EPT195 ：修羅場珍事 [sage] ：2007/01/06(土) 17:38:49 ID:cE6WOgxJ0
The last scene of carnage from last year.
I was extremely tired, and was rotting away in my room, feeling like the blood in my body was getting gooey and thick.
And for whatever reason I slowly began to feel empty, and was crying silently in my room, when my big brother opened the door to my room. His upper body was naked.
My brother does body building as a hobby. And he's extremely muscular now. It's more amazing that he doesn't have a hole somewhere on his head that he can shoot beams out of.
Anyways, he suddenly came to my room, looked at my depressed face, and for whatever reason,
"SIDE CHEST!!" "SIDE TRISECTS!!!" "RAT SPREAD FRONT!!!" he shouted as he started posing.
And as I started at him in shock, he used his sexy voice (self-titled), and with loudness such that he wouldn't need a microphone even in a large gymnasium,
"WHAT'S WRONG? YOU HAVE SUCH A DARK LOOK! IN A TIME LIKE THIS, DO SOME SQUATS!! LETS GO! ONE! TWO! CMON, TOGETHER!! CMON!!"
And he forcibly got me to do squats.
After about 20 minutes of doing squats, my circulation got better, my sleepiness disappeared, and I felt a lot less tired.
And then for some reason he made me drink kinako milk, and then shouted, "SEE YOU TOMORROW!" and went out to the convenience store.
After that, I somehow managed to finish my essay. And my big brother was run over by a bike on the way home.
But he came home with nary a scratch.
199 ：修羅 [sage] ：2007/01/06(土) 17:50:15 ID:aYiuU9Hc0
>And my big brother was run over by a bike on the way home.
Hey lol is your brother okay lol
200 ：珍事 [sage] ：2007/01/06(土) 18:04:43 ID: p20dBPF80
>>195
Was the person who ran him over okay...
203 ：195 [sage] ：2007/01/06(土) 18:30:31 ID:cE6WOgxJ0
My big brother is fine. He came home with his shirt ripped up, but when I asked him what happened, he said "I battled a horse" and slipped into his room.
About an hour later I received a phone call, "I ran over your son..." and found out then.
The person who ran over my brother was a soft-voiced high school boy. And he's the one that ended up with a bunch of scratches.
The person who ran over him and his parents came over, and my big brother spoke to them. Like, "I wasn't even scratched, and my side's casualties were just a burst pack of pudding and jelly..."
and such. In the end, they paid for his ripped T-shirt and pudding and jelly, and my big brother was ecstatic about getting a new T-shirt as well as his pudding and jelly.
My brother was much more worried about the person who ran him over, and with nothing else, here we are. The jelly and pudding he got was eaten by my mom and I.
Incidentally, just a bit earlier, my big brother hit his pinky on something in the kitchen and is being consoled by our cat.
766 名前：おさかなくわえた名無しさん[sage] 投稿日：2006/04/02(日) 18:03:33 ID:ORFznBx0
A relatively young, foreign man sitting in the waiting room at the train station. He was carrying a large backpack, so he was probably just here on a trip, but he seemed a bit off.
When I looked at him, he had a Sep Soy Lepso rice ball (Salmon). He was turning the rice ball every which way, looking at it from all angles, and bringing the label close to his face and intently trying to read it.
He seemed to not know how to open it.
When I was wondering if I should teach him, suddenly
"Nn"
I heard a small voice.
The voice belonged to a small Japanese grandpa sitting right next to the foreigner.
Grandpa pointed at himself, then at the rice ball, and stared into the foreigner's eyes,
"Nn"
and sounded again. "I'll teach you how to open it," seemed to be the point of his gesture.
The foreigner looked at grandpa, then at the rice ball, and then after a bit of pondering, handed the rice ball to grandpa.
Grandpa again sounded
"Nn"
and he grunted and received it.
Grandpa first ripped the vinyl down to the middle (where it says ①),
"Nn?"
and confirmed with the foreigner. Who nodded.
767 名前：おさかなくわえた名無しさん[sage] 投稿日：2006/04/02(日) 18:04:50 ID:ORFznBx0
Next, grandpa held both sides of the rice ball (② and ③), and showed a tugging motion, and again,
"Nn?"
confirmed. The foreigner nodded repeatedly again. His intent face was very cute.
When grandpa confirmed the foreigner was nodding, he feigned a bit, sliding the vinyl away bit by bit.
"Oh... ohh... oh..."
the foreigner softly cheered, timed to the sliding vinyl.
"Nfu... nfufu... fufu"
Feeling joy at the foreigner's reaction, grandpa naturally began smiling.
And then.
RIPPPPPP
"OHHHHHHHH"
The rice ball vinyl was ripped in two.
The foreigner cheered loudly.
Grandpa, turned to the foreigner and beamed, a smile.
"Ahhahahhhh! Hyeow!"
The foreigner was overjoyed by the vinyl being ripped.
For whatever reason, he started touching grandpa's shoulders and arms.
"Nffufu, nfufufufu."
