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Yea. I've got huge balls. What about 'em?

Blogs > serge
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
serge
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Russian Federation142 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-05-05 18:27:15
May 05 2011 17:45 GMT
#1
Bio:

Hi TL! My name is Sergey, I'm a Massachusetts Terran and I go by the alias of HelenKiller on bnet. You can add me as helenkiller.360 I've been playing StarCraft since early broodwar, but I've never had the patience to practice and get noticed in that game.

The first thing you need to know about me is that I'm not a huge fan of videogames, much less the newer ones. Most of my time is split equally down the middle between drinking and studying my ass off, or working @my coop engineering job. Relativistic microseconds gained from such a boring lifestyle are spent on mech-enabled laddering.

The only video-games I've played for more than 5 minutes are Natural Selection, Quake Live, XCOM: UFO DEFENSE, Jagged Alliance, TFC and StarCraft. That is an exhaustive list. I've found that all other video-games prioritize either accessibility to the bros, graphics over gameplay; or maybe they're just made for the idiot drooling man-children, the hell spawn of our recent technological progress, and are therefore of no interest to me. Needless to say, I wasn't very excited when SC2 was first announced. I was actually in the process of quitting games altogether; since the only enjoyment I got out of them was reducing public server populations to 0 by just utterly raping everyone with good aim, bug abuse and map control. Sorry entertainment industry, our honeymoon is over.

[image loading]
Honeymoon being ended.

Why does your country say Russian Federation?
I moved to the states when I was 10. Lived in New York for 7 years, now I'm in Massachusetts, driving my cah and watching the red sax. You know what? Fuck the Red Sox. Fuck them and their tuner sandwitches. Fuck their cosine taters. Go Yankees!! Fucking New York man. Fucking New York is where it's all at... except for the high tech jobs. Oh well, Boston is still better than Wannafuckit or Hell, Mexico or something.

Yes, but why Russian federation?
Labeling yourself as Russian is a strategic advantage. Why? Well what are the two things Russians are good at? Russians are good at mathematics and fucking shit up. The latter is a pretty big advantage. For example, if you ever go to Europe as an American tourist, you need to be prepared to be conned out of every last penny you have. If you're Russian, all you will see is fear. Russians have a pretty solid reputation of massively fucking shit up. But hey, you only live once, so why not? Women have also learned to expect rough sex from us. That is a huge plus. There is no bigger turn on than having a chick's tits pressed against the 8th story dorm window, ass blood red and hair in hand. Russians are the barbarians of the 21st century.

I'm also a fan of a2kat.

i'm ready
go:


It all started when one of my good old Natural Selection server-clearing buddies got his hands on StarCraft 2 in the very first wave of beta invites thanks to his old WoW subscription, or was it WC3? I don't really understand the difference. Anyway. The thing is, this guy wasn't really interested in SC2 at all and only played about 5 ladder games before calling it quits. He was nice enough to share his account details with me on the first day of the public beta. In a fit of good-old compstomp/bgh backstabbing nostalgia, I decided to seize the opportunity to ruin the innocence of some horrible players in 1v1 ladder by stretching the anus of viable starcraft strategy. What I found pleasantly surprised me.

In the beginning, there was the 2rax + all scv allin tvp. It had no counter. There was the pure bio style TvZ and biotank composition that still exists today. TvT was all about dropping your opponent with bio until they folded. It was all shit and boring. Just like every C&C game ever made. Here is some comedy.

Why was this pleasantly surprising? Well folks, there was a little-known unit in the game that happened to make this game quite fun. That unit was the raven. I can't explain how awesome it was, but let me show you instead: Replay. Raven was the reason I played that game. That game I link here is the first ladder game I've played. It is THE first LADDER game I've PLAYED. On the first day of beta. That. Raven. I had an orgasm at the victory screen.

[image loading]
The other fun unit, sadly it only works against bad players.

Of course I tried massing ravens against protoss, but they were easily countered by HT. After the marine build time nerf, TvP was all banshees for me, it worked really well back when I didn't know what I was doing. It was fairly difficult to get ravens out in TvZ, but not impossible. I found a cooler alternative. It wasn't quite as fun as mass ravens, but it was my strategy. My baby. It was perfect. TvZ slowly evolved to become the 11barrack reaper into thor marauder hellion hellpush that extinguished all zergs on the ladder for me. TvT became the battle of the tank vikings into mass bcs ravens and vikings. But most games usually ended at the 2 base stage, so really little potential for ravens there. And so without ravens, the game went downhill.

