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First blog ever, written after 20~ hours of no sleep and while feeling a bout of depression, so make of it what you will.
There will be no tl;dr, so go away now if you're gonna bitch about it.
I know girl blogs are cliched, but might as well add my own to the infinite hordes of them.
I'm 17 about to turn 18, she was 15, now 16.
First off, I am an emotional person naturally, though I've been extremely hardened over the years, due to a MASSIVE string of being hurt and lead on by about 11 girls in a row over the course of 5 years or so, each one going further before dropping me.
About a year ago, I met this girl at a party, started talking to her because she was cute, I had been acquaintances with her for a couple years, but this was the first time we'd ever really talked. We HIT IT OFF HARD, within 3 days we were best friends and I was falling in love, one of the worst mistakes of my life thus far.
We were so similar it was like we were built for each other, we began referring to ourselves as twins as a joke. Our big thing was texting, we were in contact through texts 24/7 when we were both awake and free. About a month in, there was a little encounter in my car when I drove her home one night, nothing happened, but we wound up in the back seat with her head on my lap and almost kissed, but I prevented us, cause it didn't feel 'right'. (nothing for some of you, I know, but I'm still young and inexperienced as was she, supposedly) Later, after the usual joking about and randomly discussing dating(which was responded to favorably, I might add), I asked her if she would date me, she replied with a no, and dodged questions as to why, stating reasons like you're like a brother, and it could ruin our friendship. Though this started some other things, which led to getting I love yous from her, which, from her, was huge.
About 3 months in, she came to me and confessed that she had someone she was "saving her feelings for". Essentially, she was dating him until shortly before we met, and he broke up with her temporarily because she was "too innocent and he felt guilty". I disagreed with her about them being seperate but didn't say anything, he would still come over, and they'd liplock for hours, and she even blew him twice, during this "not BF" stage. I did NOT take well to this, as you can imagine. It took a week or so before we could talk civilly again, but we recovered, as friends do. Eventually they got "back together" again.
HUGE EDIT: The above sexual events happened during the joking about dating and the implications of dating, before being rejected.
For the last ~6 months of the friendship, I felt more and more used, and we got more and more strained, we talked almost every night still, but the conversations got shorter and less loveydovey, and the texts slowed down massively. Near the end, about the last month, I began to wonder if she even cared about me anymore, even though I still had feelings for her. It got to the point where she would bring her boyfriend out to the car with her when I picked her up from school to hang out and make me drive him home first. She knew I still loved her, so this pissed me off.
When we would hang out, we used to sit on the bed or couch and talk or watch movies and play games and things, it got to where I would sit on her bed silently and she would get on facebook for hours without talking, and reject any advances made towards interaction, then blame me for us not interacting if i complained.
One thing that strikes me is the day i told her I had met another girl, which she had always encouraged. Wasn't so encouraging when it happened to be her ex-best friend. They quit talking due to unfortunate circumstances causing them to move apart and be unable to communicate for a while, she tried extremely hard to get her friend back, but the interest wasn't returned. I met her best friend when we were on a demo team for our taekwondo schools shared tournament together, and we hit it off, but it has since fizzled into a distant friendship, she'll talk to me if I approach her, but she won't approach me usually.
I remember our last day crystal clear, 3/19/2011.
The day went fine, it was almost like old times, we talked, watched movies, everything was fine, i went home at the normal time, stayed up till 5 am on the xbox, and slept till 3pm when she called me to tell me we were done, because it was too stressful for her to have to be friends with me and she couldn't handle school and me at the same time. I acted all like it wasn't going to hurt me badly on the phone, but I cried for hours, and was severely depressed until a couple weeks ago.
It's the first time I ever got broken up with, all the others kinda fizzled out and never went anywhere, this one was murdered suddenly and it hurt like hell.
I still kinda keep an eye on her, she removed me on facebook, but she didn't remove my best friend and i have access to his account, unknown to the both of them <.<
I'm very protective of her to this day, if anyone were to hurt her in any way that matters, I would kill them, no doubt in my mind.
Don't know why i posted this, don't really need advice, unless you know how to magically get my friend back, I don't even care about dating anymore, there's no room in my heart for her anymore.
I just want the best friend I ever had back. :'(
 
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Not much you can do honestly, aside of sitting out and be yourself. The main question is (I sadly am too tired to fully grasp each part) if you are interested in more than just friendship. If so, just be carefull hold on and don't press it too hard. If she's busy with school then give her that space untill she's ready.
Can't say I got more to tell here atm sadly 
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I don't care about dating anymore, I just want my friend back.
She was almost hostile in the end, so I don't know what'll happen, I've heard nothing in the 1 and a half months since then.
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I fucking hate girls.
First blog ever, written after 20~ hours of no sleep and while feeling a bout of depression, so make of it what you will.
I guess this foolish statement is because of your lack of sleep, but it's alright.
I've read everything, and I suggest moving on. There are lots of girls out there. 
