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edit: I mean long distance relationships, sorry for the errors and if mods could change it that would be nice.
Recently, this girl and I who met on a Counter Strike server (really random, I know) started talking a bit and suddenly it turned to who we liked. We'd been in touch for a while by this time, so I came up and straight up told her that she was the one who I liked. She returned the feelings. Lately, we've been talking more and more (don't worry, I won't go into detail) and I've been really eager to go out and meet her. I live in San Jose while she lives in Las Vegas, about an 8 hour drive or a $190 plane ticket.
If I do go, there is a good chance I could lose my virginity to her.
Is it crazy to think I could drive over for a weekend? I'm only 16 and a junior in high school right now, obviously this is different than if I was a crazy college student. I just want to know other people's experiences with things like this.
Thanks, Team Liquid 
edit: quite a good post to make 500, i suppose.
 
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You mean long distance relationships?
I've never done anything of the sorts, but make sure what ever you decide to do, be smart, be safe, and use protection!
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On February 18 2011 15:05 ShaSKiRa wrote:
she older than you?
Only by eight months, not a major difference.
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Hate to break it to you, but you should hardly commit to a relationship with a classmate at 16, let alone someone far away.
Long-distance can work out in mature, already established relationships, but not with a 16 year old(which i assume she is) who you havn't even met before. You'll be putting in much more than you're getting out from it.
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On February 18 2011 15:07 Backpack wrote:
Hate to break it to you, but you should hardly commit to a relationship with a classmate at 16, let alone someone far away.
Long-distance can work out in mature, already established relationships, but not with a 16 year old(which i assume she is) who you havn't even met before. You'll be putting in much more than you're getting out from it.
This is why I posted this blog. Thanks for the input, I'll definitely consider this. I'm tentative to get into a serious relationship or get committed, but its not like we're incredibly far away.
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This isnt a long-distance relationship, it is an online relationship. Big difference. You are too young to even consider spending that money and going across the country to meet a girl. Sorry
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wait you haven't even met this person yet?
good luck convincing your parents to let you go meet her
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Money comes and goes. I say do it if you are both keen. No sense having regrets later in life. The worst thing that will happen is you just won't get along all that well in real life. The positive from this is that at least you will know for sure.
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On February 18 2011 15:15 awu25 wrote:
wait you haven't even met this person yet?
good luck convincing your parents to let you go meet her
I can be pretty convincing if I have to... although I see what you mean :S
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Long distance relationships should only be attempted if you have a well, WELL established relationship irl with that person imo. It's hard enough even under those circumstances. Online relationship...well...I don't want to say they NEVER work, but it's close to that.
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On February 18 2011 15:09 gogogadgetflow wrote:
This isnt a long-distance relationship, it is an online relationship. Big difference. You are too young to even consider spending that money and going across the country to meet a girl. Sorry
Definitely agree with this. It's one thing to meet someone and say have them move away yet continue things while visiting them on a semi-regular basis (i.e. monthly/etc) versus meeting someone online and having a "relationship" with them while you've never met them.
Besides, you're young and I'm sure once you meet someone who lives in the same city as you you'll see how silly it is to be in an online/LDR at your age.
(I was in a similar boat when I was 16 and then I met someone in my own city and realized that an LDR at my age didn't really make sense).
edit: Definitely consider that interactions online can oftentimes be very misleading compared to how people are in real life, not to say that all people are as such.
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I would be hesitant to drive 8 hours to meet some1 for the first time, online relationships are different from real life encounters. A friend of mine travelled half across sweden for to meet an online fling for the first time, it ended up with her not letting him sleep over (not even on the couch...) and he was forced to sleep at a train station like a bum until he could take the first train home.
People are unpredictable, and to assume you will connect in real life like you do online can lead to some pretty big disappointments. Going would be a gamble, but if you're prepared to drive 16 hours and maybe end up with nothing then go for broke. A relationship however will be 99% impossible, there is no way two 16-year olds are going to manage that with 8 hour drives between them.
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Well, I have experience with this, so I'll add my two cents. I met one girl online when I was about your age (I'm 25 now), but she lived so far away... it wasn't really realistic for me to visit her. We talked for two years, fell in love during that time, but it ended pretty badly. The distance tore us apart. Five years later, however, we started talking again and became very good friends. We still talk today. It's a very odd relationship, because we both like eachother a lot, but we've never met and we know it would have never worked out, so she's married and I'm doing my own thing.
