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Quick girl question

Blogs > bloopie
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bloopie
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States123 Posts
May 09 2010 22:17 GMT
#1
Alright I just broke up with my girl, and shes with another dude right now 3 weeks after we broke up. She was good "friends" with this dude while we were together, and i could never find evidence if she was really cheating behind my back. Needless to say, it was not a amicable split.

Anyhow to the question: Of late, she keeps trying to invite me to dinner/supper or shit like that. Should i a) reject politely b) reject violently or c) accept? I dont wanna get into the friendzone or let her think she can walk all over me - anyone with experience please help! thanks!

**
FXOTheoRy
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States519 Posts
May 09 2010 22:18 GMT
#2
If you're wanting to stay out of the friendzone, I'd suggest A) reject politely.
oyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy
illu
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2531 Posts
May 09 2010 22:19 GMT
#3
Obviously reject politely. You don't want to do b) or c) then get punched by that dude. :D
:]
OPSavioR
Profile Joined March 2010
Sweden1465 Posts
May 09 2010 22:19 GMT
#4
Get an escort and visit her "dinner" and make her shit jealous
i dunno lol
bloopie
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States123 Posts
May 09 2010 22:21 GMT
#5
On May 10 2010 07:19 OPSavioR wrote:
Get an escort and visit her "dinner" and make her shit jealous

i'm liking this, haha. nothing else like seeing a bitch green with envy =]
Reason
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United Kingdom2770 Posts
May 09 2010 22:22 GMT
#6
Do you want to get back with her?
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
Mullet_Power
Profile Joined December 2008
Canada64 Posts
May 09 2010 22:23 GMT
#7
For the first half of your post, just forget about it, it's over. Finding that kind of info out will not change or help anything.

As for your second question, why would you reject "violently"? What does that help? You would just cause yourself unneeded drama. If you want to be friends accept, if not just say no.

Personally I find there is enough other people in this world that will go out of their way to make your life more stressful/difficult, so there is no point in doing the same to yourself.
Reason
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United Kingdom2770 Posts
May 09 2010 22:23 GMT
#8
Maybe she's with the other guy to make you jealous or just to keep her busy and is asking you to dinner because she really wants you back...

Worst you can do is go to dinner and be like fine I came to dinner what do you want... if she says come back say yes or no whatever you want... if she says let's be friends say no....
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
bloopie
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States123 Posts
May 09 2010 22:24 GMT
#9
well the long story is me, this girl and this dude are in a bunch of close friends, with other people. Its awkward as it is, and well shes got photos of him and her splashed across the facebook profiles like nobody's business.

It would seem like a douche thing to do anyway.
bloopie
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States123 Posts
May 09 2010 22:30 GMT
#10
I guess the question now is: is it worth going back for her?
Reason
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United Kingdom2770 Posts
May 09 2010 22:36 GMT
#11
Don't be a bitch. Who cares if she has photos splashed around facebook? If you get back with her they will disappear instantly and be replaced with your stupid grin...
If you want her back, yes it's worth going back...
If you don't, it's not..

We can't tell you what you want man! If you want her go get her you had her before you can get her again
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
Sonnet
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Ireland39 Posts
May 09 2010 22:41 GMT
#12
I shall advise you as my father would,
And wisely suggest you take option C,
For should you accept you very well could,
Take your revenge most elegantly

Bear with me know as I recommend,
A plan for which you must be resolute,
Go under guise of making amends,
But bring with you a fine prostitute

Sit through dinner like a man of high bearing,
But as you wait for desert, start getting heavy,
Try too to tear the clothes that she's wearing,
Your ex will feel stress, and I'm betting envy

But for dessert wait, in case timing's poor,
Pull it too early and she'll know she's a whore
The greatest burden a man must bear is choosing being understood over metrical footing :(
frozenclaw
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Canada410 Posts
May 09 2010 22:41 GMT
#13
If you want her back, say no and re-schedule.
Reason
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United Kingdom2770 Posts
May 09 2010 22:43 GMT
#14
Why do sonnets kill topics?

