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Alright I just broke up with my girl, and shes with another dude right now 3 weeks after we broke up. She was good "friends" with this dude while we were together, and i could never find evidence if she was really cheating behind my back. Needless to say, it was not a amicable split.
Anyhow to the question: Of late, she keeps trying to invite me to dinner/supper or shit like that. Should i a) reject politely b) reject violently or c) accept? I dont wanna get into the friendzone or let her think she can walk all over me - anyone with experience please help! thanks!
   
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If you're wanting to stay out of the friendzone, I'd suggest A) reject politely.
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Obviously reject politely. You don't want to do b) or c) then get punched by that dude. :D
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Get an escort and visit her "dinner" and make her shit jealous
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On May 10 2010 07:19 OPSavioR wrote: Get an escort and visit her "dinner" and make her shit jealous i'm liking this, haha. nothing else like seeing a bitch green with envy =]
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Do you want to get back with her?
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For the first half of your post, just forget about it, it's over. Finding that kind of info out will not change or help anything.
As for your second question, why would you reject "violently"? What does that help? You would just cause yourself unneeded drama. If you want to be friends accept, if not just say no.
Personally I find there is enough other people in this world that will go out of their way to make your life more stressful/difficult, so there is no point in doing the same to yourself.
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Maybe she's with the other guy to make you jealous or just to keep her busy and is asking you to dinner because she really wants you back...
Worst you can do is go to dinner and be like fine I came to dinner what do you want... if she says come back say yes or no whatever you want... if she says let's be friends say no....
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well the long story is me, this girl and this dude are in a bunch of close friends, with other people. Its awkward as it is, and well shes got photos of him and her splashed across the facebook profiles like nobody's business.
It would seem like a douche thing to do anyway.
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I guess the question now is: is it worth going back for her?
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Don't be a bitch. Who cares if she has photos splashed around facebook? If you get back with her they will disappear instantly and be replaced with your stupid grin... If you want her back, yes it's worth going back... If you don't, it's not..
We can't tell you what you want man! If you want her go get her you had her before you can get her again
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I shall advise you as my father would, And wisely suggest you take option C, For should you accept you very well could, Take your revenge most elegantly
Bear with me know as I recommend, A plan for which you must be resolute, Go under guise of making amends, But bring with you a fine prostitute
Sit through dinner like a man of high bearing, But as you wait for desert, start getting heavy, Try too to tear the clothes that she's wearing, Your ex will feel stress, and I'm betting envy
But for dessert wait, in case timing's poor, Pull it too early and she'll know she's a whore
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If you want her back, say no and re-schedule.
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Why do sonnets kill topics?
Frozenclaw give some explanation as to why cancelling and re-scheduling ?
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Reject or accept and ask if you can bring a date.
Speaking of which i broke up with my gf like a month ago and havent talked to her...is that normal?
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yea thats normal. i havent talked (voluntarily) to my ex-gf for 2months already.
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On May 10 2010 07:43 Reason wrote: Why do sonnets kill topics?
Frozenclaw give some explanation as to why cancelling and re-scheduling ? Just to gauge what her intentions are and where she's at. I think that you could also use it as a power play so she understands that you're not going to give easy compliance, especially just after 3 weeks. I don't think it's useful to sound like you took a big hit to your life and that you NEED her back.
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I would, just to figure out what she wants.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
girls often do things like this in an attempt to make you jealous after the relationship ends how they didn't want it to
i had a girl that i was seeing but always was very honest w/ her and told her shes not my gf. obviously she wanted a real relationship but it wasn't going to happen. finally i cut things off for good but we were still on talking terms even tho she was def mad at me.
not so long ago she logged on msn telling me all about her new BF and how amazing he is in a pathetic attempt to get some 'revenge'
i typed 'lol' and blocked her. then she tried facebooking me. blocked there too. then she emailed me. no reply.
i would reject her, not politely or rudely, just straight up and if she tries to ask why just ignore her.
and if you really want to have fun, go there then tell her infront of her bf that you just tested positive for genital herpes and that she should go get checked out. for added effect throw in a 'but i have slept with 3 girls after we broke up so it might not be you...but anyways better to get tested to be sure'
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excuse me for being a jackass, but why on TL?
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excuse me for being a jackass, but why NOT on TL?
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My ex-gf had a new guy 1 week after she broke up. It was a guy from my town I didn't even have an idea she knew him. After some talking and stuff i decided to ignore her 
Dumb thing is just that she's in the same band as I am :s
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Women are fickle and retarded, not worth it.
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On May 10 2010 08:18 GeMicles wrote: excuse me for being a jackass, but why on TL?
In case you havent noticed, TL isnt made up of just nerds. <3 TL.
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lol wat u talking about. TL is made up of nerds who have lives. NERDPOWER!!
