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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Dark_Chill
Profile Joined May 2011
Canada3353 Posts
April 14 2018 11:48 GMT
#19301
I mean, I guess everything happening during pregnancy is extremely complicated. Apart from amount of sunlight, maybe exercise affects things too. You probably go out more in the summer than in the winter.
CUTE MAKES RIGHT
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
April 14 2018 14:39 GMT
#19302
In Canada apparently a lot of our OHL players(it's a league below the NHL) are born in January, because when you're 4 and trying out for a rep team(which is apparently a thing) it helps to have almost a full-on year over a kid born in December. This advantage falls off as you get older and into the higher leagues.

So there is an advantage or disadvantage to certain birth days but astrology in general is a load of shit.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-04-14 15:57:08
April 14 2018 15:56 GMT
#19303
On April 14 2018 23:39 WarSame wrote:
In Canada apparently a lot of our OHL players(it's a league below the NHL) are born in January, because when you're 4 and trying out for a rep team(which is apparently a thing) it helps to have almost a full-on year over a kid born in December. This advantage falls off as you get older and into the higher leagues.

So there is an advantage or disadvantage to certain birth days but astrology in general is a load of shit.

Well yeah but you can see that there's something to it right
and there might be statistically signifficant differences between zodiac signs, just not based on stars or some stuff like that but on weather seasons sun and other stuff

So when you're on a date with a girl you can at least consider that it's not completely retarded when she tells you she's such a Virgo
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
Excludos
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Norway8281 Posts
April 14 2018 19:53 GMT
#19304
On April 15 2018 00:56 LemOn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 14 2018 23:39 WarSame wrote:
In Canada apparently a lot of our OHL players(it's a league below the NHL) are born in January, because when you're 4 and trying out for a rep team(which is apparently a thing) it helps to have almost a full-on year over a kid born in December. This advantage falls off as you get older and into the higher leagues.

So there is an advantage or disadvantage to certain birth days but astrology in general is a load of shit.

Well yeah but you can see that there's something to it right
and there might be statistically signifficant differences between zodiac signs, just not based on stars or some stuff like that but on weather seasons sun and other stuff

So when you're on a date with a girl you can at least consider that it's not completely retarded when she tells you she's such a Virgo


I mean, if I was dating a primary schooler, sure. Other than that I'm still going to consider it completely retarded
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
April 14 2018 20:23 GMT
#19305
On April 11 2018 20:01 SoSexy wrote:
Guys, I'm curious - what was your worst 'wtf' moment in dating? Thinking about crazy people etc.


Making out with someone only to find out she was a transvestite. In his defense, he was very pretty and charming.

On April 14 2018 10:51 GoTuNk! wrote:
best story ever
so many girls are into that crazy shit (tarot, astrology) it's mind boggling


Not really surprising if you consider what those practices are.

On April 14 2018 12:48 L_Master wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 14 2018 11:16 WarSame wrote:
Then again, a lot of guys are into crazy shit like the red pill or shooting up schools, so pick your poison


What is the red pill? I hear the term but don't know exactly what it is.

I do think there is a vein of truth to the whole, I think they call it blackpill/looksism idea. The people that ascribe to it hardcore are taking it wayyy to far in my opinion, but I think there is more truth to it than most people realize or are willing to accept.


Think of The Red Pill as a loose combination of the men's right movement (TRP adherents don't believe organized advocacy will accomplish anything substantial though) and the PUA community. It's a decentralized community of guys who come up with heuristics/models of social dynamics, promote some facets of traditional masculinity and promote individual self-improvement. Unsurprisingly they skew socially conservative although a considerable portion are liberal/libertarian. The Black Pill is the extreme, cynical manifestation of that philosophy.

On April 14 2018 13:45 WarSame wrote:
There's a little bit of truth to everything.

TRP emphasizes gender roles(alpha/beta males, women are most important for their looks) to an extreme degree.

EDIT: Okay, this post contains the words alpha and beta as an explanation, so hopefully that doesn't violate the thread rule.


Alpha/beta isn't a gender role as much as behavioral shorthand for how women evaluate men in terms of overall sexual strategy. The looks issue is about which traits men subconsciously prioritize for arousal.

