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![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Vw6mS.png)
iNcontroL's Announcement Will Not Cure Cancer or End World Hunger
For months, Geoff “iNcontroL” Robinson and others have been hyping a big announcement, even using the increasingly popular trend of announcing announcements for an announcement. Earlier today, he finally revealed his announcement after a showmatch between a Gorilla and a Gracken. The announcement is the North American Star League, a 50 player tournament lasting for months and with a $400,000 prize pool over 3 seasons.
People all over the world were disappointed to hear this announcement. Most were expecting a cure for cancer or an end to world hunger. Still others were hoping for the discovery and perfection of cold fusion, eternal world peace, or even something as simple as uniting the world's religions. Sadly, the world will have to settle for the largest Starcraft 2 tournament outside Korea.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/uFhhx.jpg)
This child was sad to hear that he won't be eating tonight because iNcontroL decided to create a tournament rather than end world hunger
With all the hype, many committees were ready to award prizes to iNcontroL such as all of the Nobel Prizes, the U.S. Congressional Medal of Honor, 24 Olympic Gold Medals, and Agnes Thompson Literacy Award from the New Hampshire Coalition of Retired Librarians. But, instead those committees will have to find actual scientists, heroes, athletes, and literate people to give their awards to.
Other people were angry with the showmatch itself. Animal activists were outraged that a gorilla and a Gracken were forced to fight to the death. Activist Sky Panda Wolf Borkowski had this to say, “The Gracken is one of the rarest and most precious creatures we have on Earth. His imbalanced figure, the way he lashes out at others when angry, and how he suddenly runs away from a fight the second he has a disadvantage makes him truly unique. The gorilla, which we have nicknamed “Chinro” for the large tuft of hair on his chin and fondness for the Soju brand, Jinro, is truly one of the most dominant creatures in Korea. It is horrible to see these two beautiful creatures being forced to fight to the death for a prize of $1500. They should get at least get 5 figures.”
On the positive side, it is believed that the tournament will be casted exclusively by everyone's favorite casters, KellyMILKIES and Maven.
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+ Show Spoiler [Infested Archon archive] +
+ Show Spoiler [Edit] +Fixed a couple things to make sure the article is as accurate as possible. The Infested Archon prides itself on the truthiness and accuracy of our articles.
Added RSS Feed link
 
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United States313 Posts
Lot of fun, keep on doing what you do =)
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Hahahaha brilliant article!
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On February 22 2011 09:54 Hoju wrote:
On the positive side, it is believed that the tournament will be casted exclusively by everyone's favorite casters, KellyMILKIES and Maven.
I think the choice of casters was lacking. Considering that this isn't a serious post and the first of those casters is actually good.
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Haha, aww... poor Gracken :<
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Your my hero, seriously!
Great blog once again!
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On February 22 2011 10:01 Yurie wrote:Show nested quote +On February 22 2011 09:54 Hoju wrote:
On the positive side, it is believed that the tournament will be casted exclusively by everyone's favorite casters, KellyMILKIES and Maven.
I think the choice of casters was lacking. Considering that this isn't a serious post and the first of those casters is actually good.
whether shes good or bad you cannot deny a lot of people dislike her at the moment.
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Bwahahah
Amazing as usual 
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Incontrol is such a troll for not ending world hunger with that 400,000 dollars. Think of all the mouths he could feed for a year with that money instead of giving us this great entertainment while we eat our Mcdonald's and slurp down our milk shakes?
Anyways good article, made me laugh! :D
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LOOL That's awesome! Now I have to read all your previous blogs! :D
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Lolrofl as-per-usual...
Lovin the gracken description.
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haha that was a great one!
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I love the infested archon.
And so fast!
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On February 22 2011 10:30 Zephirdd wrote:
I love the infested archon.
And so fast!
It's like I knew ahead of time that it was going to be a Starcraft League and wouldn't cure cancer.
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On February 22 2011 09:54 Hoju wrote:
On the positive side, it is believed that the tournament will be casted exclusively by everyone's favorite casters, KellyMILKIES and Maven.
i rofled so much on this.
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On February 22 2011 10:32 Hoju wrote:Show nested quote +On February 22 2011 10:30 Zephirdd wrote:
I love the infested archon.
And so fast! It's like I knew ahead of time that it was going to be a Starcraft League and wouldn't cure cancer.
Touchè.
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it COULD cure cancer if the winners donate that money to cancer research.
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Kekekeke loved it 
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United Kingdom2950 Posts
Awesome stuff. I wish I could subscribe to blogs! :<
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Awesome, made me lol already at the title.
And again, who's Maven? ._.
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On February 22 2011 11:31 zz_ wrote:
Awesome, made me lol already at the title.
And again, who's Maven? ._.
Maven was one of the casters on GLHF.tv at Assembly and he received a lot of criticism. You can dig through the GLHF.tv thread or the assembly thread if you want more details.
On February 22 2011 11:29 Wunder wrote:
Awesome stuff. I wish I could subscribe to blogs! :<
RSS Feed: http://www.teamliquid.net/blog/infestedarchon/rss or follow me on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/InfestedArchon
I'll start putting an RSS feed link in the articles, since it only shows it in the main blog page.
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Is it bad that IA is the only news source I read? No, no it isn't.
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I've been waiting for the next IA. I was not disappointed.
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LOL this is the best one yet. Great job!
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5 stars
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Zurich15365 Posts
Hahahahaha the headlines always kill me. GJ!
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Read 'em all. This blog needs a bit more exposure.
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This is freakin hilarious!
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EPT
