baller Fan Club

On September 16 2010 09:59 baller wrote:
now i have thought of a new unit that blizzard will probably steal 4 heart of the swarm expansion but i dont mind if they call it "baller rank" when it reaches 10+ kills

it is called... drumrolll... the hydraroach


Sentient drew dis unit

now u may be asking baller how does this unit work? well i will tell u my friends. u may think is this just a hydra? no it is not. it is a hydra, sort of. but this hydra is riding on the back of a roach.

but baller, if its not a hydra and its not a roach how does it work? i will explain.

HYDRAROACH FAQ

wat is the cost and supply of the hydraroach?
hydraroach costs 4 supply and costs 175/75, u may say how did u think of this cost and supply well u might notice this is the exact cost and supply of a hydra+roach units 2gether

how do i make the hydraroach?
there r 2 ways 2 make the hydraroach

1. make it with 2 eggs, the hotkey is pressing H and R 2gether. make sure to time this correctly because u may accidentally make a hydra and a roach separately and that would be disaster

2. upgrade roach saddle. burrow a roach. move hydra on top of roach. unburrow roach and boom u have a hydraroach. this actually works with any zerg unit, but u need 4 roaches + saddle upgrade 2 carry an ultralisk.

how does a hydraroach move?
a hydraroach moves as fast as a roach. if u have roach speed, it moves as fast as a roach with speed.

wat about high ground? can other units see the hydra part of my hydraroach?
the hydra part of the hydraroach is just like on high ground so ur enemies can't see it. but they can kill the roach and the hydra drops to the ground, taking 40 damage from his fall and is stunned 4 five seconds. u may upgrade hydra parachute and this won't happen.

can my hydraroach walk over cliffs?
the roach part cannot but hydra has ability called "dismount" and if u use it near a cliff hydra can walk off roach onto cliff.

can vikings and turrets hit my hydraroach?
yes. they can hit the hydra part of ur hydraroach. but a unit that only hits ground can only hit the roach part.

how does a hydraroach attack?
hydraroach has 2 attacks, 1 from the hydra and 1 from the roach.

how does burrowing work? this seems complicated...
dont worry baller will explain 4 u.

to burrow u must press burrow twice, once to burrow the roach and then to burrow the hydra. to unburrow u need to press it twice as well.

this is good 4 tactix bc u can burrow only the roach and then hellions come and r like "yoyo lets kill this fool hydra!" but u just unburrow and boom u have a roach and the hellions r like oh shit wtf where did that roach come from??

how much space does a hydraroach take in an overlord?
this is the great thing about the hydraroach -- overlord can load just the hydra part, the roach just hangs out the bottom. so u can fit 4 into an overlord.

does a hydraroach have any counter?
no. the only counter to a hydraroach is to have more hydraroaches. but thors do good vs hydraroach bc it can kill hydra from long range using air attack then attack the roach.

if u have any tips or tricks or want 2 pre-add hydraroach to liquipedia, plz do so but credit me as the creator of this new unit thx


by Ketara

On July 13 2010 10:33 baller wrote:
ur wrong, good analogies like mine help every1 understand better. imagine ur a guy who lost his legs in a war. and ur brother was in a horrible mugging gone wrong. and the government contacts u about a special project he was working in -- ur bro was a phd of behavioral science and was also an astronaut who was going 2 be sent to another planet to interpret with the natives there bc the planet has a lot of useful raw materials. the government has been working on these special suits called avatars which are dna of the natives, called the omaticaya ppl, and that of a human. they ask if u would be willing 2 help them since ur mind and ur bros mind r the same. imagine u accept this offer, and travel several years to a lush wonderful planet. ur conscripted by the marine leader who says he'll get u ur legs back if u spy on the natives instead of just do sciency stuff that ripley wants u to do. but it gets complicated when u fall in love and realize that u might be fighting for the wrong side. but u fuck up and blue cats think u betrayed them and ur only hope is to become turok makto, who united all the tribes. without that great analogy u would have never understand how to defeat the evil humans. do u see now why good analogies r necessary? thx.