This game was obviously different from the original starcraft. It never really occured to me to seriously try to use tanks outside of TvT until release. I was having so much success with using pure bio compositions and felt that the lack of mobility of mech was a serious buzzkill compared to the 1a armies of every race. So mech, the one thing that made sc1 fun, was nonexistent in sc2 for me, even though some players had success using ghost tank in the tvp matchup. I slowly lost interest in this game because of all of the 1a that occured in this game. It was worse than playing C&C. I stopped playing altogether in the summer.

Terran


[image loading]
Mandatory screenshots of Medivac Alamo for history majors.

Then release rolled around. I bought the game on the second day of release and instantly placed into the prestegious medivac alamo. The first diamond division created. I proceeded to roll bads, including some of the big names like kawaiirice (I seriously think that I am the reason why he switched from Z to T) and gretorp. Here are the replays if anyone is interested:

https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0B5-aJqzMaPBKNjlkM2VmYTQtMTQ2ZS00MDY1LWE1MDgtNWQ5ZDM0OTU2MmM2&sort=name&layout=list&num=50

https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0B5-aJqzMaPBKYzhkYTNjOTUtODM3NS00OTE4LThhMmEtZGY3MzFhZGI4N2Ux&sort=name&layout=list&num=50

https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0B5-aJqzMaPBKOGI1YzgyODctYWM1My00OTRlLWE4ZGUtOTMwZTRlM2Q5MTA2&sort=name&layout=list&num=50

After attaining top200 honors multiple times, including top200 on the sc2ranks, not just the inflated blizzard one. But that got old after a while, since I've achieved what I wanted and I had no interest in going further.

[image loading]

There was no new content that brought me back to the game. There was nothing keeping me playing. Even worse, the balance changes kept coming. First, the tanks were gone. Then, in one big swoop, reapers and barracks first openings were gone with them. Then the ravens were nerfed. That was the last straw. I knew that this game was getting worse by the hour, but blizzard removed the only thing I really liked about it because DBro felt that trading resources for energy was not how he wanted his game to be played. Are you fucking shitting me? This was the most fun thing in SC1. When the map ran dry, you had to fire up your pimpest play memories and just fucking rape your opponent with dark archons or ghosts or something cool like that. Man I fucking miss ravens. Man, I fucking hate dbro.

[image loading]
DBRO even put a swastica into SC2. Did I mention that I hate the guy for ruining ravens already?

So now I stand here, with summer just around the corner and I'm willing to give SC2 one more shot. I haven't played at all during the whole school year and I have to figure out terran once again. The only different thing now is that I'm not happy with 1a marauder roach colossus anymore. I want to go back to my BW memories with huge tank lines and OP buildings in the center of the map. I want to play that kind of starcraft2. So this brings me here:

Gundams have huge mechanical balls:

It takes some balls to play terran. Really. It takes some balls to go up against two vastly superior races who start showing their superiority over terran in the late mid game. Protoss has strong macro and the invincible 200/200 army of their choice, and zerg has incredible macro and incredibly strong 200/200 at hive tech. It takes some balls to say that you want to put a box around every last one of your SCVs and amove into your opponent's base every single game. It takes even more balls to play terran in the current map pool where every map is BGH2.0.

But even those two pale in comparison to actually being the terran who goes head to head with the war machine of the other two races at 200 fucking supply, relying on sheer testicular size to disassemble an army that was designed by dbro himself to counter your fucking unit selection that's been nerfed to shit since day1 beta. Why do immortals exist? To counter your fucking units. Why do void rays exist? To counter your fucking units. Why do carriers exist? To counter your fucking units. Why do ultralisks exist? To counter your fucking units. Why do roaches exist? To counter your fucking units. Why do broodlords exist? To counter your fucking units.

