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The Terran Dominion Marine Corp Handbook - Page 4

Forum Index > SC2 General
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Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18918 Posts
February 12 2011 00:52 GMT
#61
Extremely cute / funny thread, and pretty well written. Keep em coming!
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
Setev
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Malaysia390 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-12 01:34:43
February 12 2011 01:30 GMT
#62
Rule #1: You don't have to stand still while being healed by the medivac laser! It is simply a beam of energy that activates your suit nanites to fill up the holes in your suit as well as produce morphine to inject into your butt. Besides, chicks dig men of action, and when I say action, I don't mean doing the chicken dance to get their attention. You fucking shoot zealots/bodyslam shield-first into any zerglings like the badass that you are. That'll cause some orgasms and in no time, you will have several of them taking turns to heal you after exhausting their energy. You still need medical attention after you return to base, so no need to rush things with them in the battlefield.

Rule #2: At the base, never talk down to medivac pilots coz they might take your dick away when you are sedated but if you play your cards right, they might also take your dick, in a good, erotic way. So always behave around them! Use proper salutations even when over the radio, and do not complain about any itches you have. (They might take it the wrong way) Instead, scratch with your fingers.

Rule #3: Never say "heal bus" and the name Maria Thalesses in the same sentence. Its extremely bad luck and ALWAYS result in accidents during surgery. Once a marine thought he was being funny talking about "Maria's healing busts" in the ER, but ended up mysteriously dying of explosive baneling tumor growth, despite being injured by psionic blade slashes in battle.
I'm the King Of Nerds
Conrose
Profile Joined October 2010
437 Posts
March 27 2011 06:21 GMT
#63
Because a certain someone is late in getting out an entry for a Mothership, I'm forced to do so.
.
Mothership: Little is known about these gargantuan vessels. Survivors of the Battle of Tarsonis spoke of "Arbiters" that were able to distort the very fabric of time and space to render friendly forces invisible to the naked eye. The mothership reportedly has the very same ability. It also reportedly has the ability to create a tear in reality to warp in distant forces to the battlefield instantaneously. These lies and misinformation are spread by terrorist organizations and Alien Sympathizers. The forces these "Motherships" supposedly summon are already there and were unaccounted for because of the cloaking field. And reports of Protoss forces being whisked away from the battlefield by this method is clearly a rumor twisted and manipulated from witness reports of Protoss use of Hallucinations. See beyond these illusions and recognize the true threat of the Mothership, the ability to create something akin to a temporary naked singularity. Some call it a black hole or a vortex for simplicity... but it is not. If you are the victim of such, you will be stretched to near infinite lengths, your perception of time slowed, and while the process as we would see it from outside would only last approximately 20 seconds, there is no way to determine how long it would feel like from within. It may be minutes, hours, days, even years trapped within before you are finally expelled. Thank your lucky stars that the Protoss are overly concerned for the safety of their fellow warriors as it designed to restore its victims fully to their original shape at the end of its duration... though typically the Protoss Forces would have shoved their otherwise useless Archons into the Vortex with you and unleash their psionic fury upon all their enemies the moment they could. We've lost whole armies to this tactic in the past, but the Archons have apparently developed an adverse reaction to these vortexes and in the past few months have been witnessed running away from a Mothership induced Vortex. As such, we hope to secure the testimonies of vortex survivors. Special business interests that provide significant funding and support for our great leader propose a practical application of Vortex technology in the field of physical therapy. The process of stable "Spaghettification" shows promise for treating back problems, muscle aches and pains and even Arthritis.
Kujawa
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States137 Posts
March 27 2011 06:29 GMT
#64
lol this is great, nice post, pleasent and funny read :D
get the fuck out ball- hot_bid
just lucky
Profile Joined March 2011
Philippines16 Posts
March 27 2011 09:43 GMT
#65
This is gold. I was laughing the hardest for Ultras.
This was no time for play. This no time for fun. This was no time for games. There was work to be done.
osten
Profile Joined March 2008
Sweden316 Posts
March 27 2011 09:46 GMT
#66
This was very cool but really, the convicts have no control themselves over stimpacks. It's just cooler that way.
TheKanAry
Profile Joined August 2010
United States149 Posts
March 27 2011 10:06 GMT
#67
Zerg: Overlord: Think back to any Birthday parties you may have attended early in your life, remember the part where they brought out the pretty colored animal, and you took savage pleasure in beating it, and then eating it's innards? The same rules apply here*.

*Warning, the dominion has no responsibility for anyone that eats an Overlords innards, if you do eat an Overlords innards, please report to the nearest dominion scientist(s) available, so that they can study the results. And remember, food poisoning does not qualify you for a medal, it doesn't matter if you vomit up both your lungs.
those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
viii
Profile Joined March 2011
United States266 Posts
March 27 2011 10:16 GMT
#68
i loved the carriers one
For those who came from nothing, and became something - DGK
IntoTheEmo
Profile Joined February 2009
Singapore1169 Posts
March 27 2011 10:21 GMT
#69
Wait what, mentioned the defiler but no mention of possible YAAA PLAYGUUU screams! >:O
MMOs kill APM. However Proleague plus BW Proscene music increase APM -> 100. 이제동 Fighting! Highest ranked Jaedong owner in FPL10 = clearly #1 Jaedong fan~! <- Keeping my sig from 2010
Mada`
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United Kingdom37 Posts
March 27 2011 10:23 GMT
#70
haha, love this!
krok(obs)
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Germany264 Posts
March 27 2011 10:37 GMT
#71
haha loved the read. just wanted to throw this in here because i think it fits so well :-D

[image loading]
http://www.sc2ranks.com/eu/481074/krok
Conrose
Profile Joined October 2010
437 Posts
March 27 2011 14:15 GMT
#72
On March 27 2011 18:46 osten wrote:
This was very cool but really, the convicts have no control themselves over stimpacks. It's just cooler that way.


The Terran Dominion's military uses resocialization on a much smaller scale than did the Confederacy by most Canon sources that discuss it thanks to much more effective Propaganda than the Confederacy had.
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