The next girl I met online was shortly before college. After 3 months, we were basically in love and had to meet. So, we arranged dates to meet. She was about 8 hours away. Each visit made things worse, because the fact that we had to leave eachother took more and more of a toll. I remember one visit very vividly, because it was the day before I was leaving for home. We saw Spiderman 2 and I tried to hold back my tears through the whole movie. We ate at Chili's afterwards and I just lost it...sobbed like a baby. It was horrible. After a year or so, she decided to move to my college! I was overjoyed. We dated all through college and it was awesome, but after college, she left me. I couldn't figure out why at first, but I know now. She made a big sacrifice to live near me and I just wasn't what she expected. It's not that I was a bad boyfriend, it's that online personas seem so perfect. Real life just lets you down. I had fun in the relationship, but I wouldn't want to do that again with anyone else.
My advice? Don't do it. The stress will consume you after a while, and even if you do somehow find a way to live near eachother, it's not going to satisfy you. Believe me. Online relationships are not impossible, but also aren't worth it, unfortunately.
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I have been involved in two long distance relationships. One ended very ugly, the other is an ongoing question mark, but lets call it ended for now. My advice to you is that you probably shouldn't start a long distance relationship with someone you aren't already in love(or whatever you want to call it) with. After my experiences I would only ever stay in a long distance relationship if I had dated the woman for at least a year or two prior and knew there was potential that she was teh one.
On one side, long distance is interesting because there is a different kind of dialogue between the two of you. You can bond intellectually (well you're kinda forced too) but you miss out on the physical. Besides conjugal visits of course hahah. Long distance also seems to keep things fresh and exciting. Every day of a visit I'd be off the wall excited and enjoying myself. I don't know about you but lack of sex AS well as the simple desire to have the one you care about close to you ate away at me. It's something you can deal with for a while but after a year and a half of being half a continent apart, I gg'ed.
TL;DR
Long distance sucks, don't do it unless you think she's "teh one"
However, adventures are always fun, and who doesn't like traveling. ROLL THE DICE?
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On February 18 2011 15:39 Pathology wrote:
I have been involved in two long distance relationships. One ended very ugly, the other is an ongoing question mark, but lets call it ended for now. My advice to you is that you probably shouldn't start a long distance relationship with someone you aren't already in love(or whatever you want to call it) with. After my experiences I would only ever stay in a long distance relationship if I had dated the woman for at least a year or two prior and knew there was potential that she was teh one.
On one side, long distance is interesting because there is a different kind of dialogue between the two of you. You can bond intellectually (well you're kinda forced too) but you miss out on the physical. Besides conjugal visits of course hahah. Long distance also seems to keep things fresh and exciting. Every day of a visit I'd be off the wall excited and enjoying myself. I don't know about you but lack of sex AS well as the simple desire to have the one you care about close to you ate away at me. It's something you can deal with for a while but after a year and a half of being half a continent apart, I gg'ed.
TL;DR
Long distance sucks, don't do it unless you think she's "teh one"
However, adventures are always fun, and who doesn't like traveling. ROLL THE DICE?
Once I get a bit more freedom, it's feasible that I could go over every once in a while. It's an ~8 hour drive and thats if I go the speed limit, so more like 7.
I'm not sure if I'll ever make it too serious though. I don't know if I would be able to take that...
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I have had an experience with this, but mine differs in that we dated for 4 years before she moved.
Basically my GF of 4 years moved to Texas, we both were completely miserable for 6 months and she moved back. But the problem was she came back a completely different person. She changed to cope with not being around me anymore and I did the same, so when we finally got back together and were seeing eachother every day we were both apprehensive. We held it together for 2 more years, and eventually we broke up because the people we both were be4 the time apart was different than the people we changed into while trying to do things long-distance.
I guess it varies greatly since we were in love before she left instead of starting off long distance. IMO your 16, dont waste time with long distance things, date people in your own area, you can't enjoy all of the best parts of being a new couple and in the fresh happy part in a relationship if you both are so far separated.
Can't end well in my opinion. Stay friends, if in 2 years you both decide you wanna attend the same college, if its fate it'll work out. GL tho.