Picking terran and trying to play macro is like being the person in the scary movie who goes to investigate the dark corner of the mansion. You're gonna get screwed. But hey, I am going to dismantle the little shits on the ladder. Want to know why? I've been told that tanks cost effective if they can get 4 shots off. That means that I have to find a way for my tanks to get four shots off. How do I do this? Hellions and PFs. I can place PFs while the opponent is occupied with hellions. And build hundreds of turrets around the map with the proceeds from 6mule sponsorship.

*
I am Malkovich.
MiniRoman
Profile Blog Joined September 2003
Canada3953 Posts
May 05 2011 17:58 GMT
#2
fuck russia

that is all

User was warned for this post
Nak Allstar.
serge
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Russian Federation142 Posts
May 05 2011 18:08 GMT
#3
Oh yea? At least people fuck Russia. When's the last time you've heard anything about Canada?
I am Malkovich.
Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18919 Posts
May 05 2011 18:11 GMT
#4
+ Show Spoiler +
Is it just me, or is this a long brag blog ending with a balance complain at the end...

Er, i mean yeah! Good luck with your attempts to Mech up! It might work!

I don't really see what you mean by "every map is BGH 2.0" :| In fact, I just get the feeling you may not understand this game very well.
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
pOlt.
Profile Joined October 2008
Russian Federation42 Posts
May 05 2011 18:12 GMT
#5
MiniRoman
Profile Blog Joined September 2003
Canada3953 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-05-05 18:23:53
May 05 2011 18:21 GMT
#6
On May 06 2011 03:08 serge wrote:
Oh yea? At least people fuck Russia. When's the last time you've heard anything about Canada?


lol. you're a funny guy ;P

btw isn't terran the newb race of sc2?
Nak Allstar.
Rotodyne
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United States2263 Posts
May 05 2011 18:21 GMT
#7
Interesting post to say the least!
I can only play starcraft when I am shit canned. IPXZERG is a god.
serge
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Russian Federation142 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-05-05 18:35:37
May 05 2011 18:25 GMT
#8
On May 06 2011 03:11 Comeh wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
Is it just me, or is this a long brag blog ending with a balance complain at the end...

Er, i mean yeah! Good luck with your attempts to Mech up! It might work!

I don't really see what you mean by "every map is BGH 2.0" :| In fact, I just get the feeling you may not understand this game very well.

Yea that's exactly what it is. Except instead of balance complaint it's actually a gameplay complaint. SC2 is fairly well-balanced, but macro tvx is very difficult. Terran players understand how difficult terran macro is and play terran midgame allins, which are pretty strong.

Let me put it in other words. In the early days of SC2 all maps were like destination. Now all maps are like fighting spirit. I'll admit that BGH is taking things too far.
I am Malkovich.
serge
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Russian Federation142 Posts
May 05 2011 18:29 GMT
#9
On May 06 2011 03:21 MiniRoman wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 06 2011 03:08 serge wrote:
Oh yea? At least people fuck Russia. When's the last time you've heard anything about Canada?


lol. you're a funny guy ;P

btw isn't terran the newb race of sc2?

It's true.

Zerg and Protoss on the other hand are for the hardcore gamers. Hardcore gamers like idra. Do you want to be like idra? Play zerg. You will die alone.
I am Malkovich.
Geovu
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Estonia1344 Posts
May 05 2011 18:39 GMT
#10
Your whole post looks like verbal masturbation rofl.

However I have to disagree with you on your point about ghosts. They pwn everyone 100% of the time no matter how skilled they are, since they are ghosts.
xarthaz
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
1704 Posts
May 05 2011 18:41 GMT
#11


The only video-games I've played for more than 5 minutes are Natural Selection, Quake Live, XCOM: UFO DEFENSE, Jagged Alliance, TFC and StarCraft. That is an exhaustive list. I've found that all other video-games prioritize either accessibility to the bros, graphics over gameplay; or maybe they're just made for the idiot drooling man-children, the hell spawn of our recent technological progress, and are therefore of no interest to me. Needless to say, I wasn't very excited when SC2 was first announced. I was actually in the process of quitting games altogether; since the only enjoyment I got out of them was reducing public server populations to 0 by just utterly raping everyone with good aim, bug abuse and map control. Sorry entertainment industry, our honeymoon is over.
Funny you mention Quake Live and TFC, because those games are SPECIFICALLY versions made to target the casual crowd and have watered down low learning curve gameplay compared to the originals to achieve that.
Aah thats the stuff..
serge
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Russian Federation142 Posts
May 05 2011 18:53 GMT
#12
On May 06 2011 03:39 Geovu wrote:
Your whole post looks like verbal masturbation rofl.