On July 13 2010 10:05 baller wrote:
dude r u really complaining that someone deleted ur blatant advertising from their channel, wtf?

imagine theres this giant carnival and one of the most popular booths at the carnival was a guy lets call him Hal Husky was really good at painting widgets. mad people watched this dude paint widgets man he was popular at it. then some guy named Mikey Ranter walks in front of him and goes yoyo check out my booth, i paint widgets too. and Mikey Ranter would run to all the popular widget painting booths like Ken Klazart and Sir Diggity and Chris Cholera started doing this. and then when Hal is like dude, i don't appreciate u blatantly advertising ur widget painting stand in front of my widget painting stand, Mikey gets really pissed and freaks out.

ok all of u right now r probably like baller wtf r u talking about? well imagine the "carnival" is "starcraft 2" and "painting widgets" is "commentating" and "widget painting stand" is "youtube channel" and "widget painting stand watchers" are "youtube subscribers" and "Hal Husky" is "Husky" and "Mikey Ranter" is "LittleMikeStarCraft."

do u see now? "oh shit baller that makes so much sense" u say? ur welcome.

On July 17 2010 10:17 baller wrote:
here is how u capture her

sneak up behind her and whisper "honinbo shusaku.. ku.. ku.. kuu..." (like an echo)

and when she turns around act like u didnt say anything

On July 13 2010 10:11 baller wrote:
after watching this, i subscribed myself to ur channel just so i could unsubscribe from it

On July 13 2010 09:26 baller wrote:
DO NOT call child services. that will not make ur life any better, it will just ruin ur life, ur sisters life, and ur mothers life.

here is the only viable, real world solution. first enroll ur sister in some sort of self defense class. then train her in basic weapons, hand 2 hand first, then projectile/ranged. once she has the basics down, u can see if she has the right mentality. get her used to taking punches, dodging attacks, etc. if she is 2 scared, maybe take her on vacation to tailand or a buddist temple or smth, use ur creativity. do this on ur holiday breaks and summer vacation. ur first priority should still be studying university, but a close second is the training of ur 10yo sister. after a few years of this, she should be ready. she is now hit girl, like from the movie kick ass. if ur dad tries touching her she can unleash the beast and be like "u wanna play 2 dad?? u cunt" and kick the shit out of him. this is the only solution that will work imo.

i will make an analogy that may help u understand better

lets say theres a real life party. if ur like wuh?? a party is where people assemble to drink and talk with each other. ok so ur going to a party, and it is hosted by steve liquid and his friends. steve liquid has a lot of friends. lets say one of the kids going is named Xero. the party runs out of beer, and Xero says hes goin out to get some beer. but he doesn't actually get any beer. he lied. he lied to the party. so steve liquid says, get out, we dont want liars at our party. then someone named malcom grif says, totally unfair, theres no rule at the party saying u cant lie about mass deception.

now, imagine urself as malcom grif, and "Xero" as dream)xero, and "steve liquid's party" as team liquid forums. do u see now? "oh shit baller that makes so much sense" u say? ur welcome.

i like HDH best but i dont think its wrong 4 ppl to criticise them. its not every day u can make $$$ from commentating about games u love.

AlexWilhelm ur just making HDH fans look bad by being so defensive and offended. HDH r big boys who r professionals and r used to mad haters hatin' 24/7. lots of ppl saying stuff in here probably helps them, and if its just some hater, they can /ignore. theres no need to get all mad and whiny, that just makes HDH look bad imo.

imagine there is a world where there r 2 really awesome warriors, and as some of the village ppl r always like, "u guys suck!!" and the warriors just laugh and shrug their shoulders and walk on bc they kno they r good at warrioring. then one day one of the warriors fans posts a thread on a message board that deals primarily with warriorship, and some of the village ppl r like "u guys suck!" and then the warrior fan gets really mad and insults all the villagers. remember, many of the villagers like the warriors and even subscribe to their warrior channel. only some of the villagers were saying "u guys suck."

ok all of u right now r probably like baller wtf r u talking about? well imagine the "warriors" are HDH and "warrior fan" is "AlexWilhelm" and "warriorship channel" is "youtube channel" and "warrioring" is commentating and "villagers" r TL users and "warrior message board" is TL.net forums and the "world" is earth.

