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Testie vs Neighbour, FIGHT!

Forum Index > General Forum
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 9 10 11 Next All
SK.Testie
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Canada11084 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-23 08:59:55
August 23 2007 08:54 GMT
#1
As I write this, it's 4:00 AM.

So, during May our neighbours go away every year for the summer. Which is fine and all. They're pretty decent neighbours, the husband's kind of a douche, the wife's sweet and polite. But regardless, a decent lot. Last year, they let an old chipper couple take care of their house next door while they were away. Our houses all side by side, as the term neighbour implies, when I'm out on the porch barbecuing I could wave over and say, "hey!" and enter jovial small talk. This year, they let about six young adults around my age rent the house. That could be kind of cool, they're my age after all, right? Shit, might even have a drink with them if they're cool.

As I write this, it's 4:05 AM.

I wake up, at 2:50 AM to, "lovin', it's what I got!" And I think, what a great summer song! And then I hear a hockey puck smack wood. Somebody's taking slap shots at the side of their deck! Hooray, hockey! Canada's national sport!

Too bad that relaxing summer tune is being butchered by some ugly hippie girl playing guitar with a bunch of annoyingly voiced girls and dirty looking guys in hoody's & bandanna's next door. The kind of girls where not only is their natural voice annoying, but they get louder and more annoying just to command extra attention.

So, they've done multiple times before. On the most recent occasion, I got up, went out onto my porch and said "SHUT UP AND GET INSIDE, PEOPLE NEED TO SLEEP." (I censored myself on this occasion.) Either they were more coherent, or I was louder at that time, but they all obeyed and scampered inside immediately. A few filtered out again later, but when I heard them talking again, all I needed to do was open the door for them to run inside.

As I write this, it's 4:15 AM.

So, anyway, I get dressed, head down to the porch, open the door and step into the night where their sing-a-long sounds worse and their hockey game is a guy and a girl flirting with eachother wrestling over the puck now.

As much as I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs, I didn't. I raised my voice and called over, "Hey!!". No one even sees or notices as i'm yelling from a darkened porch. I raise it up a notch. "HEY!!!". A couple turn and one tries to quiet the others but isn't doing any good at all. So after a brief wait I yell, "HEY!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP". Diplomacy is for regular hours of the day. Half of them turn, the other half too inebriated and still, "Eh, what was that?". I continue yelling like that saying, "SOME OF US HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW". At this time, the less inebriated and the ones possibly held responsible really start to try to quiet their guests.

A short ugly fat girl with lesbian hair pipes in, "Hey suck it buddy!" And a few others start to raise their voices in agreement.

I ignore her and target the tenants and repeat my earlier statement with more force.

A slightly overweight guy in a cap and a green hoody. "Hey, how 'bout I eat the peanuts out of your ass". (That's why I don't party with any of the guys in my town, this accumulates to the extent of their wit). Seriously, any bar in town they are all the same. A good number of decent people, but too many hicks or welfare cases interspersed fucking up the whole atmosphere of the place.

Being too tired for wit I fired off the honest reply, "Hey ugly, no one asked you. Maybe in your skiddy neighbourhood people party next to each others houses at all hours of the night, but people here actually have shit to do other than collect welfare. So shut the fuck up, people are trying to sleep"

At this time, I'm happy (and frankly, really surprised) I got the last word as the tenants actually told them to be quiet and ushered them into the house. Two girls apologize (though of course talk shit later) However, as everyone gets ushered inside, I know I'm in for more. It's a party, there's smoke breaks, and they're not done singing with the hippie who can't play the guitar.

Long story short, the next time they came out more banter ensued and they were ushered inside again. But they eventually kept coming out, it's a party, and smoke breaks are outside. (I called the neighbours who let them rent the house, and with them partying in the background again let them know what was going on, at what hour.)

So, unfortunately, during my exchange to save the rest of the neighbourhood, I had woken my sister up. (Which now makes me the douche).

Regardless, what revenge can I exact on my inconsiderate neighbours?

Plan A: I wake them up with lawn mowers and hammering in a couple hours, at 7:00 AM. I do some extremely loud yard work for a couple hours or more etc... It's ok, because the house on the other side is up early, and does the same thing on occasion and the rest of the houses are farther enough away that they won't hear the noise of a lawnmower if it is inbetween two houses thus muffling the sound.

So TL.Net, help me brainstorm. I'm too tired. When I wake up, hopefully there's a good number of ways to make these last 2 weeks with them as annoying for them as possible.