However I have to disagree with you on your point about ghosts. They pwn everyone 100% of the time no matter how skilled they are, since they are ghosts.

I meant nukes specifically. Ghosts are great units and complement mech well, but nukes just don't do enough building damage to pull their weight. Although nuking a cluster of pylons could win you the game if you're going bio.

On May 06 2011 03:41 xarthaz wrote:
Show nested quote +


The only video-games I've played for more than 5 minutes are Natural Selection, Quake Live, XCOM: UFO DEFENSE, Jagged Alliance, TFC and StarCraft. That is an exhaustive list. I've found that all other video-games prioritize either accessibility to the bros, graphics over gameplay; or maybe they're just made for the idiot drooling man-children, the hell spawn of our recent technological progress, and are therefore of no interest to me. Needless to say, I wasn't very excited when SC2 was first announced. I was actually in the process of quitting games altogether; since the only enjoyment I got out of them was reducing public server populations to 0 by just utterly raping everyone with good aim, bug abuse and map control. Sorry entertainment industry, our honeymoon is over.
Funny you mention Quake Live and TFC, because those games are SPECIFICALLY versions made to target the casual crowd and have watered down low learning curve gameplay compared to the originals to achieve that.

I understand that, but the originals were pretty dead when I played those. There is warsow, but I am horrid at that.
I am Malkovich.
OutlaW-
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Czech Republic5053 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-05-05 19:05:22
May 05 2011 19:05 GMT
#13
On May 06 2011 03:21 MiniRoman wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 06 2011 03:08 serge wrote:
Oh yea? At least people fuck Russia. When's the last time you've heard anything about Canada?


lol. you're a funny guy ;P

btw isn't terran the newb race of sc2?

lol. you're a funny guy ;P

btw do you have any friends whatsoever?
Delete your post underage b&. You're incestuous for you're onee-chan so you're clearly not a bad guy, but others might not agree
reincremate
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
China2216 Posts
May 05 2011 19:06 GMT
#14
This is pretty elaborate for a QQ-I'm-too-egotistic-to-realize-I-suck-at-Starcraft whine thread
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
May 05 2011 19:10 GMT
#15
I'm a fan of video games!

proceeds to name 4 and then call all other games the hellspawn of technology

WTF???????
serge
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Russian Federation142 Posts
May 05 2011 19:12 GMT
#16
@all posters posting about how this is a testosterone powered ego masturbation blog:
What gave it away? The title that says "I've got huge balls?"

Come on.
I am Malkovich.
meep
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States1699 Posts
May 05 2011 19:15 GMT
#17
On May 06 2011 04:06 reincremate wrote:
This is pretty elaborate for a QQ-I'm-too-egotistic-to-realize-I-suck-at-Starcraft whine thread


At least it's whining in an original way.
閑静 しずか (ノ・_・)ノ
serge
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Russian Federation142 Posts
May 05 2011 19:17 GMT
#18
On May 06 2011 04:10 iNcontroL wrote:
I'm a fan of video games!

proceeds to name 4 and then call all other games the hellspawn of technology

WTF???????

wtf?

I'm NOT a fan of video games!

proceeds to name 4 and then call all other gamers the hellspawn of technology
I am Malkovich.
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
May 05 2011 19:23 GMT
#19
oh shit you said NOT

FUCK I misread it. Well.. on to my next stereotype: MIRACLE ON ICEEEEEEEEE
bITt.mAN
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Switzerland3693 Posts
May 05 2011 19:30 GMT
#20
Ahh, whatever happened to the time when iNcontroL would actually take the time to read the blogs of mere scrubs before posting

Even if Terran Macro mechanics lategame require more button mashing than other races, it still sure beats BW mechanics!
BW4LYF . . . . . . PM me, I LOVE PMs. . . . . . Long live "NaDa's Body" . . . . . . Fantasy | Bisu/Best | Jaedong . . . . .
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