do u see now? "oh shit baller that makes so much sense" u say? ur welcome.

i think there is a problem with their partnership between HD and Husky. they have basically the same number of subscribers and same number of views but they do not share the same amount of name space.



as the graph shows, HD commands a dominant 66% of HDH name and is placed first. also, HD is actually his name while H is not Husky's name. if some1 asked u "have u heard of HD" then ppl will surely be like "oh i kno HD" but if someone asked u "do u kno H?" ppl will be like "who the fuck is H?"

its like if my name was Bo and ur name was Jason and we made our combined name BOJ. i think thats very unfair to Husky because his name is second and its not even his name, its just a letter.

therefore, i propose that HDH change their name to HDHU, or reduce their name to HH to make it fair

one time my cat ran away because i neglected it (forgot to feed it for a few days) and i didnt see him for so long and i was really sad, because even though i was a bad cat owner, i still loved him. i thought he died. i had a video recorded of him on my computer where he ran around the backyard and i'd watch it all the time. then after a few weeks i watched it less and less, until i forgot about him.

a few months later, i watched the video again for old times sake, and my cat wasn't in the video anymore. it was just a video of nothing, as if there was a cat there but he was edited out of the video. it was really strange. i shut off the video and turned off the lights and tried to go to sleep. that's when i heard the meowing. i thought it was sound from the video but when i shut off the video i heard it over and over. so i turned on the lights and the meowing stopped.

i turned on my computer and played the video -- and my cat was back in it. except he wasn't running around the backyard anymore. he was just still, staring at the camera.

[Directed by M. Night Shyamalan]

On August 03 2010 15:58 baller wrote:

this is code

938,458
9 + 3 = 12
8 - 4 + 5 - 8 = 1

479,898
4 - 7 + 9 + 8 x ( 9 - 8 ) = 14

12th letter of alphabet = L
1st letter of alphabet = A
14th letter of alphabet = N

i think this article is saying we r getting LAN support, dw guys

On August 03 2010 15:32 baller wrote:
here is wat u do, u go up to her and say:

"if u don't want to not not not not not not go out with me don't not say yes. u have 5 seconds."

then watever she says (yes or no) take it as a yes. bullet proof.

On July 23 2010 11:20 baller wrote:

it means "the" in german

lets say u speak french and imagine the word in chinese for "the" is ze, now imagine instead of speaking french u speak english and instead of imagining chinese u imagine german

On August 04 2010 11:59 baller wrote:

ur teacher is just jealous that he is stuck teaching while u will go onto better things. u can show him up by englishing the fuck out of the rest of ur life, dont commit suicide that is only playing into his hands.


wat is done is done man. SAT isnt that big a deal, 1970 is like B+ anyway. u should find that girl and then be like yo babbby wats up girl holla back!? and then bang her. thats he best way to get over bad SAT score.


ok imagine urself banging that hot girl from above. now imagine madddd people watching. and ur talking to them. boom shyness cured ur welcome.


ur scared ur going to get drunk with ur college friends every night? do u kno what college is? its easy as fuck. every1 does this and still gets As. u will be fine. unless u kill urself that is, then u'll never get to do this.


ur dad has no right to criticize bc he saddled u with all these genetic problems. however, he also loves u and cares 4 u and wants u to be better than the lardy fatass that u r. again, imagine that girl from above that u r banging. girls bang fat dudes all the time. look at that ron jeremy or that guy from knocked up. u can still get women. best plan is to find the wife of that stupid AP english teacher and bang her first before u move onto others.


dont do it man. u have plenty 2 live for, ur so young b4 college. so many old dudes who banged so many women would trade places with u in a heartbeat. also u wont get to play sc3 or do all that cool avatar shit when that technology is invented.

i have the opposite problem. i try to make friends with girls, and i hear if u hang out with them long enough u can become their friends, but i always get fuckzoned so fast. does any1 have any tips, bc im seriously a noob at not fucking girls within a few days of meeting them. how do i avoid this fuckzone?

