No nsfw pictures in this blog, but it does contain explicit content - specifically, sexual activities between two men. Leave if you can't handle it.
So I just feel like writing some anecdotes about my gay roommate and his experiences with other guys. How do I know about these? No, he didn't tell me. I didn't read through his private messages on Facebook or his diary. I know about them because I was there. In the same room, 9 feet away from all the action.
So, first story. This was near the beginning of the fall semester, my roommate and I are both freshman, and have known each other for 2 or 3 weeks. I actually didn't know he was gay. He might've sounded a bit gay, but I couldn't tell and didn't really pay attention to it. We didn't really hang out much - we hung out with our own group of friends - but we chat sometimes and are on good terms. I guess this is the kind of relationship I prefer with roommates.
I discovered his true sexuality when I walked into the room around 10:30 AM. I just finished class and breakfast, and was going to take a nap. I open the door and what do I see? My roommate and a another dude (let's call him John) in bed without clothes on. John is this tall black dude, met him a couple times so I know him as an acquaintance. The thing is, I didn't leave the room when I saw the huge flurry of blankets to cover themselves up and when I heard the "WHOOAA!!" of getting caught naked with a significant other. I just say "Oh hey Chris (my roommate). Hey John." and proceed to sit at my desk and get on my laptop.... Um yeah I don't know why I didn't leave.
A couple minutes later I went to the bathroom and when I came back, John was gone and Chris apologized for not telling me beforehand. lol
Second, weirder story. So this one occurs near the end of fall semester. It's around 3 in the morning on Saturday, and I'm sleeping. Suddenly the door opens and I'm woken up, but I usually keep pretending I'm sleeping and go back to sleep. This time, I hear someone else's voice...must be a dude he brought back from a night out clubbing...shiiiit. Basically, I try to go back to sleep and cover my ears tightly with the blanket and pillows so I don't have to hear the slurping and other obscene noises. A lot was still heard though. A lot of making out... at one point, Chris is like "hey there are condoms in that drawer" - he sounds drunk - and I think "FUCK." Fortunately, the guy he brought be saves me by saying "hell naw, we can't do dat shit here!" lol another black dude.
Anyways, they keep making out and eventually fall asleep, and so do I. I wake up early the next morning to find the black dude gone and Chris still sleeping.
Third story, worst one. This was about a week ago. I was watching some epic BW VODs before I go to sleep, and I get a call, it's from my roommate Chris. Shit, if it's this late, it means he wants to use the room. I don't feel like giving up the room since I'm about to go to bed, but I don't wanna tell him anyways. Don't pick up. So he texts me asking me if it's ok to use the room. Gaaahhh I don't respond. I really should though....
About 10 minutes later, he and some kid (looool it's another black guy) come into the room and I'm pretending to be asleep so I have an excuse for not answering his call and text. Wow he is drunk out of his mind, but the black dude is sober. Black dude is like "omg what should we do your roommate is sleeping" but Chris is like "yeah whatever just get your ass in bed, I'm horny as fuck" I actually wanna laugh to myself. They start making out and the other guy asks Chris if he has condoms, but fortunately, Chris says that he doesn't wanna find them. Chris has something else in mind...
They argue some more but Chris wins because he's drunk and just keeps saying stupid shit. Then Chris convinces the black guy to give him a blowjob. It was actually a kinda funny conversation: Chris: yo just shut the fuck uppp and suck my fuckin dick. Black dude tries to get out of it Chris: No dude just suck my dick. Suck it. Black dude tries to get Chris to let him fuck him if he gives blowjob. Chris: yeah whatever we can fuck later just fuckin suck my dick already.
He eventually gives and and starts sucking Chris's dick which sounded so fucking gross holy fuck. I tried covering my ears, tried thinking about something else, even tried imagining that the black dude was actually a girl giving a blowjob... lol none of those really worked.
Halfway through, the black dude asks Chris "omg hey are you cumming yet, cuz I'm so fucking tired man." Chris: yeah (sarcastic) just keep suckin my dick Black dude protests Chris: No just fuckin suck my dick Black dude: come onnnn I've been sucking for like so long I'm tired Chris: Dude just suck my dick. I promise I'll give you the best fuckin blowjob ever if you keep sucking. Black dude: I'm tiredddd Chris: No dude you don't get it I'm gonna fuckin suck your dick for AN HOUR if you keep suckin.
