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A short story I wrote (who is more like a resume)

Blogs > Zhek
Post a Reply
Zhek
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada342 Posts
August 24 2010 18:27 GMT
#1
So I wrote a, what I find at least, bitchin' short. I guess it's a short, though more of a resume of a long, long story I'd love to write about more. It doesn't explain must, I know that. Lot of information, or terms, will leave you wondering what the hell it is, though you can guess as much as you want! :D Feedback, criticizes about my awesome English language mastery is welcomed. Though I also would like criticizes about the story itself ;p.

+ Show Spoiler +
We called them the Unbirthers. A weird name, I agree. They take life and make it... Different. Paralyzing the mind, corrupting it to its will. Truly, they were unstoppable. Who can win against an army who grew stronger as it fought? We were sent to the seas, our flying city-ships only hovering over the oceans. The Unbirthers almost followed us. Luckily enough, we were able to destroy the single city-ship they overran and possessed.

From what I know, a traitor helped them. One of the Primal Races, too, though the fault was ours as well. I will not hide that it was my brother who betrayed all the city-ships. Unwanted genetic mutations were often discarded if they strayed from the path of our people.

We should've been preventive. He fled, reaching for the infested mainland, claiming he would win back our land. For the people who shun him away, wanting to kill him for what he was? I've come to realize it was only to prove himself. Sadly, he too was corrupted by the Unbirthers. I barely recognized him, to be honest. They made him one of their best, the leader of their invasion forces agains the city-ships.

For years, we roamed the ocean as the last city-ship, mostly patrolling the oceans to make sure they would not reach the Human lands. Why did we do it? Even now, I find it childish, yet obvious. We needed a purpose. We prided ourselves in being the planet's life-defenders, the grestest of sentient life as we fought the Unbirthers.

Our city fell as I had finally "Ascended", I guess is the best way to put it to you. We came to name ourselves after our ship the Atlantis, the Last City. Ever so the proudful race, I am the sole survivor of us Atlantians, sent to the human lands to teach them how to fight the Unbirthers. As if I could make all the difference. In a way, I guess it was true.

But still childish. Humans fought the Unbirthers since their making, as I discovered. They called them the Undeads. The most surprising fact was that they were immune to the mind-twisting, corrupting agents of the Unbirthers. They were coverted, yes, but only in mindless husks, crawling slowly with unending hunger. How ironic that the race we tried to defend with our most honest efforts were the ones who knew how to defeat them.

Why they were not affected came as a great question to me. When I first landed on the beach of a fairly small kingdom, I was surprised to be healed by Sciencecraft. Well, you humans call it Magic. It is merely science, though a hard one to harnest and even more to discover. Myself knew only a few ways to use it, but never has I seen it used to heal injuries. It made me question myself, what I knew of you humans. Described as primitive, and I must agree on this as you still lived in stone castles and houses, you found ways to adapt and improve everything you touched.

A race a bit too clever for its own good, I must say. As I convinced you of the incoming threat of Unbirthers, as I traveled between the kingdoms over your lands, reactions were very different. As much of a cult toward Sciencecraft you had, an even similar one was toward the Unbirthers. A handful of nations even sacrificed themselves to them, letting them use their corpses as cannon-fodder, their greatest generals as Commanders of Filth.

With you, I have learned more about Sciencecraft that I would have ever learned if I had lived a thousands lives aboard Atlantis. I thought you of Sciencecraft, its source and it's basics, things you had naturally. You even took the blame against the genocide of the Primal races. One of each races could not be corrupted, had to remain untainted. Otherwise, the whole race would fall into madness. That would explain how the Fifth suddenly dissapeared, leaving only the top of their mountains unflooded.

You killed the three prisonners, one who offered gratitude, the others contempt to be kept alived and well, so that the Unbirthers would have no army left. And yet, you left me alive. Me, the uncorrupted of the strongest Primal race. Out of respect or out of fear of resistance, you let me live. Yet you understand my dilema, my... Destiny, as you call it.

Those are my final words, written in human so that it may one day be retrieved and learned. With me, I take the Unbirthers. With me, I take Sciencecraft. Your race, as beautiful as it is, is also filled with evil. A true balance, waiting only to be tilted by your life's actions. I cannot leave Sciencecraft to you, for you will destroy yourselves.

As this statue that my body now is, my armor hangs, my weapons wait. I fear for you humans. Hopefully, in your darkest hour, in your most corrupted of ages, one will find me. One will wield my legend.

One will cleanse you again.


Pyrrhuloxia
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States6700 Posts
August 24 2010 18:38 GMT
#2
Meh. It's just Warcraft in science.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
August 24 2010 19:02 GMT
#3
On August 25 2010 03:27 Zhek wrote:
Ever so the proudful race, I am the sole survivor of us Atlantians, sent to the human lands to teach them how to fight the Unbirthers. As if I could make all the difference. In a way, I guess it was true.


I really had to stop reading here; you need to be a little more careful not to get carried away as your write, I think. Always read over things to make sure that each word is a real word, etc.
Moderator@SirJolt
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