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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On May 01 2016 04:52 Skynx wrote:
Yesterday I approached a girl in the library, said i think you re 10/10. She said she had a boyfriend. So its possible i guess.
or . . . did it
I've never been told to fuck-off verbally. Hell I don't think I had a woman react negatively besides #ignore turn away or silent treatment. It's always something like this instead of hard rejection
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On May 01 2016 05:48 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On May 01 2016 04:52 Skynx wrote:
Yesterday I approached a girl in the library, said i think you re 10/10. She said she had a boyfriend. So its possible i guess. or . . . did it I've never been told to fuck-off verbally. Hell I don't think I had a woman react negatively besides #ignore turn away or silent treatment. It's always something like this instead of hard rejection
Yeah I'd imagine that most rejections are offered relatively tactfully, unless you keep badgering them (in which it'd turn from a No Thank You/ I Have A Boyfriend to anger pretty quickly, and justifiably so).
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Well of course, I'm a gentleman.
And when I did get rejections the women were usually baffled by the reaction to it, kept staring all night at parties and stuff :D
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Well I've ruined her focussed environment and she'll probably fail her major now, I thought that was tge goal 
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On April 29 2016 08:58 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Are you exclusively dating another woman? Because if you're happy in your relationship and you already know that this batting cage girl is trying to steal you away and cause drama and friction, maybe you should just not go out on another date with this girl?
Nope, not exclusive. I have the same opinion you do.
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On May 02 2016 00:55 WarSame wrote:Show nested quote +On April 29 2016 08:58 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Are you exclusively dating another woman? Because if you're happy in your relationship and you already know that this batting cage girl is trying to steal you away and cause drama and friction, maybe you should just not go out on another date with this girl? Nope, not exclusive. I have the same opinion you do.
Cool  Even if you're exclusive, it's certainly nice and flattering to be found interested by other people
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FUCK YEAH BOYS WE DID IT!!!!
27 god damn years old, and just had an absolutely INCREDIBLE first date! This is the second date that I've ever gone on. And this time I was able to just be myself. I bought us ice cream from a little mom + pop ice cream store, and we just walked along the river talking and laughing and planning to change the world. We hugged at the end and she said she can't wait for the next one.
Anyone have any good ideas for second date activities?
Also, YAAAAHOOOO!
My god... It's been such a fucking BATTLE to get to this stage in my life. I'm just killing it with my career and education right now too. And to think a mere three years ago I was working at Subway waiting for my chance to break through (get on the floor, get on the floor get on the floor! No? Nobody getting that one. It was the intro song to some OSL back in the day.) Seriously. This journey has been a long time in the making, and in another way it's only just begun, but it's off to one hell of a start.
To anyone who's out there still battling insecurity, or depression, or anxiety, any of that bullshit. It gets better, you just gotta keep fighting.
My god. Absolutely on cloud nine right now.
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On May 08 2016 02:16 TheDougler wrote:
FUCK YEAH BOYS WE DID IT!!!!
Anyone have any good ideas for second date activities?
Sweet! Depends on what you want to do I guess. An active date or something chill?
I like climbing so going bouldering (short walls) can be a lot of fun, plus you get to see her butt from under. 
I would like to play pool on a date sometime, usually is pretty chill and you can grab a beer or two while you are playing as well.
Lem0n had a super long list of date activities back in this thread, someone else maybe knows where it is...
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On May 08 2016 02:16 TheDougler wrote:
My god. Absolutely on cloud nine right now.
Congrats. Usually lurk because I'm too lazy to log in but I bothered just to say keep it up.
If you two were genuinely sharing ways to change the world (and I'm assuming for the better) maybe you could find a fun way to support a cause that you are both passionate about. You could volunteer at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter for a day or something?
It's not a traditional second date but she might appreciate it. And you'll seem more outgoing and spontaneous I guess.
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On May 08 2016 03:16 bloodwhore~ wrote:
I would like to play pool on a date sometime, usually is pretty chill and you can grab a beer or two while you are playing as well.
I've always wanted to do the super sleazy 'teaching a girl how to play pool' thing to a girl and lean over her from behind... Although I'm not really sleazy enough to do it =(
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Congratulations, Dougler! I think Yoz's suggestions are pretty cool for a second date, and there's always minigolf/ bowling/ any activity that allows for good conversation
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On May 08 2016 02:16 TheDougler wrote:
FUCK YEAH BOYS WE DID IT!!!!
27 god damn years old, and just had an absolutely INCREDIBLE first date! This is the second date that I've ever gone on. And this time I was able to just be myself. I bought us ice cream from a little mom + pop ice cream store, and we just walked along the river talking and laughing and planning to change the world. We hugged at the end and she said she can't wait for the next one.
