|
I just need to vent. I'm not looking to brain wash anyone or be an asshole... I just need to vent and tell someone because it's a relationship in my life that I've only told 1 real life friend and he's not available to talk right now.
I'm in love with this really cool, smart, funny and surprisingly beautiful girl. I say surprisingly because I know she can do a lot better than me. Anyway.
Our relationship started off with lust, just making out and eventually sex. Recently though, we seriously just fell in love with each other. I know we can all be skeptical but just for the sake of my blog, just believe me when we say we love each other. But she talked to one of her close guy friends who doesn't know the whole story about us but just knows that it started off with us just touching each other.
He told her that he thinks I'm just "using" her. She doesn't believe that and I'm happy she doesn't because it's not true. So whatever, things were going great recently until she saw a movie with him tonight and another friend.
Her and I were supposed to meet up at her place and sleep there around 1AM but she was still out with the friend when I called her. She was telling me how they watched a gory movie and she ended up grabbing his arms, squeezing his hand, etc. She proceeded telling me that they are really close buddies and they just do those things together.
Then something inside me just snapped. I just got all like, "Well whenever you're feeling down now, just talk to him, etc etc", she said that although she has fun with her friend, she prefers the way she feels when she is with me.
I don't know why but I responded with, "So I can fuck one of my friends who's a girl but I can defend it by saying it wasn't love and that I only love it when I do it with you?"
Obviously I'm jealous that she gets along with this guy friend more than she does with me. But actually she has a few guy friends that she does the same stuff too and she even sleeps in the same bed with this homosexual friend of hers but I really don't care. I trust her.
It's just this specific friend who thinks I'm just using her that is pissing me off. All I can think about right now is that she is comforted better by the guy I fucking hate. I don't even know him but the fact that he talked shit about me without knowing me kinda bothers me. If it was the shit talking alone, I wouldn't care. But the fact that he's like so close.,, I dunno.
If you've read all of this. Thanks. I just needed to vent.
 
|
I'm sorry to hear that but If I understood this blog, you have to take care about thes things because lots of girls can use you for their pleasure etc..
|
You should read back this blog to her.
|
United States4796 Posts
On August 23 2009 23:32 Divinek wrote:
You should read back this blog to her.
Or something that lets her know how you feel, if you really love her. Good idea, maybe not the best approach?
|
say to her that you heard that he said that you are just using her. That will explain your behaviour to her.
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
tell him if he ever tries to put things into your girlfriends head ever again you will fucking kill him, then punch him in the mouth to let him know you're serious
im not joking. shit like that is totally unacceptable either he's a complete retard homo or he's trying to fuck her
if you don't want to take that approach, realize that if you think your girlfriend is out of your league you must be emitting some serious insecurity in some form or another that your GF can certainly detect which is probably why shes confiding in this other faggot
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
i can't understand how guys ever let themselves get into these situations LOL
|
Canada9720 Posts
words of wisdom from the reaper
you should tell your gf that you don't appreciate being undermined by her douchebag friend. and then you should confront the guy and tell him to fuck off.
your initial response was pretty immature, though.
|
Hes just like a male version of a female friend to her. You probably wouldnt be bothered as much if he was a girl and had talked like that about you.
He doesnt know you and starting a relationship in a sexual way kind of does sound like youre "using" her. So dont blame him for that. I assume he also knows her longer than you do and cares about her. Like a friend. Talk to your girlfriend about your feelings. Shell probably think its cute.
Also my girlfriend once told me that if a girl calls a guy a friend hes more like a brother to her. She wont think about him in a sexual way ever.
|
United States4796 Posts
On August 23 2009 23:44 Rekrul wrote:
i can't understand how guys ever let themselves get into these situations LOL
Because not everyone fucks-and-goes like you do. 
|
On August 23 2009 23:45 Senix wrote:
Hes just like a male version of a female friend to her. You probably wouldnt be bothered as much if he was a girl and had talked like that about you.
He doesnt know you and starting a relationship in a sexual way kind of does sound like youre "using" her. So dont blame him for that. I assume he also knows her longer than you do and cares about her. Like a friend. Talk to your girlfriend about your feelings. Shell probably think its cute.
Also my girlfriend once told me that if a girl calls a guy a friend hes more like a brother to her. She wont think about him in a sexual way ever.
cluelesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
|
Your friend is trying to FUCK your GF. If you can even call this guy a "friend" (WHAT THE FUCK)? Put a stop to this fucking shit right now, as the reaper above said.
