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that I changed. A LOT.
I've changed a lot in quite a few way. 1. My cock seems to have grown even more than I knew.
+ Show Spoiler +lol jk. i wanted a funny in here somewhere 
2. I've begun casually smoking weed. This is an obvious change since I didn't before(as I never really tried it until this summer)
. This might even be why the following things happened. I beg your pardon, I'm not completely sober while writing this.
3. I don't care anymore. I no longer care if the girl I liked picked some other guy over me. I don't care that my house is a mess. I don't care that the rest of my family almost guaranteed has a psychological illness. Depressing stuff like that was constantly stuck in my head, making me feel more horrible with each passing day. It's like I just decided I can't win anymore or something so I just shrug it off right away and keep going.
I felt like such a tool in some ways. How some people would treat me and I would just nod and agree what what they say. What they wanted me to do for them. Fuck, I'm not gonna lie. I was a bitch. I don't know how else to say it well. I didn't stick up for myself a whole lot.
I stopped caring about others opinions of me. If some one doesn't like me anymore cause I blaze once in a while then fuck them. I'm not changing for anyone now. This is who I am, like it or not. I don't mean this as a bragging thing or something, but I'm a smart guy. I know what I'm getting myself into, I know my limits, and I know my goals. I'm not brain dead or anything.
4. I started caring about what I wanted, and what I deserve.
I'm overall a depressed guy still, but not because "I'm sad" or because I hate my living conditions or something, it's because, well FUCK I have 4+ years of college to do now and this summer I worked 40hrs/week which was exhausting. I don't get to sleep in, I have pay bills and shit, etc. I'm not sad because of my lack of confidence or something anymore, I'm moreso depressed/mad that I have all this crap to deal with in my life until I'm living the good life ;D, but that's not something I can change, so w00t!
I just had to rant a little there. Time to go to bed, work in the morning! Good night TL!
 
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Korea (South)11403 Posts
welcome to the world of the potheads.
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it is obviously affecting your short term memory as well as your apathy, you have two #3's
EDIT: to counter the ninja edit, well played
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United States23799 Posts
Yes. You've changed. You've grown up
+ Show Spoiler +...in some ways, and gone backwards in others
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On August 17 2009 17:07 Grobyc wrote:I'm not braid dead or anything.
Not poking fun in a negative way, that's just a great typo. But yeah, welcome to getting older.
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lololol I said I was high while writing this. It's not like I'm high all summer or anything...
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On August 17 2009 17:15 Radical wrote:Not poking fun in a negative way, that's just a great typo. But yeah, welcome to getting older.
lol read my above comment for the explanation on that...
Oh yeah, and I don't plan on doing anything stronger than weed. This is it for me, I don't need crazy trips and crap to have this. weed is just my form of a stress reliever and a good way to spend time with friends.
Cause that strong crap is the stuff that ruins your life. I'm fine right here.
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United States12383 Posts
3. I don't care anymore. I no longer care if the girl I liked picked some other guy over me. I don't care that my house is a mess. I don't care that the rest of my family almost guaranteed has a psychological illness. Depressing stuff like that was constantly stuck in my head, making me feel more horrible with each passing day. It's like I just decided I can't win anymore or something so I just shrug it off right away and keep going.
This is like the definition of depression. Get counseling if you still feel this way during the school year. Your college probably provides it for free. I took advantage of my school's free counseling when I was being forced to suppress my depressing thoughts and it made me feel A LOT better.
If your college doesn't provide it for free try to find a close friend you can talk to.
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On August 17 2009 17:24 motbob wrote:Show nested quote +3. I don't care anymore. I no longer care if the girl I liked picked some other guy over me. I don't care that my house is a mess. I don't care that the rest of my family almost guaranteed has a psychological illness. Depressing stuff like that was constantly stuck in my head, making me feel more horrible with each passing day. It's like I just decided I can't win anymore or something so I just shrug it off right away and keep going. This is like the definition of depression. Get counseling if you still feel this way during the school year. Your college probably provides it for free. I took advantage of my school's free counseling when I was being forced to suppress my depressing thoughts and it made me feel A LOT better. If your college doesn't provide it for free try to find a close friend you can talk to.
My best friend is basically in the same boat and we talk basically every day.
It's been getting quite a bit better in the past week or so actually.
Speaking of college, we're both actually in the same program and have every single course shared so that's a plus. Pretty stoked for that.
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On August 17 2009 17:15 micronesia wrote:Yes. You've changed. You've grown up + Show Spoiler +...in some ways, and gone backwards in others
i'd go with this opinion
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grats on finding the joy of marijuana. i think it can be very stimulating when used in proper amounts. i find it keeps me more aware of reality. but don't over do it. i've fallen into that trap, smoking 3 times a day makes you feel shitty
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Yes, weed may make you feel good for a day or two but if you smoke like 10+ joints a day like me and my friends were doing last summer... expect to forget about anything and become really lazy unpreocupied etc during these days. Now I like to smoke after dinner or anytime I go out, never during the day AT HOME.
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Basicly you could have just said "I've started smoking weed" and everybody would assume the rest of your story
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On August 17 2009 17:07 Grobyc wrote:
4. I started caring about what I wanted, and what I deserve.
Feeling you "deserve" things in life is a dysfunctional thinking habit that can only cause you misery. You have to realize, life is not fair. You deserve nothing. Make the best of life with what you have.
If you feel you deserve something, and you wind up not getting it, it just makes you resentful and depressed. Don't put so much emphasis on aspects of life that you do not have much control over.
What you do have complete control over is how you react to your environment. Try to be optimistic.
And I agree with the above poster, you should get counseling in college. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy seems to work best.
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On August 17 2009 17:07 Grobyc wrote:that I changed. A LOT. I've changed a lot in quite a few way. 1. My cock seems to have grown even more than I knew. + Show Spoiler +lol jk. i wanted a funny in here somewhere
I was afraid to click that spoiler LOL
+ Show Spoiler +
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Actually not caring how you look or how your house looks etc is a symptom of depression.
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did you sleep from the opposite side of your bed?
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Welcome to the adult life.
I stopped caring about others opinions of me. If some one doesn't like me anymore cause I blaze once in a while then fuck them.
Good. 90% of people are morons anyway, so chances are their opinions will be wrong or worthless either way.
I don't care anymore. I no longer care if the girl I liked picked some other guy over me. I don't care that my house is a mess. I don't care that the rest of my family almost guaranteed has a psychological illness.
Good. Never let that shit get to you, ever. HURRR IM A SIEGE TANK. That's the way to tackle everything.
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On August 18 2009 06:18 TommyGG wrote:
did you sleep from the opposite side of your bed?
No. I tried but I couldn't fall asleep that way. My bed is small enough where my feet hang off the end of my bed, so when I tried sleeping the other way around there wasn't room for them to hang off because they of the head board for the frame so I just slept normally.
On August 18 2009 06:13 CharlieMurphy wrote:
Actually not caring how you look or how your house looks etc is a symptom of depression.
Nono I didn't mean that. I care how I look still. I'm not like Faust in that way lol. I don't not shower and crap like that because I don't care if I'm smelly or anything.
As for the house, I keep my room tidy, it's just the rest of my family that are slobs. Their rooms and their messes they make around the house is what I was referring too. I still clean up after myself.
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EPT