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reject politely and dont bother with her ever again
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On May 10 2010 08:03 Rekrul wrote: girls often do things like this in an attempt to make you jealous after the relationship ends how they didn't want it to
i had a girl that i was seeing but always was very honest w/ her and told her shes not my gf. obviously she wanted a real relationship but it wasn't going to happen. finally i cut things off for good but we were still on talking terms even tho she was def mad at me.
not so long ago she logged on msn telling me all about her new BF and how amazing he is in a pathetic attempt to get some 'revenge'
i typed 'lol' and blocked her. then she tried facebooking me. blocked there too. then she emailed me. no reply.
i would reject her, not politely or rudely, just straight up and if she tries to ask why just ignore her.
and if you really want to have fun, go there then tell her infront of her bf that you just tested positive for genital herpes and that she should go get checked out. for added effect throw in a 'but i have slept with 3 girls after we broke up so it might not be you...but anyways better to get tested to be sure'
There is something so hilariously awesome in this.
But yeah, you don't want to cause a scene. You're supposed to not give a shit, so don't, and act accordingly.
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tell her you want to stick it in her butt, if the WAPCE rejects, she wont talk to you, if she accepts well then you get to IDP. so its win, win.
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Maybe she's actually just trying to be nice. Like.. is she paying for dinner? I'd probably go for some dinner and if that dudes there just treat him like a normal dude and maybe even turn it into to a bro fest? Being nice is the best way! She will see your maturity and ability to cope with pain, and you'll be able to enjoy yourself more if you're not looking for things to be jealous over.
If she has malicious intentions and you're there to have a good time, she's gonna be the one who ends up looking like a turd.
I think we could end this whole secret meaning game girls play if we just stopped trying to read into these things.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On May 10 2010 10:24 meteorskunk wrote: Maybe she's actually just trying to be nice. Like.. is she paying for dinner? I'd probably go for some dinner and if that dudes there just treat him like a normal dude and maybe even turn it into to a bro fest? Being nice is the best way! She will see your maturity and ability to cope with pain, and you'll be able to enjoy yourself more if you're not looking for things to be jealous over.
If she has malicious intentions and you're there to have a good time, she's gonna be the one who ends up looking like a turd.
I think we could end this whole secret meaning game girls play if we just stopped trying to read into these things.
You're very right, but it's going to be hard for him to do that considering how emotionally invested he appears to be in this girl.
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On May 10 2010 10:33 Rekrul wrote:Show nested quote +On May 10 2010 10:24 meteorskunk wrote: Maybe she's actually just trying to be nice. Like.. is she paying for dinner? I'd probably go for some dinner and if that dudes there just treat him like a normal dude and maybe even turn it into to a bro fest? Being nice is the best way! She will see your maturity and ability to cope with pain, and you'll be able to enjoy yourself more if you're not looking for things to be jealous over.
If she has malicious intentions and you're there to have a good time, she's gonna be the one who ends up looking like a turd.
I think we could end this whole secret meaning game girls play if we just stopped trying to read into these things. You're very right, but it's going to be hard for him to do that considering how emotionally invested he appears to be in this girl.
Yeah, you forget how hard it is I guess.
The same thing happened to me, now that I reflect. I went crazy for a girl from my circle of friends and we dated and it ended and was emotionally taxing. She was like one of those who was in the bloom, and i got to her before she knew she was completely hot type of thing.
I thought I was like all cool and stuff, and then like 2 weeks later she has some new dude and is bringing him to all the gatherings and stuff, and everyone loved him but ofc i hated him. It was really painful to feel like so disposable.
Then I just talked to the guy, and it got better from there. (point of the story is basically that I know how much it sucks)
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Reject politely. Make up excuses such as "I'm kinda busy that night" but you don't have to give a specific reason, just to basically tell her that she's no longer that important and you have other things to attend to.
P.S: I'm assuming that you're not comfortable with meeting her, but if you are, just go ahead and do it.
And by the way, she might not be cheating on you as you might have thought. A lot of girls I know are somewhat similar to yours. Quickly after her relationship with a guy ends, she starts a new one with her "used-to-be" close friend. Most of the time, it's because during the difficult period she was talking to the other guy a lot and he seemed to do well understanding and comforting her. Slowly he became someone for her to rely on and from there things progressed relatively fast. From the cover it might look like she's a total bitch and has been cheating behind your back. Thought it might not necessary be the case.
gl hf
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On May 10 2010 08:18 GeMicles wrote: excuse me for being a jackass, but why on TL?
What's wrong with posting stuff about girls here?
I've actually seen (and received of course) some very, very useful advice here. And any post by Rekrul is worth reading
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On May 10 2010 10:33 Rekrul wrote:Show nested quote +On May 10 2010 10:24 meteorskunk wrote: Maybe she's actually just trying to be nice. Like.. is she paying for dinner? I'd probably go for some dinner and if that dudes there just treat him like a normal dude and maybe even turn it into to a bro fest? Being nice is the best way! She will see your maturity and ability to cope with pain, and you'll be able to enjoy yourself more if you're not looking for things to be jealous over.
