This thread just brought a tear to my eye.

My mom passed away 4 years ago, from a cancer, supposedly hereditary but seems to be skipping a generation AFAIK. I'm 21, 17 when she passed away, she was however in .. I forget what they call it, basically she wasn't going to make it out, so I had a month to get used to it (I had a surgery of my own that went down the hole so I couldn't visit her much) but she died suddenly, she was constantly getting her stomach bloated (colon/intestin cancer) so I've always had this thought in my head that my dad/mom decided to end it early (I doubt I'll ever know).

I personally coped with it by picking up something she enjoyed (I never thought I'd like the CSI/Murder Investigation genre) Though she was always happy, she was never scared of death so she was always positive about it. I've mourned her enough for me, but whenever I go to my gramps, it's really tough.

Also, the generic "remember the good stuff" advice to me was really bad, did more harm than good for me as it would make me miss her even more. If anything I'd recommend just speaking out loud as if you were talking to her to get it out of you.

PS: What I think helped me get through most of it was when my friends did your mama jokes (Ironically, most of them didn't know about my mother's situation so they didn't believe me) and it just took the sadness away from the situation because my mom was that kind of "lulzy" person, she would always tell me to make fun of bad situations instead of being sad about them. (I'm aware this isn't how most people deal with it though)

HomicidaL

United States283 Posts

June 15 2011 03:43 GMT

#23

Keep on fighting man, Im truly sorry for your loss...ill pray for you. Im only 22 years old and I was a complete ass sometimes during my teenage also,your not alone in that. When I was 19 something inside me changed when I was working full time and I realized how much they done for me. Shes up above man, looking down on you and I am sure she is proud of you.

OneStepAbove

United States45 Posts

June 15 2011 11:26 GMT

#24

Keep your head up, and do well for yourself. It will make mom happy.

a176

Canada6688 Posts

June 15 2011 11:36 GMT

#25

perhaps these are the hardest on us gamers, being a predominately male demographic, we are most closest to our mothers, and especially considering the antisocial nature of some of us ... it can be hard, too hard.

Knap4life

Slovenia333 Posts

June 15 2011 11:43 GMT

#26

I lost my mother 5 years ago when i was 16. I know how it feels you think something like this could never happen to you and than it does and the world turns into black and white.I got over it , i am happy once again but that doesn't mean that i don't miss her anymore.Hang in there.

downmaster

Canada116 Posts

June 15 2011 11:46 GMT

#27

I've never had anything like this happen to me, but I hope you all the better. Just remember part of your Mom lives through you. Nobody can ever take that away. Your mother raised you and taught you the values of life throughout the years. She made you who you are. She taught you how to be a human being knowing that whenever her time came you would be ready. If you want to feel more connected with her, try doing something she enjoyed doing. She will always live on through the people she touched.

R.I.P.

Grettin

42381 Posts

June 15 2011 14:10 GMT

#28

hang in there! And sorry to hear all of this.

Rip!

Bereft

United States1007 Posts

June 15 2011 14:28 GMT

#29

stay strong, shockeyy. losing a loved one is one of the most challenging things a person has to face in their lifetime. the fact that you're even able to speak to us about it shows a strength in itself. not everyone can talk about the areas in which we are vulnerable; not everyone can be so honest about things so close to heart. try not to focus on your regrets or what you wish you could've done... that will not change anything and will only make you unhappy about things that are irrelevant at this point, and for all you know, in the spirit of unconditional love, your mother gladly endured the tribulations you put her through.

adwodon

United Kingdom592 Posts

June 15 2011 16:01 GMT

#30

Sounds like you're quite young and going through an emotionally difficult time of life anyway, the situation of her death sounds extremely difficult to deal with. Loss isnt as bad when you know its coming, but a sudden shock can really shake a person, especially someone close to someone so young.

All I can say is dont regret being a dick sometimes to your parents, I can tell you now that no wise parent exects their kids to be angels, if anything its reassuring, you're just trying to be your own person when that happens, and while its a pain to deal with at the time you never look back on those times as pointless or wishing your child were different. I put my parents through hell sometimes but now they look back and have told me that actually I wasnt so bad and the person I am today made it more than worthwhile.
Kids are always a learning experience and you will have taught your mother a lot of great things about life, I guarantee it. Its a shame she couldnt find out more, but life is like that sometimes.

It can be hard to move on but you should try to live as a normal teenager, be strong for you mother and live a good life, sometimes you need to let it all out and thats why having forums like this where you can are a great thing.

My only worry for you is that you become insular, you sound really proud of your mother so I know she'd be proud of you and the best way to show that is to life a good, happy life, and remember the good times you spent with her, being sad is only natural but those times will pass and life will go on as normal eventually.

SmoKim

Denmark10305 Posts

June 15 2011 17:00 GMT

#31

You are a amazing person ShoCkeyy and i am truly glad that i have had the pleasure of talking to you so much. If you ever need to talk (about ANYTHING) you always know where to find me

<3!

ShoCkeyy

7815 Posts

June 15 2011 18:49 GMT

#32

Thanks guys, it's always nice to read stuff like this. Especially from SmoKim<3 Yea, I have always felt like TL is part of me, so I never hesitate to come to TL with my problems.

lIlIlIlIlIlI

Korea (South)3851 Posts

June 15 2011 18:56 GMT

#33

--- Nuked ---

Chesner

Iceland817 Posts

June 15 2011 23:21 GMT

#34

My dad took his own life when I was 11 (I am 22 now), I didn't know about this cause of death until few years ago and I was devastated by it. Still trying to cope with it, I've been so insanely angry with him at times.
Did he not love me? Was I not worth living for? Those are questions I have asked myself hundreds of times.

I came to the conclusion he was very ill, and nowadays I look past what he did and look at the great times we had. He lived in Germany and I used to go to him on the summers for a few weeks, those weeks were the best times of my life. He's the one that sparked my interest in computers and computer games, he was an avid Mac lover (I am not lol) and also he had a Sega and we'd play Sonic for hours to end.

I'm not sure if we were that close, but I'd like to think that we were. Fuck, I miss him so much right now. He'd have loved to play 2v2's with me in SC2 for sure, I just know it.

Anyways, I'm terribly sorry for your loss, I can't quite relate to your loss though, but in a way I can and my advise to you is, just think about all the good times you two had, don't think about the bad stuff, you had an argument? So what, that could have happened at any time of the week. She loved you more than anything, just think about that.