More arguing back and forth, and eventually the black dude keeps sucking and Chris cums.
Chris tells the black dude to lick the cum off his chest (don't ask if he actually does, I have no clue). Black dude tells Chris not to wipe the cum with black dude's clothes, and so Chris says "Well yeah so fuckin lick this cum off my chest." Black dude now wants to fuck, but Chris (fortunately) starts saying stuff like "yeah i fuckin hate it when people criticize me, im just sayin, don't be so fuckin difficult. i hate it when people criticize me. just sayin." and then falls asleep without giving a shit what the black dude has to say.
Chris: No dude you don't get it I'm gonna fuckin suck your dick for AN HOUR if you keep suckin.
More arguing back and forth, and eventually the black dude keeps sucking and Chris cums. and then falls asleep without giving a shit what the black dude has to say.
you have to be one the of biggest pushovers in all of mankind. seriously, why would you put up with this? Nobody I know at college would just 'pretend' to sleep through it if his roommate brought a female back to the room and started having sex, let alone another dude. I personally would be pissed as hell if i were sleeping and my roommate did something of the sort (with a chick). luckily my roommate isn't too good with the ladies so that is something i never have to worry about.
On April 15 2010 11:57 TommyGG wrote: you have to be one the of biggest pushovers in all of mankind. seriously, why would you put up with this? Nobody I know at college would just 'pretend' to sleep through it if his roommate brought a female back to the room and started having sex, let alone another dude. I personally would be pissed as hell if i were sleeping and my roommate did something of the sort (with a chick). luckily my roommate isn't too good with the ladies so that is something i never have to worry about.
On April 15 2010 11:57 TommyGG wrote: you have to be one the of biggest pushovers in all of mankind. seriously, why would you put up with this? Nobody I know at college would just 'pretend' to sleep through it if his roommate brought a female back to the room and started having sex, let alone another dude. I personally would be pissed as hell if i were sleeping and my roommate did something of the sort (with a chick). luckily my roommate isn't too good with the ladies so that is something i never have to worry about.
that makes 2 of you lol xD
Are you kidding? What would you do if your roommate and his GF were making out or having sex?
Happens all the time in college this instance is just male on male instead of male on female. I've never had a roommate, but this common from what I hear (not the gay sex, but regular sex in dorms with roomies present). :p
Yeah, you might want to request a roomchange. Also, rather than pretending to be asleep and listening to it, I'd recommend just telling him he can have the room for an hour or so and going and watching VODs elsewhere. He's not allowed to kick you out of the room all night, if he does, you can complain to an RA about it (speaking as an RA here, although it might be different for your college, which college are you at?)
I feel you, though. I've been woken up by a roommate hooking last year, shit is awkward as hell.
On April 15 2010 11:57 TommyGG wrote: you have to be one the of biggest pushovers in all of mankind. seriously, why would you put up with this? Nobody I know at college would just 'pretend' to sleep through it if his roommate brought a female back to the room and started having sex, let alone another dude. I personally would be pissed as hell if i were sleeping and my roommate did something of the sort (with a chick). luckily my roommate isn't too good with the ladies so that is something i never have to worry about.
situations in order of preference
1. having the room to myself so i can get some sleep 2. being in the room while my roommate makes out with another dude, sleeping a bit 3. being sexiled
my roommate's order of preference
1. having the room to himself and his black lovers 2. making out with black dudes while his roommate is sleeping 3. not having a place to get his dick sucked
maybe im weird that i'd rather stay in bed than leave. but i am being sort of a dick to my roommate by not leaving. if i was a pushover, i would have given in to him and let him have the room. besides, i sometimes ask him to let me have the room too, and he lets me.
you guys don't get it. this isn't a rant blog. this isn't about me complaining about my roommate. this is about sharing some funny stories. this isn't one of those situations where i would hate my roommate. it's just funny college experiences.
On April 15 2010 12:06 BrownBear wrote: Hahahahahahaha, brilliant.