If she has malicious intentions and you're there to have a good time, she's gonna be the one who ends up looking like a turd.
I think we could end this whole secret meaning game girls play if we just stopped trying to read into these things. You're very right, but it's going to be hard for him to do that considering how emotionally invested he appears to be in this girl. Yeah, I mean its only been 3 weeks. Give yourself longer, if you think it's done then let it be done.
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On May 10 2010 08:03 Rekrul wrote: girls often do things like this in an attempt to make you jealous after the relationship ends how they didn't want it to
i had a girl that i was seeing but always was very honest w/ her and told her shes not my gf. obviously she wanted a real relationship but it wasn't going to happen. finally i cut things off for good but we were still on talking terms even tho she was def mad at me.
not so long ago she logged on msn telling me all about her new BF and how amazing he is in a pathetic attempt to get some 'revenge'
i typed 'lol' and blocked her. then she tried facebooking me. blocked there too. then she emailed me. no reply.
i would reject her, not politely or rudely, just straight up and if she tries to ask why just ignore her.
and if you really want to have fun, go there then tell her infront of her bf that you just tested positive for genital herpes and that she should go get checked out. for added effect throw in a 'but i have slept with 3 girls after we broke up so it might not be you...but anyways better to get tested to be sure'
yep
ignore her
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Say, no thanks and then after she asks why, and she will, just don't respond.
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Either she's trying to make you think about her in order so that you are "bound" to her. That way she controls your shit, or she wants to have you as a fuckbuddy.
Who the hell knows dude, your not bieng very specific here. Dinner is dinner or dinner + dessert if you know what I mean...
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Maybe she wants to be your FB.
I think you should accept politely and let her make the moves
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Reject politely, then ignore her for a few days, then counteroffer to meet for dinner or drinks on YOUR terms.
This accomplishes a bunch of things.
1)- it shows her that you're not a pushover, and that she's going to have to actually try if she wants to have any sort of relationship with you, whether it be friendship or romantic
2)-shows that you still have some kind of interest, but not too much
3)-shows you are mature enough to handle a bad breakup
4)-shows that she's not succeeding if she's trying to make you jealous
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On May 10 2010 07:41 Sonnet wrote: I shall advise you as my father would, And wisely suggest you take option C, For should you accept you very well could, Take your revenge most elegantly
Bear with me know as I recommend, A plan for which you must be resolute, Go under guise of making amends, But bring with you a fine prostitute
Sit through dinner like a man of high bearing, But as you wait for desert, start getting heavy, Try too to tear the clothes that she's wearing, Your ex will feel stress, and I'm betting envy
But for dessert wait, in case timing's poor, Pull it too early and she'll know she's a whore
I give this reply 5 stars.
Option C.
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It depends on how your state of mind is.. Are you still hurt she left you? Did you get over that very same fact? Are you willing to be friends with her?
Personally, id go for A.. just becuz i had an experience where my ex bf left me all of a sudden .. i was shocked and totally distraught.. All he could say was " we can still be friends " I didnt reply but what was going through my mind was this
" Friends!? the guy i loved who left me .. didnt call or txt me or talked to me ever since.. and u wanna be friends?.. while i still miss you long for those days back when we were together.. how could he think that?!" I decided to avoid contact of any sort and im trying to get over him.. but i still caught myself trying to get to know what he is up to or hoping in vain that he is still going to call me.
So if you're like me.. and u cant put ur ex in a friendzone.. just forget about her.. get her totally out of your life and begin with a fresh new start..
good luck
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On May 10 2010 07:44 decafchicken wrote: Reject or accept and ask if you can bring a date.
Speaking of which i broke up with my gf like a month ago and havent talked to her...is that normal? I haven't talked to my ex for 3 months now, like not even a word.
To the OP, rejecting the offer is the best move to make.
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On May 10 2010 15:31 MaReK wrote:Show nested quote +On May 10 2010 07:44 decafchicken wrote: Reject or accept and ask if you can bring a date.
Speaking of which i broke up with my gf like a month ago and havent talked to her...is that normal? I haven't talked to my ex for 3 months now, like not even a word. To the OP, rejecting the offer is the best move to make. yeah unless you really want her back (generally a bad idea imo) just ignore her and focus on finding a new one. i ignored my ex for 3 months even though she tried to contact me and when i finally ran into her i still had my dignity and she didn't.
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accept it dude
free food > girls
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Netherlands19129 Posts
On May 10 2010 07:18 tekushikume wrote: If you're wanting to stay out of the friendzone, I'd suggest A) reject politely.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On May 10 2010 19:14 Kim_Hyun_Han wrote: accept it dude
free food > girls
LOLOLOL
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OH BAD NEWS i just drunk texted my ex.
not good.
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