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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On April 26 2016 03:59 The_Masked_Shrimp wrote:
Definition or not, you are nitpicking. Still pretty sure I used it correctly even after checking.
My quote was exactly on point.
My point was about liking a girl you only know from the library, not arbitrarily choosing the library over other places to go hit on random girls. If there is a girl you like that you only see at the library you'd have to talk to her while she's there.
And nobody is telling you it is forbidden. They're just telling you that the chance of successfully chatting up that girl is pretty fucking small when she is trying to study. And that, instead of chatting her up in the library, you go elsewhere to pick up girls. Will you be shot on sight for bothering people in the library? No (although the librarian might throw you out if enough people complain), but if your point is to try to pick up girls during exam period, I am certain there are better locations than at the library.
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Also credit for the silent scallop LOL
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I don't think anyone has argued that asking out girls at the library is the best possible place, nor that you would go full PUA as you suggested DarkPlasma.
Not sure the whole "I'm focused on my work and can't think of anything else" is really a legitimate reason for not approaching someone either. It's not like you go around your normal life (when you dont have your impending doom exam tomorrow) thinking "Gotta be ready for Bloodwhore approaching me". A stranger engaging a conversation with you will most likely catch you off guard regardless, especically if it ends with them asking for your number.
My suggestion from the first place was literally, whoever asked the question, if he is out studying somewhere, library (where talking isn't completely banned) or some normal study place. Study, sit next to someone and talk for a minute, if they are fine with casual talk, ask them for a number.
Is it less likely they will say yes due to being stressed? Possibly. Will you see that girl on a campus with 20 000 other students unless you take similar courses? Probably not. Have you lost anything by doing it? No. Did they panic and fail their exam the day after turning their entire life into rubbles? I doubt it.
Because he's the hero that colleges deserve, but not the one they need right now, so we'll hunt him. Because he can take it, because he's not a hero. He's a silent scallop, a watchful lobster, a Masked Shrimp.
This is quite possibly the best thing I've ever read though.
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On April 26 2016 04:54 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
Also credit for the silent scallop LOL
silent scampi is the better phylogenetic reach
or leering lobster
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On April 26 2016 08:48 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On April 26 2016 04:54 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
Also credit for the silent scallop LOL silent scampi is the better phylogenetic reach or leering lobster
You're a buzzkill barnacle.
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It's not like you go around your normal life thinking "Gotta be ready for Bloodwhore approaching me".
That's exactly how I live my life 
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On April 26 2016 08:56 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On April 26 2016 08:48 IgnE wrote:On April 26 2016 04:54 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
Also credit for the silent scallop LOL silent scampi is the better phylogenetic reach or leering lobster You're a buzzkill barnacle.
A kingfish killjoy?
A party pooper pike?
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On April 26 2016 03:33 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
What matters is how the typical student would react when they've specifically gone to the library to quietly focus on studying for their final exams, and then you walk up to them and try having an irrelevant conversation.
You are not
You find her interesting for whatever reason, you come over and express that. If she responds negatively, you move away without saying a word. If she reacts positively, you state what you want ask for contact details so you can meet later. If she engages you and wants to talk more, so be it.
You're just being honest, I can't see how you can be so selfish to deny her the potential of 60+ years of a great relationship with an amazing person just because the place you saw her at was a library and she might be studying and stressed for a very close exam instead of a bar or a party. What will you tell us next, that you should not talk to girls that attract you that you come across on the street or bus stop because they're not drunk at a bar or a mixer, looking to hookup?
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Please, no slippery slope arguments, LemOn  Not distracting someone from studying for an exam does not devolve into never talking to anyone at another place. In fact, if you've read my posts, I've repeatedly recommended trying bars or coffee shops or other environments that are more laid back and social than libraries-during-exam-time.
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In fact, it isn't difficult to similarly imagine a slippery scenario in which a woman who would otherwise be a perfect match is compelled to write a man off simply because he bothered her while she, in her mind, was clearly studying and closed off to advances. Relying on the likelihood that a woman will react poorly to an exam-time flirtation is an acceptably general way to focus ones' attempts at finding a mate; to act otherwise is similarly acceptable, only one ought not be surprised or discouraged when they inevitably run into a hostile reaction from someone who might have had potential in another setting.