Frozenclaw give some explanation as to why cancelling and re-scheduling ?
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
decafchicken
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States20168 Posts
May 09 2010 22:44 GMT
#15
Reject or accept and ask if you can bring a date.

Speaking of which i broke up with my gf like a month ago and havent talked to her...is that normal?
how reasonable is it to eat off wood instead of your tummy?
bloopie
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States123 Posts
May 09 2010 22:45 GMT
#16
yea thats normal. i havent talked (voluntarily) to my ex-gf for 2months already.
frozenclaw
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Canada410 Posts
May 09 2010 22:50 GMT
#17
On May 10 2010 07:43 Reason wrote:
Why do sonnets kill topics?

Frozenclaw give some explanation as to why cancelling and re-scheduling ?

Just to gauge what her intentions are and where she's at. I think that you could also use it as a power play so she understands that you're not going to give easy compliance, especially just after 3 weeks. I don't think it's useful to sound like you took a big hit to your life and that you NEED her back.
Lightwip
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States5497 Posts
May 09 2010 22:58 GMT
#18
I would, just to figure out what she wants.
If you are not Bisu, chances are I hate you.
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-09 23:04:49
May 09 2010 23:03 GMT
#19
girls often do things like this in an attempt to make you jealous after the relationship ends how they didn't want it to

i had a girl that i was seeing but always was very honest w/ her and told her shes not my gf. obviously she wanted a real relationship but it wasn't going to happen. finally i cut things off for good but we were still on talking terms even tho she was def mad at me.

not so long ago she logged on msn telling me all about her new BF and how amazing he is in a pathetic attempt to get some 'revenge'

i typed 'lol' and blocked her. then she tried facebooking me. blocked there too. then she emailed me. no reply.

i would reject her, not politely or rudely, just straight up and if she tries to ask why just ignore her.

and if you really want to have fun, go there then tell her infront of her bf that you just tested positive for genital herpes and that she should go get checked out. for added effect throw in a 'but i have slept with 3 girls after we broke up so it might not be you...but anyways better to get tested to be sure'
why so 진지해?
GeMicles
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada307 Posts
May 09 2010 23:18 GMT
#20
excuse me for being a jackass, but why on TL?
i pikachu in the shower
Lightswarm
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada967 Posts
May 09 2010 23:20 GMT
#21
excuse me for being a jackass, but why NOT on TL?
Team[AoV]
FlopTurnReaver
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Switzerland1980 Posts
May 09 2010 23:22 GMT
#22
My ex-gf had a new guy 1 week after she broke up. It was a guy from my town I didn't even have an idea she knew him. After some talking and stuff i decided to ignore her

Dumb thing is just that she's in the same band as I am :s
Check out @MapOfTheMonth on Twitter and under http://bit.ly/motmorg
Slaughter
Profile Blog Joined November 2003
United States20255 Posts
May 09 2010 23:25 GMT
#23
Women are fickle and retarded, not worth it.
Never Knows Best.
bloopie
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States123 Posts
May 09 2010 23:28 GMT
#24
On May 10 2010 08:18 GeMicles wrote:
excuse me for being a jackass, but why on TL?


In case you havent noticed, TL isnt made up of just nerds.
<3 TL.
Lightswarm
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada967 Posts
May 09 2010 23:33 GMT
#25
lol wat u talking about. TL is made up of nerds who have lives. NERDPOWER!!
Team[AoV]
lowbright
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
308 Posts
May 09 2010 23:34 GMT
#26
reject politely and dont bother with her ever again
TeamLiquid CJ Entusman #49
Squeegy
Profile Joined October 2009
Finland1166 Posts
May 09 2010 23:41 GMT
#27
On May 10 2010 08:03 Rekrul wrote:
girls often do things like this in an attempt to make you jealous after the relationship ends how they didn't want it to

i had a girl that i was seeing but always was very honest w/ her and told her shes not my gf. obviously she wanted a real relationship but it wasn't going to happen. finally i cut things off for good but we were still on talking terms even tho she was def mad at me.

not so long ago she logged on msn telling me all about her new BF and how amazing he is in a pathetic attempt to get some 'revenge'

i typed 'lol' and blocked her. then she tried facebooking me. blocked there too. then she emailed me. no reply.


i would reject her, not politely or rudely, just straight up and if she tries to ask why just ignore her.

and if you really want to have fun, go there then tell her infront of her bf that you just tested positive for genital herpes and that she should go get checked out. for added effect throw in a 'but i have slept with 3 girls after we broke up so it might not be you...but anyways better to get tested to be sure'


There is something so hilariously awesome in this.