Re-read to instill into your head:
On August 23 2009 23:40 Rekrul wrote:
tell him if he ever tries to put things into your girlfriends head ever again you will fucking kill him, then punch him in the mouth to let him know you're serious
im not joking. shit like that is totally unacceptable either he's a complete retard homo or he's trying to fuck her
if you don't want to take that approach, realize that if you think your girlfriend is out of your league you must be emitting some serious insecurity in some form or another that your GF can certainly detect which is probably why shes confiding in this other faggot
On August 23 2009 23:45 CTStalker wrote:
words of wisdom from the reaper
you should tell your gf that you don't appreciate being undermined by her douchebag friend. and then you should confront the guy and tell him to fuck off.
your initial response was pretty immature, though.
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
On August 23 2009 23:45 Senix wrote:
Hes just like a male version of a female friend to her. You probably wouldnt be bothered as much if he was a girl and had talked like that about you.
He doesnt know you and starting a relationship in a sexual way kind of does sound like youre "using" her. So dont blame him for that. I assume he also knows her longer than you do and cares about her. Like a friend. Talk to your girlfriend about your feelings. Shell probably think its cute.
Also my girlfriend once told me that if a girl calls a guy a friend hes more like a brother to her. She wont think about him in a sexual way ever.
explain to me exactly how starting a relationship in a sexual way sounds like he's 'using her' or could be interpretted that way?
if he was using he would have fucked her once or a few times then dumped her
the fact that the relationship started sexually and he's still with her proves that he cares about her a lot lol
|
That's never a pleasant situation; feelings of under-appreciation are the most frequent root of problems in relationships. It definitely sucks.
Read this in a week once you've cooled down:
+ Show Spoiler +
Your reaction of anger is natural. Anger is a subconscious response to the targeting of conscious or unconscious desires and feelings of inadequacy. Simply put: you need to rationalize things and put them in perspective.
First: how long have you known this girl, and how long have you been in love with her? If by 'love each other' you mean 'feel something in my heart for each other and want to be together as often as possible and love to just cuddle', how long has that lasted? These feelings are usually felt within the first two years and will always pass.
Second: you feel inadequate for her. This is bad if you want this to grow into a serious committed relationship. Target why you feel inadequate: looks, intelligence, achievements, etc. Consider whether any of these are legitimate reasons for inadequacy: do they really matter to you? If you see yourself with a good body, start running and working out. If you think you can be more successful (or whatever society deems as success), start doing that. That's entirely up to you.
Third: talk to her. She needs to be aware of this. There is no reason this can't be resolved totally peacefully and without any ill feelings. Has she considered the guy could be biased against you for his own benefit? etc.
Anger is never helpful. Always target anger; humans should never be angry. If they are, it is because of a lack of self-knowledge and self-awareness.
|
I say surprisingly because I know she can do a lot better than me
this attitude is your main problem imo. why do you care when she has male friends to talk about problems or relationships, or go to movies together, if you are the one fucking her? by telling you about it she was just testing your (in)security.
|
Her friend wants a piece and never got one, therefore regardless of who this girl sees, he is going to suggest its a bad move, its not even anything against you as much as this guy trying to manipulate her into seeing every other guy as a bad choice aside from him. Your gf will deny she knows this, but will know it 100%, and will love the fact that someone wants her even if shes not interested in him. Therefore she will do things like what she did at the movies, because it keeps him thinking he just MIGHT have a chance one day.
This is shit that insecure girls, and guys do, and its these stupid fucking games that make me hate relationships. You need to let the girl know how it makes you feel, and get her to stop leading this guy on without straight out telling her to stop leading the guy on (which she is but will deny). Remind her also that this guy is only going to make judgements about you based on what SHE tells him about you, and if he is saying to her that he thinks you are using her, its because she has somewhat implied that, so that he will let her know she can do better, thus making her feel better about herself.
I doubt they will ever hook up or anything, because she already has him under her thumb, its just a matter of whether or not you can get her to cut the shit out. The more threatened you are buy this guy, the more threatening he becomes, and I disagree with Rekrul, confronting the guy will just give him the old 'I told you he was bad for you' spiel, and if you guys are fighting at the same time, she just might agree with him.