Anyone have any good ideas for second date activities?
Also, YAAAAHOOOO!
My god... It's been such a fucking BATTLE to get to this stage in my life. I'm just killing it with my career and education right now too. And to think a mere three years ago I was working at Subway waiting for my chance to break through (get on the floor, get on the floor get on the floor! No? Nobody getting that one. It was the intro song to some OSL back in the day.) Seriously. This journey has been a long time in the making, and in another way it's only just begun, but it's off to one hell of a start.
To anyone who's out there still battling insecurity, or depression, or anxiety, any of that bullshit. It gets better, you just gotta keep fighting.
My god. Absolutely on cloud nine right now.
I know things are great man but listen to me, you didn't kiss her so you're playing from behind. Hell you may already be dead in the water.
You need to kiss the girl and you need to do it well. She won't give you much more time if any.
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On May 08 2016 03:38 Fyodor wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2016 02:16 TheDougler wrote:
FUCK YEAH BOYS WE DID IT!!!!
27 god damn years old, and just had an absolutely INCREDIBLE first date! This is the second date that I've ever gone on. And this time I was able to just be myself. I bought us ice cream from a little mom + pop ice cream store, and we just walked along the river talking and laughing and planning to change the world. We hugged at the end and she said she can't wait for the next one.
Anyone have any good ideas for second date activities?
Also, YAAAAHOOOO!
My god... It's been such a fucking BATTLE to get to this stage in my life. I'm just killing it with my career and education right now too. And to think a mere three years ago I was working at Subway waiting for my chance to break through (get on the floor, get on the floor get on the floor! No? Nobody getting that one. It was the intro song to some OSL back in the day.) Seriously. This journey has been a long time in the making, and in another way it's only just begun, but it's off to one hell of a start.
To anyone who's out there still battling insecurity, or depression, or anxiety, any of that bullshit. It gets better, you just gotta keep fighting.
My god. Absolutely on cloud nine right now. I know things are great man but listen to me, you didn't kiss her so you're playing from behind. Hell you may already be dead in the water. You need to kiss the girl and you need to do it well. She won't give you much more time if any.
Don't listen to that stupid shit. You don't need to kiss her right away or anything. Take your time, enjoy yourself, and don't listen to idiots like that.
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On May 08 2016 03:38 Fyodor wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2016 02:16 TheDougler wrote:
FUCK YEAH BOYS WE DID IT!!!!
27 god damn years old, and just had an absolutely INCREDIBLE first date! This is the second date that I've ever gone on. And this time I was able to just be myself. I bought us ice cream from a little mom + pop ice cream store, and we just walked along the river talking and laughing and planning to change the world. We hugged at the end and she said she can't wait for the next one.
Anyone have any good ideas for second date activities?
Also, YAAAAHOOOO!
My god... It's been such a fucking BATTLE to get to this stage in my life. I'm just killing it with my career and education right now too. And to think a mere three years ago I was working at Subway waiting for my chance to break through (get on the floor, get on the floor get on the floor! No? Nobody getting that one. It was the intro song to some OSL back in the day.) Seriously. This journey has been a long time in the making, and in another way it's only just begun, but it's off to one hell of a start.
To anyone who's out there still battling insecurity, or depression, or anxiety, any of that bullshit. It gets better, you just gotta keep fighting.
My god. Absolutely on cloud nine right now. I know things are great man but listen to me, you didn't kiss her so you're playing from behind. Hell you may already be dead in the water. You need to kiss the girl and you need to do it well. She won't give you much more time if any.
Not this shit again.
Sure, it sounds absolutely like he is done for, that is why she can’t wait for the next one. She just really wants to tell him that there is no point in seeing each other again.
+ Show Spoiler +
On May 08 2016 04:53 WarSame wrote:
Don't listen to that stupid shit. You don't need to kiss her right away or anything. Take your time, enjoy yourself, and don't listen to idiots like that. +1
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On May 08 2016 03:38 Fyodor wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2016 02:16 TheDougler wrote:
FUCK YEAH BOYS WE DID IT!!!!
27 god damn years old, and just had an absolutely INCREDIBLE first date! This is the second date that I've ever gone on. And this time I was able to just be myself. I bought us ice cream from a little mom + pop ice cream store, and we just walked along the river talking and laughing and planning to change the world. We hugged at the end and she said she can't wait for the next one.
Anyone have any good ideas for second date activities?
Also, YAAAAHOOOO!
My god... It's been such a fucking BATTLE to get to this stage in my life. I'm just killing it with my career and education right now too. And to think a mere three years ago I was working at Subway waiting for my chance to break through (get on the floor, get on the floor get on the floor! No? Nobody getting that one. It was the intro song to some OSL back in the day.) Seriously. This journey has been a long time in the making, and in another way it's only just begun, but it's off to one hell of a start.