Yeah, you might want to request a roomchange. Also, rather than pretending to be asleep and listening to it, I'd recommend just telling him he can have the room for an hour or so and going and watching VODs elsewhere. He's not allowed to kick you out of the room all night, if he does, you can complain to an RA about it (speaking as an RA here, although it might be different for your college, which college are you at?)
I feel you, though. I've been woken up by a roommate hooking last year, shit is awkward as hell.
haha naah I'm cool with my roommate. I know that if I told him he can't bring his friend over, then he can't. No question. But I let him bring people over because I ask him to let me use the room too. In fact I'm the one being sort of a dick to him by deciding to stay.
On April 15 2010 12:06 BrownBear wrote: Hahahahahahaha, brilliant.
Yeah, you might want to request a roomchange. Also, rather than pretending to be asleep and listening to it, I'd recommend just telling him he can have the room for an hour or so and going and watching VODs elsewhere. He's not allowed to kick you out of the room all night, if he does, you can complain to an RA about it (speaking as an RA here, although it might be different for your college, which college are you at?)
I feel you, though. I've been woken up by a roommate hooking last year, shit is awkward as hell.
LOL. What's funny is we have blogs all the time complaining about their room-mates for mostly trivial shit, then we have this and he doesn't even seem that bothered
edit - wtf this topic is moving fast. We all seem very keen to read stories of male on male action ¬¬
If it was my room at the beginning of the year, and my roommate brought over another dude to start having sex, I'd be like "GTFO OUT." If it was a girl I'd be more tolerant if they were just making out and/or cuddling/etc I guess. If the other guy argued with me I'd schedule a meeting with the head of my residence hall community or whatever it is and request an expedited room change since my roommate is repeatedly having anal sex with other students in my presence while I'm trying to sleep (feeling free to exaggerate of course) and not listening when I tell him to stop. Gonna be pretty hard for them to look you in the eye and say "sorry you are gonna have to put up with anal sex on the other bed until the end of the semester" XD
Of course if I was bringing girls over we'd have to come up with some fair plan where we get the room alone sometimes I guess.
that's why im glad my dorm i stayed in last year had seperate rooms, as in like 4 people shared a room but all the bedrooms were seperate, there was no issues for things like this. The best part is you couldn't hear any noises like that, loud moaning however most definitely went through those walls.
Then again i guess that would make you miss out on funny stories like this even if they are horribly fucked up
Chris tells the black dude to lick the cum off his chest (don't ask if he actually does, I have no clue). Black dude tells Chris not to wipe the cum with black dude's clothes, and so Chris says "Well yeah so fuckin lick this cum off my chest." Black dude now wants to fuck, but Chris (fortunately) starts saying stuff like "yeah i fuckin hate it when people criticize me, im just sayin, don't be so fuckin difficult. i hate it when people criticize me. just sayin." and then falls asleep without giving a shit what the black dude has to say.
On April 15 2010 12:53 TheComeback wrote: Seems like your roomate is getting a signifigantly LARGER amount of action than you... Are you sure thats not the real problem?
Ahah... I'm not homophobic at all so it wouldn't bug me in the whole man on man way... but I dunno if I could keep from laughing from hearing that I mean frick...
On April 15 2010 14:06 meeple wrote: Ahah... I'm not homophobic at all so it wouldn't bug me in the whole man on man way... but I dunno if I could keep from laughing from hearing that I mean frick...
I don't think you need to be homophobic to be disturbed. Two people having sex next to you is naturally off-putting, but this is somewhat offset when you know one of them is of the sex you are attracted to. Also, the fact that I am uncomfortable with dicks going in butts certainly says something about my heterosexuality, but it doesn't make me homophobic. I personally dislike mushrooms and am somewhat repulsed by watching people eat them, but I see nothing inherently wrong with the act of mushroom eating in and of itself and do not dislike the people that partake in it. Being straight I naturally find gay sex unappealing even if I have no problem with gay people.
On April 15 2010 14:06 meeple wrote: Ahah... I'm not homophobic at all so it wouldn't bug me in the whole man on man way... but I dunno if I could keep from laughing from hearing that I mean frick...
ahaha i know, some of the stuff Chris was saying while he was drunk was hilarious
On April 15 2010 14:06 meeple wrote: Ahah... I'm not homophobic at all so it wouldn't bug me in the whole man on man way... but I dunno if I could keep from laughing from hearing that I mean frick...