On August 04 2010 11:41 baller wrote:
their lyrics r not that sexual and way less "messed up" than britney spears.

i will interpret 4 u


she has so much sex theres many babys. six to be exact. thats a lot of sex, over a 54 month time period. thats a ton of sex. way more than some japanese girl's one night stand.


now shes going crazy with sexual lust, combining BDSM (hit me) with incest (baby). way more extreme than some silly japanese teens fooling around.


clearly a reference to bukkake


at this point in the song its like 50+ babies, which is impossible for 1 person 2 have bc women's equipment dont work after that time

ya so that japanese song is pretty tame compared to USA

sometimes names can be boy and girl both

like imagine someone is named "michael jordan" and someone else is named "michelle obama" but instead of "michelle" she was named "michael obama" but still a woman. also imagine that michael is a name that can be both boy and girl.

ur welcome.

u sound really nervous in the video, try to act confident and charismatic even tho u might have trouble with that. calm down man its not like ur speaking to the president of the united states barack obama who was born in honolulu hawaii and graduated from columbia university and harvard law school. barack was a community organizer and practiced as a civil rights attorney in chicago b4 teaching constitutional law at chicago law school. he then went on to be a senator in the state senate and us senate and eventually ran successfully for president in 2008 against republican john mccain. since then he has signed economic stimulus packages, health care legislation, wall street reform, and an order to withdraw troops from iraq. he also won the nobel prize. but hes not watching this video so dont be nervous man.

BigT should restream BiggerT

that'd show him

On March 30 2010 02:56 baller wrote:
i have no idea who sYz-Adrenaline is but if he makes a lot of birthday threads he is part of the problem. can we stop making birthday threads for every single person on the forum? u kno at some point TL.net will grow to have enough users to make 10 birthday threads a day. theres no need to do this and it just clutters the forum. maybe 4 staff or top players but not for every person.

i'll demonstrate. Eric Clapton was born today. should i make a "happy birthday Eric Clapton"? ok maybe u dont play guitar or listen to that type of music. u kno who else was born today? Vincent van Gogh. i guess u could argue sYz-Adrenaline deserves a thread more than Vincent fucking van Gogh, but his broad, gestural brush strokes and its impact on abstract expressionist painting is probably more worthy than a couple of birthday threads.

happy birthday Vincent and Eric.

On January 31 2010 08:12 baller wrote:

yah ur right, clearly it goes smth like dis:

at stream time, some guy goes into irc, any1 wanna obs? intrigue is like sure ill obs, then goes and dls obsing software, and then while hes doing that someone makes the video intro while someoen else sings the music, and then they ask w/e players r on iccup at the time 2 play, and ask whatever casters r on msn 2 cast, and this time tasteless and artosis were just hanging out at 5am, what luck. and the player video screens just happen 2 be the right order and maps and players, what luck. then someone is like o shit we need 2 stream dis, and they make stream work, conjure servers out of the atmosphere, and create a stream. then r1ch is like wouldnt it be cool to have an overlay, and while tasteless and artosis talk pregame, r1ch programs the overlay, and gives it to the obs nad he uses it and it works fine.

its amazing they can do all that right then without any testing, ur right they shouudl probably test at least some of it

On August 14 2010 02:55 baller wrote:

they got the storm icon bc they drive cars worth a certain amount of $

On September 11 2010 09:05 baller wrote:
hey guys i plan to get a medical research degree at MIT and cure cancer

plz shower me with attention now

On September 09 2010 13:10 baller wrote:
so ur solution is to give joe 32nd finisher $10 so he can buy a burrito while the top 4 can't even quit their part time jobs to play sc2 fulltime? how does this help esports

lets say theres a big bus and ppl ride the bus and u must pay $50 to ride the bus and the riding the bus is really fun and the best bus rider gets $500 at the end of the bus ride. ppl ride the bus for free because its fun not because they might win $10 that won't change anything they will still ride the bus the same # of times. the only bus riders the bus ride winning money matters for r the pro bus riders who ride the bus for a living.

now imagine riding the bus is not riding the bus at all, but starcraft.