To anyone who's out there still battling insecurity, or depression, or anxiety, any of that bullshit. It gets better, you just gotta keep fighting.
My god. Absolutely on cloud nine right now. I know things are great man but listen to me, you didn't kiss her so you're playing from behind. Hell you may already be dead in the water. You need to kiss the girl and you need to do it well. She won't give you much more time if any.
What the hell is your problem?
First off, there's no rule that says you need to kiss someone on the first date.
Second, it sounded like they really clicked and that the date went really well.
Third, saying things like "Hell you may already be dead in the water" is about as unconstructive as one can possibly be.
Fourth, it's Dougler's second date ever. What really matters at this point, whether this relationship ends up being successful or not, is that he enjoys himself and builds up confidence.
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On May 08 2016 03:16 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2016 02:16 TheDougler wrote:
FUCK YEAH BOYS WE DID IT!!!!
Anyone have any good ideas for second date activities?
Sweet! Depends on what you want to do I guess. An active date or something chill? I like climbing so going bouldering (short walls) can be a lot of fun, plus you get to see her butt from under. I would like to play pool on a date sometime, usually is pretty chill and you can grab a beer or two while you are playing as well. Lem0n had a super long list of date activities back in this thread, someone else maybe knows where it is...
Hah a man after my own heart. Yeah I was thinking about climbing. Definitely want to do an active date this time I think. So yeah climbing might be good. I'm also considering laser tag. Or rafting down the river.
Edit: Also, thanks DarkPlasmaBall, warsame, and waffelz, I appreciate you guys saying that, and you nailed it: she and I clicked, we've already thrown out the dating playbook (we were both laughing about that last night actually, as she was worried she asked too many questions and they were quite political, but I'm all about that! Plus then I broke convention by texting her shortly after the date to compliment her and wish her good night. She loved that).
I also get where that guy's coming from, he's probably late teens/early 20s, and if this was some strait PUA stuff, 7 years ago, and her and I were both seven years younger, he'd have a point. The good news is, being an adult is fucking great, and all of that shit isn't as important as her and I's shared interests, her attraction to me (which is a rare thing... But it's REAL here, which is pretty awesome), her and I's chemistry and sense of humor. Plus different people are different. Some chicks DIG IT when you don't play any game but what's in your heart. And I say that as a person who studied "the game" extensively and eventually realized it's like 90% bullshit. It's not all bullshit, there's some wisdom in there. But yeah, like you mentioned, I'm not dead in the water for not following it haha. So I figured screw it, I'm gonna do it my way, and it's working wonders for me. That's my thinking anyway, and my thinking worked out pretty well last night, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it I always say.
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On May 08 2016 03:17 Yoz wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2016 02:16 TheDougler wrote:
My god. Absolutely on cloud nine right now. Congrats. Usually lurk because I'm too lazy to log in but I bothered just to say keep it up. If you two were genuinely sharing ways to change the world (and I'm assuming for the better) maybe you could find a fun way to support a cause that you are both passionate about. You could volunteer at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter for a day or something? It's not a traditional second date but she might appreciate it. And you'll seem more outgoing and spontaneous I guess.
Dude that's brilliant!!!
I'm definitely going to see if I can come up with something along those lines. Not sure if I'm going to do that right away (she's pretty busy working on her thesis at the moment so I'm going to avoid things that feel too much like work... But, I think you're on to something there. I'm gonna see what I can find and eventually do something like that. Great call!)
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You want to talk about "the game"? You're playing your own version of the game where you are as indirect and mousy as possible in order to get what you want. "First off, there's no rule that says you need to kiss someone on the first date.". Um yes, there is. It is 100% unequivocal in all of western culture that a date ends in a kiss.
Just when you end the date, approach calmly, grab her close, rest your forehead against hers if you have to. If she doesn't push back then seal the deal.
You do not want to be exiting date 2 without a kiss. If she is a girl that breathes air and drinks water then she will expect a kiss.
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On May 08 2016 07:25 Fyodor wrote:
You want to talk about "the game"? You're playing your own version of the game where you are as indirect and mousy as possible in order to get what you want. "First off, there's no rule that says you need to kiss someone on the first date.". Um yes, there is. It is 100% unequivocal in all of western culture that a date ends in a kiss.
Have you been smoking? In what world do you live in where it has to end with a kiss? Not the western culture at least.
Just when you end the date, approach calmly, grab her close, rest your forehead against hers if you have to. If she doesn't push back then seal the deal.
This must be bait. Rest your forhead against hers? What the hell. :D
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The ghost of squattincasanova is upon us! Cower, beta males who think women are people who don't categorically respond to first dates without kisses!
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EPT