To their credit, their models for intersexual dynamics are far more sophisticated and nuanced than pretty much anything else I've read over the years. The fact that psychology studies are now confirming things that were posited 15 years ago is risible in that respect.
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
April 14 2018 22:20 GMT
#19306
Alpha/beta are kinda sub-gender roles. They are possible ways in which you can behave according to your gender, with alpha being "preferred". They have an alright understanding of dating sometimes, but they also mix it in with a lot of misogyny(AWALT) and unhealthy mentalities. If you're looking for dating advice, why not get good dating advice that isn't misogynistic?
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
SoSexy
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Italy3725 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-04-16 11:07:13
April 16 2018 10:52 GMT
#19307
I read quite a lot of stuff and my final verdict is that subs like r/theredpill understood many things correctly but sometimes it's full of cringy posts. As always, the truth is in the middle. While some things are ridicolous (I read a post the other day which was supporting the idea that if you are not lifting you are not a man - pathetic, just imagine someone like Kafka or Hawking being told so), others are just plain right and whoever denies them simply has not experienced social interactions (i.e. the 'offer a drink' dynamic or the concept of 'social value')

To answer your last question, War, I believe that 'normal' dating advice is fine but sometimes doesn't have the guts to tackle some issues.

In this moment I can't think of any major wtf moment but I have to say what makes me ragequit is NOT BEING SINCERE. Social texting is worse than eye cancer. We are adults, I ask you out, if you are not interested just say NO. What do you think I will do? Jump out of the window?? At worst I'll say 'ok, see ya' and move on.

Last week I asked a girl out, she said yes, I'd really like to (we had some contact at a bar where she's working). When I propose a time, she stops replying, changes her bio to 'engaged' and posts a story with her boyfriend (I thought she was single, otherwise I wouldn't have asked, not my style). CANT' YOU JUST SAY I HAVE A BOYFRIEND? HOLY S***
Dating thread on TL LUL
VHbb
Profile Joined October 2014
692 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-04-16 11:52:47
April 16 2018 11:51 GMT
#19308
Several of my girl friends (not dating, just friends) have been insulted or attacked verbally when rejecting guys. Two times I was even there with them, but this didn't stop the guy from throwing quite heavy insults. I can understand that one can get upsed/scared and prefer to tell you that she will go out, just to bail out later.
you never know when these idiots could pass from insults to actually attacking you physically

(edit -- I'm of course not referring to you, just saying that these experience can change how a girl reacts)
My life for Aiur !
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
April 16 2018 12:32 GMT
#19309
Guys, read the PSA at the top. Red pill alpha beta gamma Delta stuff isn't really part of the thread's purpose.
I don't want to get baited in engaging here.
So btt, thanks.
passive quaranstream fan
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
April 17 2018 09:16 GMT
#19310
Yearly or so reminder that I still despise it when the first date can only be arranged only after 14 days+ from the first time we started talking/matched. Do I message her every day? Every other day? Only when I found a 10/10 meme or a very rare Pepe? Do I worry if she doesn't message me by herself after a day? Every other way?

Man, all this annoying stuff only for a possible "I had fun, but didn't feel the chemistry doe. You're all fine and dandy though, so don't worry, it's not you! "

Not that talking with this chick has done anything to us so far. She answers everything I ask in a very thorough way, so none of that "I see" bullshit, and she has a mind of her own, so that's cool. But I don't feel that we've gotten any closer. She doesn't really ask anything though, not even "and what about you?" - then again, I'm not even sure if I'd want that, + I said a lot even without asking I guess.

As for astrology, I find MBTI much better and less weird. You just have to remember that it's mostly a guideline and nothing more. The moment I read Fi or Fe I'm out. Still, it interests me.
Emnjay808
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
United States10666 Posts
April 17 2018 12:16 GMT
#19311
Talking to diff girls but I lose interest quick. Still very interested in someone I dated last year but she’s moved away.

I’m in a cycle where I develop interest in a classmate/coworker. Talk for a bit but eventually start wanting to talk to the girl I dated last year again. I didn’t love her or anything, it was more of extreme infatuation or something.

I keep small contact with her through social media. I tried going cold turkey on that but it doesn’t work since we have the same circle of friends.

Still looking for a new girl to “rebound”(for lack of a better word) with so that I can get over it and move on.
Skol
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-04-23 21:58:03
April 23 2018 21:45 GMT
#19312
On April 17 2018 18:16 Volband wrote:
Yearly or so reminder that I still despise it when the first date can only be arranged only after 14 days+ from the first time we started talking/matched. Do I message her every day? Every other day? Only when I found a 10/10 meme or a very rare Pepe? Do I worry if she doesn't message me by herself after a day? Every other way?

Man, all this annoying stuff only for a possible "I had fun, but didn't feel the chemistry doe. You're all fine and dandy though, so don't worry, it's not you! "

Not that talking with this chick has done anything to us so far. She answers everything I ask in a very thorough way, so none of that "I see" bullshit, and she has a mind of her own, so that's cool. But I don't feel that we've gotten any closer. She doesn't really ask anything though, not even "and what about you?" - then again, I'm not even sure if I'd want that, + I said a lot even without asking I guess.

