not confused at my situation at all, like I said, I have no intention to date her again. I just wanted to hear some opinions on whether or not you should try a relationship with an ex. I'm getting a lot of "it depends" and I can understand that, but I figure that if there was a reason why people break up, then it's not going to change. Thanks bro! Except it wasn't really to brag... just a mix of an experience and a question. Guess it got misconstrued. Except if the reason they broke up was because of not relational issues, then why not try again at a later point in time. Here's a generic example/story: It's our last year of high-school, our last year together. My darling, my girl, my love is going onto another stage of education. Moving out from this nest here in New Hampshire, she's off to college. As for me? I've chosen something less ambitious, more comfortable and stable. I love her and support her decision to choose a higher education over our trivial affair and cap of hormonal sexuality, but I can't follow. I can't leave the place I call home over a heart I've nestled in so young. We're both going our separate directions and we both understand that this is not the end, just the start of two triologies. We shed a tear both in good luck, joy that we're getting older, more mature and in fear of what lies ahead. We'll always think of each other and agree to try again when the future becomes more clear, free and intertwining. ______________________________ Should they not try again later on because the reason they broke up might not eventually change? | ||
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Binky1842
United States2599 Posts
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
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SaetZero
United States855 Posts
but otherwise, whatever makes your happy | ||
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n.DieJokes
United States3443 Posts
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jjun212
Canada2208 Posts
a good friend of mine. i mean great friend of mine broke up with girlfriend recently and the last 2 times i asked him to hang out or play basketball before he leaves for med school in the states, hes turned me down because he was chilling with his ex.... apparently they are still friends.. and yet he turns down all other friends' invites to hang out so he can hang out with her.. WTF man. wtf =(... i just wanna chill with my friend before he leaves for 4 years,,, | ||
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Djagulingu
Germany3605 Posts
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TheGiz
Canada708 Posts
The answer is no if they act like they did when they caused the relationship to end. People who break the barriers of physical/emotional separation will always have those barriers down even in times of animosity towards one another. But just because those barriers are down and a relationship can happen again doesn't excuse the other person to act the same as they did before. People who break up need to change in some way when they get back together, or else they're just going to cause the same problems again. | ||
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Tatari
United States1179 Posts
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TheGiz
Canada708 Posts
On June 16 2011 03:43 jjun212 wrote: a good friend of mine. i mean great friend of mine broke up with girlfriend recently and the last 2 times i asked him to hang out or play basketball before he leaves for med school in the states, hes turned me down because he was chilling with his ex.... apparently they are still friends.. and yet he turns down all other friends' invites to hang out so he can hang out with her.. WTF man. wtf =(... i just wanna chill with my friend before he leaves for 4 years,,, He's CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGED. Sorry that's a little in-joke my friends and I have. Whenever one of them doesn't want to hang out with us we spout the aforementioned phrase, in unison, usually in their direction or with phone calls/text messages. Women can not and should not ever break up the social dynamic between a group of friends. They're not worth it. They can partake, but they should always be aware that it's the male's group of friends. | ||
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LonelyIslands
Canada590 Posts
On June 16 2011 04:25 TheGiz wrote: The better question is CAN exes remain exes? The answer is no if they act like they did when they caused the relationship to end. People who break the barriers of physical/emotional separation will always have those barriers down even in times of animosity towards one another. But just because those barriers are down and a relationship can happen again doesn't excuse the other person to act the same as they did before. People who break up need to change in some way when they get back together, or else they're just going to cause the same problems again. I disagree with this. I was with a girl for 6 years, we were engaged and the months were ticking away until we were going to be getting married. You see, we graduated high school together and moved to a strange city where all we had was each other. We were very quite couple, didnt make a whole lot of new friends. When I started at the academy, it was the first time I got out on my own, the first time I lived on my own. I would travel back on weekends but during the week I was away. I was a changed person, I never had that freedom on my own before, I never was free to just live. I realized that this was not what I wanted, I tried to explain things to her but she couldnt understand, not that I blame her, I might not be able to understand either. So I posed the question, should we really be together if one of us is going to be unhappy. Things ended, I tried to be as nice as I could. In the end I wished her luck with her life, with her career and assured her that she would be fine and find someone who would treat her a lot better. I got stuck with bills that I was told would be taken care of, I was harassed constantly by her friends and now, two years later, after seeing my future wife (next month) and I's picture in the celebrations section of the news paper, she messaged her trying to cause a whole lot of shit. You see, whatever emotional barriers that were down when we were together, whatever ones remained down when we broke up at first because I knew I was the one hurting her, were promptly and rebuilt and reinforced. I went from forgetting it, leaving at telling her to have a good life and wishing her luck to hatred. I would never try to cause so much shit in someone else life and I don't expect them to do that to me. So, those barriers are no longer down, and that generalized statement is false. | ||
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konadora
Singapore66363 Posts
On June 16 2011 03:02 flowSthead wrote: No. Exes should always date again. Always. Clearly they are only exes because they were younger and stupider. All you need is some ridiculous circumstance, like a high school or college reunion, to remind you what you were missing. You should also consider dancing for no reason while a current pop song plays in the background. Perhaps a cute talking animal will bring you together. All of those are viable strategies to getting back together, but I think it will work best if you are an assassin that has a newfound appreciation for life and/or are in love. Good luck. why does this sound very close to 100% of what happened to me lol | ||
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Mastermind
Canada7096 Posts
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Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
On June 16 2011 03:18 Havefa1th wrote: I just wanted to hear some opinions on whether or not you should try a relationship with an ex. I'm getting a lot of "it depends" and I can understand that, but I figure that if there was a reason why people break up, then it's not going to change. Since you put it that way, my answer has changed. Like Torte's reply - a breakup could have been induced by a large lifestyle change (like moving away to college, moving from college to real world, etc). Distance doesn't necessarily mean a relationship will fail, but there's not much closure. One could move on and if your paths cross again maybe it would work out. In these situations I believe ex's can resume their title. There's one more scenario, but I haven't experienced this personally. From time to time I'll think "what if one of my ex's shows up at my door and wants to get back together"? Or, "what if an ex and I become good friends again (I'm not friends with my ex's) and feelings come back"? The only time I'd ever consider dating that person again is if they're a different person. In hindsight, I can see many reasons why my relationships didn't work out (on both ends). What if that changed and they weren't that person anymore? What if the girl who used me as an emotional dumping post learned to cope with her issues, or the girl, who didn't have the maturity to deal with a relationship when it got hard, found this over years of new experiences? Part of me believes I would give them another chance. On the other hand, this has never happened to me so I can't say for certain if doing so would be a mistake... I can't think of other scenarios where ex's shouldn't stay a memory. | ||
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