EPTFailed At life, need some advice - Page 2
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GrayArea
United States872 Posts
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maybenexttime
Poland5700 Posts
On December 11 2010 05:47 Frack wrote:During that year its imperative you shift the focus OFF of your own problems and ONTO someone elses, volunteer, join programmes and give your time to others, stop being so self absorbed and get an insight into the lives of people who dont have the options you have and likely never will THIS. This is exactly what I did after my life fell apart. It wasn't as bad as your situation, but I, too, was on a verge of suicide and decided against commiting it for pretty much the same reasons as you. What Frack advised you to do really does give you a new perspective. It makes you appreciate your life, even though you may have thought you were in a shithole. Here's a great book that might give you a whole new perspective on life. Probably the most influential book I've read in my life. It teaches you that you can get out of the most fucked up situation/place. In case of tha author it was the gulag, which, trust me, is FAR worse than anything you or I have been through. http://www.amazon.com/World-Apart-Penguin-Modern-Classics/dp/0141187956 I wish you best of luck, 00Zarathustra. I hope you eventually manage to pull yourself together. | ||
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JQL
United States214 Posts
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Firereaver
India1701 Posts
On December 11 2010 06:30 OpRaider wrote: Holy shit you're a huge pessimist. Most people enjoy saving and repairing people's lives, that's why they become doctors...Not many people would become doctors ifall their patients died..... Yes, death is part of reality , especially for doctors, and yes some might enjoy easing people's suffering, but doctors don't just make death more comfortable.... You wouldn't need tons of med school for that... Wow. SO much ignorance. Why do you assume you know how it feels to see people dying everyday of your professional lives. Let me assure you that unless you become a realist and harden yourself a little as a doctor, a mental breakdown is ALWAYS incumbent. Optimists have very short professional spans in the medical field. No need to be pessimistic either. Just keep shit real. + Show Spoiler + On December 11 2010 06:32 Emon_ wrote: It's never to late to pick yourself up, get the pieces in your life together and try again. Once you grow up you realize there are A LOT of people that really haven't done a lot with their life. They're like 21 even though they are close to 50. Old car, live in a rental apartment, never really have any money, counting out the days. Even though they are at that place, they can still make an effort and strive to make life a little better for themselves and the people around them. At least they won't be like the other losers in their 50s who aren't going anywhere. You sound like you're a pretty decent guy who is just unsure of what to do next. Thats an OK place to be. Beating yourself up over your past is something you'll have to come to terms with and take responsibility for. If you finish med school, even a couple of years later then usual, you're still more educated and better payed then the majority. Wanna do something for your mother? Pick yourself the up and hit the books in the library 12hrs a day. Just read and make notes about anything in your medicine program. I'm sure you can find out whats expected of you online and just sit there and read it. When you're done with your current assignment, read future ones. Show your mother that you aren't bad by taking your studies seriously. After your first week of going 12h a day you'll feel like a man that just got out of prison. Some more excellent advice and insights here... | ||
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rei
United States3594 Posts
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MrBitter
United States2940 Posts
Aside from that, don't fret the small stuff. 30 is still young as fuck. I'm 25 and still an undergrad. Talk about being a bum. I play SC2 all day and maybe take 2 classes each semester. I'll finish some day. =\ Seriously, keep your chin up and your nose down. If you're serious about wanting to succeed, you will. If you're not. Well... Just get serious. | ||
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AppleTart
United States1261 Posts
The OP isn't in trouble because he doesn't want to become a doctor or hates his studies, it's just he has gotten involved in activities which are just... not good REGARDLESS of what he is going for. He could be in culinary school for all we know and still get screwed the same way. Lawschool, gradschool, whatever same deal. And don't go telling me oh if you found what you loved you would stay away from the other stuff. These habits are not simply eliminated by going that path, and the OP clearly WANTS to become a doctor. He even said it was easy so clearly hes not struggling with the actual work. Anyhow OP, I would say consult a specialist, because they can give you better advice and at least have some knowledge in how to deal with these addictions. As for me, I would just say I'm really glad you realize your faults, the next step is the hardest, take action to correct them. There are many things you can do to help you do that next step, but a specialist can help you more. | ||
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Ramiel
United States1220 Posts
Go and speak with your family and get there advice, they will generally help you. Basically you need to take responsibility, and have the integrity to turn your life around. Don't listen to these bs people telling you they are sorry. I am not sorry for you, you don't need my sympathy. What you need is a fucking priority check. Ohh and a bit of work ethic. You clearly don't give two shits about yourself, your education or your family. I can tell because you talk about getting 51% to pass (which you can't even do for the 4th time, which is un excusable) and how you are squandering your money, and more importantly your families money. GROW SOME BALLS AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE. YOU NEED TO GET HELP, YOU NEED TO HAVE COURAGE! you need to turn yourself around. Speak with your family, and get your priorities right- get yourself help, but don't you ever forget for one second that you are not 100% responsible for everything. maybe that will be the swift kick you need. | ||
