EPTThis has been pretty much busy week in terms of real-life. Christmas and all that. Although, my goal is still clear in my mind, despite of hard bumps I managed to encounter even despite of my busy schedule. First of all, due to erm.. drinking and stuff like that, I decided to take a laddering break, until my life goes back to mundane stereotype days again, which is probably going to be till beginning of next week and then on the last day of this precious year. Then I'm going to resume my efforts to climb up.
So, if you haven't laddered, what have you been doing?
Of course, me being such SC2 addict, I just couldn't let it lie down completelly. I know how badly only two days breaks mess up my game. Especially on Tuesday, it was very SC2'ey day. Long story short, I felt very sick at night from Monday to Tuesday, so I was even unable to sleep. I was awake whole night, tried to go to bed around 6 am to find out I still couldn't sleep. Deciding to screw up my attempts to sleep, I just went back to my PC. Since it was such inhuman time for us, Europeans, I kicked my US account online to find out my friend Jason 'Loophole' online. It made me wonder, because we are six hours apart, so it was like way past midnight for him. So I didn't expect him to be online at all - in fact, I expected my very good friend from another game to be online, as he has very strange sleeping patterns; and despite of him hating games against real people, we always have huge relaxing laugh while kicking AI's around and that's what I hoped to do. Nothing serious, which was just about what I needed, to keep myself occupied while I felt so incredibly sick.
But yeah, this dear friend of mine wasn't online so I got in touch with Jason. When I did that, I didn't expect to do some stuff for next 8 hours straight, but hey, I was totally grateful for that. It was way waaaay better than to try to fall asleep while tossing myself around in bed, being unable to sleep. Needs to be said that these 8 hours were highly productive, although I have to admit that after night without sleep and then whole day of me needing to focus on stuff, I was becoming slower and slower. Even my hands refused to do what I wanted them to do. I mean, asking me to quickly blink my stalkers to them avoid being hit one by one after lack of sleep... uhhh. My head. Haha. Also, after whole that time on SC2, I went to bed around 9 pm my time and woke up past 10 am next day. Slept like baby... heh
Also, finding out that I've been doing whole my micro (namely kiting) wrong was kind of funny as well. Oh the joys of re-learning. I swear, once you learn something wrong and it's part of your muscle memory, it takes hell to re-learn. Up to this day, nobody really explained me how that was done, so I learnt it wrong, only to find out once Jason explained me how it's done properly. I felt stupid. No matter; at least I might do it well in the future. Although, I won't do it too much, such micro kills my macro, so.. maybe later, when I'm more proficient at macroing. But, knowledge surely doesn't hurt, does it?
Some decisions...
I also finally decided to use my US account for practicing. I mean, those who follow my 'Diamond or Bust' series know that I'm terribly scared of laddering, so I basically go only like 3 games/day on my EU account on ladder. But, after talking to Jason about all of this, it seems it'd be good way of faster improvement, if I simply just played more games on ladder, and thus, using my US account for this purpose, where I don't really care about my rating or anything. While I prefer practicing with buddies; lately I had severe problem with even having any online, I blame WoW for that, as they all went to play it. Geez. Shoot WoW, thank you. So, my training time dropped and it made me quite frustrated. But, if I just use my US account for practicing on US ladder, the issue may fix itself and my lack of training partners + I'll face the unknown and diversity common for my own level. After all, my friends know the way how I play and let's face it, they abuse it big time. Say, my platinum Zerg friend... he knows I'm rather passive in my games and try to macro up before doing anything; so he drones up hard and then squashes me like worthless bug.
First games on US? Cheesefest!
Ohhh the joys. First two games I got Zealot-rushed. I know why I cringe at PvP these days. I even managed to scout it and identify it in the second game, but I managed to do major screw up, getting my army divided so he managed to beat the hell out of me. Third game was actually funny one. It was again a PvP, on Jungle Basin. I went scout as usually on 9Pylon and all that jazz. That guy had rather weird build, but it didn't smell cheesy at all, so I proceeded with 3Gate + Robo build. Of course, I was smart enough to keep an observer with my army, which actually won me the game. Why do you ask? That guy seemed to 'Mothership rush' me, and to his unluckiness, he went to hit my Main when I was hitting his own base. I swear, he recalled out his army literally seconds before my forces struck at his base... heh. And that's not the only thing - After killing off his base; mine was getting demolished by bunch of invisible void-rays, couple of Stalkers and Zealots, with huge Mommaship hovering over them. It was race from now on. As I knew if he killed last of my building, I'd be done. Moving fast with my army to kill his; I noticed he was no longer revealed. The bugger build a Nexus in place where my natural was. So if he finished me off before I killed his army, I'd be a goner. But, he seems to miss my 4 sneaky Pylons behind mineral line. wait... how could he miss those? I proceeded with my army to kill off his and it ended up with him going all '
' on me before leaving the game.Another training day
Jason had me to face him, while he tried various cheese builds on me. We did that for another good portion of the day. Whenever I did just a small mistake, it was his typical 'remake' remark and we went all from the beginning again. Man, I was so tired in the end. I mean, SC2 is really mentally challenging and tiring game. Especially when I try to absorb new stuff. So, to keep me on my toes, he threw any cheese you can think of, as a Protoss. Cannon-rushes, zealot-rushes... you name it. It took me quite few attempts to be able to fend these off, and even after, I seem to struggle to identify some of them; ie Zealot-rush is hard for me to recognize.