As for astrology, I find MBTI much better and less weird. You just have to remember that it's mostly a guideline and nothing more. The moment I read Fi or Fe I'm out. Still, it interests me.


It's really annoying on Tinder when I get matched with someone and they don't answer or they stop replying. Why do they like anyone then? Do they want to be entertained only? Well, sorry, but this isn't one-directional.

Also, I no longer sympathise with women's thoughts that men are pigs, bad, etc. If people like me are single, then they're also doing something wrong. A friend of mine is also not a bad person but he's single too. I know this isn't a modest opinion but I've seen competition and I don't think their manners are better. I guess looking for love rather than one-night stand is too much to ask for on Tinder. Or, you know, they could pick up the bad guy who might be prettier, but then in a few years time they'll regret and might even divorce. Fuck long-term thinking. :D
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7684 Posts
April 24 2018 00:17 GMT
#19313
you used to sympathize with women's thoughts though?
It is terrible to die of thirst at sea. Must you so salt your truth that it will no longer even slake thirst?
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
April 24 2018 01:02 GMT
#19314
On April 24 2018 06:45 sc-darkness wrote:
It's really annoying on Tinder when I get matched with someone and they don't answer or they stop replying. Why do they like anyone then? Do they want to be entertained only? Well, sorry, but this isn't one-directional.


The validation.

On April 24 2018 06:45 sc-darkness wrote:
Also, I no longer sympathize with women's thoughts that men are pigs, bad, etc. If people like me are single, then they're also doing something wrong. A friend of mine is also not a bad person but he's single too. I know this isn't a modest opinion but I've seen competition and I don't think their manners are better. I guess looking for love rather than one-night stand is too much to ask for on Tinder. Or, you know, they could pick up the bad guy who might be prettier, but then in a few years time they'll regret and might even divorce. Fuck long-term thinking. :D


You can also be the nice, polite gentleman that gets half his assets ripped from him when she gets bored and decides to look for greener pastures. Sadly conscientiousness and empathy do not stimulate tingles.
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
April 24 2018 02:09 GMT
#19315
On April 24 2018 06:45 sc-darkness wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 17 2018 18:16 Volband wrote:
Yearly or so reminder that I still despise it when the first date can only be arranged only after 14 days+ from the first time we started talking/matched. Do I message her every day? Every other day? Only when I found a 10/10 meme or a very rare Pepe? Do I worry if she doesn't message me by herself after a day? Every other way?

Man, all this annoying stuff only for a possible "I had fun, but didn't feel the chemistry doe. You're all fine and dandy though, so don't worry, it's not you! "

Not that talking with this chick has done anything to us so far. She answers everything I ask in a very thorough way, so none of that "I see" bullshit, and she has a mind of her own, so that's cool. But I don't feel that we've gotten any closer. She doesn't really ask anything though, not even "and what about you?" - then again, I'm not even sure if I'd want that, + I said a lot even without asking I guess.

As for astrology, I find MBTI much better and less weird. You just have to remember that it's mostly a guideline and nothing more. The moment I read Fi or Fe I'm out. Still, it interests me.


It's really annoying on Tinder when I get matched with someone and they don't answer or they stop replying. Why do they like anyone then? Do they want to be entertained only? Well, sorry, but this isn't one-directional.

Also, I no longer sympathise with women's thoughts that men are pigs, bad, etc. If people like me are single, then they're also doing something wrong. A friend of mine is also not a bad person but he's single too. I know this isn't a modest opinion but I've seen competition and I don't think their manners are better. I guess looking for love rather than one-night stand is too much to ask for on Tinder. Or, you know, they could pick up the bad guy who might be prettier, but then in a few years time they'll regret and might even divorce. Fuck long-term thinking. :D

A lot of men are pigs. They're not wrong. I don't see how that's related to you not being attractive to women.

Also, Tinder is often considered a hookup app, not longer term dating.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
riotjune
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States3394 Posts
April 24 2018 02:31 GMT
#19316
oink
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
April 24 2018 06:27 GMT
#19317
On April 24 2018 10:02 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 24 2018 06:45 sc-darkness wrote:
It's really annoying on Tinder when I get matched with someone and they don't answer or they stop replying. Why do they like anyone then? Do they want to be entertained only? Well, sorry, but this isn't one-directional.


The validation.

