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I just need to vent. I'm not looking to brain wash anyone or be an asshole... I just need to vent and tell someone because it's a relationship in my life that I've only told 1 real life friend and he's not available to talk right now.
I'm in love with this really cool, smart, funny and surprisingly beautiful girl. I say surprisingly because I know she can do a lot better than me. Anyway.
Our relationship started off with lust, just making out and eventually sex. Recently though, we seriously just fell in love with each other. I know we can all be skeptical but just for the sake of my blog, just believe me when we say we love each other. But she talked to one of her close guy friends who doesn't know the whole story about us but just knows that it started off with us just touching each other.
He told her that he thinks I'm just "using" her. She doesn't believe that and I'm happy she doesn't because it's not true. So whatever, things were going great recently until she saw a movie with him tonight and another friend.
Her and I were supposed to meet up at her place and sleep there around 1AM but she was still out with the friend when I called her. She was telling me how they watched a gory movie and she ended up grabbing his arms, squeezing his hand, etc. She proceeded telling me that they are really close buddies and they just do those things together.
Then something inside me just snapped. I just got all like, "Well whenever you're feeling down now, just talk to him, etc etc", she said that although she has fun with her friend, she prefers the way she feels when she is with me.
I don't know why but I responded with, "So I can fuck one of my friends who's a girl but I can defend it by saying it wasn't love and that I only love it when I do it with you?"
Obviously I'm jealous that she gets along with this guy friend more than she does with me. But actually she has a few guy friends that she does the same stuff too and she even sleeps in the same bed with this homosexual friend of hers but I really don't care. I trust her.
It's just this specific friend who thinks I'm just using her that is pissing me off. All I can think about right now is that she is comforted better by the guy I fucking hate. I don't even know him but the fact that he talked shit about me without knowing me kinda bothers me. If it was the shit talking alone, I wouldn't care. But the fact that he's like so close.,, I dunno.
If you've read all of this. Thanks. I just needed to vent.
 
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I'm sorry to hear that but If I understood this blog, you have to take care about thes things because lots of girls can use you for their pleasure etc..
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You should read back this blog to her.
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United States4796 Posts
On August 23 2009 23:32 Divinek wrote:
You should read back this blog to her.
Or something that lets her know how you feel, if you really love her. Good idea, maybe not the best approach?
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say to her that you heard that he said that you are just using her. That will explain your behaviour to her.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
tell him if he ever tries to put things into your girlfriends head ever again you will fucking kill him, then punch him in the mouth to let him know you're serious
im not joking. shit like that is totally unacceptable either he's a complete retard homo or he's trying to fuck her
if you don't want to take that approach, realize that if you think your girlfriend is out of your league you must be emitting some serious insecurity in some form or another that your GF can certainly detect which is probably why shes confiding in this other faggot
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
i can't understand how guys ever let themselves get into these situations LOL
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Canada9720 Posts
words of wisdom from the reaper
you should tell your gf that you don't appreciate being undermined by her douchebag friend. and then you should confront the guy and tell him to fuck off.
your initial response was pretty immature, though.
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Hes just like a male version of a female friend to her. You probably wouldnt be bothered as much if he was a girl and had talked like that about you.
He doesnt know you and starting a relationship in a sexual way kind of does sound like youre "using" her. So dont blame him for that. I assume he also knows her longer than you do and cares about her. Like a friend. Talk to your girlfriend about your feelings. Shell probably think its cute.
Also my girlfriend once told me that if a girl calls a guy a friend hes more like a brother to her. She wont think about him in a sexual way ever.
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United States4796 Posts
On August 23 2009 23:44 Rekrul wrote:
i can't understand how guys ever let themselves get into these situations LOL
Because not everyone fucks-and-goes like you do. 
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On August 23 2009 23:45 Senix wrote:
Hes just like a male version of a female friend to her. You probably wouldnt be bothered as much if he was a girl and had talked like that about you.
He doesnt know you and starting a relationship in a sexual way kind of does sound like youre "using" her. So dont blame him for that. I assume he also knows her longer than you do and cares about her. Like a friend. Talk to your girlfriend about your feelings. Shell probably think its cute.
Also my girlfriend once told me that if a girl calls a guy a friend hes more like a brother to her. She wont think about him in a sexual way ever.
cluelesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
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Your friend is trying to FUCK your GF. If you can even call this guy a "friend" (WHAT THE FUCK)? Put a stop to this fucking shit right now, as the reaper above said.
Re-read to instill into your head:
On August 23 2009 23:40 Rekrul wrote:
tell him if he ever tries to put things into your girlfriends head ever again you will fucking kill him, then punch him in the mouth to let him know you're serious
im not joking. shit like that is totally unacceptable either he's a complete retard homo or he's trying to fuck her
if you don't want to take that approach, realize that if you think your girlfriend is out of your league you must be emitting some serious insecurity in some form or another that your GF can certainly detect which is probably why shes confiding in this other faggot
On August 23 2009 23:45 CTStalker wrote:
words of wisdom from the reaper
you should tell your gf that you don't appreciate being undermined by her douchebag friend. and then you should confront the guy and tell him to fuck off.
your initial response was pretty immature, though.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On August 23 2009 23:45 Senix wrote:
Hes just like a male version of a female friend to her. You probably wouldnt be bothered as much if he was a girl and had talked like that about you.