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Slugbreath
Sweden201 Posts
That said, the first thing I'd recommend is staying clear off of drugs. Not only because they have don't exactly help you with your studies, but also because they are dangerous things that should not be underestimated! Secondly, I'd suggest putting up a schedule for studying. For instance, 8 in the morning to 5 in the afternoon you'll do nothing but study. Go to the university and sit in some boring and quiet place of it where there is nothing to distract you. (That's the only way I can get any studies done. I can't study at home; I just end up checking my email stuff like that.) At first it might be hard to force yourself to concentrate and study on fixed hours, but just hang in there. Even if you want to give up and go home, just force yourself to stay until it's time to head home. Over time you'll get used to studying those hours and you'll get into the routine of studying. Also, by studying those fixed times you'll have the evenings free to hang out with friends, write a novel or do whatever without having to think that you "should be studying now". Thirdly, remember that the teachers are there for your sake, you are not there for their sake. They get payed even if you pass or fail so you have nothing to be ashamed of. Basically, what my advice is is to hang in there and get your life organized. By having a routine in your life that 1) doesn't include drugs and 2) includes studies, you'll probably be much better off. And finally, remember that you have admitted that you have a problem. That's the first step to finding a solution! | ||
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polgas
Canada1764 Posts
I hear good things about Alcoholics Anonymous. They can help you deal with addiction. | ||
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guN-viCe
United States687 Posts
its the most boring advice, but probably the most valuable in this thread. as an up and coming doctor, you should already have memorized the effects of diet and exercise on depression, anxiety, and drug addictions, etc. | ||
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HaFnium
United Kingdom1074 Posts
30 is not a really old age for a doctor, many people first did a science degree and then went to do a medical degree. And more importantly you have realised the problem and wanted to change. I suggest you to keep yourself busy so you won't have time to try those addictions. You can study a lot or even better, try to volunteer or work. You may try to volunteer in hospitals to make up for your time loss whilst you weren't studying. You mentioned some of interests (volleyball, music, writing a book). Maybe you can try to pick them up when you have free time. Set targets of yourself, writing a book might be too much so maybe you can start by writing blogs (I quite like your writing style actually). Same with music or even studying, you gradually put your life on track. | ||
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NIIINO
Slovakia1320 Posts
1. Find a job (MCdonnald is great place to start, than find a job in restaurant. or try to sell clothes in shop and after some time became manager of it.) 2. quit a school or find easy one 3. work work work work work work work help your family 4. became independent 5. welcome back in life 6. have fun | ||
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judochopaction
United States533 Posts
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HowitZer
United States1610 Posts
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ProjectVirtue
Canada360 Posts
Just remember what you're trying to do, and see what you need to get there. Like you said, that curriculum is probably easier than you think, and having repeated it for the fourth time, i'm sure your memory retains a lot of the information without having to study it again. That being said, just lay off the externalities for a while, focus on your school work for a bit and you'll be moving onto the next year soon enough. I'm sure once you do that, you'll gain another confidence boost and be adjusted to the lifestyle needed to succeed in the medical field :D | ||
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Rev0lution
United States1805 Posts
Given that you are from Bolivia and spend so much money on frivolous shit, I assume you are upper middle class kid. On a country where half the population is poor and starving you are quite privileged and deserve no pity whatsoever. Really, best advice I can give you is don't look for advice on this forum go talk to a psychiatrist or a family member. | ||
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gokai
United States812 Posts
I just want to say I'm not depressed right now, but I could be any day. And so my advice is to worry less when you feel like shit. And know that it's okay to be messed up in the head. I know, cause I am. I always feel so ashame and akward with other people. But it'll be fine if you don't let it get to you. And that's the first thing I do to start improving my life. Just let it all go. Pretend all your worries are someone's else. You're negative thoughts are just there. They're not really you. That's how I stabalize myself. Even if I feel like shit, I find a way to be fine with it. Then I would start working on my life. One thing at a time. I try not to makes things complicated. I think of the big picture. What's important in life? What's my goal? Well, I believe in being truthful to myself and others. And being a loving person. And trying my best and not worrying about results. If I keep those principles in mind, I don't have to worry about the small things. When you're okay with feeling like a failure and feeling like shit. You should go do some chores to clear up your head. Use the computer less. It'll suck all your energy man. Work on something to keep you busy. Do things here and there. I really feel you though. I hope you feel better soon. | ||
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