By: Eo Yun Soo

The sense of liberation didn’t truly sink in until I left the base for the final time. For me, military service had been a lifelong burden. Even when I was young I couldn’t help thinking of the day I would have to join and my life would be put on hold. It didn’t matter if I was still in high school or at the peak of my StarCraft II career. There was always a yoke on my shoulders—the knowledge that no matter what I did or how well I played, that I was always going to end up there eventually.

I was allowed to leave the base on numerous occasions, but I never felt like I was on my own time when I did. How could I when I knew I’d be back at the base in a matter of days? It made it difficult for me to enjoy the breaks at times. It was almost painful to return home for a day or two knowing that for those 18 months, the apartment I had shared with my family wasn’t actually my home. Home was the base and it would remain so until my service was complete.

It may come as a shock given how huge of a role StarCraft has played in my life, but I didn’t really think of it all that much during my service. For the first year or so I was focused on what lay directly before me instead of planning for the future. It wasn't until my service was nearly complete that I finally began to wonder what I would do next. What path I would choose when the apartment became home again and my life started anew.

I’m not sure exactly why, but I ended up watching IEM Katowice a few months ago. Almost a year and half had passed since I had last played StarCraft, but even as a viewer the event was incredibly moving. Seeing Serral win reminded me of the elation of being crowned champion. But, more than anything, IEM made me recall how much fun I had playing StarCraft II. Every progamer dreams of winning a championship, but you have to really enjoy playing the game to endure the stretches where wins are hard to come by and the notion of lifting a trophy steadily seems to be slipping away.

Watching IEM convinced me that I needed to give StarCraft another try. And so, with less than two months remaining in my service, I sat down at a computer and played StarCraft II for the first time in 18 months. By the end of the day I was decided. I couldn’t leave StarCraft behind. I still want to be a champion. I still want to compete.

Things haven’t gone as smoothly as I hoped, though. Before I joined the military I always figured that if I started playing poorly I could do my service without missing out on anything. But, now that I’m on the other side, I’ve been experiencing a pressure unlike any I’ve felt before. I’ve been a progamer since I was 15 years old, but I don’t have much time left when it comes to StarCraft II. I know I need to make the most of it, but I’m worried I’ve stagnated. The game is different now and my micro isn’t what it once was. I’m not one of the best players in the world anymore. I can’t enter a tournament and simply expect to make a deep run.

That’s not going to stop me from doing everything I can to get back to where I once was, though. I know I don’t have an eternity to reach the level at which I formerly played, but I’ll be practicing as hard as I can to relive the unmitigated joy I felt when I won IEM Katowice. My goal for this season of GSL was modest—I just wanted to qualify for the main event. Now that I have, I'm playing with house money. I’m particularly excited to play in a streamed event again. I just hope I keep my cool and play to the best of my abilities.

That’s for now, though. I’m just going to enjoy myself and see where things take me. I have no way of knowing the future or how long I’ll play StarCraft II, but everyone knows how much finally winning GSL would mean to me. As long as it's still around I think I have a pretty good reason to stay.

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