GL dude, if you can manage to get her to cut out the mind games you guys will prolly have something great 
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
well obviously he's fucked beyond belief at this point in time
he's already tried to pass her insecurity tests using more insecurity...oooopz
itspaul is right completely
but hey, if u knock his buck teeth out even tho ur relationship might be ruined, atleast u'll get to feel damn good knowing he won't be able to fuck her with a big gaping hole in his smile !
nah seriousy though, it's never too late,
i really dont know what else u can do except 'start being more confident' with her but even tho people always say thats the solution if you've already gotten yourself in this spot its not something thats going to come naturally
he's playing mind games with her and she is in turn playing mind games with u.....avoid mind games at all costs with women never fall into their trap and never say anything to try and manipulate them...because they will ALWAYS know what ur up to. just be the man
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
if it were me honestly i'd just say something like this (with no anger or anything)
'lol well let me know when you decide to stop hanging out with manipulative losers who know nothing about us....i'm not going to waste my time with such petty bullshit.'
then i'd walk out and go out with friends and act accordingly as if me and her are through 100%
if she comes back to me, she comes back to me, and she'll want me and only me more than ever before
if not, oh well
if she ends up getting with that guy...well then them 2 can have nice pathetic lives together lolol
|
As others said, the guy is just a wanker who got friend-zoned and still wants the girl. If you get petty and jelous etc. Then he's obv. winning.
Btw - for the love of god dont go and punch the dude in the face -_-a
|
Read any of kennigits "pick up guides" or really anything that any guy posts about girls on the web and suggest a good reason why this friend of hers _shouldn't_ think you are using her?
You really like her, and she really likes you: fine, that should be enough. The fact that she has _friends_ (that most likely will stick with her for much longer than you will) that she likes to hang out with as well shouldnt bother you.
But yeah, I agree that not beeing accepted by your GF:s friends kinda sucks, hopefully he will realize that you actually like her sooner or later. If he never does then maybe the people saying that he wants more than to be friends with her are right, which kinda sucks for him but not you =p
(or maybe you just ARE a bad boyfriend but lets hope not)
And oh god I just have to say this, don't any of you guys have female friends? Like seriously? Every guy who is friends with a girl is not some wanker who got friend-zoned, god. But something tells me the op knows this.
|
United States4796 Posts
Can I ask you a question, and I don't know if this is the right time for this.
But are you, or the girl, or any of you, Asian?
This is a rather unfounded question, and it doesn't bring up any stereotypes. I'm just curious.
|
On August 23 2009 23:40 Rekrul wrote:
tell him if he ever tries to put things into your girlfriends head ever again you will fucking kill him, then punch him in the mouth to let him know you're serious
im not joking. shit like that is totally unacceptable either he's a complete retard homo or he's trying to fuck her
if you don't want to take that approach, realize that if you think your girlfriend is out of your league you must be emitting some serious insecurity in some form or another that your GF can certainly detect which is probably why shes confiding in this other faggot
Couldn't say it any better. Lol
|
On August 23 2009 23:59 ItsPaul wrote:Her friend wants a piece and never got one, therefore regardless of who this girl sees, he is going to suggest its a bad move, its not even anything against you as much as this guy trying to manipulate her into seeing every other guy as a bad choice aside from him. Your gf will deny she knows this, but will know it 100%, and will love the fact that someone wants her even if shes not interested in him. Therefore she will do things like what she did at the movies, because it keeps him thinking he just MIGHT have a chance one day. This is shit that insecure girls, and guys do, and its these stupid fucking games that make me hate relationships. You need to let the girl know how it makes you feel, and get her to stop leading this guy on without straight out telling her to stop leading the guy on (which she is but will deny). Remind her also that this guy is only going to make judgements about you based on what SHE tells him about you, and if he is saying to her that he thinks you are using her, its because she has somewhat implied that, so that he will let her know she can do better, thus making her feel better about herself. I doubt they will ever hook up or anything, because she already has him under her thumb, its just a matter of whether or not you can get her to cut the shit out. The more threatened you are buy this guy, the more threatening he becomes, and I disagree with Rekrul, confronting the guy will just give him the old 'I told you he was bad for you' spiel, and if you guys are fighting at the same time, she just might agree with him. GL dude, if you can manage to get her to cut out the mind games you guys will prolly have something great
This guy knows what he's talking about.
I'm still leaning toward direct confrontation though.. it always makes me feel better.
|
And oh god I just have to say this, don't any of you guys have female friends? Like seriously? Every guy who is friends with a girl is not some wanker who got friend-zoned, god. But something tells me the op knows this.