On September 09 2010 13:14 baller wrote:

so ur homie at work agreed to do counseling and pay a fine to not go to jail

and he didn't do the counseling, and didn't pay the fine

yah man legal system totally fucked up kill the president

On September 09 2010 12:57 baller wrote:
a lot of ppl have anger problems dont worry

the key for not being mad is when something would make u angry, pretend that it is instead something that calms u down so that u r not angry. then when that thing that normally would make u angry happens, u dont get mad because ur getting calmer

win win win

On May 30 2010 11:58 baller wrote:


whenever me an my friends want 2 play on bnet with our black hiram icons, bnet makes us wait 20+ minutes in the 2v2 queue

then, when we switched from brother hiram avatar to jake sully avatar, we find games in 2 minutes

i don't want 2 say blizzard is racist because they have 3 equally balanced races in the game, but this is ridiculous...

instead of 200 food just imagine the cap is 2000 food and the units cost 10x more

2000 food, thats so much, maybe even too much...

On September 20 2010 12:26 baller wrote:

i dont think ur fully getting it

imagine broodwar with its bnet lan capabilities. now imagine a game that updates bw, with new units and battlenet and mbs and stuff, but imagine it without the lan.

that's starcraft2.

On September 22 2010 15:01 baller wrote:

i see u may have a problem with homos in the military. but imagine if they werent homo. they were just regular dudes like u or me that liked banging chicks. they wouldnt be so bad would they? now imagine these guys that like to bang chicks instead like to bang dudes. problem solved.

On September 25 2010 00:36 baller wrote:
the only thing more annoying than ppl whining about balance is ppl whining about whining about balance. but baller, u ask, doesnt that make u the most annoying bc ur whining about some1 whining about ppl whining about balance?

yes, yes it does.

On September 29 2010 21:52 baller wrote:
ya man totally hilarious u should do stand up comedy ur so amazing telling that guy ur japanese when he thought u werent japanese and posting all ur PMs so everyone can marvel at how hilarious and witty ur comebacks were. this whole thing is like alien vs predator, no matter who wins, we lose

On September 30 2010 09:07 baller wrote:

so how many total "parties" have u been to and what is ur success rate at hooking up with these fly honeys at these "parties?" u should have no problem bringing the hard numbers and % bc ur such a math lab wizard

all i see is a lot of talk and no proof

dont be fooled, this paragraph is actually about ZvT imbalance

Where balanced map conditions are right, zerg liberal trade is not only about zerg racial prosperity and the greater freedom of zerg unit choice but also about ZvT fairness. It's about ZvT fairness which ensures that a concern for the welfare of all zerg players / battle.net citizens is set above activision's special interests. SC2 wings of liberty profits of liberalization must be distributed more equally, both within and between races and countries. This is why ZvT politics matter.

On October 01 2010 14:48 baller wrote:

ya man totally SHOCKING that GSL and OGN can pay 4 the music. they pay millions for studio, broadcasters, prize money, camera crew, observers, makeup, artists, video producers, booths, computers, advertising, internet streams for millions of ppl, or to have their own TV channel. all of this is no problem, but like 10k for a few songs they play over and over, now that's just crazy yo, glad ur here 2 spot how weird that is. maybe u should call CNN right now.

On October 07 2010 10:06 baller wrote:

it means u dont get 200 bucks. u get something they think is worth 200 bucks. it could be a hard drive or some soda pop or even a 100 bill. anything is possible if u go to this LAN.

On October 06 2010 11:48 baller wrote:

nono he made a map that wuz 1/2 FMP and 1/2 low money

if its hard to understand, imagine taking something really stupid with no skill, hmm maybe like taking a dump, and then something with lots of skill, like brain surgery. if u combine taking a dump with brain surgery, that requires some skill. maybe even more skill than regular brain surgery.

thats his argument basically. ur welcome.

On October 13 2010 11:13 baller wrote:
imagine u r a girl. u have 2 pick 10 current starcraft2 top players to go on dates with. plz rank ur top 10 players u would date and describe how the dates would play out (and wat would happen at the end of the night).

On October 13 2010 11:17 baller wrote:
yah man totally agree zerg needs a unit like high templar. throw in zerg marauder and colossus also that should really make it better. asking this dude about 1.2 is like asking a dog whether the patch that reduces cat legs from 4 to 3 is balanced.

