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Blogs > Smix
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Smix *
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States4549 Posts
November 05 2010 13:45 GMT
#1
He was the headstrong guy no one could defeat in any normal argument. He was that guy that could turn the tide of any debate into his favor even when raw facts and logic said he was wrong. He was the guy people wanted to please because the mere act of making him smile or laugh made them feel so accomplished, like they were worth something.

Sitting inside the cafe, she watched him with curious eyes as he talked about himself, shedding that invincible persona for the first time. The moment felt so precious and unreal she was scared to say anything should it break the fragility of the moment.

She didn't even know how the conversation had steered this way - one minute they were talking about the cafe and how it was bustling with people, mostly couples who had ordered pastries and drinks as a pretense to spend more seconds with each other... he had just been making fun of the couple to their left, scoffing at the ridiculous argument they were having - something about how cheesy their teasing was because they clearly meant none of it; it was all just another way to evoke a response out of one another, trying to push the other person to resign... the old game of push-and-pull.

And now he was talking, really talking. He felt like he viewed the world differently from everyone else. The way his mind churned was so calculating that the moment he looked at any place, any person, he made an automatic evaluation. The prices of items on the menu, the interior design of the cafe; did they make a worthwhile profit? The outfit of the girl who walked in - a poor attempt at looking classy, poor because her heels were clearly killing her and her bag wasn't the right brand - not by any means a cheap brand, but not of a standard that really boasted of the wealth she was trying to pull off.

And this was just the start. His mind never shut down - he exhaustively thought through every everything - where was his life going to go next? The job he had landed come September had been far from his first choice, nor was the pay nearly high enough to make it seem worthwhile. The girl he loved, he had ultimately rejected because how could he possibly take care of someone else, shower someone else with the adoration they deserved when his own problems seemed insurmountable? How was he supposed to be the head of the family now that their father was out of the picture when he couldn't even figure out his own life? How was he supposed to calm his mother and coax her into depending on him when he wasn't even sure he wanted her to?

Insomnia. Antidepressants in secret. Tunneling into his own room and shutting down for days at a time when things became too overwhelming. Alcohol, cigarettes, occasional flings to feel alive again once the hibernation became too much.

This was how he had lived. This was the naked truth - he was not okay. He was not confident. He was feeling anything but strong.

"I can't do it"

And she looked at her brother for the first time, feeling everything he had just expressed, the anxiety, frustration, loneliness... and she wanted to ask him why it had taken so long for him to tell her this, because she had wanted nothing more than this - to have him lean on her, to drop the all-knowing, protective act just for a second and be vulnerable.

And she said the only thing she could think of. They were but four words that would solve nothing and leave the problems as large as they were before, but she was hoping it would convey the fact that despite everything, she cared, she loved him, she was listening, and she was willing to do so again whenever.

Because no one should do it alone - no one should ever have to face it alone.

*****
TranslatorBe an Optimist Prime, Not a Negatron // twitter @smixity
limonovich
Profile Joined September 2010
England226 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-05 15:49:11
November 05 2010 13:51 GMT
#2
Mod edit: bad 4chan meme removed

User was warned for this post

The meme isn't bad, you just have no sense of humour.

Mod edit: Best get used to it.
trololo
KinosJourney2
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Sweden1811 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-05 14:14:36
November 05 2010 13:57 GMT
#3
On November 05 2010 22:51 limonovich wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +


Hahahahahahahahaha!
ocho wrote: EDIT: NEVERMIND, THIS THING HAS APM TECHNOLOGY OMG
Horrde
Profile Joined March 2010
Canada302 Posts
November 05 2010 14:03 GMT
#4
I guess not so headstrong after all. Good read I'd say. I'll link this to my younger sister, she loves all those Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul cry stories. Did you write this yourself? Is this about you?
Smix *
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States4549 Posts
November 05 2010 14:10 GMT
#5
@horrde - haha chicken soup for the teenage soul... i remember reading those way back. i'm flattered you'd show this to your sister haha. i just really missed my brother/started thinking about him so i wrote this.
TranslatorBe an Optimist Prime, Not a Negatron // twitter @smixity
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
November 05 2010 14:15 GMT
#6
This is beautiful, Smix. I actually teared up while reading this... I don't know why I did, since I almost never cry while reading stories, but something about this struck a chord. Well done!
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
Zlasher
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States9129 Posts
November 05 2010 14:30 GMT
#7
Beautiful story

Don't know if I have any more to say than that. Makes me think of my own two siblings that I see for maybe 3-4 weeks of the year.
Follow me: www.twitter.com/zlasher
shinwa
Profile Joined April 2010
Sweden225 Posts
November 05 2010 14:31 GMT
#8
Incredibly well written
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
November 05 2010 14:38 GMT
#9
On November 05 2010 22:51 limonovich wrote:
Mod edit: bad 4chan meme removed

User was warned for this post

The meme isn't bad, you just have no sense of humour.


I don't mean to backseat mod but please don't talk like that to a mod. You might want to edit that out before you get banned, mate.
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
StarN
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States2587 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-05 14:51:38
November 05 2010 14:51 GMT
#10
On November 05 2010 22:51 limonovich wrote:
Mod edit: bad 4chan meme removed

User was warned for this post

The meme isn't bad, you just have no sense of humour.

lol at the mod edit. lolx2 at the mod edit EDIT!

edit: 2500 posts :D
Retired BW Noob
snowdrift
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
France2061 Posts
November 05 2010 15:16 GMT
#11
That was a very moving story Smix. Your brother is lucky to have you!
NaDa. Our Lord and sAviOr shall return. Learn to nydus you scrub
shannn
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Netherlands2891 Posts
November 05 2010 16:07 GMT
#12
I don't feel the same for my brother as the little sister did in the story (OP?)
But when I read this story I'm like what if it really happened (the dad part) to me and my brother has to take care of all and what about all other things etc

Very touching story when you read it and think if it happens to you.
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewpost.php?post_id=6321864 Epic post.
NearPerfection
Profile Joined October 2010
232 Posts
November 05 2010 16:16 GMT
#13
Not fair when its out of your control.
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