{Edit: extra picture at the bottom from Raleigh! Edit: And another!}
There have been many a thread about “Why do you play the race you play?” and there are all sorts of good reasons. The Units. The Flavor. The Playstyle. That’s all great and wonderful, but that’s not why I play Zerg. Why do I play Zerg? Because I like to cuddle. Now I know all the Terran and Protoss players are guffawing and chortling and think it’s all very funny. But this isn’t about you. This is about us Zergs and about how we like to – nay, need to – cuddle. Hopefully I can help all the Terran and Protoss players understand us Zerg players more and we can all have a better community for it.
The most cuddly of all units is the baneling, which I think almost all players understand. They’re creatures are constantly made fun of on the playground for being bulbous and fat. They need a hug. And of course once they get a hug they become so happy that they explode! Into toxic metal-shearing acid. I understand why Terrans and Protosses don’t really see them that way. They see banelings and they want to run. They want them to get away.
The other major factor of cuddlies we seen in the Zerg race is the general way micro works in Starcraft 2. Roaches, for instance, are short range compared to other ranged units. These means the Zerg player wants to be constantly be as close a possible – preferably nuzzling – the other players units. Even with Zerglings, a Zerg’s fondness for cuddles is prominent. Zergs don’t kite and they don’t forcefield people away. They surround. They hug. They cuddle.
It is because of this that I think it is plainly obvious why Zergs are often thought of as whiners and ragers. It’s not necessarily that the game is imbalanced, it’s because us Zerg players are the sensitive guys (or in the words of John D. Dorian, a “sensee”). Really? You blocked my hatch? Why would you be such a jerk? I just want to make drones in peace!
So take that into consideration when someone rages at you. Sometimes they’re just sensitive.
So if Zerg players are the sensees, what are the Terran and Protoss players? Well I think the Terran players are obvious. They’re macho. They’re manly. They’re the ones that sneaked a peek at their friend’s junk in the gym shower and realized with sudden horror how small they really are… so they built the Thor. Am I the only one who thinks that tanks sieging up feels remarkably similar to that point right before a cumshot? And when you see the grin on the Terran’s when the shots finally go off you can definitely be a little creeped out.
Protoss players are a little harder to pin down. Of course, then you realize that they all like to play the game. I think you all know the dumb game I’m talking about. They play hard to get. Whenever somebody just tries to get a little too close (like banelings), they either forcefield them away, blink away, or colossus-cliff-walk away from you. They’re the teases. They want you to come after them, they really do. Vixens.
But that’s not what we’re here to discuss. Let’s consider some popular NA Zergs at the moment. Obviously Korea is a wildly different culture, and I don’t even know the Korean word of “cuddle.” I don’t even know if Koreans know how to cuddle!
Anyway,I think the two most diametrically opposed Zergs in personality are Sheth and IdrA. But when you think about it, it’s really just two sides of the same coin.
Now, I think we all know Sheth is basically a giant teddy bear that happens to crush opponents with cuddly force of ten thousand teddy grizzly bears. He’s probably the most straightforward example. He likes to cuddle other people. People like to cuddle him. Everybody wins! (except for Sheth’s opponent, of course, who is violently cuddled to death)
Idra is a great example of a Zerg player that’s been mistreated by the community. He’s a very sensitive player. He wants cuddles when his opponent doesn’t. It’s not fair, and we all know that he’s better. It comes across as rude, but really he just wants a hug. (Hopefully, I can get people to randomly hug Greg and he’ll hate me forever. True burning hatred from IdrA = Priceless)
I hope I have brought the community some insight into Zerg players and what makes us tick (Hint: It’s cuddling). I understand some people will completely disagree with me and my psychographic profiles of the races. But let’s just all say they’re repressed with their true feelings. Great! That’s all the time I’m going to spend arguing about that.
So in conclusion, Good Luck, Have Fun, and Cuddle the Zergs!
It’s not necessarily that the game is imbalanced, it’s because us Zerg players are the sensitive guys (or in the words of John D. Dorian, a “sensee”). ]
Haha very funny and an internet cookie for the Scrubs reference
Imo, zergs whine because it is a psychologically abused race. Think about it, we have to defend constantly while barely scraping by with drones, and generally win 20m games while losing 10m ones. Being constantly attacked and abused would make anyone really bitter and defensive and depressed. Except July. He's a man.
Us protoss are misunderstood as well. When you are shot by a stalker they are trying to give you free electricity. Colossi just think you're cold and need to be warmed up. Sentries just want to tickle you, and zealots want to hug you. Hopefully people will now see the protoss as the kind and empathetic race that we are.
HEY now. I, for one, am most certainly a PROTOSS cuddler. When my charge zealots and archons wrap so neatly around your army.... AHH i just feel so warm inside ^ ^
On August 27 2011 09:26 Lolrior wrote: I think Ultralisks especially are misunderstood. They just want a hug ;_;
I'll give them a hug... as soon as there's a large enough muzzle for all their blades.
It's people like you who make us Zerg so sad! We're just trying to spread the love, especially Ultralisks who want to hug everything at once! They're not that smart so sometimes they hug too hard.... but they just want to love you!