So after another couple of hours me facing Jason's cheese, I went to play another game on US ladder. I was quite confident I'd be able to fend off the cheese if it was PvP and they tried to cheese me. But, it was PvT this time. I sighed with relief somehow...but hey, guess what? The guy marine-rushed me. I can't even describe the frustration I went through. With teeth gritted from that frustration, being tired from the all-day practice, I decided to do the last placement match. It was PvT again... and really, I have no idea why I lost it. I seemed to be ahead of my opponent whole game, but then, I simply lost that game. Was I too tired? Unmotivated? Who knows.
Oh the mindset...biggest enemy?
Out of 5 games I played, 4 were basically either cheeses or all-ins. I wonder what's with that? Do people nowadays just enjoy cheap wins without effort over long enjoyable games? I admit I felt so awfully miserable after losing 4 games out of 5. I mean, I did better than that when doing my Placement matches on EU and that was some time ago. I felt as if all the efforts I did were wasted. As if efforts Jason put in while trying to teach my dumb self were wasted. In short, I was kicking and blaming myself again. I'm apparently good at that. I even took it on that Zerg friend player I mentioned earlier, after I played him later on, called him names and all that. It was completelly out of place and it's frankly not how I normally react. If he wasn't my friend for like last 5 years I bet he'd just never talk to me again for the attitude and crap I gave him. He didn't deserve that at all and all what happened was that he was at wrong place in very bad time.
The way I feel, the way I think. It affects the way I play so hard. It seems that my own mindset is going to be huge enemy on my path to self-improvement and reaching Diamond.
I don't know how to deal with loss at all, frankly. I'm very result-orientated person and when I seem to lose to all-ins and cheeses, then doing bad mistakes even in normal games, there's surely not much improvement, right? I don't need to win every game, damnit.
I just need to see progress, that I'm becoming better every game. It's actually why I had such bad go at my Zerg friend - I told him that the gap between us is still the same and he said it was not truth. I went into rage, telling him he could stuff his pretty talk and I didn't need him to try and make me feel better. Sadly, I said it in very vulgar way. It was few days ago and I still feel guilty about my behaviour. But, not seeing results, that's what has me always kicking myself so hard. Maybe my Zerg friend is right and I am really just nasty to myself, unable to see any progress? Do I just see the negative stuff, being blind to the improvement in the end? I do not know, really. Not at this point.
Some game-based conclusions
It seems that my critical problem, which loses me the games at this point is wrong scouting. I don't scout enough. It's been my recurring problem as long as I've started this little journey of mine. My scouting is simply not enough. Not only I don't scout across the game, but I'm not able to use the informations I scout too well. Ie, when someone builds this and that I still don't know what might be coming. I don't use the information even if I have it. Ie, I had a PvZ and I saw they had quite some Mutas. It was pretty good assumption they'd go mass Muta. and instead of me going and squashing them to not allow them that... what did I do? I waited. Waited. Waited. Got killed. I tend to forget my scout as the game goes, so that pretty observer howering above my opponent's base is just good for nothing. I'm way too focused on doing other stuff, so I just forget.
Of course, the other areas which need improvement is still my macro, although, I seem to outmacro most of my opponents I face on my level. I don't dare to say I'm any good at that, in fact, I have no idea, so let's that slide. Funnily enough, I manage to get supply-blocked always on 26th supply...like nearly every game. Facepalm. That really needs to go, because such early screw up can literally cost me the game.
PvT - It seems I also will have to focus on this match up for a bit. I'm not sure if I lose to T's due to wrong army composition or just using my own forces in wrong way, thus having more losses than I should.
Funny moment
![[image loading]](http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs013.snc6/166314_10150108246706419_722731418_7414300_3829464_n.jpg)
(No, you are not drunk. There are really two Cyber Cores. That's what happens then I play SC2 after serious lack of sleep... lol.)
Shoutout to
Giving huge props to Jason 'Loophole' for spending hell a lot, lot of time with me, despite of me being such difficult case. I truly hope to not waste your time, man.
Also props to my Zerg friend 'Noobert' for putting up with my attitude, I know he won't read this, but I really feel bad for what I said to you, hun.
Can't forget one shoutout to Geoff 'iNcontroL' as well; watching his games is an inspiration, having him coach me is simply awesomeness. If I could have Christmas wish granted, it'd be more hours with him...
Also, to all TL'ers - Merry Christmas, peaceful holidays and many, many happy days in the upcoming year, be it in your personal lives or on the grand battlefield which is called StarCraft 2!
PS: Haven't touched SC2 last two days...blaming too much food, alcohol and time with family. :-) If I'm lucky, I'll get back to SC2'ing on Monday. Sheesh, how much I hate breaks!
