I've changed a lot in quite a few way. 1. My cock seems to have grown even more than I knew.
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lol jk. i wanted a funny in here somewhere
2. I've begun casually smoking weed. This is an obvious change since I didn't before(as I never really tried it until this summer)
. This might even be why the following things happened. I beg your pardon, I'm not completely sober while writing this.
3. I don't care anymore. I no longer care if the girl I liked picked some other guy over me. I don't care that my house is a mess. I don't care that the rest of my family almost guaranteed has a psychological illness. Depressing stuff like that was constantly stuck in my head, making me feel more horrible with each passing day. It's like I just decided I can't win anymore or something so I just shrug it off right away and keep going.
I felt like such a tool in some ways. How some people would treat me and I would just nod and agree what what they say. What they wanted me to do for them. Fuck, I'm not gonna lie. I was a bitch. I don't know how else to say it well. I didn't stick up for myself a whole lot.
I stopped caring about others opinions of me. If some one doesn't like me anymore cause I blaze once in a while then fuck them. I'm not changing for anyone now. This is who I am, like it or not. I don't mean this as a bragging thing or something, but I'm a smart guy. I know what I'm getting myself into, I know my limits, and I know my goals. I'm not brain dead or anything.
4. I started caring about what I wanted, and what I deserve.
I'm overall a depressed guy still, but not because "I'm sad" or because I hate my living conditions or something, it's because, well FUCK I have 4+ years of college to do now and this summer I worked 40hrs/week which was exhausting. I don't get to sleep in, I have pay bills and shit, etc. I'm not sad because of my lack of confidence or something anymore, I'm moreso depressed/mad that I have all this crap to deal with in my life until I'm living the good life ;D, but that's not something I can change, so w00t!
I just had to rant a little there. Time to go to bed, work in the morning! Good night TL!