I don't think you need to be homophobic to be disturbed. Two people having sex next to you is naturally off-putting, but this is somewhat offset when you know one of them is of the sex you are attracted to. Also, the fact that I am uncomfortable with dicks going in butts certainly says something about my heterosexuality, but it doesn't make me homophobic. I personally dislike mushrooms and am somewhat repulsed by watching people eat them, but I see nothing inherently wrong with the act of mushroom eating in and of itself and do not dislike the people that partake in it. Being straight I naturally find gay sex unappealing even if I have no problem with gay people.
On April 15 2010 18:04 meegrean wrote: this is too sick to be false.
It's too standard to be false. I've overheard people having sex before. Sometimes people are gay. Therefore sometimes the sex you overhear will be gay. It happens, deal with it.
That come to my mind: You see they are all black! How it is possible? Your room has to be in the dark (you say you were "faking" a sleep) so you have LOOKED at them when they go to bed. Yeah man..you really have some homosexual curiosity.
hahaha this is hilarious. come on guys, you've never heard your roommate going at it? i'd high five him in the morning, and i'd expect him to do the same for me.
From what i can tell, it doesn't matter if your roommate was gay or not. (okay, the sucking dick conversation sounds scarring, but MAYBE you shouldn't have pretended you were asleep) He just sounds like a complete douche bag.
On April 15 2010 19:53 LuDwig- wrote: That come to my mind: You see they are all black! How it is possible? Your room has to be in the dark (you say you were "faking" a sleep) so you have LOOKED at them when they go to bed. Yeah man..you really have some homosexual curiosity.
No you don't really need to look to tell it's a black guy 99% of the time lol.
On April 15 2010 21:19 yubee wrote: hahaha this is hilarious. come on guys, you've never heard your roommate going at it? i'd high five him in the morning, and i'd expect him to do the same for me.
For everyone laughing this off, you guys honestly need to put yourself in his shoes. I bet most of you would be just as sicked if something like this would happened to you. edit: Contact your resident head and fix the problem. It's just that simple. You could talk to your roommate, but that honestly might make things more awkward.
On April 16 2010 00:39 Mickey wrote: For everyone laughing this off, you guys honestly need to put yourself in his shoes. I bet most of you would just as sicked if something like this would happened to you.
hmm?? im not scarred. sure it was gross but i've experienced worse on the internet. i thought the whole situation (all 3 of them actually lol) were pretty funny. that's why im posting it here.
there's actually not much (or anything?) in my OP about my feelings toward these incidents. just description so you guys can have fun with it lol.
i'm all for laughing about it.
seriously dude
Black dude protests Chris: No just fuckin suck my dick Black dude: come onnnn I've been sucking for like so long I'm tired Chris: Dude just suck my dick. I promise I'll give you the best fuckin blowjob ever if you keep sucking. Black dude: I'm tiredddd Chris: No dude you don't get it I'm gonna fuckin suck your dick for AN HOUR if you keep suckin.
LOL funny stuff. Does this guy prefer black guys btw?
On April 15 2010 19:53 LuDwig- wrote: That come to my mind: You see they are all black! How it is possible? Your room has to be in the dark (you say you were "faking" a sleep) so you have LOOKED at them when they go to bed. Yeah man..you really have some homosexual curiosity.
I didn't have much of an opinion the first time I read it besides "This is a little fucked up," but when I went through it again and envisioned Chris saying everything in a super-stereotypical gay voice, I burst out laughing.
On April 15 2010 11:34 ieatkids5 wrote: Chris tells the black dude to lick the cum off his chest (don't ask if he actually does, I have no clue). Black dude tells Chris not to wipe the cum with black dude's clothes, and so Chris says "Well yeah so fuckin lick this cum off my chest." Black dude now wants to fuck, but Chris (fortunately) starts saying stuff like "yeah i fuckin hate it when people criticize me, im just sayin, don't be so fuckin difficult. i hate it when people criticize me. just sayin." and then falls asleep without giving a shit what the black dude has to say.
