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About Me

Blogs > Roffles
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Roffles *
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Pitcairn19291 Posts
June 05 2011 23:44 GMT
#1
I'm a pussy. I dodge everything. I'm shameless because I watch lame stuff such as Golf. I also need to grow a pair.

What I really need to do is to just grow a pair, break into her house with a ski mask on, and ask. If she says no, I need to threaten them.

Or I could just maul her, take her clothes off, eat her food, and watch porn on her computer. That always works too.

But at the end of the day. I need to stop dodging, and grow a pair.

****
God Bless
Binky1842
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
United States2599 Posts
June 05 2011 23:45 GMT
#2
you are what you eat
"The zoo could not confirm that Binky was the attacker, but only Binky had blood on his face following the incident"
Kamille
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Monaco1035 Posts
June 05 2011 23:45 GMT
#3
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=217433#13
Priphea
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4005 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-05 23:48:19
June 05 2011 23:46 GMT
#4
This is a phenomenal combination of an informative "who is Roffles" blog post, with elements of "girl blog" folded into it.

It's aged well in the cask though, and if you really swish it around in your mouth you can get a mild flavour of "self loathing" that really just blossoms on the tongue.

A fine vintage, the rains of spring have made it rich and thick: five stars.
Moderator@SirJolt
D10
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Brazil3409 Posts
June 05 2011 23:46 GMT
#5
What can I say, the matting habits of homo sapiens are pretty primitive.

Try using some feathers and doing the mating dance.
" We are not humans having spiritual experiences. - We are spirits having human experiences." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Kyuukyuu
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada6263 Posts
June 05 2011 23:47 GMT
#6
golf? no wonder
sur_reaL
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada278 Posts
June 06 2011 00:01 GMT
#7
On June 06 2011 08:45 Kamille wrote:
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=217433#13


nice try.
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=217433&currentpage=3#52
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH3hrtp1T84
Z3kk
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
4099 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-06 00:04:24
June 06 2011 00:04 GMT
#8
Just do it!
Failure is not falling down over and over again. Failure is refusing to get back up.
jlim
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Spain943 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-06 00:31:40
June 06 2011 00:27 GMT
#9
roffles fighting

now i know nothing about your case but there's a universal fact i believe in:

girls don't deserve that you are scared; in fact, if you're scared, it is probably because you think you're not worth her thus not being able to keep up on her needs/expectations, which is totally reasonable because when you like someone, you use to magnify every single aspect of her. But guess what, unless you're the most worthless dipshit the world has ever known or she's a reincarnation of a goddess of beauty, wisedom and evil, you're probably as worthy as her (if not more). You should think of that and let your fears go away. And then it all comes to compatibility, aka she likes you back or will ever like you, which you can't really control unless she's a dumb puppet bitch, in which case she's not worth shit. So yeah you lose nothing to ask. Now, shyness is what it is, and it can only be overcome up to some extent, but if you want to get somewhere in life you gotta step it up from time to time; it's not like you have to become Jack Bauer and hero save the world. Look at Milkis, he's translating the korean sc2 players at mlg in front of all that people like a boss, yet it's not like we all have to worship him from now on; he's just standing up like a man.

tl;dr: pussying out is irrational and counterproductive, so act intelligently and ask her out, and if you're made for eachother you'll end up together one way or another, if not, life goes on. timidity is imba but you can overcome it with willpower.

lol i took this so seriously i wrote using capital letters and shit

btw the op phrasing was beautiful, cryptic and touchy yet direct and crude, free of irrelevant and obvious rubbish like most girl blogs do have
Necosarius
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
Sweden4042 Posts
June 06 2011 00:39 GMT
#10
GL in growing a pair. I'm working on it as well!
naonao
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States847 Posts
June 06 2011 00:40 GMT
#11
I see your taking our advice.
Nytefish
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United Kingdom4282 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-06 00:41:12
June 06 2011 00:40 GMT
#12
Can't believe you put my advice on there.
+ Show Spoiler +
without paying me royalties
No I'm never serious.
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21244 Posts
June 06 2011 00:41 GMT
#13
Dance.
TranslatorBaa!
Lexpar
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
1813 Posts
June 06 2011 00:43 GMT
#14
Are you for real man? Maybe this is an in joke I don't get :x