Do you tell your female friends their new bfs you've never met are jerks who use her and she deserves a better and more sensitive guy, then physically comfort her? :s
|
By the looks of it, your girl got some attention disorder issues.. Why the fuck does she need to get all touchy feely with some jerk trying to make beef with you and is trying to fuck her? LOL?
or I don't understand what the hell is the matter with this girl, is she really borderline "player" to just boost her ego.
I dunno but I'll go with rekrul's advice on hitting this maniac with lunchbox hammer fist.
On another note:
Why not try counter-strategize by telling your girl in case she is with him that "Can I met you guys right now and lets have a drink or party?", then try to be all friendly and plastic with this douch, if this guy really goes asshole on you, make your girlfriend see that he is a fucktard then hit him with all you got or just show that her friend is a complete bastard"
|
Why must the focus be on the guy? the op obviously doesn't know the whole story either and are completely emotional justified by incomplete logic.
Dude, it's obvious you really value the girl. Actually she knows this already, the only reason she's telling you that is to test your response. Why does your gf even tell you she held the guy's arm? Stop blaming the other guy, he's not being a jerk, he's just being himself and you don't know the whole story.
What you need to do is BE A MAN, don't be so insecured. You are PERFECT, the attitude of "she can find better than me" is completely bs. That leads to emotions like jealousy because you are insecured of yourself. You think she's too good for you, bull crap. What makes her better than you? Being needy and insecured never leads to a good ending, your "blow up" reaction is the perfect example. This is just the beginning, you are going to continue to be overprotective because you can't trust her and you aren't confident about yourself.
Just remember this, you can't change anything or anybody but yourself. Any misery you face is ALWAYS from within if you look deep enough. Blaming things outside your direct control means you aren't looking at the right place.
|
My ex and I had a pretty solid relationship until she started hanging out with some doucheface from her church. He told her how much he liked her and all this shit. She was flattered, but didn't act on it, yet. Some weeks or a month later they started hanging out in a group with other people, but then it turned into them going out alone aka a date. We were still going out at this point and I had no knowledge of what was going on. She came to me a week or so later to tell me she wanted to go on a break because she was feeling "neglected" or some super bullshit. She did end up cheating on me and I had to hear it through the grapevine to eventually find out. The point of this little story is what has already been said. Guys hanging out with your chick don't want to be her friend they want to fuck her. You can say it with about 90% of guys. They don't want to be friends with chicks, for the most part, they just want to fuck them.
Unlike you I didn't have an opportunity to confront her, but your situation is different and you must go to her and lay it all out or else you're going to fuck yourself over. Be strong and tell her that if you two are going to be in a relationship that you want to be the one she goes to not some dickjock.
p.s- there is actually a lot more to my story, but not necessary to put here
|
On August 24 2009 01:26 tonight wrote:
My ex and I had a pretty solid relationship until she started hanging out with some doucheface from her church. He told her how much he liked her and all this shit. She was flattered, but didn't act on it, yet. Some weeks or a month later they started hanging out in a group with other people, but then it turned into them going out alone aka a date. We were still going out at this point and I had no knowledge of what was going on. She came to me a week or so later to tell me she wanted to go on a break because she was feeling "neglected" or some super bullshit. She did end up cheating on me and I had to hear it through the grapevine to eventually find out. The point of this little story is what has already been said. Guys hanging out with your chick don't want to be her friend they want to fuck her. You can say it with about 90% of guys. They don't want to be friends with chicks, for the most part, they just want to fuck them.
Unlike you I didn't have an opportunity to confront her, but your situation is different and you must go to her and lay it all out or else you're going to fuck yourself over. Be strong and tell her that if you two are going to be in a relationship that you want to be the one she goes to not some dickjock.
p.s- there is actually a lot more to my story, but not necessary to put here
Man! 
Edit: since he goes to church, you should have told him "DO NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE, BIATCH" and kicked him in the balls.
|
Jesus Christ.
No wonder relationships fall apart so fucking easily.
THIS GUY TOUCHED MY GIRLFRIEND???
THAT MEANS SHE'S FUCKING HIM!
I BETTER PUNCH HIM IN THE MOUTH.
That'll sort it out, you go do that.
Don't be so amazingly insecure and stop putting yourself down.
She's obviously with you for a reason and if you're in love, if you're both in love then you should talk to each other about this kind of stuff and you should be able to do it in a mature way.
1) She told you that she talked to this guy, she told you what he said and she said that she didn't believe it.