And be careful cause women are completely illogical beings, and deep down are all relatively evil.
But i will NEVER give you the "ur 16 u cant be in love" bs.. i am still completely 100% in love with the girl i dated my freshman year of highschool and its not even a guess or a feeling, its 100%... when you can remember the EXACT day/time/clothes u both were wearing the first time u saw someone and were hit by "Wow... gotta have her" after8 years, and still ahve dreams about her though u have had 4 girlfriends since then including a 6 year relationship... ya its safe to say i loved/love her. biggest regret of my life is dumping her cause my friend bet me i couldnt get a date with the new girl >< karma is a bitch.
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7 hour drives are not short by any means. 7 hour drives is a shift at work nearly, think of how boring that will be. That will turn into insanity over time, and imagine if you fight while you're there? God forbid you have to drive 7 hours home, pissed off. It's not worth it. It's just one girl in a sea of billions.
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If you don't want it "serious" long distance is not for you. Straight up. If you want a casual relationship have a peak around your area for a friendly cute girl. Meeting them is pretty easy. Meeting the right ones and following through is a different matter haha.
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+ Show Spoiler +I'm sorry, my post is extremely rushed because I have to go to work. This is my experience with long distance... in a long post ;P.
First of all, I can't call a "PC-to-PC --> SEX" any kind of real relationship (in terms of really feeling loved and secure). I'm the kind of Christian guy who gets married before sex because that way I can give all my love to one single person without having bad thoughts or regrets from the past. It is such a blessing when you know for sure that you can give everything you've got to the perfect girl and she loves you back with absolutely pure feelings. Don't make love happen just in the lust of sex or any addictive things that are not meant for growing up relationships. Sex is meant to be REALLY GOOD and it is supposed to bind two people together, but nowadays people ruin the image of it and spread their "love life" all over the place.
All that being said, I'll also tell you that I'm in a LDR (started on last summer) aka Long distance relationship with a finnish girl who started studies in Scotland. Don't be confused, this is a real relationship with long term plans - we are looking forward for her to finish her studies and come back to Finland then we get married. We are absolutely happy to have each other even though we can see each other only every ~100 days for almost a month at a time.
We don't even dream about having sex when we get together because we can build up the foundation for our relationship and enjoy our lives in many many other ways. I never feel any doubts about this relationship because we talk almost every day and we trust each other. But... the feeling of love sometimes makes me "hurt" because I want to hold her sometimes really hard.
And... it's... not... possible...
We have absolutely fantastic mental relationship but our physical relationship is on ice for extended periods of time (long distance does this). It doesn't make us feel lonely, but it just doesn't allow to express our feelings with actions like hugs and kisses which are really healthy when words don't always feel that fulfilling. There is no substitute for
Conclusion: LDR with serious commitment is hard. But it will show you if the love is real - if you can hold on to all the sex and addictive stuff and still love each other (without lust) and stand the test of time (of being physically apart from each other).
PS. I wrote all this even though I don't think you're having anything like this in mind, but I must tell you that I feel like the happiest man on Earth with this girl. We value things like family in life and it also brings joy to a lot of people around us. This is something I was not even able to dream of and I feel like God gave her to me. I want to encourage you to be different from all the sex-addicts and become truly happy with your life... and you wife .
PPS. Here is something I wrote to her about our LDR:
The weight of long distance between two lovers
We both can aknowledge the pain that our distance sometimes causes to us. Even though you can fulfill my heart with your love and vice versa we keep missing out on our physical relationship. It is incredibly healthy to be able to lay down the goodnight kisses and to actually feel, hear, see, smell and even taste the person who you are bound in incredible love with. Words will never be able to take the role of the feelings that are gained through actions.
Being side by side with the partner is the most comfortable and relaxing situation one can ever have. If everything is alright between the couple, then they will be able to share happiness unmatched by anything that the world could possibly give. It has such an emotional impact and a
flood of positive feelings that those even carry out on to the following days making the couple shine
the light of love. Feelings though, are forgotten when enough time passes.
It is important to maintain the physical relationship. Not because it could possibly make us falsely
fall in love and bound to each other (”chemistry”), but to feel things that are meant to be felt when
everything else is said and done. Strong mental relationship leads into extremely good and unique
feelings from having time together. This is what every healthy couple wants to do, a lot.
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EPT