Show nested quote +
On April 24 2018 06:45 sc-darkness wrote:
Also, I no longer sympathize with women's thoughts that men are pigs, bad, etc. If people like me are single, then they're also doing something wrong. A friend of mine is also not a bad person but he's single too. I know this isn't a modest opinion but I've seen competition and I don't think their manners are better. I guess looking for love rather than one-night stand is too much to ask for on Tinder. Or, you know, they could pick up the bad guy who might be prettier, but then in a few years time they'll regret and might even divorce. Fuck long-term thinking. :D


You can also be the nice, polite gentleman that gets half his assets ripped from him when she gets bored and decides to look for greener pastures. Sadly conscientiousness and empathy do not stimulate tingles.


Well, I'm not sure what kind of conversation they're looking for when they didn't bother to write a description at all. Also, some people's photos don't give you enough to work with, so you have to shoot in the dark.
SoSexy
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Italy3725 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-04-24 07:41:10
April 24 2018 07:24 GMT
#19318
On April 24 2018 06:45 sc-darkness wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 17 2018 18:16 Volband wrote:
Yearly or so reminder that I still despise it when the first date can only be arranged only after 14 days+ from the first time we started talking/matched. Do I message her every day? Every other day? Only when I found a 10/10 meme or a very rare Pepe? Do I worry if she doesn't message me by herself after a day? Every other way?

Man, all this annoying stuff only for a possible "I had fun, but didn't feel the chemistry doe. You're all fine and dandy though, so don't worry, it's not you! "

Not that talking with this chick has done anything to us so far. She answers everything I ask in a very thorough way, so none of that "I see" bullshit, and she has a mind of her own, so that's cool. But I don't feel that we've gotten any closer. She doesn't really ask anything though, not even "and what about you?" - then again, I'm not even sure if I'd want that, + I said a lot even without asking I guess.

As for astrology, I find MBTI much better and less weird. You just have to remember that it's mostly a guideline and nothing more. The moment I read Fi or Fe I'm out. Still, it interests me.


It's really annoying on Tinder when I get matched with someone and they don't answer or they stop replying. Why do they like anyone then? Do they want to be entertained only? Well, sorry, but this isn't one-directional.

Also, I no longer sympathise with women's thoughts that men are pigs, bad, etc. If people like me are single, then they're also doing something wrong. A friend of mine is also not a bad person but he's single too. I know this isn't a modest opinion but I've seen competition and I don't think their manners are better. I guess looking for love rather than one-night stand is too much to ask for on Tinder. Or, you know, they could pick up the bad guy who might be prettier, but then in a few years time they'll regret and might even divorce. Fuck long-term thinking. :D


You are right but you made a glaring mistake. You assumed women share your same forma mentis. Apart from rare exceptions, women usually act on feelings rather than rationality. So what you are saying makes sense - why shouldn't you answer someone you willingly matched? As another poster said, dating validation. The majority of guys would find stupid to swipe right and not answer a message from the same girl - to what purpose? The fact that there is a small percentage of men who do the same (and women who don't) do not deny this theory - it proves it.

WarSame is right on some points. Many men are pigs, I tend to agree on that. However, he tries to defend the idea that someone willingly matching a guy on a dating app and not answering him is ok due to the nature of men. No, dude. Just no.

Story time: a friend of mine is not very handsome but he's quite intelligent - talking with him is a pleasure and he had is fair amount of girls in the past. He's not shooting for models or whatever, he is quite humble. Now he's looking for a serious relationship and started talking this this girl who he met through mutual acquaintances. On Saturday afternoon he went to this park where youngsters in our city usually go and she sent him a text 'what are you doing today?'. He answered with a picture of the park and a beer he bought. She answered 'wow, so original. that same park. not interesting at all.'. He thought that was teasing but she actually stopped answering. Why would you feel the need to behave like that? I've witnessed men do terrible things but in their 'defense' (which is not a defense, mind me) they always thought they would fit their plan (or they had a plan). At least there is a kind of rational motivation behind it (i.e. cheating is disgusting imo, but one would understand the rationale 'I want new sexual experiences - this app gives me access to them - I won't get caught and it'll be a one time thing' or whatever floats your boat). In a case like this girl, there is no rationale. It's just throwing shit at a person who did nothing wrong and for no reason at all.
Dating thread on TL LUL
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
April 24 2018 07:55 GMT
#19319
Idk what you're trying to say with that post. Other than men are from Mars and women from Venus. And this is getting old.
passive quaranstream fan
SoSexy
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Italy3725 Posts
April 24 2018 09:04 GMT
#19320
Yes, you don't know - otherwise you wouldn't have replied with a one liner that doesn't understand the argument.
Dating thread on TL LUL
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