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I'm sorry... bitches.

Blogs > djWHEAT
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djWHEAT
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
United States925 Posts
April 17 2011 00:29 GMT
#1
Good morning, and thank you for joining me. Many of you in this room are my friends. Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me or you’ve worked with me or you’ve supported me.

Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in.

I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish. People want to know how I could have done these things to the community and to my children. And while I have always tried to be a private person, there are some things I want to say.

The community and I have started the process of discussing the damage caused by my behavior. As the community pointed out to me, my real apology to you will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time. We have a lot to discuss; however, what we say to each other will remain between us.

I am also aware of the pain my behavior has caused to those of you in this community. I have let you down, and I have let down my fans. For many of you, especially my friends, my behavior has been a personal disappointment. To those of you who work for me, I have let you down personally and professionally. My behavior has caused considerable worry to my business partners.

To everyone involved in my foundation, including my staff, board of directors, sponsors, and most importantly, the young StarCraft players we reach, our work is more important than ever. Thirteen years ago, Angel Munoz and I envisioned helping young people achieve their dreams through education. This work remains unchanged and will continue to grow. From the StarCraft Learning Center students in Southern California to the Weapon of Choice fans in Washington, D.C., millions of kids have changed their lives, and I am dedicated to making sure that continues.

But still, I know I have bitterly disappointed all of you. I have made you question who I am and how I could have done the things I did. I am embarrassed that I have put you in this position.

For all that I have done, I am so sorry.

The issue involved here was my repeated irresponsible behavior. I was unfaithful. I said "bitches". I offended you. What I did is not acceptable, and I am the only person to blame.

I stopped living by the core values that I was taught to believe in. I knew my actions were wrong, but I convinced myself that normal rules didn’t apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I thought only about myself. I ran straight through the boundaries that a castere should live by. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the vocabulary around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn’t have to go far to find those words.

I was wrong. I was foolish. I don’t get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself. I hurt my wife, my kids, my cats, my mother, Hot Bit, a Battlecruiser named "ESPORTS", my wife’s family, my friends, my foundation, and kids all around the world who admired me.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I’ve done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It’s now up to me to make amends, and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I’ve made. It’s up to me to start living a life of integrity.

I once heard, and I believe it’s true, it’s not what you achieve in life that matters; it’s what you overcome. Achievements on the golf course are only part of setting an example. Character and decency are what really count.

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

It’s hard to admit that I need help, but I do. For 45 days from the end of December to early February, I was in vocal coach therapy guidance for the issues I’m facing. I have a long way to go. But I’ve taken my first steps in the right direction.

As I proceed, I understand people have questions. I understand the press wants to ask me for the details and the times I used the word "bitches". I understand people want to know whether Day[9] and I will remain together. Please know that as far as I’m concerned, every one of these questions and answers is a matter between Day[9] and me. These are issues between a husband and a wife.

Some people have made up things that never happened. They said I used performance enhancing drugs to decrease the vulgarity of my vocabulary. This is completely and utterly false. Some have written things about my family. Despite the damage I have done, I still believe it is right to shield my family from the public spotlight. They did not do these things; I did.

I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all I am the one who needs to change. I owe it to my family to become a better person. I owe it to those closest to me to become a better man. That’s where my focus will be.

I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me was becoming a Zerg play, which IdrA taught me at a young age. People probably don’t realize it, but I was raised a Zerg, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years. The Swarm teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously I lost track of what I was taught and BM'ed.

As I move forward, I will continue to receive help because I’ve learned that’s how people really do change. Starting tomorrow, I will leave for more treatment and more therapy. I would like to thank my friends at TeamLiquid and the players in the field this week for understanding why I’m making these remarks today.

In therapy I’ve learned the importance of looking at my spiritual life and keeping in balance with my professional life. I need to regain my balance and be centered so I can save the things that are most important to me, my job and my children.

That also means relying on others for help. I’ve learned to seek support from my peers in therapy, and I hope someday to return that support to others who are seeking help. I do plan to return to casting one day, I just don’t know when that day will be.

I don’t rule out that it will be this year. When I do return, I need to make my behavior more respectful of the game. In recent weeks I have received many thousands of emails, letters and phone calls from people expressing good wishes. To everyone who has reached out to me and my family, thank you. Your encouragement means the world to me.

I want to thank the TeamLiquid.net, Commissioner Nazgul, the Blizzard Development Team, the eSports Governing Agency, and the players for their patience and understanding while I work on my private life. I look forward to seeing my fellow players on the course.

Finally, there are many people in this room, and there are many people at home who believed in me. Today I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.

Thank you.

****
OneMoreGame.tv // Weapon Of Choice // Kings Of Tin // Inside The Game // Live On Three
Elegy
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States1629 Posts
April 17 2011 00:32 GMT
#2
Oh Captain my captain!