But yeah, you don't want to cause a scene. You're supposed to not give a shit, so don't, and act accordingly.
Stan: Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly. Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.
vanskater
Profile Joined March 2010
United States146 Posts
May 10 2010 00:36 GMT
#28
tell her you want to stick it in her butt, if the WAPCE rejects, she wont talk to you, if she accepts well then you get to IDP. so its win, win.
meteorskunk
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada546 Posts
May 10 2010 01:24 GMT
#29
Maybe she's actually just trying to be nice. Like.. is she paying for dinner? I'd probably go for some dinner and if that dudes there just treat him like a normal dude and maybe even turn it into to a bro fest? Being nice is the best way! She will see your maturity and ability to cope with pain, and you'll be able to enjoy yourself more if you're not looking for things to be jealous over.

If she has malicious intentions and you're there to have a good time, she's gonna be the one who ends up looking like a turd.

I think we could end this whole secret meaning game girls play if we just stopped trying to read into these things.
Girl Blog Credentials: Comfortable talking to some women. Tried the sex once
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
May 10 2010 01:33 GMT
#30
On May 10 2010 10:24 meteorskunk wrote:
Maybe she's actually just trying to be nice. Like.. is she paying for dinner? I'd probably go for some dinner and if that dudes there just treat him like a normal dude and maybe even turn it into to a bro fest? Being nice is the best way! She will see your maturity and ability to cope with pain, and you'll be able to enjoy yourself more if you're not looking for things to be jealous over.

If she has malicious intentions and you're there to have a good time, she's gonna be the one who ends up looking like a turd.

I think we could end this whole secret meaning game girls play if we just stopped trying to read into these things.


You're very right, but it's going to be hard for him to do that considering how emotionally invested he appears to be in this girl.
why so 진지해?
meteorskunk
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada546 Posts
May 10 2010 01:41 GMT
#31
On May 10 2010 10:33 Rekrul wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 10 2010 10:24 meteorskunk wrote:
Maybe she's actually just trying to be nice. Like.. is she paying for dinner? I'd probably go for some dinner and if that dudes there just treat him like a normal dude and maybe even turn it into to a bro fest? Being nice is the best way! She will see your maturity and ability to cope with pain, and you'll be able to enjoy yourself more if you're not looking for things to be jealous over.

If she has malicious intentions and you're there to have a good time, she's gonna be the one who ends up looking like a turd.

I think we could end this whole secret meaning game girls play if we just stopped trying to read into these things.


You're very right, but it's going to be hard for him to do that considering how emotionally invested he appears to be in this girl.


Yeah, you forget how hard it is I guess.

The same thing happened to me, now that I reflect. I went crazy for a girl from my circle of friends and we dated and it ended and was emotionally taxing. She was like one of those who was in the bloom, and i got to her before she knew she was completely hot type of thing.

I thought I was like all cool and stuff, and then like 2 weeks later she has some new dude and is bringing him to all the gatherings and stuff, and everyone loved him but ofc i hated him. It was really painful to feel like so disposable.

Then I just talked to the guy, and it got better from there. (point of the story is basically that I know how much it sucks)
Girl Blog Credentials: Comfortable talking to some women. Tried the sex once
nayumi
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Australia6499 Posts
May 10 2010 01:46 GMT
#32
Reject politely. Make up excuses such as "I'm kinda busy that night" but you don't have to give a specific reason, just to basically tell her that she's no longer that important and you have other things to attend to.