HEY YOU, SHE DOESN'T THINK YOU'RE USING HER! Whose opinion matters more to you, the girl you're supposed to be in love with or her friend's?
2) She went to the movie with him and another friend. And she called you. And she told you.
SO THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT FUCKING AT THE MOVIES.
Also, grabbing someone's hand in reaction to watching a scary movie is a typically girly thing to do. Where the fuck does "comforting" come into this.
Is she supposed to go and watch the movie then come back and tell you about the scary parts, relive the experience, pretend to jump and let you grab her so your male pride doesn't retreat to wherever your testicles went?
3) You said that she does this kind of stuff with her other friends so she's not behaving in an unusual manner with one particular guy. Personally, I wouldn't particularly want my significant other sleeping in the same bed as a member of opposite gender, whether they were gay or not but if that's the kind of thing she does normally or if there's only one bed wherever she lives then just accept that's what she does.
It's who she was when you met her, it's the person you fell in love with and it's the person who tells you that they love you too.
Are you currently dating and mutually monogamous?
If the answer is yes, then for crying out loud have some trust in her. If you can't trust her, if you're going to jump down her throat every time she interacts with someone you don't like then you might as well leave her now and date a small plastic robot instead.
If the answer is no, what's going on? Are you friends with benefits? On the way to dating? In love but you're just sexing it up at the moment and you don't really have plans? Was your line about "fucking a friend who's a girl" an honest comparison to make with her grabbing someone whilst watching a scary film or is she actually fucking this other guy?
Honestly, read back what you've written and listen to yourself.
You're taking all your worries about yourself out on her.
"This guy can comfort her better, she obviously likes him more than me..."
If that were true, uhh.... wouldn't she be with him and not you?
I'm really sorry but this is just dumb, I'm not going to be all sympathetic and poor you, that nasty guy is a real douche for saying a bad thing. MAN UP. And I don't mean man up in the sense that beating the fuck out of some guy who doesn't like you because he doesn't know you is a good idea.
People have friends, they're allowed to care and look out for each other regardless of gender.
If you want to prove her friend wrong, do it by behaving like an adult. Not like a child in a playground and certainly not by having a go at him or by violence.
If you love this girl and you want things to work out then you need to learn to communicate properly with her and now would probably be a damn good time to start. I reckon with an apology for the "fucking a girl who's a friend" line. Then you should talk about trust and the difference between actually comforting someone and sitting next to someone at the theatre who you grab jokingly when a gory movie is playing.
If you can't deal with little things (and this really does sound like a little thing) then what on earth are you going to do if a genuine crisis occurs?
Do you genuinely think that this girl is smart?
If so then you should be able to trust her to make her own judgement about you, your character, your feelings and whether you're using her or not. Trust her to know that her friend is making an unfair assumption because he doesn't know you. And listen to her when she talks to you and tells you that she loves you.
Maybe she's telling you this type of thing because she doesn't want you to worry, she wants to reassure you that there's nothing to worry about. If you blow up and react like this, what is she likely to do?
Carry on telling you everything, stop telling you because of how you reacted or think to herself, Wow... Is it really going to work with a new guy who gets jealous about friends I've had for a long time.
Fair enough, there can be too much honesty. Sometimes you don't need to know and you shouldn't know every single detail of your girlfriend's life as some privacy is required in a relationship and there's that whole trust thing again. I'd say that maybe you could ask her not to tell you everything she does but I get the feeling, if that happened, you'd drive yourself nuts with paranoia and you'd be actively looking for problems.
So yes, I've been pretty harsh but I think you need it if you want to make things work with her.
Do the following and you'll be fine:
Be a man.
Accept that she loves you and that she wants to be with you.
Get rid of the attitude that she can do better. RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
Care about her and not what her friends think or say. You're not in love with them and you're not having sex with them. They do not matter.
If you have a genuine problem that involves her, talk to her about it and be honest instead of saying something that's potentially hurtful and that you may regret later. All you have to do is tell her that you're worried about something and explain why.
Then you sort it out together, you grow stronger together, love blossoms like a happy little flower and everyone ends up with rainbows for shoes.
The End.
Oh wait, EDIT EDIT EDIT.
I'm dying to know.