As a Protoss, if you can convince me that Mutalisk's are cute too (the only Zerg unit I really hate), I will have absolutely no more hate for the Zerg race
On August 27 2011 12:33 SentinelSC2 wrote: As a Protoss, if you can convince me that Mutalisk's are cute too (the only Zerg unit I really hate), I will have absolutely no more hate for the Zerg race
On August 27 2011 12:33 SentinelSC2 wrote: As a Protoss, if you can convince me that Mutalisk's are cute too (the only Zerg unit I really hate), I will have absolutely no more hate for the Zerg race
On August 27 2011 12:33 SentinelSC2 wrote: As a Protoss, if you can convince me that Mutalisk's are cute too (the only Zerg unit I really hate), I will have absolutely no more hate for the Zerg race
On August 27 2011 12:33 SentinelSC2 wrote: As a Protoss, if you can convince me that Mutalisk's are cute too (the only Zerg unit I really hate), I will have absolutely no more hate for the Zerg race
Challenge accepted?
Why do you think Mutas clump up together so easily? They're just so lonely that they cling to one another in the sky. ;~;
Zergling in many languages (Chinese, Russian) is translated as "dog" --> of course, we are cuddly! Remember that zerglings and broodlings kill only because they are hungry ("nomnomnom"). They don't hate you, they don't despise you, they just need to eat something, and you happen to be there!
On August 27 2011 12:33 SentinelSC2 wrote: As a Protoss, if you can convince me that Mutalisk's are cute too (the only Zerg unit I really hate), I will have absolutely no more hate for the Zerg race
Zergs just aren't cute enough.. If they were much more adorable Terran and Protoss would never win a game against them due to it being too cute to hurt.
On August 27 2011 12:33 SentinelSC2 wrote: As a Protoss, if you can convince me that Mutalisk's are cute too (the only Zerg unit I really hate), I will have absolutely no more hate for the Zerg race
On August 27 2011 12:33 SentinelSC2 wrote: As a Protoss, if you can convince me that Mutalisk's are cute too (the only Zerg unit I really hate), I will have absolutely no more hate for the Zerg race
I am a Zerg player, and I am a dog person...but I cuddle with my dog, because he's a dachshund, and small enough to cuddle with. I think I am going to dress him up as baneling for Halloween.
I'd like to request that all zergs cuddle with my zealots but stay away from my sentries please, they're very fragile and don't like to be touched. The zealots would love to cuddle though.
Also, my Dark Templar keeps trying to cuddle but all the little zergies keep running away T_T.
Oh god, I hadn't laughed so hard ni days. Excellent job OP ! I guess this is why my favorite matchup is zvz (may seem strange but true), all this love on the screen <3
On September 01 2011 15:30 Whitewing wrote: I'd like to request that all zergs cuddle with my zealots but stay away from my sentries please, they're very fragile and don't like to be touched. The zealots would love to cuddle though.
Zealots are not very cuddly, they're CONSTANTLY slapping us in the face.
On September 01 2011 15:30 Whitewing wrote: I'd like to request that all zergs cuddle with my zealots but stay away from my sentries please, they're very fragile and don't like to be touched. The zealots would love to cuddle though.
Zealots are not very cuddly, they're CONSTANTLY slapping us in the face.
Well, don't cuddle with your fangs and claws then, and we've got a deal.
Another reason for us playing Zerg, apart from cuddling, is that Zerg units are the cutest. You just have to admit, there is no Terran or Protoss unit that could ever come close to a ling or baneling (in cuteness).
On September 28 2011 03:22 FungalLove wrote: This thread is awesome.
Another reason for us playing Zerg, apart from cuddling, is that Zerg units are the cutest. You just have to admit, there is no Terran or Protoss unit that could ever come close to a ling or baneling (in cuteness).
Even the freaking tumors look cute and friendly.
<3
I dunno, colossi can be pretty cute, as can stalkers.
On September 28 2011 03:22 FungalLove wrote: This thread is awesome.
Another reason for us playing Zerg, apart from cuddling, is that Zerg units are the cutest. You just have to admit, there is no Terran or Protoss unit that could ever come close to a ling or baneling (in cuteness).
Even the freaking tumors look cute and friendly.
<3
I dunno, colossi can be pretty cute, as can stalkers.
i dunno I have taken a liking in them banshee pilots, APOCALYPSE <3
EPT![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/uploads/lmmhwmiaxc_small.png)
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/ooxlyvfqmo/big.png)
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/xqumrtxisw/big.png)
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/mnsoqbmrvx/big.png)
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/pmhmbpirbe/big.png)
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/vcnlawerzb/big.png)
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/zdaxbhirnb/big.png)
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/yagxxtefka/big.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/juEZD.png)
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/phaltwvrgj/big.png)
and now I want to hug Sheth... and Day9... But I always want to do that
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/dPbi4.jpg)
This needs to be here.![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/staff/konadora/14xh5kz.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff275/HERBKILLS/Zerg.png)
![[image loading]](http://img861.imageshack.us/img861/1926/mutalisk.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Emfoz.jpg)
http://i.imgur.com/Emfoz.jpg![[image loading]](http://www.teamcheesefactory.com/wp-content/gallery/random-team-pictures/ultralisk_hug.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/ea8fa313abad68826893c3c67db6b306/41973%20-%20artist%3Afiggs%20crossover%20fluttershy%20hi-res%20starcraft%20zerg.png)
![[image loading]](http://i1221.photobucket.com/albums/dd478/starcraftchibis/6.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://www.fomos.kr/board/photo/1252388059_1.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/kXHEt.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Ptxt1.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/9/2010/08/baneling.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr6mtkBv741qfrtvko1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1317198818&Signature=ADISj14WN3sB8ImTER4Kyz4b%2BjI%3D)
![[image loading]](http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/6313/eyesyq.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/hMFtN.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/iPt0j.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/GMunK.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/aJ1k2.jpg)