DJWheat for life.
Crazyeyes
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada1342 Posts
April 17 2011 00:33 GMT
#3
In time, we may forgive you.

Writing all of that must have been a bitch.
WeeEEeeEEEeeEEEeeeEEee!!
Zestypasta
Profile Joined August 2010
United States61 Posts
April 17 2011 00:33 GMT
#4
don't worry. you didn't offend me
great commentary today btw!
At least I got chicken
Masq
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1792 Posts
April 17 2011 00:33 GMT
#5
;o

oh you..
GHOSTCLAW
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States17042 Posts
April 17 2011 00:34 GMT
#6
great job today <3
PhotographerLiquipedia. Drop me a pm if you've got questions/need help.
Count9
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
China10928 Posts
April 17 2011 00:35 GMT
#7
Lol, the second I heard the intro that I knew people were going to blow it completely out of proportion, not because they're offended but because they like to instigate shit on the internet.
PanN
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States2828 Posts
April 17 2011 00:37 GMT
#8
You crack me up. =)
We have multiple brackets generated in advance. Relax . (Kennigit) I just simply do not understand how it can be the time to play can be 22nd at 9:30 pm PST / midnight the 23rd at the same time. (GGzerg)
Zlasher
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States9129 Posts
April 17 2011 00:37 GMT
#9
How DARE you say a word that once was a term used to reference a female canine, which was later turned used to reference a woman in a derogatory manner. I feel insulted that you would use such a term on the air to 40,000+ stream watchers and later, MILLIONS MORE in the VOD's. After all, words will never change their meaning or anything, and in 50 years somebody will watch the VOD and think to themselves, "Wow, Marcus "djWHEAT" Graham just called me a female dog. What a bastard!"

+ Show Spoiler +
I love you wheat :D
Follow me: www.twitter.com/zlasher
Zapdos_Smithh
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Canada2620 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-04-17 00:40:21
April 17 2011 00:37 GMT
#10
Rofl good one!

One thing I literally cannot STAND are those "starcraft dads" who are saying "excuse me sir, but can you please not swear or use profane words as my 7 year old is watching this with me and I don't want to expose him to anything vulgar...shame on you commentator..."

...

STARCRAFT 2 IS RATING TEEN, HELLLLOOOO! Your kid shouldn't even be watching anyway! Can't you see all the blood on the screen? Isn't the concept of war obvious enough to you? Watch starcraft on your own time, or at least when they are not looking!!

AGH so annoying! Swear all you want DJWheat!
TheRhox
Profile Joined March 2011
Canada868 Posts
April 17 2011 00:38 GMT
#11
great blog! 5/5
Sermokala
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States13844 Posts
April 17 2011 00:40 GMT
#12
I havn't seen all the vods yet for tsl

fucking spoiler :p
A wise man will say that he knows nothing. We're gona party like its 2752 Hail Dark Brandon
Buffy
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Sweden665 Posts
April 17 2011 00:42 GMT
#13
haha, awesome, haters gonna hate. Keep the magic flowing :D Love your casts !!
Yes I am
EiBmoZ
Profile Joined January 2011
Canada235 Posts
April 17 2011 00:43 GMT
#14
we all love you 519stylez, ooops i mean DJWheat... i guess i will always remember you from our q2 days =D
quirinus
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Croatia2489 Posts
April 17 2011 00:43 GMT
#15
Lol, good transition.

I don't mind the bitches, but I guess I might come to the same tree in the future.
All candles lit within him, and there was purity. | First auto-promoted BW LP editor.
Kaonis
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States243 Posts
April 17 2011 00:44 GMT
#16
Dude what?
I'm mad someone got mad!
Nevermind.
GGQ
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Canada2653 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-04-17 00:44:49
April 17 2011 00:44 GMT
#17
djWOODS?
qdenser
Profile Joined September 2010
Canada133 Posts
April 17 2011 00:44 GMT
#18
tldr

User was warned for this post
BW is still out there and a lots of people still watch it. SC2 is a different game and different people. Please go back to BW if you think sc2 is not suited for you - Dustin Browder
Zim23
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1681 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-04-17 00:48:28
April 17 2011 00:47 GMT
#19
On April 17 2011 09:44 GGQ wrote:
djWOODS?

Haha yeah I felt like it was the Tiger Woods speech. djWHEAT: never change dawg, never change.
Do an arranged marriage if she's not completely minging, and don't worry about dancing, get a go-kart, cheers.
Varpulis
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States2517 Posts
April 17 2011 00:49 GMT
#20
What did I miss while the stream was lagging...?

I thought this was serious until he mentioned him and Day[9] being married...



... Then I knew he was serious!
For he is the Oystermeister, lord of all the oysters.
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