All you guys who say "any guy who hangs out with a girl who has a boyfriend obviously wants to bang that girl." Do I take that to mean that you'd all bang your mate's girlfriends given the opportunity? Because if you tell someone that's what "all" guys will do, you're including yourselves in that. Unless TL is the last bastion of chivalry and honor in the world.
|
I was trying to phrase a reply but basically what ItsPaul and rek said is what I'd say too. Especially the analysis of the guy, I agree 100% that he can't get her, so he'll undermine everyone that can so as to make sure she's attached to him only and to keep his hopes alive that he has even the remotest of chances of getting with her. What he does is basically echo back every little doubt that she has and talks about, trying to amplify those doubts, putting every little thing you do in a different (negative) light. I have to echo the general sentiment here, if I've learned anything through the years it is that (almost) every guy that is single and supposedly wants to be a good friend to your girlfriend is just trying to get in her pants and they 'll try to abuse their position as a trustee to get what they want. I've had similar problems before and I've been proven correct almost every time when my gut told me this. The problem is, girls want a lot of 'good friends' they can tell whatever 's bothering them to and get attention, yadda yadda, whether they're oblivious to the 'friend' trying to hit on them or not.
What you should do about it is a different question, but I'd be inclined to advise you to be pretty straightforward about it. Ultimately the guy will keep trying to achieve his goal so he is and will stay your opponent. You either discredit him totally, discourage him to be a giant douche, give her an ultimatum, whatever. The bottom line is, to quote Highlander, 'There can be only one' when talking about you and this guy. You 'll have to evaluate for yourself how strong you estimate your own position whether the guy can become a real threat or not, then act accordingly. In any case, making a strong statement and breaking up because of it is still better than having a hands off approach and then finding out that when the two of you were in a rough patch she had a momentary weakness and boned the guy or something along those lines.
Edit: One might perceive it as insecure to see him as a rival, but ultimately everyone has doubts about his or her partner in a relationship and every little insecurity can be exploited if you just keep hammering on it in a subtle way. While he might not score the girl, he can still harm her relationship with you. Not everyone is susceptible to this kind of mental warfare, but from my experience you should never be too sure about your position being immune to this kind of tarnishing. My 2 cents.
|
got Arnic your post are full of quality but too long to read sometimes!
But really sometimes situations really need to be escalated, just check out tonight's post. He didn't do anything about it until he spyed on her.
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
|
Licmyobelisk.
I know, I'm Mr. TL:DR personified. I always hope that if I'm thorough and cover everything the first time round then it saves me having to recheck a thread and say something else later.
What's up with the spying thing? I'll go check that out and maybe try out one of those new fangled short replies.
|
I didn't spy on a bitch I just found out then I was like gimmie back my books, bitch
didn't really say it like that, but god knows I wanted to
EDIT: Guys wouldn't go through the trouble of trying to get with there friends girl. It's other random dudes girls.
|
tonight - read your post.
Can understand your situation and you being justifiably pissed about that. There's never any excuse for cheating. Ever. I fucking hate people who cheat.
OP's situation is different though. Well, from the way he describes it, it is.
If his girl was going through some serious trouble or a family crisis and had turned to her friend over him then maybe he'd be right to ask "why a friend and not me?" Or if he'd gone to the movies with her and her friends and she still grabbed someone else's arm. That would also be a situation in which he'd be correct in asking "why a friend and not me?"
But going to the movies with two other friends and grabbing someone's arm isn't really something so dreadful and massive as to make his reaction acceptable.
Licmyobelisk - I believe I owe you thanks for a golfclap. If you ever need a favor and it's something I can do, it is yours
|
No, it's not a big deal I agree. The fact of the matter is that it's started by her saying that she thinks he's using her and from there things could snowball. Then finding comfort in a male friend and not your boyfriend who you claim to love? I know I just should bitter, but these are the facts that I'm looking at that all seem fishy. Don't get me wrong though I have intention in saying that I think she's cheating that's not it at all. I just think somewhere the line of communication was broken and it needs to be reestablished.
|
United States22883 Posts
On August 23 2009 23:57 r3dox wrote:this attitude is your main problem imo. why do you care when she has male friends to talk about problems or relationships, or go to movies together, if you are the one fucking her? by telling you about it she was just testing your (in)security.
Uh... having sex isn't the end goal of relationships. If she's more comfortable around the other guy, then that's not just about insecurity.
|
On August 24 2009 02:18 tonight wrote:
No, it's not a big deal I agree. The fact of the matter is that it's started by her saying that she thinks he's using her and from there things could snowball. Then finding comfort in a male friend and not your boyfriend who you claim to love? I know I just should bitter, but these are the facts that I'm looking at that all seem fishy. Don't get me wrong though I have intention in saying that I think she's cheating that's not it at all. I just think somewhere the line of communication was broken and it needs to be reestablished.