You have the dominant one. Be very careful.
Kidding kidding Sounds like standard roommate issues... except not hetero.
On April 15 2010 19:53 LuDwig- wrote: That come to my mind: You see they are all black! How it is possible? Your room has to be in the dark (you say you were "faking" a sleep) so you have LOOKED at them when they go to bed. Yeah man..you really have some homosexual curiosity.
No you don't really need to look to tell it's a black guy 99% of the time lol.
so let me get this straight. Instead of getting the fuck out of there to sleep on the couch, you stayed and listen to two guy making love? [blowjob] you're sick.
On April 17 2010 00:49 Forgottenfrog wrote: so let me get this straight. Instead of getting the fuck out of there to sleep on the couch, you stayed and listen to two guy making love? [blowjob] you're sick.
Being an RA for three years, I've heard some pretty weird stories about roommates caught in these kinds of situations, but this one ties on the top of my list with my friend's lesbian roommate (no hilarious dialogue, just sex while trying not to wake up the roommate - failed) and the guy who came back with a girl and while having sex he looked over to see his roommate watching very intently.
I had a similar experience with something like this four years ago. It's under spoiler due to sexual content. BTW, this is a guy/girl pair, but it's still awkward as hell!
I had a similar experience at a friend's house once. Most of us drove three hours to get to the house and 5 of us went to sleep on the floor. Two of my friends (a boyfriend/girlfriend couple) are about 5 feet away from me. I have trouble falling asleep. Half an hour later I hear makeout noises. I wasn't really surprised, but this definitely made it a LOT more difficult falling asleep. The girl starts breathing heavy. and soon muffles herself with a pillow. This continues for ten minutes. They calm down, he gets up, and they start kissing again. I assume the rest of the noises go with the kissing until the smell hit me. The smell only a man can make. They were screwing each other with three friends in the room, one about a foot away from them!
They stop and I feel considerably less awkward, almost falling asleep. I probably would have fallen asleep if they didn't start going at it again ten minutes later. At that point I stood up and left the room and went to the downstairs couch. The girl came down five minutes later to apologize, but I lied and said I woke up with a stiff back and needed to sleep on something softer. To this day she still denies anything other than kissing happened, but I know....
"More arguing back and forth, and eventually the black dude keeps sucking and Chris cums. and then falls asleep without giving a shit what the black dude has to say."
Lmfao, seriously what the hell, It has been a while since I laughed so hard.
Hey fuck guys! Remember when blogs used to be not shit with actual awesome crap in it rather than some girl being stalked on facebook. What happened man!? Fuck!
On March 15 2012 13:23 KwarK wrote: Hey fuck guys! Remember when blogs used to be not shit with actual awesome crap in it rather than some girl being stalked on facebook. What happened man!? Fuck!
I like how he thinks the sound of a guy sucking someones dick is gross. Is it differen't than the sound a girl makes when she is sucking a dick? Hahahahah the whole thing was pretty funny. Like him noticing 2 naked guys in a bed together and just acting like they were taking a walk in the park together.
I started reading the opening 2 sentences and immediately thought of
Chris: No dude you don't get it I'm gonna fuckin suck your dick for AN HOUR if you keep suckin.
More arguing back and forth, and eventually the black dude keeps sucking and Chris cums. and then falls asleep without giving a shit what the black dude has to say.
Chris: No dude you don't get it I'm gonna fuckin suck your dick for AN HOUR if you keep suckin.
More arguing back and forth, and eventually the black dude keeps sucking and Chris cums. and then falls asleep without giving a shit what the black dude has to say.
Fucking baller.
I just wondered if "baller" had a special meaning in this context.