No person is irreplaceable.
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Nah, I hate girls, love vaginas and breasts, hate girls, stupid irrational creatures they are. ;P
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It sounds like the relationship wasn't doing you much good .
You can get her back as a friend, but you'll probably want to wait a while longer before you make an attempt to contact her. Try now and you'll just set yourself up for more pain and rejection.
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Oh wow she blew the guy twice I wouldn't even have recovered for that man.
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You cried over losing a best friend? You do realise the standard secondary school > university transition (in the UK at least, I guess it's high school > college transition in the US) forces you to lose your "best friends." If you need to get yourself back on the 'horse' so to speak, might I just suggest a manly cure?
1) Go to this website: http://truelad.com
2) Read posts made there about Laddish banter in the United Kingdom
3) Laugh at how misogynist the posters are, and posting requirements "are".
4) Look at the photo section
5) Again, laugh.
6) Take a dose of "man-up" pills (specifically linked to this image: http://truelad.com/Photo/124903)
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Its just some bitch who led you on and didnt know what she wants, you said she was 16 that pretty much sums it up.
I mean she probably doesnt know what she wants or even that shes alive considering shes so young, so she sees the nearest thing that will talk to her and latches onto it till something more entertaining comes along.
It happens to all of us man, you just gotta move on and not give a fuck.
Yes, i know she was your "best friend" but god damn, you should have been more subtle about shit if you were going that way, i mean fuck make stupid ass dating jokes and shit like that find out who she likes etc etc before you move onto I WANT YOU SO MUCH COME WITH ME NOW.
Also; who gives a fuck if she sucked some other guy off and they kissed for hours? You know how many girls you're going to find who havent done that shit? Not many(unless they're Asian or something maybe..) Need to stop treating that like its a big deal even if she was your best friend.
tldr; move the fuck on and forget about her cause shes immature emotionally.
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On June 03 2011 19:43 Daffyd wrote:You cried over losing a best friend? You do realise the standard secondary school > university transition (in the UK at least, I guess it's high school > college transition in the US) forces you to lose your "best friends." If you need to get yourself back on the 'horse' so to speak, might I just suggest a manly cure? 1) Go to this website: http://truelad.com2) Read posts made there about Laddish banter in the United Kingdom 3) Laugh at how misogynist the posters are, and posting requirements "are". 4) Look at the photo section 5) Again, laugh. 6) Take a dose of "man-up" pills (specifically linked to this image: http://truelad.com/Photo/124903)
Doesn't "force", by any means, I still have friends that left for colleges seperate from mine. Actually chatting with one on FB right now.
And I know it doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but for it being the first time, it hurts like hell.
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On June 03 2011 19:48 King of Blades wrote:Show nested quote +On June 03 2011 19:43 Daffyd wrote:You cried over losing a best friend? You do realise the standard secondary school > university transition (in the UK at least, I guess it's high school > college transition in the US) forces you to lose your "best friends." If you need to get yourself back on the 'horse' so to speak, might I just suggest a manly cure? 1) Go to this website: http://truelad.com2) Read posts made there about Laddish banter in the United Kingdom 3) Laugh at how misogynist the posters are, and posting requirements "are". 4) Look at the photo section 5) Again, laugh. 6) Take a dose of "man-up" pills (specifically linked to this image: http://truelad.com/Photo/124903) Doesn't "force", by any means, I still have friends that left for colleges seperate from mine. Actually chatting with one on FB right now. And I know it doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but for it being the first time, it hurts like hell.
Did you visit the website? You can thank me after you've had a lot of laughs from it ... I'm telling you, it's the best thing the UK has to offer - the banter is wonderful.
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On June 03 2011 19:47 arb wrote:
Its just some bitch who led you on and didnt know what she wants, you said she was 16 that pretty much sums it up.
I mean she probably doesnt know what she wants or even that shes alive considering shes so young, so she sees the nearest thing that will talk to her and latches onto it till something more entertaining comes along.
It happens to all of us man, you just gotta move on and not give a fuck.
Yes, i know she was your "best friend" but god damn, you should have been more subtle about shit if you were going that way, i mean fuck make stupid ass dating jokes and shit like that find out who she likes etc etc before you move onto I WANT YOU SO MUCH COME WITH ME NOW.
Also; who gives a fuck if she sucked some other guy off and they kissed for hours? You know how many girls you're going to find who havent done that shit? Not many(unless they're Asian or something maybe..) Need to stop treating that like its a big deal even if she was your best friend.
tldr; move the fuck on and forget about her cause shes immature emotionally.
Do not assume you know all the circumstances. She is extremely intelligent and knows very well what she wants.
I did joke and wander the circumference of the idea of dating to see her thoughts on it before I said anything, they all met with acceptance and she was pleased with the idea(not the best way to say it, but I can't think of anything better).
And you missed the part were she was supposedly single and leading me on during the sucking and kissing.