P.S: I'm assuming that you're not comfortable with meeting her, but if you are, just go ahead and do it.

And by the way, she might not be cheating on you as you might have thought. A lot of girls I know are somewhat similar to yours. Quickly after her relationship with a guy ends, she starts a new one with her "used-to-be" close friend. Most of the time, it's because during the difficult period she was talking to the other guy a lot and he seemed to do well understanding and comforting her. Slowly he became someone for her to rely on and from there things progressed relatively fast. From the cover it might look like she's a total bitch and has been cheating behind your back. Thought it might not necessary be the case.


gl hf
Sugoi monogatari onii-chan!
GoShox
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States1845 Posts
May 10 2010 02:06 GMT
#33
On May 10 2010 08:18 GeMicles wrote:
excuse me for being a jackass, but why on TL?


What's wrong with posting stuff about girls here?

I've actually seen (and received of course) some very, very useful advice here. And any post by Rekrul is worth reading
IaniAniaN
Profile Joined September 2007
Canada555 Posts
May 10 2010 03:03 GMT
#34
On May 10 2010 10:33 Rekrul wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 10 2010 10:24 meteorskunk wrote:
Maybe she's actually just trying to be nice. Like.. is she paying for dinner? I'd probably go for some dinner and if that dudes there just treat him like a normal dude and maybe even turn it into to a bro fest? Being nice is the best way! She will see your maturity and ability to cope with pain, and you'll be able to enjoy yourself more if you're not looking for things to be jealous over.

If she has malicious intentions and you're there to have a good time, she's gonna be the one who ends up looking like a turd.

I think we could end this whole secret meaning game girls play if we just stopped trying to read into these things.


You're very right, but it's going to be hard for him to do that considering how emotionally invested he appears to be in this girl.

Yeah, I mean its only been 3 weeks. Give yourself longer, if you think it's done then let it be done.
Hypnosis
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States2061 Posts
May 10 2010 03:53 GMT
#35
On May 10 2010 08:03 Rekrul wrote:
girls often do things like this in an attempt to make you jealous after the relationship ends how they didn't want it to

i had a girl that i was seeing but always was very honest w/ her and told her shes not my gf. obviously she wanted a real relationship but it wasn't going to happen. finally i cut things off for good but we were still on talking terms even tho she was def mad at me.

not so long ago she logged on msn telling me all about her new BF and how amazing he is in a pathetic attempt to get some 'revenge'

i typed 'lol' and blocked her. then she tried facebooking me. blocked there too. then she emailed me. no reply.

i would reject her, not politely or rudely, just straight up and if she tries to ask why just ignore her.

and if you really want to have fun, go there then tell her infront of her bf that you just tested positive for genital herpes and that she should go get checked out. for added effect throw in a 'but i have slept with 3 girls after we broke up so it might not be you...but anyways better to get tested to be sure'



yep

ignore her
Science without religion is lame, Religion without science is blind
tonight
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
United States11130 Posts
May 10 2010 04:01 GMT
#36
Say, no thanks and then after she asks why, and she will, just don't respond.
if I come without a thing, then I come with all I need @tonightsend
Rev0lution
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States1805 Posts
May 10 2010 04:08 GMT
#37
Either she's trying to make you think about her in order so that you are "bound" to her. That way she controls your shit, or she wants to have you as a fuckbuddy.

Who the hell knows dude, your not bieng very specific here. Dinner is dinner or dinner + dessert if you know what I mean...
My dealer is my best friend, and we don't even chill.
zZygote
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Canada898 Posts
May 10 2010 04:27 GMT
#38
Maybe she wants to be your FB.

I think you should accept politely and let her make the moves
[NyC]HoBbes
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States803 Posts
May 10 2010 04:41 GMT
#39
Reject politely, then ignore her for a few days, then counteroffer to meet for dinner or drinks on YOUR terms.

This accomplishes a bunch of things.