Ah no.
OP's issue wasn't with the girl.
A male friend of hers was the one who said to the girl that he thought the OP was using her.
Then the girl told the OP what the male friend had said.
As far as I could tell, there wasn't actually any comforting at all.
He had a problem because the girl had gone to the movies with the guy he didn't like and another friend (gender unspecified). Whilst at the movie, which was gory, the girl grabbed the arm of the guy the OP didn't like.
The girl told the OP that she had grabbed the other guy's arm. OP says that she's like that with all her friends.
(Typing that out made me feel ridiculous.)
Anyway, she's communicating but I don't think she realized how the OP would take it.
Which is why I mentioned too much honesty.
And also, based on OP's reaction, why the girl not telling him everything she does would probably be as bad as her telling him everything she does currently.
He can't ask her to stop being touchy-feely with her friends if that's how she's always been so he either needs to learn to deal with it in a mature fashion or break up with her until he can deal with things like this in a mature fashion.
I hope he manages the former, everyone has to learn about relationships in some way. They're not all easy sailing and perfect love right from the start. Everyone can make mistakes and that's fine, it's when the mistakes get made or things go wrong and no one talks until it's too late that bad shit starts to happen.
|
Just dump her there are plenty of fish in the sea. Like if she's bothering you so much and you can't talk to her about it then like why waste your time anyways with her.
|
get some drugs that make you feel super confident, open, and on top of the world. then go hang with your girlfriend so that you can allow the drugs to make you seem like the guy she wants you to be.
otherwise i agree with rek about you being totally fucked. you seem insecure about your relationship. girls are programmed to know if you're insecure. she thought you were insecure and tested her theory and your response was magnitude 10 / 10 so you're fucked. chances are there's some guy aside from either you or this idiot you're getting mind fucked over, and she'll end up with that other guy
|
You fucked yourself here.
Her friend is trying to fuck her - you just gave him a fuckload of ammunition to get into her pants.
Fuck, you need to be a douche to the friend, not to her.
|
On August 24 2009 03:03 Sprite wrote:
Just dump her there are plenty of fish in the sea. Like if she's bothering you so much and you can't talk to her about it then like why waste your time anyways with her.
That's not the right thing to say. What if your SC disc broke and I was like look, there's plenty of fish in the sea, here play CnC instead. You'd be like hell no Give me SC.
|
haha, well thanks for the replies guy, serious or not. =)
like i said before, i just needed to vent. my girl and i talked it out as best we could through text messages since shes at work but we're seeing each other tonight to just be there for each other.
i dont know, i read some posts saying i was fucked, but i dont think so. i trust her and love her to death. and lets say for some mysterious reason you guys are right. im not gonna cut my wrists for her. i love her but i know that there is more than just 1 special girl in the world.
so no worries guy =) i had an insecure moment but (hopefully) im living a life and planning a life where i am comfortable in my own skin.
peace out!
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
|
On August 24 2009 03:39 jjun212 wrote:
haha, well thanks for the replies guy, serious or not. =)
like i said before, i just needed to vent. my girl and i talked it out as best we could through text messages since shes at work but we're seeing each other tonight to just be there for each other.
i dont know, i read some posts saying i was fucked, but i dont think so. i trust her and love her to death. and lets say for some mysterious reason you guys are right. im not gonna cut my wrists for her. i love her but i know that there is more than just 1 special girl in the world.
so no worries guy =) i had an insecure moment but (hopefully) im living a life and planning a life where i am comfortable in my own skin.
peace out!
GODDAMMIT! KICK THE DOUCHE'S BALLS IN TO TWO!
sorry for typing in caps but this guy really needs to escalate things, you know?
|
yeah now that you've posted this here i expect future updates
|
honestly your problem is that you care too much
what are you, probably 18 or so? there will be tons of people in your life and most of them will not matter in a few years
these are facts
|
Girl topics are the best because it brings out all sorts of people that are not qualified at all to talk about the topic.