With a ragged smile, grandpa poked his elbow back at the foreigner. They seemed so happy.
That whole day, I, too, smiled.
581 ：名無しの心子知らず ：2007/01/13(土) 17:25:50 ID:/9V2hsSh
I was about to be socially murdered at a nursery I was volunteering at.
For whatever reason a boy and girl were talking about pubic hairs that grow when you get older.
Girl "When you become an adult, hair grows! Papa and mama have them"
Boy "Then how about big brother teacher (me)?"
Girl "He's an adult, so he has hair too!"
Boy "No way-"
Girl "It's true! I saw!!"
That moment, all the adults in the nursery froze.
Thankfully, everyone knew that the girl often said "I saw!" so no one took it the wrong way, but
I will never forget the forced smile on everyone's faces...
258 名前：名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 投稿日：2006/06/23(金) 23:41:23 ID: zfctw/n8
I was so embarrassed one day I borrowed three AVs at once.
Clerk "When will you want to return them?"
Me "Today"
Clerk "Okay, today... today? T-today?"
The clerk was so shocked he forgot his clerk mask for a moment.
405 ：おさかなくわえた名無しさん：2006/07/21(金) 14:28:28 ID:i0w6FKTP
On the train, a grandma came onboard so I stood up and walked toward the door.
And then some weird guy with glasses quickly walked over, looked up at the grandma, who took a step back, and took the seat instead.
Just as I was thinking "what the fuck" this high school girl standing on the other door suddenly burst into laughter,
"Aw cmon that's not right! That's so not right! That's not yours is it? Ain't something up? Ain't that wrong?"
she said with a loud voice, pointing her finger, with a pink, witch-like nail with some designs on it.
The guy with glasses was so flustered he instantly stood back up and walked to a different car, and the high school girl got off at the next station like nothing ever happened.
For whatever reason that raised my spirits.
452 ：おさかなくわえた名無しさん ：2006/08/06(日) 12:48:29 ID: zny3sA1M
It was hellishly hot yesterday, but I had to go out to do something, so I was wandering around like a zombie.
And by the side of the road there were three big guys hunched over like tuna. (two white one black)
I think they had come from one of the American military bases somewhere, but you know, it was hot. They were KO'd.
There were other Japanese people sitting lazily in the tree shades, 'cause you know, it was hot. And they all had shaved ice from the store nearby.
The three big brothers didn't seem to know what they were eating.
And, while lying around, they seemed to be curious, and were sneaking looks.
And I was hot too, so I went and asked for a big Hawaiian Blue. And the shop's grandma started shaving ice to make one, and then, th- that's ice? It's cold（・∀・）?! the brothers seemed to realize, as they lined up behind me.
And after me they ordered strawberry and lemon and melon with this giddy look.
I think everyone in the area was also looking at the big brothers. Not really staring at them or anything, but "ahh, some foreigners are ordering shaved ice" kinda curiosity. And, the three of them sat down in the tree shady, and with super happy faces, grabbed a big spoonful, and with the same movement, using the same hand, with the same timing, they ate it.
And at the same time the cold went to their heads, and at the same time they went "oooh"... and put a hand to their head.
And everyone instantly looked away at the same time, and their shoulders began to tremble. I was close enough that I could hear the black guy go "oh my god."
And a couple that could hear him also, their shoulders began shaking, it looked like they were going to explode with laughter.
I think everyone there just felt so at home.
All yesterday, every time I remembered that scene I'd come close to laughing, and it was quite a dangerous day.
But man, it was such a hot day, and I was getting irritated, but because of those three guys I had a good day.
Thanks, guys.
537 名前：名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。[] 投稿日：2006/01/09(月) 03:46:45
A story I heard from my mother's friend.
It's about a wife who'd stepped on a train during her pregnancy.
A gentleman gave up his seat for her, and she thanked him and took the seat. As the gentleman stepped off the train, she noticed the company insignia on his suit sleeve.
"It's the same company as my husband."
She told the story to her husband when they both arrived home. Based on the wife's description of his appearance, they found out that he was another section manager, but one the husband knew.
The section manager apparently said, "Ahh, she was your wife! Small world!" and was surprised by the coincidence.
3 months later.
To the section manager's house, the wife sent a postcard using her own name. It was a postcard with a photo of the baby, and on it was written.
"Thank you for your gesture. This baby, is the baby from that day."
That day, apparently, the section manager's house turned into a battlefield
373 ：おさかなくわえた名無しさん ：2006/10/19(木) 17:48:59 ID:SWCJ9z+L
I've got a similar story.
This foreign couple came to this furniture store I worked at.
They seemed to be looking for a sofa, and the wife was looking at different colors.
As for the husband
He went to the kotatsu corner and was sitting in one the whole time.
(like literally, was all the way and only his head was poking out)
.｡ﾟ+.(･∀･)ﾟ+.ﾟ←he had this expression on his face
As he appealed to his wife, "this is good! this is good!"