I may have put the order wrong in the OP, i'll check, but the sexual stuff was happening alongside the heavily implying she would date me, before the rejection.
You may not have a heart, but I do.
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On June 03 2011 19:53 Daffyd wrote:Show nested quote +On June 03 2011 19:48 King of Blades wrote:On June 03 2011 19:43 Daffyd wrote:You cried over losing a best friend? You do realise the standard secondary school > university transition (in the UK at least, I guess it's high school > college transition in the US) forces you to lose your "best friends." If you need to get yourself back on the 'horse' so to speak, might I just suggest a manly cure? 1) Go to this website: http://truelad.com2) Read posts made there about Laddish banter in the United Kingdom 3) Laugh at how misogynist the posters are, and posting requirements "are". 4) Look at the photo section 5) Again, laugh. 6) Take a dose of "man-up" pills (specifically linked to this image: http://truelad.com/Photo/124903) Doesn't "force", by any means, I still have friends that left for colleges seperate from mine. Actually chatting with one on FB right now. And I know it doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but for it being the first time, it hurts like hell. Did you visit the website? You can thank me after you've had a lot of laughs from it ... I'm telling you, it's the best thing the UK has to offer - the banter is wonderful.
Yeah, I visited it, it's rather amusing, I will admit that 
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On June 03 2011 19:54 King of Blades wrote:
Do not assume you know all the circumstances. She is extremely intelligent and knows very well what she wants.
I did joke and wander the circumference of the idea of dating to see her thoughts on it before I said anything, they all met with acceptance and she was pleased with the idea(not the best way to say it, but I can't think of anything better).
And you missed the part were she was supposedly single and leading me on during the sucking and kissing.
I may have put the order wrong in the OP, i'll check, but the sexual stuff was happening alongside the heavily implying she would date me, before the rejection.
You may not have a heart, but I do.
Yeah she knew what she wanted, and what she wanted was double penistration.
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On June 03 2011 19:54 King of Blades wrote:Show nested quote +On June 03 2011 19:47 arb wrote:
Its just some bitch who led you on and didnt know what she wants, you said she was 16 that pretty much sums it up.
I mean she probably doesnt know what she wants or even that shes alive considering shes so young, so she sees the nearest thing that will talk to her and latches onto it till something more entertaining comes along.
It happens to all of us man, you just gotta move on and not give a fuck.
Yes, i know she was your "best friend" but god damn, you should have been more subtle about shit if you were going that way, i mean fuck make stupid ass dating jokes and shit like that find out who she likes etc etc before you move onto I WANT YOU SO MUCH COME WITH ME NOW.
Also; who gives a fuck if she sucked some other guy off and they kissed for hours? You know how many girls you're going to find who havent done that shit? Not many(unless they're Asian or something maybe..) Need to stop treating that like its a big deal even if she was your best friend.
tldr; move the fuck on and forget about her cause shes immature emotionally. Do not assume you know all the circumstances. She is extremely intelligent and knows very well what she wants. I did joke and wander the circumference of the idea of dating to see her thoughts on it before I said anything, they all met with acceptance and she was pleased with the idea(not the best way to say it, but I can't think of anything better). And you missed the part were she was supposedly single and leading me on during the sucking and kissing. I may have put the order wrong in the OP, i'll check, but the sexual stuff was happening alongside the heavily implying she would date me, before the rejection. You may not have a heart, but I do.
I disagree, if she knew what she wanted she wouldn't have been talking to you about whatever, then at the same time messing around with some other guy.
She seems to suffer from the, Fuck with one guy then actually want another guy syndrome that so many females tend to have today.
IMO.
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I was the guy that she found right after a breakup, and latched onto, then realized she couldn't keep both, and didn't know what to do at first.
Then we argued, and she chose.
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wait. why do you care, you and her were not even 'together' or dating out
you were like 20000000x miles into the friendzone, and you didnt seize the oppurtunity.
and you still put up with her, after she blew some next man, TWICE.
Take the earlier advice and go on truelad, it might stiffen your spine.
Seriously tho, you sound like a really nice guy, and we all know overly nice pushover doormat, friend zone guys get nowhere.
She used you for your emotional support, next time you feel like talking to her, imagine her lips wrapped round the next guys cock.
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On June 03 2011 20:12 Rozza wrote:
wait. why do you care, you and her were not even 'together' or dating out
you were like 20000000x miles into the friendzone, and you didnt seize the oppurtunity.
and you still put up with her, after she blew some next man, TWICE.
Take the earlier advice and go on truelad, it might stiffen your spine.
Seriously tho, you sound like a really nice guy, and we all know overly nice pushover doormat, friend zone guys get nowhere.
She used you for your emotional support, next time you feel like talking to her, imagine her lips wrapped round the next guys cock.
Don't want her as a girlfriend anymore, already after the next one, I want her back as the legitimate best friend that she was, not the potential GF she pretended to be.
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EPT
