EPTEveryone loves hearing stories about people who go out and do hugely bold things. Stories about people who travel the world, or stand up to the impossible, or make huge changes in their life to control their destiny. They're able to live vicariously through the stories and it makes them feel good, liberated, while not having to actually put themselves out there and do it themselves. You can't blame them. It's a scary place out there, and it's a huge commitment to do things like that. That's why stories like those are so hugely popular. Catching even a small taste of them gives people hope and makes them feel like they can indeed do those things too.
For the past few years, growing slowly but surely in the back of my mind, I knew that I couldn't simply hear about stories like that and be content. Like a low, almost inaudible tiger's growl from beyond the edge of the trees, the urge to travel was calling me. I never knew what I wanted to find out there, and I still don't. But the triggers have begun. The calling is roaring too loud now. I can resist no longer.
I'm going to become one of the stories that people sit at home reading about.
Let me tell you a little about my current life. I'm 23 years old, and a graphic design major set to graduate at the end of 2010. While I don't mind graphic design (it's more of a "I'm in this career path because I can't think of anything else I want to do anyway" type of situation), I'm simply burnt out on it. I have no desire or passion to do well in my classes, let alone any desire to do well when I graduate and start working. I've lived in the same area of the U.S. all my life as well, and the feeling I get from it these days can be equated to cabin fever, for lack of a better way to describe it. My routine in life has been driving me crazy. On top of this, there's been some relationship things that I feel I cannot escape without physically leaving.
All these things combined have finally built up enough to make me know that I absolutely must leave. I need to go and explore the world, and find out for myself what my destiny in life is. To learn about the world, and myself, and gain some perspective on life. To set things right with my life, and finally, for once, take charge and control my own future.
I have a very good friend that has come across some money recently. Quite a lot, in fact. When I entertained the idea to him of getting away from everything and traveling the world, he seemed greatly interested. After having a serious discussion with him, he decided to come on board. And so thus the preparations began.
We haven't decided exactly where we want to go yet, but I know that it's not going to be your casual luxury tour across Europe. While places in Europe would be great, I also want to go to places such as Southeast Asia, Central/South America, maybe even Africa or the Middle East. Places that are hugely different from the US.
The plan is to be gone for at least two months. Ideally longer, but we'll see how things go as they come. I'm tired of having such set in stone plans anyway. I want to wing this as much as possible.
I cannot deny that a significant girl has a bit of influence on all of this. If you want to read about that, I made a really terrible ranting blog post about it here: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=112294
To summarize, we met, fell for each other, she had to go back to her country, we decided to end it. She really wants to get over it because she doesn't think things can work out. But I can feel there's something special about her. It's a very rare thing for me to feel this strongly about someone. I cannot bring myself to let her go that easily.
I took a long walk late last night in the cold. I needed to clear my head and figure out if everything I had been thinking of the past few days is what I really want. The silence was refreshing. It reminded me of how it was me alone that could decide to go through with this, or continue on with my everyday life. When I got the furthest away from my house, about to turn around, I stood for awhile thinking. The crisp winter air swept into my lungs, and I looked up at the stars through the partly clouded sky. I thought for a long time. It was then that I decided that I 100% was going to leave with my friend, and we were going to travel and explore the world. It was going to help me discover what I really want in my life. Soul searching, in a way. And after all the adventures, all the traveling, the many months gone, attempting to set things straight... even though it's highly unlikely, if I somehow still have feelings for this girl, then there truly is something special. And so our final destination then in our travels will be her country. I'll give her a call and let her make the choice if she wants to meet. But no matter what happens, I won't regret it any longer. I'll have seen it through to the end.
And regardless of that, not even considering that situation at all. The call to travel is finally upon me. I've known that this day was coming for many years now. It came very suddenly, and I have no idea if I'm ready or not. But I'm going to take the plunge. I'm not going to let anything stop me. This is what I need to do, and even if I'm not ready for it, it's time.
It's time to take charge of my life and control my own future.
It's a very scary thing to know that I need to do this here and now, but that is that and I know that I need to have this happen now in my life.