On October 13 2010 16:46 baller wrote:

arent u the CEO? just have iccup send a limo

On October 13 2010 16:03 baller wrote:
pro means professional, i read about it on wikipedia. only pro knowledge ppl edit wikipedia, r u calling them liars?

On October 25 2010 13:12 baller wrote:
1. guy think he or his friend should win contest
2. make thread about "obviously superior" song, surely every1 agrees with me
3. wtf ppl like the winning song more??? http://www.teamliquid.net/userpoll/draw.php?poll_id=13459
4. argue like mad, every1 must be wrong bc... see #1

On October 25 2010 13:26 baller wrote:

these pics from top 2 bottom be called "fruitdealer slowly gets used to white ppl"

On October 20 2010 14:48 baller wrote:

imma drop some summarization up in this blog. u r struggling in a class that is a gpa fluffer for any student with a pulse and u believe ur bad grades r not because ur a bad student but because ur teacher envies ur penis and thus just gives bad grades 2 all males.

i think this link will answer all ur questions:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=61938

On October 19 2010 07:49 baller wrote:
i think ur mistaken, it is a movie about italian fighter from philly who fights a black guy for 15 rounds and then wins the rematch and becomes the heavyweight champion of the world

this is wat u do to solve all ur lifes problems. u say all ur friends have better lives? here is how 2 succed like them. follow my instructions very carefully.

first, u put out a job posting on a popular job website like monster.com. make sure its super amazing job, liek 100k per year to massage boobies. rent out a convention center to do the interviews and dress in a suit and talk like some1 educated. when lots of ppl come, make sure to keep the resumes of those that look like u. take photos for records and then do a second round calling them back, but ask for their social security number for "background checks."

second, take the social security number and photo and get a social security card with it. u can tell the gov that you lost it and need a new 1, just keep being persistent and u'll get it. use the card to get a drivers license. use the drivers license to get a credit card. use the credit card 2 buy an international flight. use ur real credit card to buy another ticket for u. so now u have 2 tickets, 1 in ur name and 1 under the job interview guy whose cc u faked.

third, check into the airport under ur id and under his id. board the plane as him. then when ur on the plane, tell the stewardess u need to get off bc u left a very important bag in the waiting area. she will say no but u have to force it. make sure she lets u off. then go to the bathroom, shave off all ur hair, change ur clothes, then board the plane as urself (make sure to check in).

now the plane takes off with 2 ppl checked in, but when it lands only 1 person gets off. boom somewhere over the atlantic u have disappeared. the white house and fbi be like wtf howd u do that pizza guy?? (don't tell them baller told u how, but plz remember who helped u, i may need a favor 1 day).

ur off the gird enjoy ur new life jason bourne.

On October 30 2010 04:16 baller wrote:
dear koryanne,

do u have any advice for some1 who is having trouble approaching younger women? i find younger, innocent looking girls more attractive, but i dont rly kno how to approach them without seeming creepy. how do u start a conversation with these girls? i need help. i dont want to lie and pretend i like justin bieber or smth, that seems kind of dishonest.

thx 4 ur help.

i see only 1 solution for u. u must find this korean guy and this other boyfriend. and u must make out with them. then have ur friends tell her ur history with these dudes and u and ur gf will be even.

yah man u have a beautiful gf, the next time u kiss her just don't think about all the other dudes dongs shes put in her mouth. just don't think about all the dongs. ignore the other dudes dongs, don't think about the dongs of the other guys.

edit but srsly dont think about the dongs, its not worth it

it is prty obvious, Chill is the korean guy she made out with

On October 28 2010 10:57 baller wrote:
the best way 2 stop losing is 2 stop losing. and u do this by winning. like if u r really sad and upset from losing, all of ur anger and problems come from the losses. but instead, if ur winning, then u dont have 2 worry about these problems because when u win, u don't lose. and since u stop losing (bc ur winning), u don't get pissed anymore. ur welcome.