Golf is a very manly sport.
edc
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States666 Posts
June 06 2011 00:44 GMT
#15
What's the point of asking her if you don't have a pair?
“There are two kinds of people in this world, those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.” - Clint Eastwood
MorningMusume11
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3490 Posts
June 06 2011 00:46 GMT
#16
+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6g9NTeWwAk


jlim
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Spain943 Posts
June 06 2011 00:54 GMT
#17
On June 06 2011 09:46 MorningMusume11 wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6g9NTeWwAk



lulz

+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak-b-hT7Mn4


kpop male fans are such potential pussies
supernovamaniac
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States3047 Posts
June 06 2011 01:01 GMT
#18
On June 06 2011 09:46 MorningMusume11 wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6g9NTeWwAk



Roffles needs to grow a pair to dance
ppp
De4ngus
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States6533 Posts
June 06 2011 01:02 GMT
#19
Someone told me tomatoes are good for ur balls. I think theyre really nasty tho.
GANDHISAUCE
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
June 06 2011 01:30 GMT
#20
I've heard that in some rare cases, you already have a pair but they're trapped somewhere up in your man ovaries. By rhythmically moving or shaking your torso you can, miraculously, dislodge them like you would apples from a tree
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
Megaman703
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
Canada688 Posts
June 06 2011 01:36 GMT
#21
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take

-Wayne Gretzky"
-Michael Scott
Smix *
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States4549 Posts
June 06 2011 03:20 GMT
#22
I don't get this blog, but that's okay.

You missed the part where you are also Ngreez.
TranslatorBe an Optimist Prime, Not a Negatron // twitter @smixity
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
June 06 2011 03:23 GMT
#23
Start a conversation by showing her a game of touhou.
6581
Tippany
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States765 Posts
June 06 2011 06:29 GMT
#24
On June 06 2011 10:36 Megaman703 wrote:
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take

-Wayne Gretzky"
-Michael Scott

As true as this is, sometimes the pain of rejection is so heavy I wish I had done nothing and wondered "what if".
Real action, my dream.
Megaliskuu
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5123 Posts
June 06 2011 06:32 GMT
#25
5/5 would 5/5 again.
|BW>Everything|Add me on star2 KR server TheMuTaL.675 for practice games :)|NEX clan| https://www.dotabuff.com/players/183104694
Zim23
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1681 Posts
June 06 2011 06:35 GMT
#26
You: Hey girl, you hear about Pluto?
Girl: Yeah, that it's not a planet anymore.
You: That's messed up right?

If she hasn't heard what happened to Pluto then immediately abort mission.
Do an arranged marriage if she's not completely minging, and don't worry about dancing, get a go-kart, cheers.
De4ngus
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States6533 Posts
June 06 2011 08:51 GMT
#27
On June 06 2011 15:35 Zim23 wrote:
You: Hey girl, you hear about Pluto?
Girl: Yeah, that it's not a planet anymore.
You: That's messed up right?

If she hasn't heard what happened to Pluto then immediately abort mission.

or else u might get in trouble?

uh oh rufflez
GANDHISAUCE
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
June 06 2011 12:15 GMT
#28
Dude Nitty's advice was supposed to be top secret mission lol.
and DUDE U HAVE LIKE 2 DAYS NOW I don't care if you grow a pair or not, go tell her how you feel. Preferably in a TL shirt just to demonstrate how awesome you are in case she doesn't know yet.

Scenario 1: you QQ on the interwebs like right now and end up being depressed the entire summer
Scenario 2: continuation of above except you fuck it up by confessing it over the internet (always a BAD idea) sometime during the summer break. guaranteed 99.99% FAIL
Scenario 3: you confess right now like a true TLer and she says *^_^* omg omg omg I WAS FEELING THE SAME WAY
Scenario 4: you confess right now and she says no. awww =(

Yeah ok scenario 4 isn't as good as scenario 3 BUT scenario 3-4 is better than scenario 1-2. See?
[TLMS] REBOOT
obesechicken13
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10467 Posts
June 06 2011 13:30 GMT
#29
Booo, I'd 1/5 you for being a pussy but I'm too lazy to go back to page 1.
I think in our modern age technology has evolved to become more addictive. The things that don't give us pleasure aren't used as much. Work was never meant to be fun, but doing it makes us happier in the long run.
3FFA
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States3931 Posts
June 06 2011 22:21 GMT
#30
Gave 2
1star for doing it and..
2 star for just being your awesome self.
"As long as it comes from a pure place and from a honest place, you know, you can write whatever you want."
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