Unfortunately, due to finances the husband's appeals were rejected and he looked like (´・ω・`)
68 おさかなくわえた名無しさん sage 2006/04/23(日) 14:18:45 ID:mcXgI2Ug
On the way home from work, I looked up, and saw a fish-shaped cloud in the sunset sky.
Without thinking, I said aloud
"Oh~ a goldfish"
and when I realized I'd spoken aloud, I looked around me, and locked eyes with a beautiful woman.
Eek, I was heard, and I wanted to shrink away with embarrassment when she said
"It's not a goldfish, it's a taiyaki (laugh)"
I- I was so happy...
71 おさかなくわえた名無しさん sage 2006/04/23(日) 16:17:33 ID:JzzrAYhM
>>68
Dude, that's koi (koi (鯉) is carp, but the poster deliberately wrote it in katakana (alphabet) - you can also write koi 恋 which is love :>)
360 名前：番組の途中ですが名無しです[sage] 投稿日：2005/08/08(月) 21:45:34 ID:kdhUGu8u0 ?##
I think my cat thinks I'm [it's] child lol when it becomes 1AM it taps the pillow on my bed, turns to me, and meows, like it's saying "go to sleep" lol
And even though I'm not sleepy I resign myself to the bed, and it lies down next to me, and taps my chest, sometimes I wonder if it's going to break out into a lullaby.
But what made me laugh the mots was when my friend came to my room once, it went to the next room, brought kitty feed that I'd given it as a snack, and placed one in front of both my friend and I. It was bringing us guest treats, I guess, but unfortunately tea was not served alongside lmao
625 ：おさかなくわえた名無しさん ：2006/10/10(火) 22:26:55 ID:eR1pztrQ
Not really a prank, but
During middle school breaks, 4-5 that lost in Rock Scissors Paper would hide in individual bathroom stalls and the winner would drop a bucket of water on one stall, was a game we played.
Codename "Benjamin." it was difficult to hide in such a way that the person outside can't see you, but there were some strategies that were brought up, like "Group Funeral" in which multiple people would hide in one stall, or placing jerseys and shoes in an obviously visible place "Partition," we had a bunch of tricks like that, and it'd become a highly sophisticated game of intellect.
One day, we were conversing about Benjamin in the class, when a teacher whispered,
"You seem to be talking about something fun, what kind of game? Let me in, too."
We weren't kind enough to explain all the details of Benjamin to a newcomer
"We hide in individual stalls. If you're caught you get penalized"
and let him tag along.
The teacher lost RSP and started talking,
"Oh my, I feel scared~ what's going to happen if I'm caught? I have a wife and kids so be kind o- ahduahfayghagju"
He kept talking even though "it" finished counting 30 seconds, so he instantly died.
While he was shrieking and wailing,
We were afraid of "time-lag" in which they split bucket water in two, and so the afternoon bathroom passed with no one else making a sound.
348 名前：名前が無い＠ただの名無しのようだ[sage] 投稿日：04/11/11(木) 22:04:05 ID:/ZSvu3g0
On its release date, my dad bought 4, for the Famicon.
After me and my little brother cleared it, our dad for some reason stayed at the start of Toruneko in Chapter 4 (where you can sell weapons), and amassed 50,000-60,000 gold.
When I think about it now, our dad had maxed out everyone's level even in 2, and I thought the just liked simple tasks, but I think it was a bit of an odd display of love, because he thought we'd like it if when we re-played the game our characters were strong or we had a lot of money.
Eventually my brother and I grew up, and we lived away from home, when my dad was hospitalized.
As a gift, I bought a GBA and the GB version of DQ 1, 2 and 3.
My father was just skin and bones by that point.
When I gave my dad the gifts, he was overjoyed, and spent most of his boring hospitalization playing them.
You don't have to do repetitive tasks for your kids anymore, dad.
Have fun adventuring, dad.
Eventually, my dad was unable to eat food normally, and his DQ3 party was named
Hero Korokke
Fighter Tsukune
Priest Tonkatsu
Merchant Oden
"I want to get healthy soon so I can eat these" laughed my dad.
That was the last time I saw my dad all bony.
As if taking revenge on the time he couldn't eat
his weight exploded! and overweight, my dad calls me sometimes, "When is 8 coming out!"
Congratulations on making it through.
Edit:
Forgot this finisher
![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/SCvdE.jpg)
Found on the Fukuoka Prefecture Police Site
BE CAREFUL OF HAND GRENADES!
~criminals using hand grenades have been rising in number~
Types of hand grenades
Hand grenades are a weapon that kill people by scattering shrapnel!
Come in many colors and shapes!
The force of hand grenades
~hand grenades have much more force than you might imagine~
Distance from hand grenade - Force
Roughly 10-15m - Death or heavy injury
Roughly 50m - Heavy injury from shrapnel
Roughly 200m - Shrapnel lands
When you've discovered a hand grenade
- Never step on, touch, or kick
- Immediately go away from the hand grenade
- Hide behind obstructions and protect yourself
When you've discovered other suspicious objects
- Please follow the guideline of "don't step, don't touch, don't kick" and distance yourself and immediately contact authorities