On November 04 2010 12:04 baller wrote:
ur life sounds exactly like alicia keys's life, she started playing piano at 7 and she was valedictorian of her hs and dropped out of columbia university 2 be a musician and sold 12 million copies and won 5 grammy awards. oh and she never had the block creative problem u had. so ok maybe ur nothing like alicia keys.

On November 04 2010 11:58 baller wrote:
there is only 1 way 2 solve this, u must take a picture of her naked body and photoshop ur face and a penis onto it

only way imo

On November 10 2010 05:57 baller wrote:

i can help, for every1 wondering, she probably chose this ID bc "pikachu" is a famous pokemon from the video game and tv show pokemon

On November 13 2010 20:36 baller wrote:

so u knew he hated technology and u still picked an article about it and then ur mad that u got a bad grade? there is an old wise man saying, dont kick a sleeping bear. in this case the bear is ur professor. and this bear really hates technology, and b4 he went 2 sleep he asked u 2 pick an article 2 write a paper on. would u pick a bad paper? of course not.

On November 12 2010 06:22 baller wrote:
just follow my 3 easy steps and u will be studying better in no time

1. dont get distracted
2. dont be lazy
3. study for many hours

if u can follow these steps i guarantee u will study better. ur welcome.

tldr; diamond starcraft player u never saw or heard turns out not to be a girl

scoop of the century some1 call the new york times

On November 20 2010 10:32 baller wrote:
it is OK if u r a fan of a player. even if u cast, u can be a fan of a player. but u must not let fanship make ur commentaries biased. if u need some help being fair balanced casts and not being 2 biased to idra, check out some experienced casters like husky or HD, they do a good job of being excited about both players usually

On December 01 2010 17:49 baller wrote:
ok so she is in a 5yr relationship but is unhappy. and she found her new soul mate which is u. i only see one real solution 2 ur problem here, and that is u guys must get rid her 5yr boyfriend. this will make u guys bond even more. i have some advice on how to dispose of the body.

u gotta grind the teeth and burn the bfs hands, that will get rid of the fingerprints. make sure the face is melted off bc it makes it harder 2 identify. first u gotta drain the body of fluids 2 make it easier to cut and decompose. use a knife, make cuts on thighs and arteries. pump the chest using cpr methods to get the air out. make sure 2 use a bathtub it will be messy. u can use bleach during the process it helps the cleanup afterward and makes it easier for u guys so u wont retch due to the dead person smell if ur not used to it. u can also burn candles or use baking soda, but bleach + plastic sheet 2 cover it up is best.

now u gotta pick ur disposal way. 2 bury, cut body and bury in many different parts. this way u dont have 2 work so hard 2 dig deep, u can dig shallow holes for stuff like head and legs. u dont want to spend 2 much time outside diggin ppl get suspicious. also if like the part gets discovered its less likely some1 calls the police about it since its just some random part, it might be from a chicken or dog or smth not human. u need a large knife and a hammer to pulverize and fully separate and grind the body parts. make sure u put each part in a different plastic bag with bleach and freeze them, then bury them in different sites. the farther away and more remote the site the better.

another way is 2 grind the body into mulch and feed it down the drain. this is better than burying and sewer bacteria helps it decompose, and will also mask the smell. this is a lot more work though and u might clog ur pipes so dont try this unless u can clear bones/flesh out of ur drain urself, u obv dont want to call a plumber for this. food processor works but if u use it too much it could have problems. wat i would do is remove 1 of the toilets in ur house and use that pipe then use bleach and flush many times. make sure 2 plug the pipe after bc the smells will come back otherwise.

glhf

On November 16 2010 07:14 baller wrote:
u r not giving her enough incentive to come on the date with u. u must make it 100% certain she is coming. instead of asking like a pussy, "will you go out with me??" just make her an offer she cant refuse. "go out with me... or i kill you." no way she can oversleep or do homework over that.

