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[Q] Helping someone through a breakup

Blogs > OMin
Post a Reply
OMin
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States545 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-09 23:58:46
June 09 2011 23:43 GMT
#1
Hello TL

A good friend of mine had a bad breakup recently, and I have been one of the main sources of support for them. I really do not want to go into detail about it for my friend's sake, but I would really appreciate it if people could give me some general advice in helping people through difficult breakups. Thanks a lot.

GoTuNk!
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Chile4591 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-09 23:59:19
June 09 2011 23:58 GMT
#2
booze and/or hit the gym
fatum
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Spain83 Posts
June 10 2011 00:10 GMT
#3
I know this sounds stupid, but I found a nice blog about this.

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up

I hope it helps.
Aim to climb as high as you can dream.
Lysenko
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Iceland2128 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-10 00:18:03
June 10 2011 00:16 GMT
#4
Short version: Your friend is in pain over something you can't control and there's really not much you can do to help. Trying to keep your friend distracted will probably annoy him or her more than it helps. Just make clear to your friend that you're available if they want to talk or want someone to hang out with, and let them make their own choices about how to cope with it.

Edit: The only real way to get over a painful breakup is time.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysenkoism
dabom88
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States3483 Posts
June 10 2011 00:22 GMT
#5
Is your friend a girl or boy? Because you handle both differently.
You should not have to pay to watch the GSL, Proleague, or OSL at a reasonable time. That is not "fine" and it's BS to say otherwise. My sig since 2011. http://www.youtube.com/user/dabom88
Lysenko
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Iceland2128 Posts
June 10 2011 00:25 GMT
#6
On June 10 2011 09:22 dabom88 wrote:
Is your friend a girl or boy? Because you handle both differently.


I'm not sure I agree. At least the comments I made apply equally to both.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysenkoism
OMin
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States545 Posts
June 10 2011 00:27 GMT
#7
On June 10 2011 09:22 dabom88 wrote:
Is your friend a girl or boy? Because you handle both differently.

shes a girl
Versailles
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Canada108 Posts
June 10 2011 00:33 GMT
#8
It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken

It's a book written for females, and it's a bit on the feminine side. I'm a chick so that's why I've read it.

That being said, the advice is solid and applicable to anyone going through a break-up if you look past the superfox bits and the don't go straight for the icecream mantra. I've bought it for male friends of mine, and I highly recommend it.
Servius_Fulvius
Profile Joined August 2009
United States947 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-10 01:22:13
June 10 2011 01:17 GMT
#9
Treat them the way you'd normally treat them - the faster they can move on to normal life the better.

It's going to suck for her for a while (even longer if she was the dumpee); unfortunately there's nothing you can do to make that pain go away. If she needs to talk - listen. Otherwise hang out. Actually, if you could get her out and about she'll tend to focus more on what is going on and brood less. The more active the activity the better! Include more friends if she's comfortable.

As with anyone going through a breakup, I encourage them to break their old routine in more ways than the loss of significant other. Redecorate, get a drastic haircut (long to short, or short to growing it out), pick up a new hobby just for fun, etc. I also recommend boxing up the presents and things special to the relationship. She can get rid of it if she wants, but it's more of an "out of sight out of mind" exercise - it's better if she gives the box to someone and they can give it back when they feel she is ready. She should also limit contact with the person as much as possible, but I guess it's all up to her.

You're a good friend - keep it up! Lysenko was right - no matter what you do, time will ultimately bring the peace she's looking for!

Edit: There's a "How I Met Your Mother" episode (Season 2, Episode 1) that handles the ups and downs of a breakup pretty well (concluding with the time remarks - still, if you've got nothing better to do...)
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