Rule 1. No damage of property.
Rule 2. There'll probably be a couple more rules by tomorrow when some suggestions go too extreme.
Social Justice is a fools errand. May all the adherents at its church be thwarted. Of all the religions I have come across, it is by far the most detestable.
i.play.ZERG
Profile Joined August 2007
Canada276 Posts
August 23 2007 08:58 GMT
#2
You can humiliate them in Starcraft, let them pick their favourite race while you random. They'll be like "WTF HAHA ITS GG NOW" but then they'll totally get worker-rushed.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
August 23 2007 08:59 GMT
#3
Plan D(otA): play DotA with us :}


i'd just call the copssss ;D
Hates Fun🤔
OhThatDang
Profile Joined August 2004
United States4685 Posts
August 23 2007 09:03 GMT
#4
...do you play an instrument?
or get some of your friends to create a minor band
some trashcans and sticks
some stuf around the house
and make some noise
obviously you dont need a big poster that reads "SUCK IT" for them to understand
if u just bother them like they have bothered you
troi oi thang map nai!!!
fuglyfrog
Profile Joined July 2007
United States521 Posts
August 23 2007 09:04 GMT
#5
Get some big black guys to scare them.
CubEdIn
Profile Blog Joined April 2006
Romania5359 Posts
August 23 2007 09:07 GMT
#6
Be the better man and just forget about it.


OR


Call some friends with metal pipes and wait for them to come out.
Im not a n00b, I just play like one.
rushz0rz
Profile Blog Joined February 2006
Canada5300 Posts
August 23 2007 09:10 GMT
#7
Do you have a dog? Get it to shit on their lawn multiple times.
IntoTheRainBOw fan~
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
August 23 2007 09:13 GMT
#8
What about knocking them all out;;?
CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
Jim
Profile Joined November 2003
Sweden1965 Posts
August 23 2007 09:15 GMT
#9
Cant you call the police?
To sup with the mighty ones, one must climb the path of daggers.
Liquid`Nazgul
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
22427 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-23 09:24:51
August 23 2007 09:24 GMT
#10
youre fucked

buy some of those earpieces that block the sound
Administrator
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
August 23 2007 09:29 GMT
#11
play some bw
weaksauce
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
369 Posts
August 23 2007 09:31 GMT
#12
On August 23 2007 18:29 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
play some bw


crank the subwoofer and get those tanks sieged >
even if he DID detect penis - cubEdin
fight_or_flight
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States3988 Posts
August 23 2007 09:32 GMT
#13
....idk things are crazy now and you can get shot with a gun for really stupid stuff. Call the cops.
Do you really want chat rooms?
rpf
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
United States2705 Posts
August 23 2007 09:33 GMT
#14
Do the same shit to them during the day when they're trying to sleep after drinking and staying up all night. They have to sleep at some point, no?
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud
nOob
Profile Joined November 2005
Spain120 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-23 09:40:08
August 23 2007 09:39 GMT
#15
a)ninja-steal the guitar sneakin into the house and then break it into pieces and put them in their front door with a poster sayin "MUSIC IS DEAD" written in blood o,o

b)If any of the rooms in your house are wall-to-wall with your neighbour's house, take 2 sticks/baseball bats/whatever and play some music on that wall >.<

c) Take one speaker or two and put them on the window with some death metal music, they'll be like wtf is this sound, reminds me of daddy yelling and beating me in my childhood T_T
LRM)nOob MgZ)inneoov LRM)DadA DadA(elite)
Liquid`Nazgul
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
22427 Posts
August 23 2007 09:42 GMT
#16
On August 23 2007 18:33 rpf wrote:
Do the same shit to them during the day when they're trying to sleep after drinking and staying up all night. They have to sleep at some point, no?

When you're totally hammered you don't exactly wake up from a one man army named Testicles.
Administrator
dementus
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Singapore1151 Posts
August 23 2007 09:49 GMT
#17
plug your ears using that massive 'fro of yours.
"I couldn't stop myself from having unreal macro and sick timing senses."
Divinek
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Canada4045 Posts
August 23 2007 09:50 GMT
#18
Do they have a car? Id guess not from them being welfare, I guess you'd have to rip up their bus passes but that'd be hard. If they do have a car, or van, whatever hippies drive now a days, there's many cliche things you can do. But it'd probably be counter productive to damage their only way away from you. Hippies are challenging people to piss off as everything that annoys us they do for leisure practice. Maybe you could call the cops and say they broke in and are living there now, as that's what hippies do. Or soak them all with emmense amounts of water whenever you see them, hippies hate water, like cats or something. This no property damage rule is really a limiting factor. If it was my neighbours we'd just beat their ass.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Oh goodness me, FOX tv where do you get your sight? Can't you keep track, the puck is black. That's why the ice is white.
Yogurt
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States4258 Posts
August 23 2007 09:56 GMT
#19
show em your ENLARGEDtesties
ok dont not so good something is something ok ok ok gogogo
Manifesto7
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Osaka27140 Posts
August 23 2007 09:57 GMT
#20
video tape what they do and send it to their parents.

really.
ModeratorGodfather
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