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Fantasies of a douchebag

Blogs > Sharp-eYe
Post a Reply
Sharp-eYe
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada642 Posts
December 14 2009 06:35 GMT
#1
Hello TL,

This sounds awkward (even to me) but I have realized that I am a douchebag, quite literally. I always complained, never really did much about it. I have barely any sync with my mind and body, and complain about that. However, I dream big, really big. Here is a frequent day dream/fantasy that shows up when I am alone thinking about broodwar:

Within the last few months, this unknown nerd rocks the starcraft scene with his brilliant strategies, amazing understanding of the game, and generally his incredible manliness. He gets top in iCCup, going from D- to Olympic status within a season. Its been years since Canada has ever played SC in WCG, and this year, this unknown nerd places first to travel to the WCG in Seoul, Korea.

He smashes through the qualifiers, not losing a single game. Next, he gets placed in the hardest group in WCG history: unknown nerd, Stork, Jaedong, Flash, Ret. Yet somehow this unknown nerd smashes through every, not losing a single game. Finally, after ripping his way through stork, smashing Jaedong 2-0, and crushing Ret 2-0, he must face a final obstacle: Flash. Just on a hot streak as he just won both the MSL and OSL AND PL, he knows he is in good shape. However, he knows this nerd isnt ezpz as most foreigners.

Game 1: Destination

Nerd spawns top, Flash in the bottom. Nerd goes for 2 gate, but goes for reavers as he sees that he has an opening due to Flash going mass vultures. Later on, when nerd has 5 bases and flash has 4, flash corners the hopeless nerd into a corner, and attempts to nuke his army by placing a ghost in the cliff right above the poor protoss. Little does flash know that the nerd has enough energy to recall his entire army right on top of the terrans. After this awesome move, Flash just has to gg, as he has less resrouces as the nerd.

Game 2: Outsider

Again, the nerd goes for reavers, and this time ends up taking out 50 units with each reaver he makes. GG from Flash

Tasteless and Artosis screaming: "THE FIRST FOREIGNER TO EVER WIN WCG! SHARP-eYE"

After a recruitment deal with KTF/SKT1 (cant decide yet) he goes on to rape courage, and rape the scene for a long time, and retires at 27 as the greatest player of all time, and the only protoss bonjwa in history.



*****
Are you truly so blinded by your vaunted religion, that you can't see the fall ahead of you? - Zeratul III AKA WikidSik ingame (anygame)
writer22816
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States5775 Posts
December 14 2009 06:39 GMT
#2
Reavers imba
8/4/12 never forget, never forgive.
Humbug
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States264 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-14 06:40:37
December 14 2009 06:40 GMT
#3
And then...I woke up
(points for the reference)
What is an angel? Show me an angel and I shall paint one
Kyuukyuu
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada6263 Posts
December 14 2009 06:41 GMT
#4
lol 5/5
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States43573 Posts
December 14 2009 06:41 GMT
#5
Wait, you 2 gated PvT on Destination. So Flash has siege expanded to 3 bases off 1 factory, right?
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
FreshNoThyme
Profile Joined March 2008
United States356 Posts
December 14 2009 06:44 GMT
#6
I don't think you know the meaning of "literally". But mildly entertaining, regardless.
Jyvblamo
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
Canada13788 Posts
December 14 2009 06:44 GMT
#7
On December 14 2009 15:40 Humbug wrote:
And then...I woke up
(points for the reference)

NCfOM
illu
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2531 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-14 06:45:35
December 14 2009 06:45 GMT
#8
This is similar to my dream of getting into Samsung KHAN a progaming team when I don't even know how to play Starcraft.
:]
Sharp-eYe
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada642 Posts
December 14 2009 06:47 GMT
#9
On December 14 2009 15:44 RANDOMCL wrote:
I don't think you know the meaning of "literally". But mildly entertaining, regardless.