1)- it shows her that you're not a pushover, and that she's going to have to actually try if she wants to have any sort of relationship with you, whether it be friendship or romantic

2)-shows that you still have some kind of interest, but not too much

3)-shows you are mature enough to handle a bad breakup

4)-shows that she's not succeeding if she's trying to make you jealous
Where'er you walk cool gales shall fan the glade
Slurgi
Profile Joined March 2010
United States118 Posts
May 10 2010 05:09 GMT
#40
On May 10 2010 07:41 Sonnet wrote:
I shall advise you as my father would,
And wisely suggest you take option C,
For should you accept you very well could,
Take your revenge most elegantly

Bear with me know as I recommend,
A plan for which you must be resolute,
Go under guise of making amends,
But bring with you a fine prostitute

Sit through dinner like a man of high bearing,
But as you wait for desert, start getting heavy,
Try too to tear the clothes that she's wearing,
Your ex will feel stress, and I'm betting envy

But for dessert wait, in case timing's poor,
Pull it too early and she'll know she's a whore


I give this reply 5 stars.

Option C.
VampireLady
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Netherlands283 Posts
May 10 2010 06:09 GMT
#41
It depends on how your state of mind is.. Are you still hurt she left you? Did you get over that very same fact? Are you willing to be friends with her?

Personally, id go for A.. just becuz i had an experience where my ex bf left me all of a sudden .. i was shocked and totally distraught.. All he could say was " we can still be friends "
I didnt reply but what was going through my mind was this

" Friends!? the guy i loved who left me .. didnt call or txt me or talked to me ever since.. and u wanna be friends?.. while i still miss you long for those days back when we were together.. how could he think that?!"
I decided to avoid contact of any sort and im trying to get over him.. but i still caught myself trying to get to know what he is up to or hoping in vain that he is still going to call me.

So if you're like me.. and u cant put ur ex in a friendzone.. just forget about her.. get her totally out of your life and begin with a fresh new start..


good luck
Eat me
MaReK
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Australia446 Posts
May 10 2010 06:31 GMT
#42
On May 10 2010 07:44 decafchicken wrote:
Reject or accept and ask if you can bring a date.

Speaking of which i broke up with my gf like a month ago and havent talked to her...is that normal?

I haven't talked to my ex for 3 months now, like not even a word.

To the OP, rejecting the offer is the best move to make.
"My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg "
starfries
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada3508 Posts
May 10 2010 08:53 GMT
#43
On May 10 2010 15:31 MaReK wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 10 2010 07:44 decafchicken wrote:
Reject or accept and ask if you can bring a date.

Speaking of which i broke up with my gf like a month ago and havent talked to her...is that normal?

I haven't talked to my ex for 3 months now, like not even a word.

To the OP, rejecting the offer is the best move to make.

yeah unless you really want her back (generally a bad idea imo) just ignore her and focus on finding a new one. i ignored my ex for 3 months even though she tried to contact me and when i finally ran into her i still had my dignity and she didn't.
DJ – do you like ramen, Savior? Savior – not really. Bisu – I eat it often. Flash – I’m a maniac! | Foxer Fighting!
Kim_Hyun_Han
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
706 Posts
May 10 2010 10:14 GMT
#44
accept it dude

free food > girls
Nyovne
Profile Joined March 2006
Netherlands19141 Posts
May 10 2010 10:30 GMT
#45
On May 10 2010 07:18 tekushikume wrote:
If you're wanting to stay out of the friendzone, I'd suggest A) reject politely.

ModeratorFor remember, that in the end, some are born to live, others born to die. I belong to those last, born to burn, born to cry. For I shall remain alone... forsaken.
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
May 10 2010 10:51 GMT
#46
On May 10 2010 19:14 Kim_Hyun_Han wrote:
accept it dude

free food > girls


LOLOLOL
why so 진지해?
bloopie
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States123 Posts
May 12 2010 07:41 GMT
#47
OH BAD NEWS
i just drunk texted my ex.

not good.
Fobbish
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
Korea (South)1071 Posts
May 13 2010 06:10 GMT
#48
what did you say to her?
강함은 타고나는 것이 아니라 만들어 지는 것이다! - 외인구단
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