|
She sounds like a slut. IMO
|
On August 23 2009 23:59 ItsPaul wrote:Her friend wants a piece and never got one, therefore regardless of who this girl sees, he is going to suggest its a bad move, its not even anything against you as much as this guy trying to manipulate her into seeing every other guy as a bad choice aside from him. Your gf will deny she knows this, but will know it 100%, and will love the fact that someone wants her even if shes not interested in him. Therefore she will do things like what she did at the movies, because it keeps him thinking he just MIGHT have a chance one day. This is shit that insecure girls, and guys do, and its these stupid fucking games that make me hate relationships. You need to let the girl know how it makes you feel, and get her to stop leading this guy on without straight out telling her to stop leading the guy on (which she is but will deny). Remind her also that this guy is only going to make judgements about you based on what SHE tells him about you, and if he is saying to her that he thinks you are using her, its because she has somewhat implied that, so that he will let her know she can do better, thus making her feel better about herself. I doubt they will ever hook up or anything, because she already has him under her thumb, its just a matter of whether or not you can get her to cut the shit out. The more threatened you are buy this guy, the more threatening he becomes, and I disagree with Rekrul, confronting the guy will just give him the old 'I told you he was bad for you' spiel, and if you guys are fighting at the same time, she just might agree with him. GL dude, if you can manage to get her to cut out the mind games you guys will prolly have something great
This. Paul knows what he's talking about.
|
|
|
is awesome32269 Posts
If you don't have the guts to punch him in the mouth, just imagine this guy having sex with your girlfriend, specially anal.
Hope this helps.
|
And he doesn't pull out. She'll be shitting his semen for a week.
|
|
|
looooool thread just got 100x better
|
not even from that clip, either
|
sure is high school in here
|
On August 23 2009 23:40 Rekrul wrote:
tell him if he ever tries to put things into your girlfriends head ever again you will fucking kill him, then punch him in the mouth to let him know you're serious
im not joking. shit like that is totally unacceptable either he's a complete retard homo or he's trying to fuck her
if you don't want to take that approach, realize that if you think your girlfriend is out of your league you must be emitting some serious insecurity in some form or another that your GF can certainly detect which is probably why shes confiding in this other faggot
I agree with this, it's either he's a retard or he wants both of you to break up so he can get your girl.
|
On August 24 2009 13:22 ReCharge wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2009 23:40 Rekrul wrote:
tell him if he ever tries to put things into your girlfriends head ever again you will fucking kill him, then punch him in the mouth to let him know you're serious
im not joking. shit like that is totally unacceptable either he's a complete retard homo or he's trying to fuck her
if you don't want to take that approach, realize that if you think your girlfriend is out of your league you must be emitting some serious insecurity in some form or another that your GF can certainly detect which is probably why shes confiding in this other faggot I agree with this, it's either he's a retard or he wants both of you to break up so he can get your girl.
Hey Josh sup? Looks like you're alive again LOL! ^^
|
On August 24 2009 13:24 Licmyobelisk wrote:Show nested quote +On August 24 2009 13:22 ReCharge wrote:On August 23 2009 23:40 Rekrul wrote:
tell him if he ever tries to put things into your girlfriends head ever again you will fucking kill him, then punch him in the mouth to let him know you're serious
im not joking. shit like that is totally unacceptable either he's a complete retard homo or he's trying to fuck her
if you don't want to take that approach, realize that if you think your girlfriend is out of your league you must be emitting some serious insecurity in some form or another that your GF can certainly detect which is probably why shes confiding in this other faggot I agree with this, it's either he's a retard or he wants both of you to break up so he can get your girl. Hey Josh sup? Looks like you're alive again LOL! ^^
Yeah, alive ^^
Anyway back on topic, I'll try to be unbiased.
About the girl:
Here's the thing, she TOLD you the story, she's very open about it, which means, she's trying to make you jealous. Why? Not sure, maybe you guys haven't been doing stuff like you used to do. And she misses that. Or she wants you to punch the dickhead. Or she wants to break up with you. Because, she wont tell you about the "date" if she didn't want something done.
About the guy:
He's a dickhead, he wants to fuck your GF and screw you over at the same time.
About you:
You're handling things in an immature way, tell her how you feel, ask her if theirs something missing in your relationship that she wants. Because the key to a good relationship is communication, it looks like you haven't been talking as much, maybe sweet talking but not "talking". Got it.
Advice:
Asura Strike the dickhead. Talk to your GF. Ask her what you guys want to do with the relationship.
|
On August 24 2009 09:47 IntoTheWow wrote:
If you don't have the guts to punch him in the mouth, just imagine this guy having sex with your girlfriend, specially anal.
Hope this helps.
Instant rage Boost.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