On December 02 2010 18:44 baller wrote:

u should get him a fleshlight. but dont just buy him 1, thats very impersonal. make ur own fleshlight 4 him. first, get 100g of starch, add 200g of water. mix and microwave for 1 minute. after its solid, poke a small hole in the center and microwave another 30 seconds. then, estimate his dick size. if ur not sure, try "accidentally" walking in on him in the shower or checking his computer for naked photos. if ur not sure tighter is better, dont want it to be 2 loose. then refrigerate the custom fleshlight for about 1 hr, then remove it and its ready. if u want 2 include a card and maybe a flash drive with some porn on it, that would be cool also.


u can also get him a fleshlight. see above for instructions on how 2 make one.


hm. probably can't get her a fleshlight. can't think of anything right now, maybe listen 2 other people for gift suggestions 4 her.

On December 16 2010 07:53 baller wrote:
their policy seems a little...

*sunglasses*

...dated

On January 08 2011 11:17 baller wrote:
the only way for this to get back 2 normal is for u to do the exact opposite to her. the EXACT opposite. u need to hack her facebook, take a pic of urself, send it to one of her friends, and say "not exactly a beauty king." then u should run around town crying while she tries 2 find you. only solution imo.

On July 15 2010 04:47 baller wrote:


here is my gf and i sitting on a park bench laughing to ourselves lol

isnt this easy

On July 23 2010 22:28 baller wrote:

dont be so hard on urself. isn't ur blog rated in the top 10 of all teamliquid? ur the #1 girl blog too so that says something.

maybe its not guys problem, maybe u just have too high standards? u should try dating some fat guys, they never get any action. i don't mean like so fat can't see feet fat guys, but more like a little fat that if u motivated them they would not be fat. it really works, when i am down i always hang out at the dairy queen and ask fat girls out, it really boosts ur confidence.

On June 30 2011 11:55 baller wrote:
it looks like u were well dressed for a

::sunglasses::

cat fight

On June 15 2011 10:42 baller wrote:
r u guys gonna get the korea progamer "rain" cuz then he'd be reign.rain

and thats funny bc it sounds like saying rain twice but each rain means different things

it means ur blog views on may 11th...

On February 26 2011 10:16 baller wrote:

i have a solution 4 u, it is a method i use often

for example if an event starts at 10:00 KST, and the sidebar says "2h 30m" then that means the event starts 2h 30m from NOW, aka 10:00 KST. thus u just add 2 hours 30 minutes to 10:00 KST, making it 12:30 KST, and thats when the event starts.

ur welcome

On February 20 2011 22:32 baller wrote:
no offense, but if this idea was the movie inception, the oscars would the bad idea awards and inception would win all the awards. afterwards, u realize the idea is not actually the movie inception cuz that movie wasn't bad at all.

On February 01 2011 14:27 baller wrote:


maybe u should take ur own advice?

and stop bitching about ppl crying about the music someone plays when they stream. it's their opinion stream and it's their taste right, they can listen complain about whatever the fuck they want to. besides, are they forcing you to listen to the music crying? it's not like most of the streamers complainers talk into their microphone while streaming to u. just mute the sound and play your own music ignore them.

basically, stop crying about ppl crying about streamers that don't have the same taste in music as you. i'd expect more from Starcraft players, fuck.

On January 12 2011 13:33 baller wrote:
""We are made of stardust and to the stars we must go. This will only happen when our paradise bubble prison becomes unbearable. It is our unfortunate nature that we, as a species, tend to improvise rather than plan ahead; so with this in mind, the more pollution, the more overpopulation, the more resources we need and the larger are our problems, the merrier."
- Ragnar Birko circa 1992"
- Ragnar Birko circa 2007

On December 31 2010 09:29 baller wrote:

maybe GundamWerra stole the PMs and are molesting them now

too soon?

On July 12 2011 07:15 baller wrote:
it sounds like u have a really hard life man

one day all these injustices will be fixed, just be strong and get through these tough times

On July 15 2011 02:32 baller wrote:
wow holy shit ur a girl??

totally wouldn't have guessed that from ur previous blogs

On July 27 2011 05:25 baller wrote:
dude all girl do this to fish for compliments... don't be like the 500 other guys who kiss her feet

just say "try 2 stay positive, fat people accomplish a lot sometimes look at kevin james or shaquille o'neal or aretha franklin"

being fat isnt so bad

On September 09 2011 08:14 baller wrote:

u can say goodbye in the traditional asian way, by eating them