So today I met with a therapist, 1 on 1. She was very nice, and tried to talk to me about anxiety, and how to deal with it. She talked about college, and how to control that anxiety. She helped me reaffirm that I’m a reasonable person, and that my mom is actually fairly crazy. But there are still a ton of issues. She in fact told me to keep a blog. So yeah, I might make an off tl one
But what’s been bugging me the most is that in two days I’m going in for a medical appointment to basically get told whats’ changed for the worse in my back. I’m fairly panicked, have had anxiety attacks, and have screwed up some tests and the like because my mind wanders and I can’t focus.
I do historically have issues focusing, but with all this stressful grades, and anxiety about colleges, and medical shit, I’ve just shut down. Thankfully I don’t have anything important due tomorrow, but today I didn’t do shit. At all. How can I focus when I’m so anxious. How do you guys control anxiety?
Fitness
Heck yes. Fitness. I feel like a weak imbecile, but I’m getting started on SS. Will continue doing squats and stuff, although I’m still confused by its format. I’ll ask some more in the fitness thread if I can’t figure it out. I hope it helps me get less anxious/less achy/more competent
And I just ran 3.5 miles ^^
Rage
Mom is raging at me not doing things. Making me feel like shit. I feel even less motivated. I missed signups for ASVAB, but it’s not that big a deal. My parents got some college planner shit, so I have access to other tests. Not sure what I want to do, although computational economics is my interest.
Is anyone here doing computational econ?
And finally, we had STAR (standardized) testing today. It was boring, easy, had free apples and bananas. But our principal made our entire school watch a video.
A video with poor grammar.
It told us to DO GOOD ON THE CST
Progress on fitness to be posted
Also, some random test (http://hypnoid.com/psytest2.html) said this about me
Your power comes from an ability to sense how things might be and to proclaim this possibility with a great force and willingness to act. You have a tendency to be romantic, and can be an idealist. This sense of how the world can be is often expressed with self-deprecatory humor. Because of your need to address the immediacy of the moment, you may not think things through to their logical end, relying instead on a feeling for how a situation SHOULD end. You need to be liked and appreciated by others, although your attention often wanders. Sometimes you neglect old friends in favor of a new or exciting acquaintance. You have a real difficulty being alone. Often you will seem to know how to handle a situation without exactly knowing HOW you know this. Your thoughts are often shallow. While in the excitement of the moment you can obsess about a task at hand. If it should become rote and unexciting, however, it can be dropped just as quickly.