He doesnt know you and starting a relationship in a sexual way kind of does sound like youre "using" her. So dont blame him for that. I assume he also knows her longer than you do and cares about her. Like a friend. Talk to your girlfriend about your feelings. Shell probably think its cute.
Also my girlfriend once told me that if a girl calls a guy a friend hes more like a brother to her. She wont think about him in a sexual way ever.
explain to me exactly how starting a relationship in a sexual way sounds like he's 'using her' or could be interpretted that way?
if he was using he would have fucked her once or a few times then dumped her
the fact that the relationship started sexually and he's still with her proves that he cares about her a lot lol
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That's never a pleasant situation; feelings of under-appreciation are the most frequent root of problems in relationships. It definitely sucks.
Read this in a week once you've cooled down:
+ Show Spoiler +
Your reaction of anger is natural. Anger is a subconscious response to the targeting of conscious or unconscious desires and feelings of inadequacy. Simply put: you need to rationalize things and put them in perspective.
First: how long have you known this girl, and how long have you been in love with her? If by 'love each other' you mean 'feel something in my heart for each other and want to be together as often as possible and love to just cuddle', how long has that lasted? These feelings are usually felt within the first two years and will always pass.
Second: you feel inadequate for her. This is bad if you want this to grow into a serious committed relationship. Target why you feel inadequate: looks, intelligence, achievements, etc. Consider whether any of these are legitimate reasons for inadequacy: do they really matter to you? If you see yourself with a good body, start running and working out. If you think you can be more successful (or whatever society deems as success), start doing that. That's entirely up to you.
Third: talk to her. She needs to be aware of this. There is no reason this can't be resolved totally peacefully and without any ill feelings. Has she considered the guy could be biased against you for his own benefit? etc.
Anger is never helpful. Always target anger; humans should never be angry. If they are, it is because of a lack of self-knowledge and self-awareness.
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I say surprisingly because I know she can do a lot better than me
this attitude is your main problem imo. why do you care when she has male friends to talk about problems or relationships, or go to movies together, if you are the one fucking her? by telling you about it she was just testing your (in)security.
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Her friend wants a piece and never got one, therefore regardless of who this girl sees, he is going to suggest its a bad move, its not even anything against you as much as this guy trying to manipulate her into seeing every other guy as a bad choice aside from him. Your gf will deny she knows this, but will know it 100%, and will love the fact that someone wants her even if shes not interested in him. Therefore she will do things like what she did at the movies, because it keeps him thinking he just MIGHT have a chance one day.
This is shit that insecure girls, and guys do, and its these stupid fucking games that make me hate relationships. You need to let the girl know how it makes you feel, and get her to stop leading this guy on without straight out telling her to stop leading the guy on (which she is but will deny). Remind her also that this guy is only going to make judgements about you based on what SHE tells him about you, and if he is saying to her that he thinks you are using her, its because she has somewhat implied that, so that he will let her know she can do better, thus making her feel better about herself.
I doubt they will ever hook up or anything, because she already has him under her thumb, its just a matter of whether or not you can get her to cut the shit out. The more threatened you are buy this guy, the more threatening he becomes, and I disagree with Rekrul, confronting the guy will just give him the old 'I told you he was bad for you' spiel, and if you guys are fighting at the same time, she just might agree with him.
GL dude, if you can manage to get her to cut out the mind games you guys will prolly have something great 
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
well obviously he's fucked beyond belief at this point in time
he's already tried to pass her insecurity tests using more insecurity...oooopz
itspaul is right completely
but hey, if u knock his buck teeth out even tho ur relationship might be ruined, atleast u'll get to feel damn good knowing he won't be able to fuck her with a big gaping hole in his smile !
nah seriousy though, it's never too late,
i really dont know what else u can do except 'start being more confident' with her but even tho people always say thats the solution if you've already gotten yourself in this spot its not something thats going to come naturally
he's playing mind games with her and she is in turn playing mind games with u.....avoid mind games at all costs with women never fall into their trap and never say anything to try and manipulate them...because they will ALWAYS know what ur up to. just be the man
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
if it were me honestly i'd just say something like this (with no anger or anything)
'lol well let me know when you decide to stop hanging out with manipulative losers who know nothing about us....i'm not going to waste my time with such petty bullshit.'
then i'd walk out and go out with friends and act accordingly as if me and her are through 100%
if she comes back to me, she comes back to me, and she'll want me and only me more than ever before
if not, oh well
if she ends up getting with that guy...well then them 2 can have nice pathetic lives together lolol
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As others said, the guy is just a wanker who got friend-zoned and still wants the girl. If you get petty and jelous etc. Then he's obv. winning.
Btw - for the love of god dont go and punch the dude in the face -_-a
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Read any of kennigits "pick up guides" or really anything that any guy posts about girls on the web and suggest a good reason why this friend of hers _shouldn't_ think you are using her?
You really like her, and she really likes you: fine, that should be enough. The fact that she has _friends_ (that most likely will stick with her for much longer than you will) that she likes to hang out with as well shouldnt bother you.
But yeah, I agree that not beeing accepted by your GF:s friends kinda sucks, hopefully he will realize that you actually like her sooner or later. If he never does then maybe the people saying that he wants more than to be friends with her are right, which kinda sucks for him but not you =p
(or maybe you just ARE a bad boyfriend but lets hope not)
And oh god I just have to say this, don't any of you guys have female friends? Like seriously? Every guy who is friends with a girl is not some wanker who got friend-zoned, god. But something tells me the op knows this.
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EPT
