I'm really glad you decided to share this with us ;D!
Actually, I'll see if I can get to it now! That's weird that your childhood was similar to mine (in general). I was very social and active when I was child. I partook in about 7 sports (Gymnastics, Horseback riding, Karate, Swimming, Soccer, Tap, Jazz, Ballet [my parents signed me up to all of these] and then summer camp either in Switzerland or North Carolina (alone) for 4 to 6 weeks (I was living in Jersey at the time).
Actually, the more I read, the more I feel like you are splitting image o_o, I equally had an I.Q of 138 and my siblings suffered from depression (whether I did as well is debatable).
Anyways, I'll keep reading and shut up haha!
but I think religions are overall a good thing because of their fundamental humanistic values
Agreed, I think religions serve as a tool of guidance or teaching of morals/what is right and/or wrong. That is it.
I think this idea you bring up that man can be beautiful is one that cannot go without relating to what man has created in my opinion. While man is physically ugly (in my opinion), it must have a source of beauty, eloquence and finesse to produce what one can only admire, but never reproduce, recreate or imitate gracefully.
As for your views of inner calmness:
(1) Realize that you don't know very much at all; and neither does anybody else.
(2) Try to learn as much as you can as often as you can.
(3) Never hinder another person's enjoyment of life so that you may enjoy life, unless you are simply trying to survive.
(4) Always try to do the thing that is the most good for as many people as possible. Good god is this a hard one to do properly. The key word is "try".
(5) In your heart, forgive anyone that has ever wronged you.
(6) In your heart, apologize to anyone (even animals) that you have ever wronged. If you can, try to express it to them personally (not necessary, but it's nice).
(7) Smile and/or laugh whenever it might be appropriate (which is quite often). But don't do it consciously... do whatever it takes to let it come naturally.
(2) Try to learn as much as you can as often as you can.
(3) Never hinder another person's enjoyment of life so that you may enjoy life, unless you are simply trying to survive.
(4) Always try to do the thing that is the most good for as many people as possible. Good god is this a hard one to do properly. The key word is "try".
(5) In your heart, forgive anyone that has ever wronged you.
(6) In your heart, apologize to anyone (even animals) that you have ever wronged. If you can, try to express it to them personally (not necessary, but it's nice).
(7) Smile and/or laugh whenever it might be appropriate (which is quite often). But don't do it consciously... do whatever it takes to let it come naturally.
I feel that point #2 is odd. Considering that every time you "learned" you'd get further depressed. Why advocate people to thrive to learn then? I'm not disagreeing, but it intrigues me that despite your previous obstacles, you have no regrets or hatred towards aspects that often lead you into a poor emotional state.
#7 is my biggest issue. I'm an easy to target to teasing, ever since I was a child, most people suggest I just laugh, not take it personal or even just ignore it but after so many years of taunting of playful teasing it starts to get under my skin and I've grown weak to any kind of personal antics towards me, even though I know they are purely of good nature.
I think that's another story of another time n__n
I saw Invictus, loved it. Then again, I'll watch anything with Morgan Freeman (even Bucket List)