On August 08 2012 20:04 krndandaman wrote: I just realized I'm now going to go to the same school as OP did... should I be worried? I heard there are a lot of gay people there and nothing against gay people but I would go crazy if something like this happened to me
you're already thinking about it, which means you caught the gay dude. my condolences
On August 08 2012 20:04 krndandaman wrote: I just realized I'm now going to go to the same school as OP did... should I be worried? I heard there are a lot of gay people there and nothing against gay people but I would go crazy if something like this happened to me
don't worry, the dorm policies say that in order for you or your roommate to bring someone into your room (anyone, not just bf or gf), you and your roommate need to agree. if you don't want your roommate to bring someone over, but he still does, you can talk to the RA and sort things out.
i mean, usually, no one is that strict and formal on the rules. actually my roommate and i agreed to let each other have the room to ourselves if need be (if it's late, the other person can just go to the lounge and sleep on the sofa there). it's just being reasonable on both sides. whenever i brought a girl back, i'd text him beforehand, and he was cool with it. he even let her sleep overnight in our room.
i was the one who should've left the room in this situation (story 3), but i wanted to sleep, and chris was too drunk anyway to care, so it worked out the way it did LOL
On August 08 2012 20:04 krndandaman wrote: I just realized I'm now going to go to the same school as OP did... should I be worried? I heard there are a lot of gay people there and nothing against gay people but I would go crazy if something like this happened to me
On August 08 2012 20:04 krndandaman wrote: I just realized I'm now going to go to the same school as OP did... should I be worried? I heard there are a lot of gay people there and nothing against gay people but I would go crazy if something like this happened to me
Just jump in with them sometime
wink wink
Sooooo nasty. But seriously you should do it. or like fake sleep walk over there.
Holy shit this blog is so awesome, at first I was not sure if I should read it and I was still reluctant midway, but it was totally worth it, I imagined your friend as that crazy flamboyant dude Chris Crocker (leave Britney alone) and couldn't stop laughing, fuck, 5/5.
On August 08 2012 20:04 krndandaman wrote: I just realized I'm now going to go to the same school as OP did... should I be worried? I heard there are a lot of gay people there and nothing against gay people but I would go crazy if something like this happened to me
Just jump in with them sometime
wink wink
i always wondered whether girls find 2 guys doing it to be hot, sorta like how us guys find 2 girls making out super hot. Now i know.
Hahaha wow, this blog delivered. That roommate is a fucking boss. Almost fell off my chair while reading
"yeah i fuckin hate it when people criticize me, im just sayin, don't be so fuckin difficult. i hate it when people criticize me. just sayin." and then falls asleep without giving a shit what the black dude has to say.
Can't believe you didn't leave the room, I would've been out of there so fast if I had a roomate who was having sex while I was in the room, especially if they were as talkative as those guys =S. Then again I wouldn't have gotten this awesome story out of it.....
"yeah i fuckin hate it when people criticize me, im just sayin, don't be so fuckin difficult. i hate it when people criticize me. just sayin." and then falls asleep without giving a shit what the black dude has to say.
Can't believe you didn't leave the room, I would've been out of there so fast if I had a roomate who was having sex while I was in the room, especially if they were as talkative as those guys =S. Then again I wouldn't have gotten this awesome story out of it.....
Here's something really evil you could have done.
Step one:
Buy a blank prescription bottle, fill it with multivitamins:
Step two:
Print out a label for anti-HIV drugs and glue it onto the bottle:
Step three:
Spill out the bottle on his bed or someplace where his partner will be sure to see it. When the partner sees it, be all like
I don't know where he got it, it might have come out of a package he got X weeks ago, but I really dunno
Step four:
When your roommate finally sobers up, and starts asking who did this, say
I saw some dude running out of our room when I got home. He wearing a hoodie so I didn't see his face clearly
Since he's already an asshole to all his boyfriends, he likely has a ton of drama/mistrust already built up so you can just turn that against him. He's going to lash out, and his boyfriends are going to backlash against him, etc etc.
Either way, you will have just ensured he will never get gay sex for the rest of the school year. Problem solved.
shady sands holy fuck that's brilliant ahahaha thanks man, but really, he's a chill dude - honestly all this dominating gay sex with black dudes isn't really a problem....
EPT
lol xD
(![[image loading]](http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/8361/nigra1.jpg)
Sounds like standard roommate issues... except not hetero.
![[image loading]](http://www.sxc.hu/pic/m/j/jv/jvror/991548_prescription_bottle_-_blank_label.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://images.ddccdn.com/pro/images/c2002324-a271-4402-8f39-8cdbcfd61080/zidovudine-02.jpg)