I was looking for a word to emphasize how much of a douchebag I am.
Are you truly so blinded by your vaunted religion, that you can't see the fall ahead of you? - Zeratul III AKA WikidSik ingame (anygame)
Mastermind
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Canada7096 Posts
December 14 2009 06:53 GMT
#10
I think you are confusing the term 'douchebag' with 'pathetic'
vRoOk
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1024 Posts
December 14 2009 07:12 GMT
#11
Nice Sharp-eYe

If you Replace Sharp-eYe with vRoOk and Canadian with American
.
.
.
.

I think the same things
Breaking Bad
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21244 Posts
December 14 2009 07:14 GMT
#12
We all have these fantasies, the rest of just just don't blog them...

My fantasy involved 4 pooling to Olympic though.
TranslatorBaa!
alffla
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Hong Kong20321 Posts
December 14 2009 07:18 GMT
#13
thast douchey? o_O lol
Graphicssavior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!
evanthebouncy!
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States12796 Posts
December 14 2009 07:19 GMT
#14
yo douche is not cool man :/
Life is run, it is dance, it is fast, passionate and BAM!, you dance and sing and booze while you can for now is the time and time is mine. Smile and laugh when still can for now is the time and soon you die!
Jyvblamo
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
Canada13788 Posts
December 14 2009 07:21 GMT
#15
By the way, my fantasy is much cooler. I play random and I join Estro and turn them into a top tier team.
Zooey
Profile Joined October 2006
103 Posts
December 14 2009 07:37 GMT
#16
Great story! With a lot of practice and some luck, I expect you to achieve this story you wrote!
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
December 14 2009 07:45 GMT
#17
I want to have 400 apm and im good for life.
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
BloodDrunK
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Bangladesh2767 Posts
December 14 2009 09:29 GMT
#18
good luck with that.
You have the power to create your own destiny.
Always
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States376 Posts
December 14 2009 10:41 GMT
#19
On December 14 2009 15:35 Sharp-eYe wrote:
Hello TL,

This sounds awkward (even to me) but I have realized that I am a douchebag, quite literally. I always complained, never really did much about it. I have barely any sync with my mind and body, and complain about that. However, I dream big, really big. Here is a frequent day dream/fantasy that shows up when I am alone thinking about broodwar:

Within the last few months, this unknown nerd rocks the starcraft scene with his brilliant strategies, amazing understanding of the game, and generally his incredible manliness. He gets top in iCCup, going from D- to Olympic status within a season. Its been years since Canada has ever played SC in WCG, and this year, this unknown nerd places first to travel to the WCG in Seoul, Korea.

He smashes through the qualifiers, not losing a single game. Next, he gets placed in the hardest group in WCG history: unknown nerd, Stork, Jaedong, Flash, Ret. Yet somehow this unknown nerd smashes through every, not losing a single game. Finally, after ripping his way through stork, smashing Jaedong 2-0, and crushing Ret 2-0, he must face a final obstacle: Flash. Just on a hot streak as he just won both the MSL and OSL AND PL, he knows he is in good shape. However, he knows this nerd isnt ezpz as most foreigners.

Game 1: Destination

Nerd spawns top, Flash in the bottom. Nerd goes for 2 gate, but goes for reavers as he sees that he has an opening due to Flash going mass vultures. Later on, when nerd has 5 bases and flash has 4, flash corners the hopeless nerd into a corner, and attempts to nuke his army by placing a ghost in the cliff right above the poor protoss. Little does flash know that the nerd has enough energy to recall his entire army right on top of the terrans. After this awesome move, Flash just has to gg, as he has less resrouces as the nerd.

Game 2: Outsider

Again, the nerd goes for reavers, and this time ends up taking out 50 units with each reaver he makes. GG from Flash

Tasteless and Artosis screaming: "THE FIRST FOREIGNER TO EVER WIN WCG! SHARP-eYE"

After a recruitment deal with KTF/SKT1 (cant decide yet) he goes on to rape courage, and rape the scene for a long time, and retires at 27 as the greatest player of all time, and the only protoss bonjwa in history.



Not sure if game 2 was a lazy-out or not, but i lol'd.
"Do unto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you, to correct for subjective error." - Linus Pauling
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