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When you are in the zone then it takes around 15 minutes after an interruption of any kind to get back into the zone. That's pretty much scientifically proven and I experience it every day at work.
If you are interrupting someone who is concentrating on something, e.g. studying, you essentially steal 15 minutes of their life that they are never going to get back, even if the actual interaction just takes 2 seconds and consists entirely of "Get lost".
Also, imagine if more people would do what you do and interrupt random women in the library, they'd never get around to actually studying, because every time they'd get into the zone, some horny guy would throw them out of it again.
Just go to where people actually want to meet other people, clubs, bars, or whatever you youngsters do these days, but don't take people out of the zone and destroy 15 minutes of their life.
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On April 26 2016 23:36 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Please, no slippery slope arguments, LemOn Not distracting someone from studying for an exam does not devolve into never talking to anyone at another place. In fact, if you've read my posts, I've repeatedly recommended trying bars or coffee shops or other environments that are more laid back and social than libraries-during-exam-time.
What I meant is e.g. on the street, bus stops etc. where people are not expecting to be social, but I doubt there's anyone who'd be rationally against talking someone in those settings. And it's not that different from a library?
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On April 27 2016 02:41 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On April 26 2016 23:36 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Please, no slippery slope arguments, LemOn Not distracting someone from studying for an exam does not devolve into never talking to anyone at another place. In fact, if you've read my posts, I've repeatedly recommended trying bars or coffee shops or other environments that are more laid back and social than libraries-during-exam-time. What I meant is e.g. on the street, bus stops etc. where people are not expecting to be social, but I doubt there's anyone who'd be rationally against talking someone in those settings. And it's not that different from a library?
There's a difference between waiting around/ not doing anything (in which you might reasonably be open to having a random/ casual conversation/ small talk) vs. actively focusing on something that's incredibly high stakes (final exams) in an environment where you're expecting to have some level of privacy because you have to get stuff done.
With this analogy, you're saying that the mindset of a college student seriously studying for finals is just as laid back and welcoming to outside distractions as someone just casually waiting for a bus. Those are not the same.
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A family friendish type person(our parents are good friends) is trying to put the moves on me and she is smoooooth. She's been flirting for a while off and on, but now she knows I'm dating another woman she's stepping it up. She got me to go to the batting cages and was like "Oh, I'm just a girl I don't know how to swing bats, want to show me?" and then kinda held the bat so I could show her the proper from behind her. Now she wants to go again and she's like "Oh I'm not going to have dinner that night so we'll need to go somewhere after. Tims, [cafe], Starbucks." She's got game.
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Are you exclusively dating another woman? Because if you're happy in your relationship and you already know that this batting cage girl is trying to steal you away and cause drama and friction, maybe you should just not go out on another date with this girl?
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On April 29 2016 07:57 WarSame wrote:
A family friendish type person(our parents are good friends) is trying to put the moves on me and she is smoooooth. She's been flirting for a while off and on, but now she knows I'm dating another woman she's stepping it up. She got me to go to the batting cages and was like "Oh, I'm just a girl I don't know how to swing bats, want to show me?" and then kinda held the bat so I could show her the proper from behind her. Now she wants to go again and she's like "Oh I'm not going to have dinner that night so we'll need to go somewhere after. Tims, [cafe], Starbucks." She's got game.
Seems like she is more about the drama than the actual dating.
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On April 27 2016 00:22 Morfildur wrote:
...but don't take people out of the zone and destroy 15 minutes of their life.
that's pretty half empty thinking bro. I'd view it as take people out of the zone and gift them 15 minutes of awesomeness
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I was dared to give Tinder a go by a coworker so I've been actually using it. It's been uh, interesting so far. I went in thinking I would get absolutely no matches and I've actually had some success so far. I've found a couple girls I'm actually chit chatting with and it's been fun.
I'm starting to think the whole point of being dared to use Tinder was to be a confidence booster (the person who got me to use it has been trying to get me to open up and be less reserved for a couple years now). Even if I get nothing out of it in terms of dates or whatever, I do think it has at least been a good thing to give it a go.
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Yesterday I approached a girl in the library, said i think you re 10/10. She said she had a boyfriend. So its possible i guess.
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EPT
